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wife86

We tried swinging and it did not go well my husband has become withdrawn

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So yeah I need some advice from you all we have been talking about trying for years and we finally after talking quite a bit about decided to join a local swingersboard.

We mostly just chatted with people to begin with and the night was actually pretty normal for the most part like any other night out really.

But then we met a couple really nice both me and my husband liked them anyways we chatted for quite awhile and we really hit it off.

Me and my husband decided to speak privately for a minute and I asked my husband if he liked her and he said yes she is a very attractive woman and we ended up going with them to a private room.

I slept with her husband and it was basiclly a swap I enjoyed myself immensly he was very well endowed and it actually hurt me in the beginning but he was very gentle and did not go crazy.

But then after maybe 10 minutes I saw my husband getting really uncomfortable and he put his clothes back on and excused himself.

I of course put my clothes on and followed my husband outside and he just said I can't do this he was shaking, I said okay you don't have to we can go right now.

He asked me to drive he did not say a word on the 40 minute drive home he was just staring blankely.

He has become completely withdrawn he can barely look me in the eye anymore and I feel so lost he looks like he is in such pain and I have no idea what to do he barely talks to me anymore.

So need some advice because I feel I have royally messed up and I feel terrible seeing him like this, I was the one who brought up swinging and talked him into it.



 

Edited by wife86
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He needs your love and support, obviously no swinging and a little professional counseling. 

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2 minutes ago, njbm said:

He needs your love and support, obviously no swinging and a little professional counseling. 

Yeah I have tried telling him that I love him and begged him to please talk to me but he went to this brothers yesterday and when he came home late today I saw him talking to his brother when his brother dropped him off, he seemed normal until he saw me and the same hurt and sad expression appeared on his face again ,I felt like I was breaking his world all over again.

I just feel like a walking trigger for him and feel like I am just mentally torturing him at this point.

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1 hour ago, bbarnsworth said:

Get back to being just the two of you, and stay with that.

1 hour ago, bbarnsworth said:

 

Of course swinging is off the table I don't care if I never do it again to be honest it was not worth this.

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2 hours ago, wife86 said:

I was the one who brought up swinging and talked him into it.

How exactly did you talk him into it? He’s a grown-up, isn’t he? He could have said “no” at any point prior to your physical encounter with this other couple … or even prior to meeting them. I agree with the other posters that you two need a lot of open, honest communication and maybe professional help. But you didn’t talk him into this … he LET HIMSELF be talked into it! Don’t take on all the guilt.

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You both go to counseling, as soon as possible!  And do not feel embarrassed.  Counselors have heard it all.  And do not hesitate to shop around a bit for a counselor who you both feel comfortable with.  

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13 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

For some people, swinging is just something that can not work. That's ok. It doesn't make him broken, or somehow less. Get back to being just the two of you, and stay with that. That doesn't mean we don't welcome you here to talk with us! Please do. If you have questions, we'll try our best to answer and help you through.

 

11 hours ago, NC_Seniors said:

How exactly did you talk him into it? He’s a grown-up, isn’t he? He could have said “no” at any point prior to your physical encounter with this other couple … or even prior to meeting them. I agree with the other posters that you two need a lot of open, honest communication and maybe professional help. But you didn’t talk him into this … he LET HIMSELF be talked into it! Don’t take on all the guilt.

 

3 hours ago, oldswinger64 said:

You both go to counseling, as soon as possible!  And do not feel embarrassed.  Counselors have heard it all.  And do not hesitate to shop around a bit for a counselor who you both feel comfortable with.  

He finally decided to talk today and he told me did not blame me for anything but felt he struggled with it and like someone posted here he can't unsee that moment where I was enjoying myself he just keeps getting reminded of it and it's hard for him.

He also did not blame me for it and made the clear several times he has just no idea how to handle it, he then said he is not sure he can be intimate with me again I struggle just sleeping in the same bed as you.

He felt that was unfair towards me and was sorry for it and I suggested counciling he seemed receptive to that, but the fact he flinched when I tried to gentely touch his arm got to me.

He seems terrified of intimacy and sex now like he feels he is not good enough anymore and that could not be further from the truth.

