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That has occurred to me also. I see three possibilities: The most unlikely is a troll. Most trolls are not original enough to post very different stories. There have been a few here who have been called out for repeating the same story over the course of time or plagiarizing a reddit post. The second and more likely is that a type of post prompts someone else to post a similar event from their own life. The third , which feeds off the second is that there is a whole new group , as you posit. They are going through the newbie gauntlet as most of us have. They post the same questions that we had. Then others post their questions. Serving this third grouping is ,as I see it, one of the primary reasons for this list to exist.

Sometimes I think your posts are a little harsh, but I do think you're correct on this one. We can never really know what somebody's story is behind-the-scenes on an internet forum. Sometimes "what to do" posts - in all genres, not just swinging - are more like cries for help. Some other times, the person writing simply wants to tell a version of the story where they seem the most sympathetic, without their spouse around to tell a different version. However, all of these elements are in the story. The communication difficulties between them seem real. One of the little hurdles we had to negotiate the first time we started doing regular FMF was the reality of male physiology. Mrs. E. tends to have an orgasm whenever a man finishes inside her. It's the anticipation of the ejaculation that gets her excited and then she usually climaxes again when the male does. She also almost never orgasms from oral or fingering, and can turn into Veruca Salt if she gets penetrated but doesn't get off. Metaphorically stamping her feet, "don't care how, I want it now." There were a couple of sessions where she got frustrated because she didn't get that release when I finished with the other woman. There was a little mental rewiring that went on to think of my hard-ons with an abundance mentality: wait a couple hours, we'll go again. It doesn't have to be "THE" one official session, right now. It's the same with failing to achieve an erection. Relaxing, recognizing that there will be other sessions, etc., can take some of the performance anxiety off. So can 5mg of tadalafil, or if you're really worried, 5mg the night before and 5mg the morning of. What I can't parse out is how much OP really wants to get over it, versus this being a coded way of saying he really doesn't think he likes this. Unrelated, but I'm also just going to put it out there that in recent months, there seems to be a much higher volume of posts in which people describe a bad swinging experience with troubled dynamics underneath. I've posted here for a very long time and while people sometimes used to write about bad experiences, this particular fact pattern used to come up once a season, if that, and is now coming up like clockwork from new accounts. Maybe there's a new wave of people trying swinging post-pandemic, I'm not leveling an accusation here, it's just very odd.

Imagine if this story was in reverse, a man takes his wife who is barely on board to a group of swingers then he pairs off with one of the girls and leaves his wife to fend for herself. He has a great time and she’s struggling with watching her husband have sex with another woman. Now he wants to quickly do it again and she’s freaked out and not ready…………..would you all tell her to take a pill or get some lube? Please people For swinging to work both people have to be looking out for the other….especially their first time.

Yes, get the pill, it’s a great confidence booster. Approach each encounter with an open mind, a smile, and no expectation that anything specific will happen or not happen. As with most activities, the third time is usually the charm.

A couple of thoughts: - Our first time out after we decided to try was a six-way. We limited it to soft swapping that night, so not quite the same situation, but I don't think it's that crazy of a start. - As others have said, your situation is not uncommon. - I see some issues in communication here, and also maybe some impatience from your wife. I can't tell if the issue is that you're genuinely being too hard on yourself and she's sick of hearing you beat yourself up, or if she's just not respecting that you are feeling a little bad, but this is something to untangle for yourself so you can engage more clearly.

I have licked her in 69 while a guy was inside her, and yes she does cum. But yeah that's not the question. It's not that she has any issues having a clit based stimulated orgasm. Just would be great to experience the PIV orgasms we see so many others having at the club.

Different strokes with different folks. Depends on why where and who we are with. If we meet a random man alone I will start by oral on him and if he reciprocates I won’t stop unless he does. Some men won’t do oral and I understand they don’t know me. Most men want doggy which is fine with me as I will take Michael in my mouth so he is included. If the man doesn’t take control and he is fit and good looking I will get on top. On these random meetings I hardly find anyone wanting missionary but some do. My favorite position is the one my partner wants and can do best. If he only wants oral and I don’t orgasm it’s fine, I will afterwards. I can also use my hand at the same time. I don’t have a problem with orgasms in any position.

