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Well, I'm not going to sugar coat mine and Davids (NDN) situation. Even though we do go to a swingers club, he doesn't get to play as much as I'm sure he'd like. The main reason being that yes, single men in the lifestyle are a dime a dozen. The good thing however is that the more he's gone to the club, the more people have gotten to know him (and me). They know that we're a totally committed couple, that he knows how the lifestyle works, and that he can be trusted to play with other mens wives without crossing any lines. He's also had the chance to play with a few single women after they were assured (by me directly) that I was ok with it. We've even been invited and gone to a few house parties by other club members that we've become friends with. MN Tom is right. If you choose to make a profile on a swingers site, it will take some work. You'll need to be creative to catch the attention of couples or singles looking for a single male to play with, and yes, you'll definitely want a way to verify that you're married with permission. With David and me that's easy, as I go to the club with him most of the time (as of right now that's the only place I feel comfortable with him playing aside from the house parties we went to). Taking your wife along for the first meeting is always a good idea. That way she can be there in person to give her permission, and any rules, boundaries, concerns, etc. can be laid on the table to be discussed. Just don't get discouraged. It's true, couples and single women have a lot more opportunities in the lifestyle, but there's a place for single (or in your case, married with a hall pass) men too. You just have to work a bit harder to find it.

I feel you are swinging. This is not really hotwife nor open marriage and certainly not cuckolding. The mutuality and complete communication are hallmarks of swinging. I think this is one of the best examples on this board of a couple doing a thorough, caring, and careful job of breaking into swinging. I congratulate you two. I disagree with other poster's upset over the man being a co-worker. You two were very careful in that regard, and her need for someone she trusts trumps the risk of him being a limited contact co-worker. I hope that you understand (and I trust with your background you do) that many posting here find it difficult to step out of their own personal experience and concepts, and see that you are in your own unique situation which is not the same as theirs. The co-worker polemics are one case in point. Whether you are swinging or not is another. I applaud the care and consideration you've shown for each other and for those who have responded to you here. You two are welcome members here and I look forward to your adventures as well as your input to any threads that interest you.