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*Putting flame suit on* OK, we've been a part of this "lifestyle" for only a little while now, but long enough to make some interesting observations, and for those wishing to broaden their horizons by placing an ad on a site lifestyle-devoted site (Swing Lifestyle, for example), here are a few tips, if I may, to make your ad more effective. 1. While I can appreciate female eye candy as much as the next guy, if you're advertising as a COUPLE, it would make sense to actually have pics of the COUPLE and not just various pics of T&A from the woman. This has been eloquently discussed in another thread by our good friends shrevecouple, here is the link if you haven't seen it yet, I'll let this discussion speak for itself... http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/finding-people-online/50146-husbands-absent-pics-swing-lifestyle.html And speaking of pics, my wife and I have elected not to have pics displayed (for now, at least) for various reasons, but if anyone asks for them we'll gladly send them along so you can judge for yourself if we're worth your while. We realize that's a turn off for some and we're probably missing out on some good opportunities otherwise... but that's a burden we've chosen to bear. 2. Spell-check... people, LEARN HOW TO SPELL! A misspelled word here and there can be understandable, but when your ad looks like it was written by a 3rd grader, with such words as "tiresome" when you obviously meant "threesome" (no kidding, there's actually a SLS ad that has that very mistake), I don't know how you can expect anyone to take you the least bit seriously. If you can't spell, or can't differentiate the word "tiresome" and "threesome", find someone who can. 3. In the ad, I personally find it a bit distasteful for those who claim that the guy has a "rock hard 8 inch cock", or the wife has "the sweetest tasting pussy you've ever tasted"... First off if that's actually true, then bully for you... but unless all you're after is a quick hookup and don't care about anything else, then I guess such descriptions may have their place. Sure physical attraction is important, but I've never been much of one for self-aggrandizing in that fashion (if you are, well, more power to ya I guess). 4. For those that like to type in CAPS... IT'S VERY ANNOYING. MAKES IT LOOK LIKE YOU'RE YELLING. THIS IS COMPUTER ETIQUETTE 101 AND FOR SOME REASON SOME PEOPLE STILL DON'T GET IT (or maybe they do and just don't care). Either way, this alone tells me the person has issues, issues that I really don't care to find out what they are. Next please. 5. Lastly, I know that brevity is supposed to be the soul of wit, but you might want to describe yourself and/or your fantasies in more than just 3-4 words. You don't have to write a novel (that's an annoyance too), but at least a brief honest description might go a very long way. So, if this helps anyone, glad to be of service. Or if anyone wants to take this advice and wipe their backside with it, that's your priviledge too.

The OP has not identified whether they are the wife or husband posting. I can imagine a wife posting, wondering what her decision should be. Even though she may be against swinging--as a couple, since she has no interest in it--she may be considering allowing her husband to swing alone. I don't think it unreasonable that a loving wife who realizes that she doesn't have the interest in sex that she used to, may want her husband to still be fulfilled sexually and may be wondering if swinging is a solution. Looking at this possibility, I would advise her to talk with her husband about how they arrived at this point in life. Maybe the differing sexual needs have always existed but only now are you discussing them. There could be physical, mental, or situational issues causing this change. Talk about all of these possibilities. Determine if a compromise can be reached that will satisfy you both. I hope you register and let us know more about you and your spouse. We can only imagine what might be if we have so little to go on. LM

I would give just the same answer to a woman (and probably have, somewhere on the boards). And I certainly have given that answer to a woman who got in touch with us who wanted to swing with us behind her husband's back. I had her deleted and blocked from my msn within a minute of her revealing that particular bit of information- but not before I'd told her exactly what I thought of her.