My wife is very popular in the swinging and vanilla world. She is pretty and 4’10.” We have decelerated our swinging activities since the pandemic. Yesterday, we were at a totally vanilla pickleball exhibition. I was sitting down and my wife was leaning over the fence, totally conservatively dressed. One of the pros playing said something flirtatious to her. Colt .45, works every time.

Isn’t that the truth. After years of not thinking about positions with things just happening without a predetermined position we kept our sex life interesting for us. At times side by side, other times scissor with hugging, sure we did doggie but even that changed with him on his knees or him standing at the edge of the bed. Guess over the years we tried everything. New people and everybody does it a little different and that is part of the excitement. I would never thought I could have sex with multiple partners at the same time. Sex with another woman opens even more positions. Every partner is different, different rhythm, different angle, for me different feeling. When I’m in a position that feels good at that moment it’s my favorite. At the moment when a woman first did oral on me I thought I was in heaven. It’s all mental at the time.

Here is a good explanation concerning orgasms in a woman. https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/difference-between-clitoral-and-vaginal-orgasm/

We had many times where one of us had a great experience and the other one had a bad experience. It’s part of swinging. You have to chalk it up to experience. You’ll appreciate the good partners better.

That is a very interesting suggestion. I'll have to talk to the wife about that one. Unfortunately we live in a PAINFULLY small community, so the pool of known swingers is low, not impossible, but low. That actually leads me to a follow up question. My wife and i naively did not consider the scenario where one of us would have a positive experience and the other wouldn't and how we would address it. What do you do when couples' experiences vary so drastically?

I'll make it very clear, i do not blame my wife for anything, she did nothing wrong. I hold a bit of envy/ resentment towards her, but those are childish emotions for invalid reasons that I'm trying to work through - I'm still human. We both communicated concerns and nervousness in the beginning. She was definitely more in the side of nervous excitement, whereas i was nervous anxiety. I believe during the initial flirting phase i had my first mini panic attack one morning thinking about it. Of course i told my wife, she was quite concerned for me. I took some time to think it through and eventually regained my composure. My wife and i do communicate everything we feel during this venture, but i think we BOTH have to work on how we REACT to the bad and ugly feelings. Reactions have not been... constructive, but we're working on it. My logical brain knows and understands what everyone is saying, it's just the "doing it and accepting it" part that I'm working on. I'm generally very confident and level headed, so these new emotions that don't fall in line with what I'm used to is a challenge. "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth" - Mike Tyson lol Thanks for the food for thought! Definitely something for me to consider.

You're right, i do have a downfall need for validation. It's a confidence boost to know that your partner is enjoying what you're doing, I'm sure this is common throughout any swinging encounter where all playmates care about helping each other have a good time. As i stated in my initial post, the other women were quite reserved in comparison to my wife's reactions, so I'm not sure if they enjoyed my alternate activities. Even during initial flirting stages, i couldn't get a sense that they desired me, which might have contributed to my nerves and lack of confidence going in to the experience. Thanks for the input and good for thought!

This is when I will come, when someone is licking me while I am having fun doggie. THough, I'll be honest, I am not really sucking him when that is going on, just enjoying myself.

If this was a woman’s post everyone would say you should have gone at the slowest persons pace but as a man …….he’s a grown man able to say no? bull shit! He was clearly pressured into going way to fast.

I use Tadalafil/Cialis even though I can still maintain good wood. I call it an effortless boner. You know, when you're pounding your girl hard, she's getting off so you can't stop but you're starting to sweat and your boner is flagging? (I just turned 62) Even a quarter of a tablet keeps the cock hard, the wind power has to come from staying in shape, but at least my cock stays hard. I have never taken a whole 20 mg tab. I think it would help you in a six way situation. Just the thought makes me hard!

My biggest suggestion is to use ED medication before a romp. Rest assured that 99% of men in swinging have had erection problems.

Well, both of us don't always cum when we fool around. Sometimes, she will help me play with myself with anything from oral to just stroking an arm lovingly. Sometimes, there is a lot of groping through the day, that just makes us feel good. Is that sex? It is foreplay for sure. We consider all foreplay sex. So that might be seconds of a dick rubbing on a butt at the sink. It might be a quick flash of tits, or pants pulled down to show an ass. It might be her saying "I see you waggling him over there" or some happy time with her holding my balls. In terms of "sex" where we are doing the whole penis in vagina thing, we do that a couple times a week or so. Never really timed it from hitting the bed until we are done so not sure how many hours that takes up. We enjoy it and it is fun, and it is somewhere on the spectrum of intimacy that we engage in. This is all separate from play with others. That tends to be more time spent engaged as it were, because there is a set time.