I thank you for your advice and concerns and have no idea what's going to happen next but he seems to be receptive to counciling atleast.

I neve imagined it would get to this point and I am actually worried he will just leave me at this point.

Edited by wife86

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I'm curious how your relationship was prior to this. You don't have to divulge anything, I'm just typing while I think about your post. His reaction is on the severe side of reactions I've seen and heard about. Were you two married young (i.e. he didn't have much experience with others, you didn't have experience with others)? Does he lack self confidence in general? Are you more outgoing in general? How long have you been married? Ages?

 

I understand his reaction, just not to this extreme. When I was in my early-mid 20's, I likely would have reacted to seeing my SO with someone else in a similar way (I had little confidence in myself, had little sexual experience, SO had one other partner, etc). I would have never agreed to a swap. Had I watched her reaction to another man, one with larger equipment, I would have cowered in shame. I had no confidence in myself and seeing that would have just crushed me. I feel for your husband. Like the others, I'm confused why he would have agreed to a swap. This extreme reaction doesn't sound like it came out of nowhere.

 

This situation needs time and professional help. I think you both should see a counselor separately and then together. This way he can speak freely alone, the counselor would know your perspective while hearing his concerns and together you can build a bridge. I don't see any further swinging in your future. 

 

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51 minutes ago, discreetplay said:

I'm curious how your relationship was prior to this. You don't have to divulge anything, I'm just typing while I think about your post. His reaction is on the severe side of reactions I've seen and heard about. Were you two married young (i.e. he didn't have much experience with others, you didn't have experience with others)? Does he lack self confidence in general? Are you more outgoing in general? How long have you been married? Ages?

 

I understand his reaction, just not to this extreme. When I was in my early-mid 20's, I likely would have reacted to seeing my SO with someone else in a similar way (I had little confidence in myself, had little sexual experience, SO had one other partner, etc). I would have never agreed to a swap. Had I watched her reaction to another man, one with larger equipment, I would have cowered in shame. I had no confidence in myself and seeing that would have just crushed me. I feel for your husband. Like the others, I'm confused why he would have agreed to a swap. This extreme reaction doesn't sound like it came out of nowhere.

 

This situation needs time and professional help. I think you both should see a counselor separately and then together. This way he can speak freely alone, the counselor would know your perspective while hearing his concerns and together you can build a bridge. I don't see any further swinging in your future. 

 

Our marriage is fine we even thought about having kids this year something both me and him really wanted we are both 36 and met when we were 23 married at 25 so going on 11 years soon.

I know his time all the way from high-school college was hard on him and he was a bit shy, but always kind which is why I ended up with him and why I find him attractive I have been with so many assholes.

I also know he struggled with bullying and exclusion for many years and had a rough childhood but instead of being angry at the world he was just kind which is why I love him.

He is not angry with me but I seemed to have triggered a past trauma in him that he seems reluctant to share he seems embarrased by it so I know there is more to this.

And if that's the case I will do whatever it takes to help him get through it, it's painful for me to see him like this.

I never meant for this to happen and I am not some evil person who wanted to break him.

Edited by wife86
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Swinging requires almost total trust in your partner. You need to reaffirm that while it was fun, it will never be as good as what the two of you have. Also, let him know that you don't want to do it again (not you won't do it again because he didn't enjoy it, but that you aren't interested in doing it again). In hind sight, you probably should have taken smaller steps, but it's too late for that now. Just keep letting him know that you love him and while it was something that you (both) wanted to try, it's over and done with. He is all that you need and want. Counseling would be a good thing if he is willing since there is probably more here than what any of us are seeing. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

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I have written about this at length in other threads:

 

Far too many couples decide to jump into the lifestyle without having soberly considered both the potential upsides and downsides. Swinging is not a good fit for most marriages and far more marriages have been ruined by having sex outside of the relationship than have been helped. This should be the starting point of any serious discussion about swinging. A couple should know they are rolling the dice and considering an activity that is, by definition, high risk--both to their relationship and to their physical and emotional health.

 

And far too many people in the lifestyle act as proselytizers trying to convert people to the lifestyle. This is extremely misguided if not borderline unconscionable. 

