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Welcome, 3622maw. It's always great to see a new member jump in and start new threads, however, in your case I am very worried for you, your wife, and the relationship. I don't know if she's met this older man yet or if it is strictly from the internet but I would definitely recommend that she not contact him any further for safety reasons. If she is truly interested in BDSM, there is a much safer way to go about it and with you involved and not go behind you back about it. Which brings me to the second troubling part of your situation: she hasn't been truthful to you about what she has been doing. I know it can be difficult to be honest with others about our fantasies when we're afraid it might frighten them or result in negative judgments toward us but you two are married. It's quite sad actually when two people who are married to each other can't be open and honest about each other's fantasies and desires without feeling shameful about it...and a lot of marriages are like that, unfortunately. When we were finally able to do that, it brought a new closeness and intimacy between us knowing that this one wall we had put up between us had come down. I hope that it comes down for you and Mrs. 3622maw. Start talking about each others fantasies and consider the risks and concerns you each have about possibly fulfilling them...together. See this as a journey for both of you to take together, not alone. My third concern is her chatting with this other man in secret. The biggest question your wife needs to ask herself is if she felt guilty about chatting with this man without your knowledge. If she does, then she knows that what she's doing could be harmful to you. There are a lot of conversations that you and your wife need to do to see how you each feel about such situations. Will swinging be a good place for you two to explore sexual fantasies? Are both of you ready? Is your relationship strong enough to endure the many issues and bumps that will occur on the journey? Will there be jealousy? What are each of your fears? Boundaries? These are subjects you two need to discuss before jumping into swinging. Has she been seeking something that she is afraid of asking you for or is there a disconnect between you two that lead her to seek it in this other man? Are you able to provide it personally or at least be in a supportive role? What about her for you with your sexual fantasies? Fourth, there can be some overlap for some couples in terms of having an open marriage and swinging but they are not the same thing. There are swingers who have an open marriage, there are couples who have an open marriage that don't swing, and there are swingers who don't have open marriages. We are in the latter camp. To us, an open marriage is where each partner can seek out anyone they want to without any need to disclose what each one does to the married partner. Whereas, swinging is something that we do together. We determine if we are both interested in a couple or not. If one of us is interested in a certain couple but the other is not, then it's a no-go for the couple all together. That is what swinging is for us. For other couples, their rules may be more lenient or stricter. It varies on the couple and what they are comfortable with. As it stands right now, neither of you should be talking about having an open marriage or swinging. There are some issues that both of you need to talk about because it sounds like the relationship you two have isn't quite on strong enough ground to withstand what swinging, much less an open marriage, can put it through.

Also feel free to ask any questions. If you are not receptive to having an open marriage, then it probably isn't a good idea. You and her need to sit down and have a long talk about this. This is all about communication and you need to find out why she is interested...is it just a fantasy, she doesn't have much experience with other men, or is it something more serious as she is thinking your relationship is in trouble? It's all about love, trust and communication and it sounds like you both could use some more communication right now.

Dume. At one point I would 100% agree with you that Swinging is a Lifestyle. That pretty much went out the door. There are very few of us that would be considered within it as a Lifestyle any longer. Most today it is their hobby.... We see newbies each and every week that it will never be their Lifestyle. Have seen others that have been involved for years and it still is not their Lifestyle. Just their Hobby... like playing golf. It's all good though. What ever works for people and in what you wrote some could take that it is not for many/most. That would be correct. Always be sure why you are doing this. It can be great or it can rip a relationship totally apart. Ok, sorry, I think we highjacked their thread. Sorry....

LM how about the profile: Short to average endowment, suffers from pre-ejaculation, kinda fat, male pattern baldness, oh, and yup man boobs too! Appealing?? Was thinking of updating my profile!!!