Spotting other swingers on cruises?

[Mike6216 34]

Ok, I'm going to sound like a newby, but that's because I am lol. The wife and I are going on our first cruise in a few days. It's not a "swingers cruise", but I've heard that there are usually tons of swingers on any cruise. My question is, how do we spot them? I know about the pineapple thing, but i also assume that pineapples are a  pretty common thing on a Carribean cruise. We are 3 years deep in the lifestyle but, so far, we only swing with one other couple, so we have zero experience in approaching potential playmates. We are not going on the cruise to actively seek out new playmates, but would like to be ready if the opportunity arises. My questions are:

 

1. Is there a way to spot swingers and, if so, how?

2. Once we have determined that a couple are swingers, how do we start the conversation?

3. Is there a way that we can make ourselves visible to other couples that might be in the same boat as us?

[lcmim 1,009]

Well, the obvious tings that don't work might increase your odds a bit. Anklet, pineapple. If you have any tee shirts that have a bit if innuendo and your lady can dress a bit provocatively. Other than that be a obvious about being in love and having a good time. That makes you approachable. People like to be around friendly people who are happy.

 

Other than that be open to approaches and be aware that other might very well be playing the same game. Sooner or later someone needs to get off the dime. 

[Fundamental Law 2,817]

SLS has a forum section on cruises that includes a "roll call" . If your cruise is posted there, it's easy. If your cruise is not posted there, post it. 

 

 

[njbm 2,728]

Slightly expensive upgrade that may not payoff: swingers wear black wedding rings. 

[Fundamental Law 2,817]

Or they wear additional such rings on the opposite 4th finger.

[TnA83 273]

17 hours ago, Mike6216 said:

 

2. Once we have determined that a couple are swingers, how do we start the conversation?

Wouldn't the conversation be the best way to find out?

 

[Bostonguitarist 24]

Anklet is fairly standard 

works well 😈

[ROCKlandCpl 436]

We met a woman on the beach, not a nude beach,  who had a Pineapple Beach Bag. Pineapples all over the bag, I said she was a swinger, Rocky said it was just a beach bag. I told her that I loved her bag, she said thank you, some people think it’s a bag for threesomes. She was alone but we let it go. 

[TnA83 273]

23 hours ago, ROCKlandCpl said:

We met a woman on the beach, not a nude beach,  who had a Pineapple Beach Bag. Pineapples all over the bag, I said she was a swinger, Rocky said it was just a beach bag. I told her that I loved her bag, she said thank you, some people think it’s a bag for threesomes. She was alone but we let it go. 

I would have said, "What do you say?"

[TnA83 273]

On 7/18/2022 at 4:08 PM, njbm said:

Slightly expensive upgrade that may not payoff: swingers wear black wedding rings. 

We met a couple in Cancun with black wedding rings, I asked them about it, but they didn't seem to get it.

[ROCKlandCpl 436]

2 hours ago, TnA83 said:

I would have said, "What do you say?"

I think it was more that we weren’t interested to go forward with that. 

[Sudhit 14]

I have read , people have an upside down pineapple picture posted on their cabin door.

An inverted pineapple locket . 

 

wear a Swinger website Tshirt.

[TnA83 273]

20 hours ago, ROCKlandCpl said:

I think it was more that we weren’t interested to go forward with that. 

Aha. Now I get it.

[cplnuswing 4,711]

All of the above could be hints...or innocent coincidence.  Same with the following suggestion - just watch people and how they interact with others, swingers sort of stand out sometimes I think.

 

We had a group of vanilla friends that would come over for pool parties. Not prudes by any stretch, but totally vanilla. They don't know we swing, and we would never even dream of flirting or crossing any lines with them since all are good friends and we don't try to make swingers out of friends. 

 

One of them started dating someone new so she became part of the circle.  Eventually, they brought some friends to them but strangers to everyone else with them to one party.

 

She was taking them around introducing them to everyone, and when she got to us, she had some really perceptive comments that honestly kind of set me back a little. It was something like - This is so and so, it's their house. They are really cool and laid back and friendly. They aren't like most couples, you won't see them all jealousy and glued to each other all night. They'll each do their own thing and mingle around with everyone on their own, then get back together to touch base and reconnect for a few minutes, then starting mingling around again."

 

When I thought about it, she was right on point with her observations. I didn't think we stood out in any way as being different, but evidently we do. I doubt we are alone in that.

[Fundamental Law 2,817]

7 minutes ago, cplnuswing said:

" This is so and so, it's their house. They are really cool and laid back and friendly. They aren't like most couples, you won't see them all jealousy and glued to each other all night. They'll each do their own thing and mingle around with everyone on their own, then get back together to touch base and reconnect for a few minutes, then starting mingling around again."

 

When I thought about it, she was right on point with her observations. I didn't think we stood out in any way as being different, but evidently we do. I doubt we are alone in that.

Trust, Communication. Honoring the spouse as an individual. While that may describe some vanilla couples, those values and their expression are foundational to any couple that wants to be part of the LS. 