 

It is unfortunate the OPs are having such a difficult time. We encourage them to seek out professional help immediately. This is not the kind of thing that a couple can ordinarily resolve on their own. And the longer it goes on unresolved, the more damage is being done. 

 

Wishing them the best of luck.

 

 

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2 hours ago, discreetplay said:

 

 

This situation needs time and professional help. I think you both should see a counselor separately and then together. This way he can speak freely alone, the counselor would know your perspective while hearing his concerns and together you can build a bridge. I don't see any further swinging in your future. 

 

This is pretty good advice given your response (below). 

 

1 hour ago, wife86 said:

I seemed to have triggered a past trauma in him that he seems reluctant to share he seems embarrased by it so I know there is more to this.

 

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There are counselors who have experience in ethical non monogamy (ENM) who can be of particular help. Some traditional counselor may balk and perhaps be too judgemental of the swinging topic.

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Thank you all I just needed ask someone who is in the lifestyle for advice I was completely at a loss and I hope in time we can get passed this.

 

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20 minutes ago, Fitlakecouple said:

There are counselors who have experience in ethical non monogamy (ENM) who can be of particular help. Some traditional counselor may balk and perhaps be too judgemental of the swinging topic.

Yes, try to find a counselor who will focus on the issue and not the choices. 

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Sorry you both are going through this :(  You've gotten a lot of great advice above that I totally agree with so I won't try to rehash what others have said.

 

The first thing that entered my mind when reading your post was "time heals all wounds."  I don't mean to throw that old cliche out there to minimize what you both are going through right now.  Rather, as trying to be a voice of optimism since it's easy to get really down in these situations and think things are hopeless.  I don't think things are hopeless, it just feels that way right now since everything is still so raw.  Once time dulls that raw edge a bit, things will start to look a little better and you can figure out how to move forward together.  In fact, I think that is already happening since he was ready to talk some now where before he wasn't, so that's good.

 

Wishing the best of luck to the both of you as you work through this. Swinging or no swinging, please stick around the site as long as you like, Hopefully we have something to offer you but I think you have a lot to offer us too.  Swinging is not always one endless party, there can be a dark side too, so stories like yours are important.

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20 hours ago, cplnuswing said:

Sorry you both are going through this :(  You've gotten a lot of great advice above that I totally agree with so I won't try to rehash what others have said.

 

The first thing that entered my mind when reading your post was "time heals all wounds."  I don't mean to throw that old cliche out there to minimize what you both are going through right now.  Rather, as trying to be a voice of optimism since it's easy to get really down in these situations and think things are hopeless.  I don't think things are hopeless, it just feels that way right now since everything is still so raw.  Once time dulls that raw edge a bit, things will start to look a little better and you can figure out how to move forward together.  In fact, I think that is already happening since he was ready to talk some now where before he wasn't, so that's good.

 

Wishing the best of luck to the both of you as you work through this. Swinging or no swinging, please stick around the site as long as you like, Hopefully we have something to offer you but I think you have a lot to offer us too.  Swinging is not always one endless party, there can be a dark side too, so stories like yours are important.

He decided to tell me about some things he had repressed for many years one incident in particular that completely ruined his sexual confidence in his teens and he was terrified of dating and intimacy until he met me.

Had I known that I never would have suggested it but he made it clear I did nothing wrong and does not blame me he kept repeating that,  he thought he had a handle on it but seeing me with that man made him feel just the same way as he did back then and just wanted to run away.

That's why he went to his brother that day he just needed to do a time out and get his emotions in check and I understand that now knowing what he went through what happened to him was just cruel.

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Glad to hear the communication has opened up for you two!  Hope this leads to you guys getting back on track with each other.  Good luck.

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3 hours ago, wife86 said:

He decided to tell me about some things he had repressed for many years one incident in particular that completely ruined his sexual confidence in his teens and he was terrified of dating and intimacy until he met me.

Had I known that I never would have suggested it but he made it clear I did nothing wrong and does not blame me he kept repeating that,  he thought he had a handle on it but seeing me with that man made him feel just the same way as he did back then and just wanted to run away.

That's why he went to his brother that day he just needed to do a time out and get his emotions in check and I understand that now knowing what he went through what happened to him was just cruel.

