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We were away from this board for a while after moving to China temporarily for 2 years because of my husband's job. After settling back, we think it'd be interesting to share our swinging experience in China. It's not a how-to guide, definitely not a political discussion, and not a generalization of the lifestyle in China. Rather it's limited to what we experienced and from talking to other Chinese that we've met. Ok, mostly from my conversations and my perspective since I am the talkative one in our relationship. I should also say hubby and I are both chinese-americans and bilingual. First, a few general observations that surprised me. Most women in China do not shave or trim,at least where we were at. Armpit hair and a full-grown black forest below is the norm. I saw shaved armpits and baldies only among the younger couples usually in their late 20's. I sport brazilian or trimmed as were our swinging partners in the U.S. so that took some getting used to. The second big shocker is that condoms are not commonly used among couples swapping. From my not exactly scientific research, it seems there is a superstitution that condoms decrease the virility of men, and also a belief that because the swinging is between middle class married couples, there are low chances of STDs. A false belief in my book. Condoms are used in threesomes like with a single male. Much more on this later. A word on culture and belief. China is still a very male-dominated society and most successful businesspeople are men. The wives do not work. It's very common for these businessmen to keep a mistress or two and use prostitutes with knowledge of the wives. Most of the women I encountered in the lifestyle said they only got into it because of their husbands. The men like it because they don't use condoms (as opposed to condoms with prostitutes) and the erotic thought of having sex with another man's wife given what a big deal a marriage is, and the women go along because they rather swing with their husbands than have them go off to see mistresses and prostitutes. I don't know if this all makes sense to me. Oh well. On to the fun stuff! Swinging is alive and well and more popular than ever in China, especially the rich and middle class and the younger generation. We met mostly couples in their late 20's to early 40s, and all doing quite well financially by China standard. Although a university professor was jailed for organizing swing parties a few years ago (the news article was posted on this board), most of the Chinese we met believe that the police now has better things to do and they are fine as long as it's kept discreet. It's still not legal though. There are many websites and discussion boards dedicated to meeting other swingers, almost all use this one anonymous private messaging system which assigns each user a number as id and also allows webcam chats. By the way, everything is in Chinese, so for anyone who can't read, write or speak, they are out of luck. We ventured onto one of these websites and after some long discussion between hubby and me, we decided to give it a go carefully. Generally, these sites work the same way: you upload a profile and a photo of both of you holding a paper with the name of the website and your id, contact other folks, webcam for introduction, and set up a place to meet which is usually a hotel or someone's apartment. So apparently, the unspoken rule is that condoms are not used unless it is brought up at the pre-meet. Well we didn't know this and needless to say, the first meeting didn't go so well. We brought up condoms after that and had a lot of rejections as a result. We played some bareback here and I am on birth control, and we decided to try it with the right couple. Other "defaults" (my hubby's term, not mine) are same room full swap and creampies. Other activities are asked and brought up like anal sex and bisexual play. Once we got the cultural kinks out of the way, our experiences were mostly positive. We did this for about 4 months before joining a group, but I'll share that experience in my next post since this is getting a bit long.

Sounds like an absolutely amazing time!! Hubby and I can't wait until the Kids are older so we can escape on a risqué vacay

For vibrators, we went for the highly recommended LELO line. Ended up buying the LYLA 2 remote controlled bullet. The idea was to drive the wife crazy by remote control in public. Specifically, the idea was to pass the remote around to control her at a local meet and greet. The remote's range is very nice. The criticism is that in the mode where the remote tells you what she is feeling, it is not exactly discreet enough in some rooms. We had high hopes for it and the engineering is tops. However, th inserted egg is not comfortable enough. The compromise for us is to customize panties with pouches for it to be against the clitoris, rather than inserted. Most people seem to like it inserted anyway. In the world of dildos, we found the VixSkin ones remarkable. They are dual density, meaning a more rigid core and a spongier soft outer layer. They are astonishingly almost indistinguishable from real erect penises. Warm them up in hot water first, and you won't tell the difference. They also are made from durable, easy to clean (you can even put them in the dishwasher apparently), and safe silicone materials. The best introduction to a larger than average penis is the Bandit. That one has an insertable full 7.25"x5.5", which is considerably larger than most rue male measurements but very pleasurable for any fully aroused woman. Above that, is the difficult to find Johnny model. It inserts 7.5"x5.75". That doesn't sound like a big difference, but it is. The other thing about the Johnny is the curvature. The G-spot stimulation is out of this world. But make sure you are used to a bit of size and are aroused before going with all of this one. The biggest is Outlaw. At 8.75" x 6.25" of insertion, it is extremely filling .... and fulfilling if used right and with a little lube. (She'll provide more lube along the way for sure.) By no means is this a suggested started dildo; it'll scare a woman who has never been with a particularly hung guy before. Go slowly and gently in the deep penetrations. She'll be moaning and writing on the bed as her arousal heightens to accommodate it all, lengthening and stretching. At more modest depths (half or less of the length), fast fucking will produce deep vaginal orgasms, might even tighten so much as to force the dildo out. Even a petite woman, like the wife here, can handle Outlaw as long as she is fully aroused and used well. We have a smaller one, around average size (forget the model name) that is great for anal play while fucking or using one of the larger ones in the sweet spot. Just be VERY careful not to cross contaminate and to throughly wash the toys (as with ALL toys) with soap and water after you're done. (We started by using condoms on them even to make it easier and more realistic of a new lover.) We also have explored fucking machines. Might build one; probably will. Of the commercially available ones, the top of the line seems to be ShockSpot. It is not inexpensive but has the best features and engineering apparently. A manual one that is very interesting is the Monkey Rocker. It is not available right now but new production should be bringing it back to the market soon. Not particularly interested in the Sybian. It had its day but seems to be overmarketed and obsolete given the current offerings on the market. We have shopped around for the vibes and dildos. Our best pricing seems to have come from Amazon and Deep Memories. But shop around and read reviews at all of the sites. There are plenty of high quality toys out there.