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Is she wearing a sign that says "Unicorn looking" or "I am bi" or better still "I eat pussy". If so it would be real easy to walk up and start a conversation. You know you already have something in common. Seriously you approach a single person male or female just like you would at any other time. With the intent to introduce yourself, start a conversation, and maybe a friendship. The lifestyle issues will come up soon enough. If she lives the lifestyle, or is interested,or curious she will be eager to chat about it. If it ain't her thing, she will run like you threw water on her. Shy person or not, most everyone is eager to talk about what is on their mind. In a room full of other swingers, talking, dancing, kissing ,etc. Everyone sorta has the same mindset. Hell the energy in the room alone should help spark any conversation with anyone.

I have a friend who may be considered a unicorn (she's been into swinging for, I believe, about 10 years). She's into bdsm and sm and has a master, although I'm not sure for how long. Now the fact that she has a master, I'm unsure if that wouldn't make her a unicorn Anyway, I digress. I know that if someone approached her master and asked if they could play with her and he says it ok, then she'll be fine with it. She's a pretty approachable person, and even if she ends up not being interested; she'll give people a chance and talk to them, even flirt with them. She'll let them know, politely, if she's not interested, but if she is interested, she'll flirt a lot.