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Sav for a person who has experienced this it is a very conflicting place to be in. This was/is my issue as well. After our MFM I knew I could have the experience and it not affect my feelings for hubby or make me dwell on other people BUT I still had concerns with him. I honestly don't think it's a trust issue or feelings that I have more self control. I think it boils down to insecurity about my body,my abilities and a low self esteem/image. I think some of us (even though we love and trust our spouses completely and know they aren't going anywhere) have this little nagging voice that says sexually we will become obsolete and that what we have to offer isn't special or wanted as much anymore. It's kind of hard to explain and very hard to convince yourself that it isn't true even though you know it didn't change how you felt about them.

I have a hard time with men who have enjoyed the company of another women but aren't comfortable with a wife enjoying another man. It just doesn't make sense to me and sounds terribly selfish. You say your wife trusts YOU and her BEST FRIEND to not develop feelings and you can't or won't give her the same respect? If a man doesn't respect me enough to give me his complete trust I don't afford him my trust. What's good for one partner has to be equally good for the other for this to work. Although everyone can have moments of jealousy, fear or insecurity unless you can get over yours only problems lie ahead. What you're saying is that YOU have more self control, you are capable of handling sex with others, enjoying it without affection or comparison to your spouse while she is not. Good luck and I hope you think long and hard about the double standard. Mrs Sav

There is a saying : "Even when you have steak at home every night , you can enjoy the occasional pizza " . Your wife / husband/ ect really enjoying a new partner doesn't enherently mean they are "better" or you are lacking , just that is somthing new. You don't have to KNOW in advance that you will enjoy ( whatever) , but you do need to KNOW that even if ( whatever ) turns out to be a flop , the two of you can talk it out , and still be just as strong. Yes selfperceptions matter, and not all of them can be changed. Yes roleplaying , or just talking about (whatever) during sex is a good way testdrive ideas. And fun in its own right.

So I have really got to get my wife a man to have this MMF threesome. We have had really hot wild sex 4 out of the last 6 days. At age 48 she is wetter and more kinky then ever. And these sessions lasts for well over an hour; and after I cum she will masturbate for quite some time or until I can go again. Again we used the dildos last night to act out the fantasy of multiple men fucking my wife and it was off the hook a great time. I have got to find the right couple to see if reality is even better than fantasy. And if it ain't we will move on and at least say we tried it.

I've been married twice and have had more than a few intense, passionate, and long term relationships. Yes it is possible that your wife will meet a man who fucks better than you, who is more suited to her, who could even love her more than you. The thing is she could meet him at any time, anywhere, not just in swinging. It happens. None of my relationships broke up because of swinging and I've swung with most of them. Relationships and marriages generally break up because there are everyday living issues that strain it to the point of breaking. In other words, you weren't really made for each other and it is better to separate and find a more suitable mate. There is a belief among some swingers that love is proof against your mate falling for another. I don't agree - swinging has little to do with it. Those who don't swing fall for others in life. Those who do swing fall for others in life. Swinging isn't the factor. Except that swinging often helps to strengthen communication, highlight areas of possible improvement that allows you work together toward a finer marriage or relationship. Swinging also can deal with and lessen the "I want to fuck others" tensions that affects almost every marriage.