Sex toys - is wife interested in a threesome?

[Santokos 5]

My wife is conservative, we are 10 years together. Our sex life is just OK. Due to children and busy life, we don’t have sex often. I asked her if she wants me to buy a dildo for her. She said she would like the dildo. When I asked her how she will use it she said that she would like to have the dildo in her pussy while sucking my cock. Ladies what do you think, does that means that she is into 3some? I know that most of the replies would be .. go and ask her but I would love a different reply. I forgot to mention that we don’t have any experience in SL

P.S sorry for my bad English 

Edited March 5, 2023 by Santokos

[njbm 2,728]

You knew the answer. Ask her.

[Billygoat 405]

Well lots of talking, discussion, communication is key.  However do not start now.  Now is the time for mutual exploration.

 

she has opened a window…not a door.  She has shared a desire with you.  To expand your mutual sexual pleasure…….this very well over time will expand as you both discuss and explore together and very well may never include another live person joining with you.

 

Couples will in time find their sex lives become common, reactive, the same activity just repeated.  The first step is open discussion….over time.  Learning and knowing the difference and recognizing the need for intimacy, love making and sex for fun and pleasure between and for the two of you.  Just between the two of you.  And the separation of these activities.  And more importantly when and how to make the time for each other for these activities.

 

Also add in the fun of search and discovery not just of each other…..but of things, situations and locations to also explore with each other and expand…..again new discoveries with each other.  Toys of every imagination, role play, different locations ie B&B, hotels, outdoors……keeping things fresh and erotic…..not just love making.

 

this will and should be over a great length of time…..years.  We know of many couples we’ve met at fetish fairs and LS parties and themes that absolutely do not play with others at all but love the atmosphere, the toys and activities.  Some graduate to same room or open room play but only between each other….just same room sex….enjoying the eye candy….the sexual energy….the vibe.  But never with others just between themselves.  Also know of couples who have learned and enjoy double penetration for the wife….yet have never had a live playmate.  The husband uses a strap on with a sized real feel attachment to mount and simultaneously penetrate and fuck the wife vaginally and anally.   One of our vanilla friends enjoy talking to us about their personal adventures with just each other and they love our stories in our adventures…..but have not and do not have a desire to have others join.  Just between themselves.  They even act out some of our adventures….but just between each other.  Various dildos, vibes etc.  they even use two different cumming dildos that they research and found a recipe foe a safe Semen or artificial cum….for her.  Side note they also discovered the great importance on how to keep this toy clean/sterile…..for her health and comfort.

 

Point is she opened up to you a small window of her desire.  Not an invitation to kick open the door and barge through.  Could lead to something….but more than likely just expanding sexual adventure for just the two of you.  Baby Steps.

[Billygoat 405]

Sorry for the lengthily response above….but we have seen to many couples rush into the lifestyle due to something said or done in the moment that had bad results……and caused relationship issues that were not present before.

 

[couplers 4,140]

9 hours ago, Santokos said:

She said she would like the dildo. When I asked her how she will use it she said that she would like to have the dildo in her pussy while sucking my cock. Ladies what do you think, does that means that she is into 3some?

None of us here knows, and perhaps at this time even your wife doesn't know.  My advice is for you to enjoy the adventure that you and your wife are starting together, beginning with looking at different types of dildos, talking about them, and letting her decide which ones to purchase.  She may be interested in more than one, including a vibrator.

 

Then let her show you how she wants to use it.  Be very sensitive to what she likes, doesn't like, and new ideas that she has.  A small step would be asking for her to switch it around - suck the dildo while your cock is in her pussy.  Encourage her to tell you her fantasies, like whose cock she wishes the dildo is.

 

Let her be the leader, don't criticize her, and enjoy the journey. 

Edited March 5, 2023 by couplers

[TnA83 273]

59 minutes ago, couplers said:

 

 

Then let her show you how she wants to use it.  Be very sensitive to what she likes, doesn't like, and new ideas that she has.  A small step would be asking for her to switch it around - suck the dildo while your cock is in her pussy.  Encourage her to tell you her fantasies, like whose cock she wishes the dildo is.

