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Okay, I would like to weigh in on this from the other side. Please bear with me, because this story makes me look like a jerk (which I was) but it also has a point. A few years ago, I was with a girl who was bi. A friend of mine that I had just gotten to know after a few dinners randomly offered a threesome if I was interested. I ran it by my girlfriend and she was iffy on the whole thing. The two of them got to know each other a little better, and one night, a soft above the waist threesome happened. Over the next couple of weeks, we got together several times, and things got heavier. It was all fun and games for about a month, but then my girlfriend started having serious reservations. I kind of brushed them off, and me and the other girl tried to reassure her. Now, I never cheated, or played with the other girl alone, though we did talk, text, and work out together quite a bit. The second girl eventually wanted to try a poly relationship, and I was okay with that. One day, my girlfriend came to me with a list of about 25 reasons the threesome made her uncomfortable. I, being a logical male, walked her down the list one by one and explained why she was either wrong to feel that way, she misunderstood something, or a couple that I thought were valid, we could work on. I missed the whole flippin' point: if she came to me with that list, I shouldn't have had to even talk to her, I should have just called it off. A few weeks later, my gf did finally call the whole thing off, and our stress levels skyrocketed. We became colder to each other. I kept talking to the other girl because she was my friend and we went to the same gym, but I never cheated, and likewise, I didn't see a problem with still associating. It was only a few weeks later my gf and I broke up, and this wasn't the only reason (two other major ones were at play, but they might not have been enough on their own) Since then, I have had two other relationships that have involved other partners. My current gf and I have done the MFM threesome thing, and I would love her to try the MFF, but she is not ready and I learned (the hard way) to NEVER PUSH EVEN AN INCH. She knows I want to, and she is willing to try when she is comfortable, but I have learned not to hold my breath, because everything else about her and us is so good, I'm not willing to risk it for that. My point is your (ex) husband might still be in that mindset of what I had. He might feel that you are taking something away from him and it makes him frustrated and angry, when he thinks he can just 'logic' you into his way of thinking. Sometimes guys do that. You said you were with him for years, so I ASSUME he hasn't been a complete ass the whole time. Also, some people get so wrapped up in what I think of as the "new toy syndrome" that everything else feels less important. (Ever get a new car for example and that be all you think of for weeks?) But that feeling almost always fades with time. I was wrong, flat out plain and simple. But it took realizing that I lost someone dear to me to try to get something that couldn't ever work out in the long run to learn that lesson. Am I a bad guy? No. Was I an insensitive jerk? Absolutely. I can't really give great advice on how to approach him about it, because I wasn't able to handle it that way when I was in the situation. I can just say that it changed my whole outlook on swinging. Swinging itself was never the problem, it was the way it was handled. I guess all I can say, if you have any desire to try to work it out, is to try to figure out WHY he wants this so bad he is willing to toss a marriage over it. I'm not saying you are wrong to feel the way you do, but I don't think this situation can be resolved without you being able to understand why he feels the way he does.

I have used the sea sponge and all you have to do is rinse it out and shove it back in. Of course there are "bacteria" but if you have a healthy immune system and no STD or BV, then there is no risk of giving yourself something by having the sponge in there. They also absorb cum, which if you rinse out in a timely manner also does not give you an infection (except if the guy DOES have a STI, but not just from cum + sponge + blood). I used sea sponges exclusively for years and the only problem is that i had a hard time finding them in stores, so i ordered some online. If you buy them as "makeup" sponges they are way less expensive than the ones that are sold as "menstrual" sponges. They do not need to be cut up - they occur in various sizes and you can self-determine when to use the larger ones and when to use the smaller ones, same as you would with tampons or pads. Sponges would typically each last me about 6-8 cycles, using a rotation of 2 sponges per period, approximately. The only issue i experienced is how to discreetly wash it in public rest rooms. What i would do is either use the handicapped stall with a sink, or wad it up in some toilet paper and use a sink with nobody near enough to see the soap turning pink between my hands. Eww, huh? Lol. Oh and yes i did use soap to wash them but it's not necessary every time. Once per day, at least. Anyway, I stopped using sponges when i got my hysterectomy. Yay for hysterectomies! I could probably say more about the sponge but I find typing on the ipod irksome. Had to put this out there though because there seem to be a lot of misconceptions and myths and incorrect assumptions surrounding the use of anything non-mainstream when it comes to feminine hygiene products. If anyone has any questions about the use of the sea sponge for this purpose, I would be happy to try to answer them, either here or in private messages.