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I have but one more post for this thread. In my opinion, what y'all have done so far and what y'all propose for the future has little to do with swinging. (I won't say it has not been interesting.) Many negatives, not the least of which is a possibility of gunfire and potential orphans, have been offered. Yet the thread has gone on far longer than most. I guess that just proves the lure of discussing a subject not usually a concern of swingers. Imagine if you will, Loki, the following worst-case scenario: There is a Colt .45 round lodged about mid-way in your spine. Your playmate lies lifeless under you, her head having been exploded by a hollow-point. You're paralyzed. You are aware that the asshole is cocking the revolver for a third time. Is he intending the bullet for his own head or yours? For a brief second you think of your wife and kids and what may have possessed you to arrive at this point in your life. Mr. Alura

Hay I just found out that we can rate these posts. Come on people start doing some rating.

I'm proud of US history as a whole, I salute the flag, but I'm not proud of everything done in US history by the government. I'm sure the same can apply to the confederate flag by thoughtful individuals who can realize that there was more to the confederacy then slavery, and that the civil war was not a war to free the slaves at its core. I'm not from the south, the confederate flag has no symbolic power over me, and yes a lot of idiots use it as a emblem for their racism, but that does not mean all who it holds meaning to, do so out of malicious intent.

It seems you will justify to do whatever you want to do. We give advice for one thing you agree and then try to justify it another way. And the story keeps going and going and going..... If I heard this conversation in person, I would have walked away from it.

Same reason why they're rude on the highway, or at the grocery store, or at work.... I blame it on poor social training. Seriously, they're telling you what you need to know. I'm all for owning up to who you are from the very start. If you're an asshole or a bitch, please let me know up front. So, I don't see anything wrong with people not sugar-coating themselves online. Sure as hell saves some time... Pepper

Just some common courtesy will go a long way with people. Calling people who is looking at your profile fatties is not a good first impression of the way you think. All that does is show your superficial mentality. One profile on another site said that they don’t want any black race to applied, but they did not say it so nice, they had another word for the black race. This lifestyle is made up of many people, race, shapes and sexual preference. No matter what, there is no reason to be that way in the profiles. Thank god that they are so intelligent that they have no ideal that they are telling us how much that they are lacking in intelligence. It's like they are warning us on how much of an bass sole they really are.

I was going to ask Mr. Lott for his so called trick, until he replied that it is too deep to get into now. Gimme a break! I really think it is the bacon trick.

The whole cuddling/kissing/gestures thing... I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. I did some thinking about this last night as I was cuddled/kissed/stroked by a very nice man, while my husband was similarly engaged on the other side of the room. I do not see sex as just the mechanics of the intersection of genitals. It's a package deal. If I'm giving pleasure to a man, I sort of expect a response, like a stroke on the cheek. (like I got last night, as a matter of fact, and appreciated very much). It's an acknowledgment that I'm more than just some sort of suction machine, a way of communicating during that moment. It's just an extension of the intimacy of the sexual act for me. And sex IS intimate. Most people in this world, let's face it, would consider the sex itself as too intimate to share with anyone but a partner. As for the cuddling, last night he and I finished up sooner than the other two. What did we do? Settled back together and cuddled and kissed and watched. Once again, I see the cuddle in the afterglow as a part of the whole sexual act. I have a couple of partners who, after a good session in a private room at a house party, I can curl up with and talk about gardening or our kids with. It doesn't make cuddling my husband any less special, any more than the intercourse with the other man last night makes intercourse with my husband any less special. We've had experiences with couples who, as soon as the last person cums, are up and about to get drinks or food or get dressed and leave. Works for them, that's ok, but not for us. And kissing!! We soft-swapped a couple of times with a couple that had no kissing between opposite sex non-partners, although she and I could kiss all we wanted (and did). Now, both the hubster and me are big kissing fans, and those experiences were enough to make a No Kissing rule a deal-breaker for us. Once again, it's just a personal preference of ours. If other people want to play that way, more power to them, but we're not going to be compatible. We've realized more and more in our year of swinging (actually, today is our 11-month anniversary!! Yay!!) that we CAN pick and choose who we are most comfortable with in terms of limitations and expectations, and still find lots of potential partners. We steer away from people with lots of rules like those above, because if we have to keep worrying if we're offending the other people with what we're comfortable doing (and who discusses ahead of time, "Don't you dare stroke my cheek when I'm giving you head"?), we won't be able to let go and live in the moment, which is what I really enjoy being able to do. And so far, we've been very very lucky, met lots of wonderful people who have not just been one-nighters, and had some really awesome sex. AND we come home together and have a hot time together. Life is good, sex is fun, let's just enjoy ourselves.