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You had an agreement of boundaries. She crossed them. Drunk is no excuse, even if plausible, it's still not acceptable. How about some more information on what she said when you discussed it? Was she sorry? apologetic? Have you talked about where your boundaries are today and whether or not you both are willing to change those boundaries? Are you both at the point where full swap is ok? It doesn't matter that she was "drunk". She crossed the boundary that you both set. And no, that's absolutely not ok, but as a couple you will have to work through this. If she knows that you are "disgusted" or "angry", she may not be able to truly open up to you about this. If you are a couple in love, regardless of buying a home, than talk like the couple that you are. Yes, she crossed the line, and you have every absolute right to be pissed and hurt. Did you notice her stumbling around, so drunk that she couldn't think for herself? You two need to have some serious discussions on this. I like to drink, but I am never so out of control that I cross a major boundary like that! And Mr NC would be pissed if he were in your shoes. Time for a talk: No drinking, no name-calling, no anger, no judgements. Talk it out, both of you. Why did she do it? How did she feel afterward? What now? And I would also recommend no visits to the club, or meeting up with anyone within the lifestyle, until you two work through and past this, and discuss boundaries again.