Leaderboard

But they are from the same source.... the body. You have emotional sensations to one and not the others. I'm sure other people have the same for spelling or drawing or math or whatever...wishing for what their body doesn't do the same as a friend, or brother or parents. You asked how others reached acceptance....that was my way.

Fantasy and reality in swinging don't often match up. But, what are you going to do in the very possible case of your wife thoroughly enjoying having sex with other men? What if she absolutely loves it? There's a joke I've seen around here that goes something like "You drag your wife by the hair to a swingers club, and then you have to drag her by the hair to get her out". It's sexist. But, there's a kernel of truth to it in many cases. I've often heard it said that women are the driving force in swinging, and there's quite a bit of truth to that. You think your wife's fantasies are off the charts. Quite possible. You think the fantasy won't be anything like the reality. VERY possibly true. But, the reality might be absolutely incredible for her, and she may want to do it again and again and again on into infinity. What do you do then? Look, you've said you don't want to swing. ANYone who is experienced in the lifestyle would not play with your wife if they knew that. It's just asking for trouble. LOTS of very experienced people here are telling you NOT to swing. Yet, you are absolutely insistent that if your wife wants to, you will go ahead and let her have sex with other men, against your will, against your better judgment, against virtually everyone here tell you you're making a mistake. There are two possibilities here. You are either playing everyone on this board for a fool, or you are ready and willing to do something catastrophically stupid. I'm reminded of an extremely long thread here a couple of years back where the guy in question kept posting about their fantasies, and how his wife was going to find a young stud and educate him, etc. The thread lasted something like 30 pages. EVERYone was telling him they were making a mistake. They plowed ahead anyway, and permanently screwed up their marriage, with an eight year old girl the innocent victim. If you're playing us for fools, shame on you. The people on this forum are good folk who take time and energy to help people with honest questions. If you're abusing that good will, the karma is on you. It's not a joke, it's just stupid. If you're not playing us for fools, and this ridiculous "Damn my unwillingness to swing, full speed ahead" scenario is somehow true, the karma is still on you. Your marriage has serious problems. It isn't going to be fixed by letting your wife have sex with other men. There's another saying around here that swinging doesn't help or hurt marriages. It's a magnifying glass. What it finds, it magnifies. If there's real love, real commitment, real trust, it magnifies that. If there are problems, it magnifies those. No matter how I look at this, all I see is...