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I used to come on here quite often...but haven't been around in quite a while. Perhaps I should do another intro, it's been that long. I really loved these forums..so when scanning through, was drawn to this thread, b/c I am a single bi woman...and I've often been frustrated with some of what I feel could be called "myths" about bi-sexuality. I started reading everyone's responses, and heartily agree with a lot, but still need to finish, I wanted to write a quick reply while my mind was still fresh with my own thoughts. There does seem to be a double standard in some ways. I'll agree with that. One other thing that bothers me, is that if/when I tell someone I am bi-sexual, there is often a fear there....usually more if I'm becoming involved or might be with someone...the fear/belief that many seem to have, is that solely due to the fact that I'm bi-sexual, it would mean that I couldn't be monogamous, even if I wanted to. In other words, that part of "my nature" would be that I could never be satisfied with just one...if I wanted to, that it would always end up in cheating with the other sex. To me, that's absurd, and I was able to be with just one guy for quite some time...up until he died suddenly three years ago....I'm only now feeling ready to be in any "scene". The thing was he just couldn't swing, and it would have hurt him had I "done my own thing"...and love being love it was easy for me to stay faithful. Being bi-sexual to me means, for just one thing, that I have the potential to fall in love with a man or a woman. So, long and short of it to me would be out of love and respect for any potential partner, I wouldn't cheat, or do things on the sly, even if my partner was a "freak like me"...lol

Same for me. Along with the fact that the people who should be the least judgmental were actually the most. So, what you are asking is...is non-monogamy in our nature? Right? I have to say that yes, it certainly can be. Maybe even is period. I do find it "natural" to find others attractive. Anyone who claims that they never find someone else other than their SO attractive is either lying or way to obsessed with the SO. What you do with that attraction is the point. Swinging, open marriages and polyamory are ways of admitting this attraction and dealing with it ethically. I also find it "natural" to love many people. And most agree with that. They just limit romantic love to one person. And, just as above, if you find you love someone else, it is what you do with that love that matters.But I wonder at times how many people would still feel that loving more than one was the only way if they knew they were free to love more than one person at a time. Now, I have not always believed some of this. Once I left the church and started thinking for myself some things changed. Swinging wasn't hard to do really. After all, I was sharing this with my husband. And I know sex doesn't have to include love. Knew that even as a Sunday school teacher and the wife of a deacon. Now, sharing my husband with someone else emotionally wasn't easy. Loving one person at a time in much more ingrained by society I think. And you have much more of yourself invested in the process of love than just a physical act. You are vulnerable in many ways here. Through my journey since 2005, through swinging and polyamory, I've learned that people are capable of more than the world will let them know they are. Can everyone get past what they have been taught even if they suddenly believed all this was in their nature? No. Absolutely not. Some won't be able to stand up to the work of relearning and some just will not want to. I was very happy in my marriage of 20 years. I have a different life now in many ways. But I am still happy in my marriage of 25 years. And if it came down to it, I could still be happy with just Gator in my life...sexually and romantically. It's all in the depth of my love for him and what we have come through in this world together. While I could be happy in a monogamous relationship with Gator again, I will never again believe that is the only way. Hmmm....so, I guess all that boils down to it depends on what you do with it. I think a lot of things can be in our nature. Whether good or bad. Certainly many bad things are done by people in the world. What you do with things you feel is the answer. No hurting others seems to be the answer. Vol