 

You know what? This is actually good news. He has opened up something very deep inside of him, a place where very, very few have ever been. He trusts you. He trusts you very deeply or he wouldn't be telling you this.

 

Step by step. Build on it. If this is going where I think it might be going, he's going to love you even more deeply than before this.

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15 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

 

You know what? This is actually good news. He has opened up something very deep inside of him, a place where very, very few have ever been. He trusts you. He trusts you very deeply or he wouldn't be telling you this.

 

Step by step. Build on it. If this is going where I think it might be going, he's going to love you even more deeply than before this.

I hope so because I feel I have poked a wound without me knowing that never really healed and he has become insecure about us having kids which I understand given his state of mind right now.

I am worried that he may decide that he can't deal with it and just leave me since he still seems anxious around me but we are talking now so hopefully we can get through this.

It's just hard wanting to reassaure him and wanna comfort him and he pulls away when I get to close he  flinched again not much only a little when I touched his shoulder today.

But I am not giving up on him I just hope he does not give up on me

Edited by wife86

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7 hours ago, wife86 said:

But I am not giving up on him I just hope he does not give up on me

 

This is going to take some time. But, he did let you in. That's very hopeful.

 

A suggestion: Years ago, I took an intimacy class with my girlfriend at the time. This was about emotional intimacy in a relationship. A ground rule of the class was that you could not say anything...to anyone in the class, but especially your partner...that could be construed as judgmental or negative. Such comments cause (what we now call) micro aggressions. They reduce trust, reduce intimacy. Whatever your husband says to you, don't say anything judgmental or negative. Just allow it to be spoken, take it on board, response verbally and physically in a positive, accepting way. He has a deep, deep wound. You can help heal it, but he has to keep on trusting you to do so.

 

Keep at it. We're all rooting for you!

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Hello There, I did hesitate before I write to you but I'm the male half of couple and one day I was in the same situation as your husband and I did react somehow just like him!!!

 

Let me explain to you how I felt maybe you will understand how to deal with situation. We met this lovely couple and things was going very well both having fun and enjoying our time but as some did explain to you seening your Mrs having fun with someone else for the 1st time it has it's effect on some men for the first time but when I saw my wife getting the same pleasure I'm giving her ( even better) I felt threatened felt unsecured felt like OMG she can do this!!! As much as I was enjoying the company of the other guy wife which she was doing her best to keep me occupied, I didn't see all her efforts I've only seen my Mrs opening her legs for another man and I did forget all the times we did wait for this to happen and I just simply stopped and left just like your husband did! 

 

Wouldn't deny it took me time to understand but you need to make him feel your heart fully with him and will always be, you will need him to feel he is the main man in your life and no one can take over his place, make him understand that your climax happen even when you play with your self and you wouldn't need another man to make you happy cause he is the only one can do but there lots of things can make any human been climax and do not forget to give him what he love the most ( lots of wild sex the way he likes it ) during this recovery time and he should be fine after little while and I can tell you he will be the one who organise it after this time all the best🤞 

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Reclamation sex is one of the hottest parts of the lifestyle, (so I'm told, we're still rookies) and it seems like you two need that.  I'm not sure how since he flinches when you initiate.  But don't give up.

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I would suspect that your husband is feeling very vulnerable and perhaps hurt at this point. He may not have been ready to see you

enjoy another man. Make sure that he knows that he is your husband and you are his wife, and that this has not changed that. 

Take the time to heal, and help him to work through this, ensuring that he knows that you are not going anywhere and that 

your love and respect for him has not diminished but only grown. We wish you a positive outcome!

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On 5/10/2022 at 5:42 PM, bbarnsworth said:

Wife86, I'm sorry the night turned out so poorly.

 

There are potential explanations for your husband's reaction, but it's hard to know what's going on without being able to speak with him. You're facing the same hurdle of course.

 

Wild guesses; your husband didn't expect you to have as good of a time as you did. He might feel like he's lost something with you, and doesn't feel like he can ever please you again the way you were. There might be some deep seated jealousy exposed within himself that even he didn't know about beforehand. It might be that now that he's seen you having sex with someone else, he can't unsee it..and it keeps flashing back in his mind, like a small form of PTSD.