[GoldCoCouple 4,014]

1. Is there a way to spot swingers and, if so, how?

Unless they are trying to make it obvious, there isn't a 'secret handshake'. The problem has always been the same thing...a secret sign never stays secret for long. Remember when a rainbow meant that you just liked rainbows and not that you were part of or supported the LGBTQ community? I went to a Christian high school and one year we had a window sticker with a rainbow about the school name (because of the story of Noah and the rainbow being God's promise not to flood the Earth again). These days, that same sticker would have a totally different meaning. Pineapples can just mean they like pineapples, especially for a tropical cruise. Black rings mean nothing...Prince Henry wears a black ring...it is a more sophisticated 'fit bit' that is a ring instead of a band. The best way to 'spot' a swinger, is to find swingers planning on going on the same cruise before you leave via other websites as Fundamental Law mentioned.

 

2. Once we have determined that a couple are swingers, how do we start the conversation?

If you are sure they are swingers (or even if they are not), the best way to start a conversation is to say 'hi'.

 

3. Is there a way that we can make ourselves visible to other couples that might be in the same boat as us?

Maybe try wearing a shirt that says 'swinger' on it. There is no subtle way that only other swingers will be able to spot.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,086]

My completely vanilla brother in law wears a black rubber wedding ring. He is a carpenter and says he has seen metal rings get caught on machinery.

 

We also have a vanilla cruise planned, our first ever cruise, and are also open to the idea of connecting with other swingers.

 

We plan to go the "pineapple" route. My wife has a pineapple dress (about half the pineapples are upside down), and we will debate whether she will wear her "hotwife" necklace, or possibly something more low-key like her pineapple earrings.

 

Either way, our plan is to put out signs, and we expect other swingers will also put out signs and be receptive to ours.

[Billygoat 405]

(Rolls eyes).  Wow….who knew.

 

yeah there really isnt any one or group of items labels etc that you can trust……or should ever trust….unless you want to experience so shocking and embarrassing moments.

 

It will come out….sometimes in conversations.

 

But in reality joining different adult sites, attending meet and greets as well as attending swinger events (house parties, clubs etc will broaden and provide more access to  those in the lifestyle.

 

our experience on vacation might give you second thoughts about assuming.  The last weekend at our hotel while on vacation had several dozen couples flood the halls, bar and restaurant.  All were wearing (on Saturday) T-shirts that read….”Life is a lot better when you’re swinging together”.  We thought wow talk about advertising yourself.  We talked about this while waiting for our dinner order.  There are many nudist, lifestyle accepted communities, clubs, groups etc in Florida.  We were wowed to say the least.  Most were mid forties looking and up but a few younger looking couples here and there.  We were on vacation together and were only interested in our own company, and although we have slowed down a bit if we were interest what a huge group of like minded people to socialize with.  While enjoying our appetizers and a second round of cocktails a friendly group at the table next to us engaged us in conversation….a couple of the ladies started talking to the Queen and addressed me as well a few moments later.

 

Just friendly conversation until on of the ladies asked us point blank….”So are you swingers too?” And it caught us off guard for a moment…”We are all here, our group for this event”. “It is an annual thing here every year”.  Their group was from South Carolina and Georgia…”where are you all from?”.  New Hampshire, we state.  “You have a lot of swing groups up that way?”  About to answer them…….”My husband and I started with ballroom dancing for fun.  Then we tried contra dancing and salsa but fell in love with swing dancing right away.  We just love it” one of the ladies just gushed over this.  We must have looked a little off cause the asked us then if we were there for the swing contest.  We said no but it sounded real interesting.  It might have been more interesting if we had responded to who we thought they were.

 

can’t assume a thing.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,086]

54 minutes ago, Billygoat said:

(Rolls eyes).  Wow….who knew.

 

yeah there really isnt any one or group of items labels etc that you can trust……or should ever trust….unless you want to experience so shocking and embarrassing moments.

 

But in reality joining different adult sites, attending meet and greets as well as attending swinger events (house parties, clubs etc will broaden and provide more access to  those in the lifestyle.... can’t assume a thing.

Truth.  We do belong to a swinger site, and participate in other forms of community contact (including this board).  We could probably work to arrange in advance a meet with other lifestylers on our cruise.  But there is also a certain excitement in the hunt, don't you think?  There is something to be said for chance encounters - especially chance vacation encounters - that makes the pursuit more thrilling for us.

[AndrewandAnn 359]

If your goal is to meet other swingers on a cruise, choose one that exclusively caters to swingers. Otherwise, you picked the wrong cruise.

 

Other than simple behavior, there are no outward "signs" someone is a swinger. Black wedding bands? Pineapples? Anklets? Lol... Grasping at straws. Most men who work with their hands either do not wear a wedding band, or choose to wear a silicone ring, often made in a dark color. Pineapples are signs of hospitality in southern states and throughout the Caribbean, dating as far back as Colonial times. Anklets signify nothing, other than a woman's preference for how she likes to wear her jewelry.

 

Meeting genuine swingers on a vanilla cruise is trying to find a needle in haystack. Just enjoy the cruise for what it is. And, next time, call a lifestyle travel company and book a cruise that better fits your needs.