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Many of you are swingers by hobby. Not as your lifestyle. Is a hobby really worth the rewards that you perceive to receive? There are two main factors that could change your life forever. 1. Catching something that could kill you and your spouse! The chances of catching something are slim but it can happen. We have been in this Lifestyle as full on swingers for about thirty years. I can count the number of times we have used condoms on one hand and we have never caught anything at all. Many of you are going to go nuts about the fact that we are not protecting our self the way you feel we should but that is our choice. Does not mean it won’t happen someday. This is our lifestyle, not a hobby with us and we lead it the way we want to lead it. The way that works for us and the people we are involved with. Condoms are not going to always protect you. You can exchange partners one time and end up with a lifelong disease that cannot be cured or even worse, it could kill you. Your family will know at that point. Chances are your family and friends will know about your choices if that happens. 2. You are going to be found out. Anyone that has spent many years in this Lifestyle is found out. You can hide behind blurred pictures, block free members on web sites, only go to clubs hundreds of miles from your home but someday, someone you know is going to see you. They may or may not out you. Depends on why they are looking in the first place. Members of the press are PAID members on many of the bigger Swingers Web sites. Don’t kid yourself; they will pay the fee to be there. Many of them are swingers and some of them keep memberships up looking for good stories to write. I know, I have met some of them over the years. There is also many members of the press that show up for Meet and greets, go to conventions and to parties all over the country. There are companies out there that employers hire to find out about people on the Internet. These companies are paid members of most all major Swingers Web Sites. I know about these because companies I deal with have used them to find out about their own employees. There are also people in this lifestyle that get pissed off and start trouble. You never know who they might be. You party with them this weekend, don’t want to party with them next weekend and the next thing you know your picture and story is posted on some web site on the World Wide Web! It happens. What is going to happen to your job, your kids and parents when the world finds out that you are exchanging partners for sex once in awhile? Is the little league going to kick you and your kid out of the game? Is this something you are prepared to deal with? Can you stand up for what you believe in or is this something you just hope does not ever happen to you? I bring this up because this “Lifestyle” has changed so much over the years. Society is not going to accept that fact that we have sex with other people for the fun of it and that it is not damaging our relationships. We can hope for them to accept us but it just is not going to happen. Many people come here and look into this lifestyle for a new thrill, a new hobby. Golf just is not doing it for them anymore and they are looking for something else. Many feel they must stay in the closet to keep the world for attacking them or having to deal with the consequences of what will happen to their life when it comes out they are having sex with many other people other than their spouse. I know, your sex life is no one’s business but your own but you have made it others business as soon as you contact anyone on a web site or step foot into a Swingers club. You are opening the door for someone to put your picture on T.V. or the front page of a news paper. Sex stories sell and make for good news in today’s world. We are the proud parents of six kids, eight grandkids and we have never been in the closet and it has not affected out family or our jobs when we had them. Why, because we have always been open and honest about our LIFESTYLE and not treated this as a part time hobby. We have nothing to hide so no one can use it against us. You have to do what works for you. I am not saying our Lifestyle if for everyone just as swinging is not for most. You need to really think, is this part time hobby of yours worth the risks involved in it?

LOL. Your post cracked me up. LOL. The internet is a delicious place to meet people. LOL. And the friends we meet on the internet sometimes overuse abbreviations. LOL. I hope I don't get flamed for this. LOL. But you are right the internet does sometimes seem to be delirious. LOL. John (LOL)

Teresa is sexy when she dances alone. At times she gets into a zone when dancing and the rest of the world drops away, just her and the music and she moves.. oh god, she moves like she is making love with an invisible lover. Once at a social the crowd had gone and all that remained was another couple, the DJ and I. We were talking, but the talk just faded away when she began to dance and we were all speechless until the end of the song. A picture I will treasure forever. Ted

This is a 2 cent version--I'd consider seeking some familial counseling--maybe with someone new. I feel for you... everyone takes things differently. I know my parents swung with at least one other couple, and my mom had a lot of extra-marital sex... I never walked in on them, but I could have. They didn't particularly try to hide it. My friend's parents swung downstairs after all the kids went upstairs to bed. I was spending the night, and we snuck down and watched them, and crept back up to bed without getting caught. (We didn't actually see them fucking, but they were kissing and fondling with the neighbor couple. Another friend I had had parents who were outta-the-closet swingers; my friend and his two sisters were well aware of what was happening. Our parents, at the time, were all WWII vets, had seen a lot, done a lot, and fucked a lot while overseas. They were made of a little bit harder stuff than our generation. While they tried to be discreet--for the kid's sakes, they really didn't give a flying frick to whether or not we knew their sex lives or whether or not we approved of it. We were the kids; they provided for us; loved us the best they could, and, as my mom used to say, hoped we stayed out of jail til we were 21. To be honest, I don't know that these parental swinging or non-marital events had that much drastic affect on any of us. I believe we all just kind of took it as normal because that's what we were used to. And our parents expected us to act normally and civilized. As far as you guys not being someone he could respect??? That sounds a lot more like him being a 16 year old than anything else. Explain to him you could give him a million different things about yourself that he couldn't respect. Have you ever told him why you swing? How it helps you enjoy each other more--maybe the variety of menu from day-to-day analogy. (Maybe, or maybe not, play the immature/inexperienced card--you don't have enough life experience. What if someday you woke up and realized we were right??) All of this is to say, I do not like the fact that your son threatens you. It sounds like he's deeply unhappy. Explain that he, himself, has done, and will do things that make you unhappy and/or mad, but you still love him regardless. Also, point out that you, too, are human. You've done things in the past that made him mad or unhappy, and he might as well face it, he can expect that in the future. But that doesn't mean you love him any less. That sometimes you just have to bite the bullet, and move on instead of making an issue about it. Explain that your marriage is fine and that he needs to accept that. End of the story. Then, maybe ignore him a little--as in giving him a little space to work out what the reality is. As my mom would have said, "Let him put that in his pipe and smoke it." If he continues to threaten you, just raise one eyebrow and say, "Some cultures would regard you to be a man, now, son. So you just go on and do what you gotta do." If he starts telling people, so be it. (Scandal lasts from 2 to 6 months; after that, though the fact remains the same, everyone just kind of gets bored gossiping over it and just moves on.) Bottom line, if your son did tell someone, you really could weather it. Not fun, but possible. (Not to minimize it, but if you watch the growth of SLS in your area, swinging really is coming out of the closet in an exponential way.) Bottom line, let him know you love him and never let him see you flinch. And again, it sounds far more like 16 year old behavior than "caught-my-parent's-swinging" behavior. Also, in case I totally missed the boat, and did nothing but lay on a crock on your painful situation, (which I am quite capable of doing) you might check out the familial counseling route). Best of luck and peace