 

I would strongly consider counseling to help work through this. He might not want to go, but at least have him go with you. This has to be talked out. It might take time, even a lot of time, but patience is key.

 

For some people, swinging is just something that can not work. That's ok. It doesn't make him broken, or somehow less. Get back to being just the two of you, and stay with that. That doesn't mean we don't welcome you here to talk with us! Please do. If you have questions, we'll try our best to answer and help you through.

Since you don’t know it may have been performance issue

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On 5/16/2022 at 7:34 PM, Married-adventure said:

Hello There, I did hesitate before I write to you but I'm the male half of couple and one day I was in the same situation as your husband and I did react somehow just like him!!!

 

Let me explain to you how I felt maybe you will understand how to deal with situation. We met this lovely couple and things was going very well both having fun and enjoying our time but as some did explain to you seening your Mrs having fun with someone else for the 1st time it has it's effect on some men for the first time but when I saw my wife getting the same pleasure I'm giving her ( even better) I felt threatened felt unsecured felt like OMG she can do this!!! As much as I was enjoying the company of the other guy wife which she was doing her best to keep me occupied, I didn't see all her efforts I've only seen my Mrs opening her legs for another man and I did forget all the times we did wait for this to happen and I just simply stopped and left just like your husband did! 

 

Wouldn't deny it took me time to understand but you need to make him feel your heart fully with him and will always be, you will need him to feel he is the main man in your life and no one can take over his place, make him understand that your climax happen even when you play with your self and you wouldn't need another man to make you happy cause he is the only one can do but there lots of things can make any human been climax and do not forget to give him what he love the most ( lots of wild sex the way he likes it ) during this recovery time and he should be fine after little while and I can tell you he will be the one who organise it after this time all the best🤞 

Yeah that's not gonna happen I think my marriage is about to come to an end.

Me and my husband have talked some more and I believed things were moving forward and was so happy and he opened up to me about things he had struggled with.

But without blaming me he seems to want to take some time apart and I honestly was surprised because I honestly believed I was getting through to him.

He basiclly said that he was open to counseling but he tried to move past the images in his head and he just can't do it and it destroying him.

He felt that there was nothing I could do and it was unfair of him to expect anything more than I already had done according to him.

Him and I have not slept in the same bed since this happened and he sleeps in the guest room and he tried to sleep in the same bed as me but when I woke up I found him sleeping in the guest room again.

He said he just could not sleep if he did not go to the guest room and he needed to sleep because of his job.

So yeah not the ending many where hoping for but I think my marriage is coming to an end.


 

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Hopefully, you can go to counseling. Something is off with his perspective. This event should be a hiccup, not a marriage ender. Someone else may have to bring your husband to arrive at that conclusion. 

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I concur with njbm.

 

Ok, this was a deeply traumatic event for him. Ok, there's been lasting repercussions. Ok, he's having a very difficult time getting the images out of his head. All of that is understandable. There's recognition there is a serious problem.

 

To me, what is not understandable is being unwilling to do anything about it. Allowing one consensual incident like this destroy a marriage is unconscionable. That should be the very, very, very last thing to consider. Get him to counseling. If he's not open to counseling, and absolutely refuses to go, ...I don't know how to say this without coming off as highly critical...the burden is squarely on his shoulders, and it is perhaps fortunate you haven't had kids with him.

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10 hours ago, wife86 said:

Yeah that's not gonna happen I think my marriage is about to come to an end.

Me and my husband have talked some more and I believed things were moving forward and was so happy and he opened up to me about things he had struggled with.

But without blaming me he seems to want to take some time apart and I honestly was surprised because I honestly believed I was getting through to him.

He basiclly said that he was open to counseling but he tried to move past the images in his head and he just can't do it and it destroying him.

He felt that there was nothing I could do and it was unfair of him to expect anything more than I already had done according to him.

Him and I have not slept in the same bed since this happened and he sleeps in the guest room and he tried to sleep in the same bed as me but when I woke up I found him sleeping in the guest room again.

He said he just could not sleep if he did not go to the guest room and he needed to sleep because of his job.

So yeah not the ending many where hoping for but I think my marriage is coming to an end.