Petra, your personal perspective on doggy makes sense to me. That said, several women with whom I’ve had more than casual relationships have said doggy was a favored (or even their favorite) position for intercourse. It’s probably significant that most (all? Hard to recall because in some cases it was decades ago) were able to reach orgasm without direct stimulation of their clit. For me, doggy is NOT just for when I’m looking for a cunt to drop a load of jizz in. I enjoy doggy because it affords me the opportunity to gaze at my partner’s shoulders and torso and the flare of her waist into her hips. And if she turns her head and I can see some of her face, I enjoy that. Further, if I turn my gaze directly down I can watch the moving intersection of my cock and her vagina. (And if it’s bareback, when I withdraw I can watch the semen dripping out, which I find enjoyable.)

How you've elaborated on this is great. It does sound like he's being supportive and not pushy. That is very important! I think if I were in your shoes it still might bother me some to have this hanging over my head, that if I don't like it, it's over with him. But, you've known from the beginning this is what he wants. There's three possible outcomes; (a) you don't try at all and break up, (b) you try, don't like it, and break up, or (c) try, love it, and say together. I think what he's suggesting for a pathway forward offers a nice, slow approach to get you more comfortable and feeling less insecure. What he is saying about him coming home with you is important. It's the love between you that is important to him. Let's say you played with another couple where the woman was 7 of 9 from Star Trek Voyager (look her up if you're not familiar), made him have incredible orgasms over and over again, and was basically perfect in every respect. Perhaps cause for insecurity, yes? He's saying it's not; he's coming home with you. My wife has played with men that are more wealthy than we are, are better looking (she disagrees), and have cocks larger than mine. She always comes home to me. I'm not jealous about it. Contrast; when I was 20, it really upset me that my then girlfriend was going to see a male gynecologist. It actually made me jealous. The difference is the love and devotion my wife and I have for each other. It feels alien to want to have sex with someone else when you're in love with your partner. Society screams inside your head that this isn't the way it's supposed to be. With patience, love, and understanding and the slow approach your boyfriend is suggesting, I think you will come to see that it isn't cause for insecurity. As I mentioned before, swinging isn't for everybody. But, for those for whom it is, it is incredibly rewarding. If it wasn't, swinging wouldn't exist. If swinging destroyed relationships, this forum wouldn't exist. Time and time again we see couples getting into swinging who post here and talk about the positive impacts it has had on their relationships. It seems counter-intuitive; how can having sex with others uplift a relationship? Yet, it does. There was a survey that I saw many years ago regarding swinging. It wasn't scientific, so take it with a grain of salt. But, 70% of respondents indicated that swinging had actively improved their relationships, while only 2% reported a negative impact. One other thing; if you do decide to go down this path, don't judge everything based on a single interaction. Swinging is in some ways no different than vanilla dating. You're going to meet some people that just don't work for you. My wife and I agreed before we took the plunge that we'd try it a few times before we made any decision to stop doing it. Good thing; the third time was the charm for my wife. She couldn't get enough sex with the guy, and had an incredible time. After that, she was hooked. You might have a different experience, but judging it all based on a single encounter might not give you the answers you need (as opposed to want).

Everyone sells their body. It most likely isn’t sex they are selling even if someone is using you to make money or to have work done in return for money or some other reward. How you use your body is your choice, only others morality say what is right or wrong. It’s called work as long as nobody is hurt. Honey has worked her whole life. While in college she worked after classes in jobs many others in school take. I won’t out her employer who asked her to do extra work. What she did was done willingly and not pressured to do as she was old enough to do it too. Her employer is a man who is married, his wife having an illness that kept her from having sex. The way it was explained to me he wouldn’t physically cheat on his wife, he found his outlet watching others have sex. I wasn’t originally involved when he asked Honey if he could watch her have sex with her boyfriend. He offered to pay for a hotel room and food for her which they could use after he left. Strange as it was they agreed. The story is she got extra at the end of the week. Honey was also a cheerleader at the university and popular. This employer was very connected and offered to get her very good looking people to be with if he could watch, picking up the costs and rewarding her. I ended up being one of the ones he set her up with. I got to fuck a great looking cheerleader as long as he could watch. It cost me nothing. I soon found out she would be with another cheerleader, all the time being watched only. Honey and I got closer as friends and started to date which is when I got asked to watch and participate more. To answer the question Honey didn’t get paid to have sex, she got paid to put on a show. Her partners didn’t pay, she didn’t collect money from them. We say she is a performer for an audience of one. All this time she never had sex with her employer as he stayed faithful to his ill wife to the day she died.