 

 

Or lick and suck on her clit as you plunge the dildo into her.

[shy_couple 448]

14 hours ago, couplers said:

My advice is for you to enjoy the adventure that you and your wife are starting together, beginning with looking at different types of dildos, talking about them, and letting her decide which ones to purchase.  She may be interested in more than one, including a vibrator….

 

Encourage her to tell you her fantasies….

 

Let her be the leader, don't criticize her, and enjoy the journey…,

All awesome recommendations. 
 

Don’t look at her interest as a stepping stone to swinging. Treat it as a gift and journey that she is open to exploring. She is open to exploring, discussing, trying new things or adding more spice to the bedroom. Share, be supportive, and an active participant. 
 

Many people enjoy spicing things up in the bedroom. Even a little dirty talk and sharing fantasies but would never consider adding another person in their bed. Enjoy new experiences together and all communication should be shared freely without judgement, agenda, or hidden expectations. 

[couplers 4,140]

8 hours ago, shy_couple said:

Don’t look at her interest as a stepping stone to swinging.  
 

Many people ...would never consider adding another person in their bed.

I agree with all of your advice in approaching the OP's situation, but disagree somewhat on the philosophical underpinnings.  Humans are by nature not monogamous, just like most animals including other primates.  Religion and society pressures us to be otherwise.

 

Jealousy and possessiveness, however, are real basic human instincts.  That's why when someone wants to encourage their partner to swing, it's helpful to let the other go first to play while you remain monogamous.

 

(Except for all those men who want to see their wives have sex with other men, and have MFMs.  Now I'm not making sense.  Help.  Straighten this out.)  But basically, if you are gentle and understanding, a partner/spouse will take the opportunity to play.

Edited March 6, 2023 by couplers

[jamesok 39]

58 minutes ago, couplers said:

I agree with all of your advice in approaching the OP's situation, but disagree somewhat on the philosophical underpinnings.  Humans are by nature not monogamous, just like most animals including other primates.  Religion and society pressures us to be otherwise.

 

Jealousy and possessiveness, however, are real basic human instincts.  That's why when someone wants to encourage their partner to swing, it's helpful to let the other go first to play while you remain monogamous.

 

(Except for all those men who want to see their wives have sex with other men, and have MFMs.  Now I'm not making sense.  Help.  Straighten this out.)  But basically, if you are gentle and understanding, a partner/spouse will take the opportunity to play.

Yeah, that all makes sense to me at least. Clover will take a while to get over her jealousy and insecurities(where her possessiveness really seems to come from). This site has really helped me understand a lot of the dynamics from a womans point of view and kept me from pulling some stupid stuff while the moment was hot. Thankfully we have always been expanding our sex life from the time we first started having sex. 

 

As far as the MFM comment, that kinda made sense to me. Seems to me to have become a more common fantasy with easy access to whatever porn a person can get their hands on at any time thanks to smart phones. Wasn't necessarily the route I expected us to go and quite honestly I have no issues with her playing alone with one of her boyfriends. They are both good guys that respect her and her experience with them have helped her get over some of her insecurities while helping with her self esteem.

 

Anyways, back to the OP's thing, I can feel where some of these young guys are coming from. The instant gratification allowed in most of parts of life in our society has had patience as it's main victim.

[GoldCoCouple 4,014]

As already pointed out, there's no good way for us to know. Accept the gift she has given to you and get her what she wants. She was willing to let you know this fantasy, who knows where it might end up...or it could also just end here. Baby steps...but let her know that you will not judge when she shares her fantasies with you and keep the communication open. See where this path will lead...

[couplers 4,140]

22 hours ago, jamesok said:

As far as the MFM comment, that kinda made sense to me. Seems to me to have become a more common fantasy with easy access to whatever porn

Thinking about it more, I have a theory about men having the propensity to want their wife to have sex with other men.  Men like to show off their possessions.  Let another guy drive his car, borrow his boat kind of thing to have the other guy be jealous of how it performs. 