 

It's unfortunate things have continued to sour. You two dove headlong into the deep water when you weren't even close to being ready, and now your relationship is floundering under the waves. I hope the novices are paying attention to this thread, because there is an important lesson to be learned from your experiences.

 

Concerning your posts, you may not have noticed the irregularities, inconsistencies, and contradictions. It may be helpful for them to be pointed out to you: You state, for example, your husband is "... basically open to counseling..."  is not "blaming me (you)... " and simply "... wants to take some time apart." Then, you finish by declaring your marriage "... is coming to an end."  Those statements do not add up. At this point, it is not clear if your husband has given up the relationship... or you have?

 

Lastly, do your relationship a BIG favor and completely ignore the armchair, pretend "therapists" who are laying all the blame at your husband's feet. That perspective is both wrongheaded and destructive. It takes two to tango. Your husband's feelings and actions are not happening in a vacuum and are not separate from yours. You both foolishly decided to jump into swinging without having even a basic appreciation for the risks to your relationship. And you both are responsible for the consequences to your relationship.

 

If either, or both, of you have decided to toss in the towel, nothing anyone is going to say that is going to change the trajectory. On the other hand, if both of you are serious about getting some help, you may be able to salvage the relationship. In fact, with immediate interventive, professional counseling, this crisis may eventually lead you to have a stronger relationship (I know, that seems improbable at this juncture but, I assure you, it can happen.)

 

Now, pick up the phone and schedule a visit with a marriage counselor. The sooner the better. 

 

And good luck.

 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

Get him to counseling. If he's not open to counseling, and absolutely refuses to go, ...I don't know how to say this without coming off as highly critical...the burden is squarely on his shoulders, and it is perhaps fortunate you haven't had kids with him.

 

4 minutes ago, AndrewandAnn said:

Now, pick up the phone and schedule a visit with a marriage counselor. The sooner the better. 

He has agreed to counceling and we have found one and we are going to see one that's why him saying we need some "time apart" surprised me but we are gonna talk to somebody.

And yes I know it sound contradictory and I sure as hell don't want him to go but I feel like he has checked out in a way and it seems easier for him to do so.

 

Edited by wife86
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We agree that this isn't a marriage ender at this time. Just don't give up. If you start thinking that it is over, then it probably will end up being over. He has asked for time apart, so give him time alone. This doesn't mean that either of you are moving out, just taking time apart. Let him have the guest room and some space. Get into some counseling and start working on whatever  the issues are, but let him know that you are choosing him, staying with him while you together work through the issues. It doesn't matter whose at 'fault' here, just that you stay a team and he knows that you are there for him. Love, trust and communication...let him know that he has all three and then let him come to you. When is your first appointment? 

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1 hour ago, wife86 said:

 

He has agreed to counceling and we have found one and we are going to see one that's why him saying we need some "time apart" surprised me but we are gonna talk to somebody.

And yes I know it sound contradictory and I sure as hell don't want him to go but I feel like he has checked out in a way and it seems easier for him to do so.

 

That's the right move. I'm glad to see you two taking this concrete step towards getting things back on track.

 

A few things to add:

 

When a person exhibits the kinds of behaviors (you are describing) being displayed by your husband, it's important for you to realize they are not necessarily "directed" towards you. Generally, when a person closes himself off (i.e., asks for space; emotionally and physically withdraws; becomes uncommunicative, etc.) due to some kind of traumatic event, it is because he feels emotionally overwhelmed. In this moment of extreme vulnerability and confusion, the last thing he needs or wants from you is to be constantly requested to engage, engage, engage. And you are only making matters worse by incorrectly interpreting his withdrawal as "giving up" on the relationship--and, if you've made the mistake of actually verbalizing this to him, it only serves to make him more withdrawn and undermines his trust. "Do this or it means you don't want to stay married..." and similar ultimatums are a recipe for a failed relationship.

 

The better course to follow? Give him the space he is requesting and calmly, compassionately, and lovingly reassure him that, when he is ready to discuss his feelings, you will be there for him. And, until he's ready to talk things out, you're going to honor his wishes and give him the space and time he needs to process his feelings. Notice I included time, not just space. That you were quickly able to emotionally process this, doesn't mean he has the same capacity. And he's not "wrong" for needing more time and space. He is who he is. He must have some pretty great qualities, otherwise you wouldn't have married him!