First of all it is really no one’s business what we choose to do with our sex life or how we choose to live in our relationship! We don’t tell people we know what we do and don’t advertise it openly to everyone, but if they happen to find out so be it. We don’t really care about being judged for how we live our lives. As long as we are not hurting anyone else we will do what we want when we want, because we can. That goes for everything in our lives not just swinging. We are not ashamed of who we are and have no reason to be. If someone wants to try and tell us what we are doing is morally wrong and judge us we will tell them it is none of their business, it has no effect on their life and they can go fuck themselves if it bothers them. Don’t really care who they are. We don’t believe in religion, but you won’t see us telling people they are wrong if they believe in it and the restrains that’s come with it. We have zero tolerance for people that can not accept people for who they are and believe that their way is the only way and have no want to associate with them at all.

We don't advertise it but a number of people know through our association with our best friends and that doesn't bother us. I'm sure our boys have known for years and our best friends' son and daughter have also known for years. Our kids grew up with their kids and the kids were sometimes sleeping upstairs when we played. My wife and I have been nudists since 1973 and we have been open about it. My wife and I have both modeled for nude figure drawing and photography classes. I have also posted fine art nude pictures of us on fine art websites.

Many years ago I had a friend in college, a very good friend, who always had money. I had taken jobs at minimum wage and some waitressing. I still had to ask my parents for money. My friend had enough that she would buy the pizza and sometimes beer. I found out she worked at a gentleman’s club. She told me it was easy money and could make a thousand on a good night. No real physical contact just dances. When I asked if she thought I could try it she admitted that guys touched and she would jerk guys off in the VIP room. Then she said there is even more money if you went to the motel in the back. She said not every girl does that. I finally gave in and tried it. The men were mostly sleeze bags. You would dance and try to get lap dances and then VIP room guys. Guys grab you and you would grind on them. Even the nice ones were nasty. I never went back.

Well the wife and I were expecting to have a friend over tonight but as things happen an issue came up where he could not make it this evening but will be here on Monday. In the mean time her and I have been talking about what she wants to see happen and as it turns out it's mainly guy on guy then guy on girl on guy for her. She has even expressed that she wants to record the night with pics and videos so she can play with herself afterwards while watching whatever she gets on camera. Myself, it's only the third time with me being with a guy and I cannot wait. Not necessarily for him and I to get it on but knowing that this is driving her up the wall to see it happen. I've got weak knees just thinking about it. I love her dearly and cannot wait for this day. Stay tuned folks.

Assuming you don't mean masturbate to orgasm, I do it for a few minutes morning and night about 4 or 5 days a week. Great way to wake up and to relax before going to sleep. The other two or three days we have intercourse. Interestingly, my wife does not like to masturbate herself, but I do it for her (to orgasm)as part of foreplay. I guess that counts as (mutual) masturbation. Anyway, it's a manual orgasm. There was a time when she could not have intercourse, so we did the mutual masturbation to climax at least twice a week. At first, it was OK, but I was really glad to get past that and get back to intercourse. I was actually screwing another woman during that time, but it was never as satisfying as making love to my wife. No surprise there after 45 years of sexual bliss.

WeUse, You really know how to bring a thread down! That was depressing! I think I need to go masturbate now to cheer myself up.

Clit orgasm for her is a given. We have done 69 with me licking her while she has a guy from the back. We both enjoy this, Inget a real close up show, while she has all the buttons pressed. Now you mentioned cowgirl, very often when we have seen a girl climax from pen, it's when she is riding cowgirl and with a bit of slow grinding down. So I always thought it's still clit based orgasm.