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Interesting thread. I worked in immunology for 15 years and was in the field back when (HTLVIII) HIV came out. The stats that are given are general stats and have nearly no relevance to a specific person or situation. If you really want to evaluate your risk you have to consider your own situation. I will use mine to demonstrate the point. I am male and the risk of contracting HIV from a single act of intercourse with an HIV positive female is less than 1%. The number of Americans with HIV is about 1 million (known positive around 500k) which is about 1/3 of a percent out of total population. The percent out of that total between 35 and 55 (my target age group) that have HIV is 25%. This equals 25% of 1/3 of a percent which is about 1/12 of a percent. This means that 1/12 of 1% of the total population is positive that I can possibly sexually interact with. Now even if I do run into the HIV positive person I only have a 1% risk as stated above. So for an act of sex, generally, it's 1% of 1/12 of 1% risk out of your population group. Now Austin has 5000 HIV positive out of 1.3 million people. So my starting number is around the same as the national average of 1/3 of a percent. If you city has less or more you can recalculate. Denver has about a 1/6 of a percent starting point, which is better than Austin. Hope this helps everyone.

The words "sanctity of marriage" in response to the idea of swinging imply, to me, that your wife holds a core belief, probably ingrained by religion, which will supersede any fantasy you throw out. As long as your wife believes that there is something wrong with sex outside of marriage, it probably won't happen. You cannot force a spiritual evolution. I agree with one of the previous writers that the only position you can work from is one of respecting her stance. You don't have to agree, but you must respect. If you can fully respect her and the boundaries that you began your marriage with, then she may get to the point where she feels comfortable enough to consider playing outside of the box, or she may not. If you wish to keep your marriage intact, then you must settle for that. On a side note, if your wife has no interest in swinging, why are you browsing swinger sites? Aren't you sabotaging yourself by focusing on something you can't have?