 

Have you noticed your comments are very much focused on your husband? In couples therapy, there is a saying that goes, "Just worry about keeping clean your own side of the street. And let him worry about his." Stop thinking this is "his problem" and start thing this is "our problem". Stop focusing on his behavior and assigning all of your insecurities to it, "Why is he doing this to me? This must mean he wants out of the relationship" and so on. Instead, ask yourself what you can do to help the relationship get back on track? Are you creating the safe emotional space for him to feel secure enough to communicate when he's ready? Or, does he feel you are pushy, judgmental, dismissive of his feelings, condescending, or that you blame him for all or most of what went wrong? Maybe you've done none of these things. Or, maybe you have done all of them? The important point is to engage yourself in being part of the solution and take ownership for your role, and stop worrying about his role. Focus on controlling the only person in this relationship you can: YOU.

 

Lastly, it would be wise of you take advantage of the "time out" in a positive way and take care of yourself. Instead of resisting his desire for time and space, accept it, and take this opportunity to calm your own agitated feelings and soothe your own emotional hurt. Exercise, get outdoors, stay hydrated, get adequate sleep, meditate, read positive books, listen to uplifting music/podcasts, and so on. These things will help reduce your overall level of stress and give you a better physical foundation and better emotional perspective from which to address things. 

 

 

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wife86 - I wish you the very best however this ends.

 

But, it occurred to me that the real issue is whether your husband wants to give up on himself. The swinging activity triggered a long buried and difficult emotional experience for him. The wound is open, it's bleeding and festering. The best action now is for him to HEAL it. It's time for him to move forward and become the full person he wants to be. To realize his full potential which will allow him to be fully engaged in your relationship, the life of your children when they arrive and with himself.

 

And he's so fortunate to have you there to help him. To love him, the hold him, to offer patience and non-judgemental support.

 

The swinging has offered him an opportunity to deal with his buried challenges. I truly believe there is a silver lining here if he wants to embrace it, and from what I've read, he'd be crazy to blow up the two of you instead.

 

Best to you both.

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On 5/11/2022 at 8:05 AM, wife86 said:

he can't unsee that moment where I was enjoying myself he just keeps getting reminded of it and it's hard for him.

I found this comment interesting because for all of us in our poly family (hubby, Red, Lora, Clair and me) it is the total opposite.  We are happy, satisfied, and proud when the one we love has great sex with someone else in the family, or even someone outside the family.  And the one receiving the great sex is grateful and gives the credit to the person(s) who love us, not the outside sex partner.

 

It wouldn't be wise at this point for you to tell your husband that you had an enjoyable time and give him the credit for it.  Rather my amateur, out-there suggestion would be to do what my husband did for me as we became nonmonogamous: he made it clear that I could keep my ex-fiancé as a boyfriend with no expectation of reciprocity on his part.  While I continued having sex with my ex, and a had a short term fling with another guy, he remained monogamous with me.  It made me feel powerful, loved, appreciated.  Perhaps you should offer to let him play while making it clear that you have no desire to do so.  I think it would be a boost for his self-esteem to have a loving wife totally satisfied with him and some pleasure on the side with your knowledge, permission, and encouragement. 

 

(BTW, After two years of his showing me by example what love really is, I just didn't let him, I wanted him to play with other women.  The controlling thing for me was that when the situation was right, I offered my husband to a friend or acquaintance of my choosing, then told my husband what he was to do.)

Edited by couplers

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23 hours ago, couplers said:

I found this comment interesting because for all of us in our poly family (hubby, Red, Lora, Clair and me) it is the total opposite.  We are happy, satisfied, and proud when the one we love has great sex with someone else in the family, or even someone outside the family.  And the one receiving the great sex is grateful and gives the credit to the person(s) who love us, not the outside sex partner.