Edited March 7, 2023 by couplers

[let's do it again 379]

For me, a mfm is all about making the f lose control. Can she handle being spit roast or Dp. Mfm is all about taking her to a limit that one man can't. Is there a woman that has never tried or fantasized if they could handle a cock in their pussy and one in her anus?

[let's do it again 379]

As far as watching any partner that I have been with, it's all about watching what they do with a new partner that they don't do with me. Techniques, positions, or aggressiveness is things that I look for, especially when orgasm happens!

[hotwife70 574]

On 3/4/2023 at 7:24 PM, Santokos said:

My wife is conservative, we are 10 years together. Our sex life is just OK. Due to children and busy life, we don’t have sex often. I asked her if she wants me to buy a dildo for her. She said she would like the dildo. When I asked her how she will use it she said that she would like to have the dildo in her pussy while sucking my cock. Ladies what do you think, does that means that she is into 3some? I know that most of the replies would be .. go and ask her but I would love a different reply. I forgot to mention that we don’t have any experience in SL

P.S sorry for my bad English 

Yes,she is at least curious and fantasizes about having another cock to join base on my experience after introduced a dildo to my wife she first signed was shy then eventually I noticed she always reached out to my cock to suck it anytime I fucked her with the dildo then finally admitted she loves to have another cock in her mouth as long as she receiving cock in her pussy.

[Numex 2,175]

On 3/6/2023 at 6:47 AM, jamesok said:

I have no issues with her playing alone with one of her boyfriends. They are both good guys that respect her

We started with only Daniela playing.  Now we've moved onto swapping within a closed group of married couples, but she often plays without me (with men or couples), mostly because of scheduling, it gives us both more opportunities to play.  I appreciate that they respect her and me, and I'm proud of her. 

[Santokos 5]

Thank you all for the replies. We have now used the dildo twice and it was great. She gives me a blowjob while the dildo is in her pussy. I think that Im  ready to ask her if she wants to replace the dildo with a real cock. I would love to see her having a real cock in her mouth while I'm fucking her. However I wouldn’t like the other guy to fuck her. How common is to have a threesome where the other man can only have oral sex with my wife(giving and receiving) ? Will it work ? I’m afraid I will be horny and ask the guy to fuck  my wife and I  don’t want this to happen. 
PS sorry for my bad English 

[couplers 4,140]

8 hours ago, Santokos said:

I think that Im  ready to ask her if she wants to replace the dildo with a real cock.

My suggestion would be to take only a half step in that direction the first time, so as not to shock her.  Ask her to imagine it is cock of someone real, but not a real possibility - a celebrity, an athlete - a fantasy.  You can later bring up people you know.  Encourage her to identify the men, ones that she likes.

 

8 hours ago, Santokos said:

How common is to have a threesome where the other man can only have oral sex with my wife(giving and receiving) ?

I don't know how common it is, but no guy would turn down a blow job. Just make sure that the rules are clear all around, including the big one, whether he can cum in  her mouth.

 

8 hours ago, Santokos said:

Will it work ? I’m afraid I will be horny and ask the guy to fuck  my wife and I  don’t want this to happen. 

Set the rules all around, including to both of them, "No fucking, no matter what I say in the heat of the moment."  But my prediction as a woman who was extremely possessive of my husband and didn't want him to fuck other women is that you will get there.

 

Thinking about it when you are not horny you will decide at the right time with the right guy your wife wants under the right circumstances it is the right thing to do.  There will be two reasons: you want to please your wife and give her a wonderful gift with no expectations in return, and you will want to see it as well, a beautiful act.  That is what I did, and no regrets, it is wonderful. 

 

Your English is very good. 

Edited March 28, 2023 by couplers

[Numex 2,175]

12 hours ago, couplers said:

you will want to see it as well, a beautiful act.

There is a reason that so many guys want their wife to have sex with another man, then enjoy it when it happens.  Your wife will be as grateful as hell and love you more for it.  You will be proud of her and appreciate the fact that other guys will envy you.  It is exciting, like watching live porn with your favorite performer.  And the urge to claim her back and the sex afterwards is incredible.

 

Go at you own pace, don't rule it out, and enjoy the journey that you two are on.