Processing feelings in a positive & healthy way
By
Littlephish69, in Swingers Talk
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Similar Content
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By StartingOver60
I am curious, when you are with another partner for the evening do you tend to have a new approach to adventure?
Does the opportunity to be with someone new give you the feeling that you are free to reach out to new levels that you may not share with your spouse?
Do you do things like swallow or go down on your new partner and not your spouse?
Do you ever just let go and accommodate the requested new situation pushing the agreed upon boundaries/limits of your spouse?
Do you have stronger or multiple organism's with you new partner?
Do you have sex more times during the evening encounter than with your spouse?
Do you look forward to a specific partner that elevates your experience?
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By Sawman
I am at the mature end of the swinging demographic as are my play friends. The ladies have their share of curves and character lines and often prefer to wear something when younger, fitter ladies prefer total nudity. This is just to say clothing is totally OK if it makes you comfortable. This is not a photo shoot. This is intimacy and mutual giving. Besides, a little color and texture is nice to see and feel. When I know my partner is shy I can adjust and just observe that as a boundary.
Now, go shopping.
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By LovelyLynn
I have a question for the experienced couples on the board. For quite a while I have had the desire to be in a more sexually charged environment while having sex with my husband. Now, I have been hanging around this board and learned a lot about the maturity required to swing and I must say I am impressed by a lot of you. The reason I bring this up is because I would like your opinions. I am wanting to find some couples or groups that are open and mature like yourselves to watch while each couple has sex.
I am in my 20's and find that a lot of couples around my age lack maturity when it is called for. Of course for a lot of couples at any age it seems can barely keep their own relationships together. On the other hand it seems that a lot of you put respect and your relationships above all else. Other than the fact that I am not technically a swinger (yet ), I feel you people share more in common with my ideals than most groups of people.
I would love to try new things but I'm not near ready for a 4some or swapping. However, I feel that being in and getting comfortable as a couple around swingers would open the door to a lot of new experiences for me.
So I was curious how the couples on here would feel about having a non swapping couple around having sex in the same room as them? Does it make a difference to you if there are just 2 couples, more than 2, group sex, or swapping going on in the room? What do you think the best way to go about it would be? Is this something that Swingers in general accept?
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By Trojan Defense
How do you assess std risk? (And for those of you who would say use common sense, how about going into exactly what that means for those of us that don't have any.) I've asked a number of people, and some of the answers I have gotten thus far have been:
"You look at how they are dress, and act."
"You take into consideration where did you find them at [bar, online, through a friend, etc.]"
"You just know."
"You ask them how many partners they have been with. If they've been more than what I can count on my hands, and feet, then that's too many."
"If she smells down there, there's probably something wrong with it."
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By JoeSnoopy
First-time poster here. I've been on the board for a while, but I setup a new account just for this post. I'm posting this message with a two-fold purpose: One, to bring reality to the issues and ramifications associated to the lifestyle and Two, to get some other perspectives and advice.
My wife and I started swinging a little over a year ago. We've had full swap experiences with about 7 or 8 couples since then. We always used condoms for penetration.
About 4 months ago, my wife had an abnormal pap which led to inconclusive biopsies, then a LEEP procedure. Supposedly, she's OK for now, but we won't know for sure until her 6 month follow-up. About a month ago, I was diagnosed with genital warts. I just had about 20 of them burned off (not fun at all!). The doctors are fairly convinced all of this is HPV related. They are assuming the abnormalities from her pap were more wart-like, and not cancerous as the strands of HPV are not the same for the two. There is no HPV test for men, and all the tests on her were negative. Which isn't really an indicator as the doctors say it is very difficult to truly diagnose.
So, we obviously haven't had sex with anyone (or each other for that matter) in the last few months. We've clearly agreed that the benefits of the lifestyle are absolutely not worth the costs and associated risks. (As we've learned the hard way).
We very much like the 'sexy' openness of the clubs and have talked about continuing to go, but just not playing with others. Or maybe once things straighten up maybe some mild soft-swap only play. We definitely don't want to spread anything, but we also don't want to catch anything else.
I'm really looking to get some feedback from others about: Is it wrong/uncool to go to swing clubs knowing we are not going to ever play with others? We don't want to openly publicize we have/had HPV & warts. If we do go to clubs, we'd meet new people - but don't want offend anyone if we won't play. We're thinking we'd eventually be ostracized for either being 'too-picky or too-good-for snobs' or for being contaminated!
Would anyone soft-swap with others who had HPV in the past/or quite possibly still do but with no symptoms?
We're both pretty alone and confused right now and would like to get some other perspectives. Please feel free to openly reply to this post, or if you'd prefer PM's would be great too. (Rest assured, anything PM'd will absolutely remain private!).
HPV is rampant throughout society, and as to be expected in the lifestyle. I'd offer that it is not a matter of IF you get it, it's simply a matter of WHEN... You also cannot judge a book by it's cover!!! We were very picky and selective as to who we played.
Thanks in advance.
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