 

It wouldn't be wise at this point for you to tell your husband that you had an enjoyable time and give him the credit for it.  Rather my amateur, out-there suggestion would be to do what my husband did for me as we became nonmonogamous: he made it clear that I could keep my ex-fiancé as a boyfriend with no expectation of reciprocity on his part.  While I continued having sex with my ex, and a had a short term fling with another guy, he remained monogamous with me.  It made me feel powerful, loved, appreciated.  Perhaps you should offer to let him play while making it clear that you have no desire to do so.  I think it would be a boost for his self-esteem to have a loving wife totally satisfied with him and some pleasure on the side with your knowledge, permission, and encouragement. 

 

(BTW, After two years of his showing me by example what love really is, I just didn't let him, I wanted him to play with other women.  The controlling thing for me was that when the situation was right, I offered my husband to a friend or acquaintance of my choosing, then told my husband what he was to do.)

Not gonna repeat my mistake by dragging him into another lifestyle he is not comfortable and also the big disclaimer is that if I allow it and he ends up finding nobody then that could make the situation ten times worse, the big disclaimer on this lifestyle is that it's always easier for us who are women to find someone to have fun with than the guys.

I experimented from when I was 18 to 22 and had no problem at all finding guys but the same is not really true in reverse when it comes to guys.

And my husband is a bit shy and introverted he had only been with two women before me and one of those experiences lead to a trauma that caused all of this.

I would never deny him if he asked me but I am just wondering if he does try to find someone outside of our marriage, but then ends up finding nobody and feel even worse because of it.

I honestly feel if that happened it would break him completely I just don't think he is wired for that kind of relationship.

Edited by wife86
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On 5/19/2022 at 6:13 PM, AndrewandAnn said:

That's the right move. I'm glad to see you two taking this concrete step towards getting things back on track.

 

A few things to add:

 

When a person exhibits the kinds of behaviors (you are describing) being displayed by your husband, it's important for you to realize they are not necessarily "directed" towards you. Generally, when a person closes himself off (i.e., asks for space; emotionally and physically withdraws; becomes uncommunicative, etc.) due to some kind of traumatic event, it is because he feels emotionally overwhelmed. In this moment of extreme vulnerability and confusion, the last thing he needs or wants from you is to be constantly requested to engage, engage, engage. And you are only making matters worse by incorrectly interpreting his withdrawal as "giving up" on the relationship--and, if you've made the mistake of actually verbalizing this to him, it only serves to make him more withdrawn and undermines his trust. "Do this or it means you don't want to stay married..." and similar ultimatums are a recipe for a failed relationship.

 

The better course to follow? Give him the space he is requesting and calmly, compassionately, and lovingly reassure him that, when he is ready to discuss his feelings, you will be there for him. And, until he's ready to talk things out, you're going to honor his wishes and give him the space and time he needs to process his feelings. Notice I included time, not just space. That you were quickly able to emotionally process this, doesn't mean he has the same capacity. And he's not "wrong" for needing more time and space. He is who he is. He must have some pretty great qualities, otherwise you wouldn't have married him!

 

Have you noticed your comments are very much focused on your husband? In couples therapy, there is a saying that goes, "Just worry about keeping clean your own side of the street. And let him worry about his." Stop thinking this is "his problem" and start thing this is "our problem". Stop focusing on his behavior and assigning all of your insecurities to it, "Why is he doing this to me? This must mean he wants out of the relationship" and so on. Instead, ask yourself what you can do to help the relationship get back on track? Are you creating the safe emotional space for him to feel secure enough to communicate when he's ready? Or, does he feel you are pushy, judgmental, dismissive of his feelings, condescending, or that you blame him for all or most of what went wrong? Maybe you've done none of these things. Or, maybe you have done all of them? The important point is to engage yourself in being part of the solution and take ownership for your role, and stop worrying about his role. Focus on controlling the only person in this relationship you can: YOU.

 

Lastly, it would be wise of you take advantage of the "time out" in a positive way and take care of yourself. Instead of resisting his desire for time and space, accept it, and take this opportunity to calm your own agitated feelings and soothe your own emotional hurt. Exercise, get outdoors, stay hydrated, get adequate sleep, meditate, read positive books, listen to uplifting music/podcasts, and so on. These things will help reduce your overall level of stress and give you a better physical foundation and better emotional perspective from which to address things. 

 

 

 

On 5/19/2022 at 8:51 PM, lovefest04 said:

wife86 - I wish you the very best however this ends.

 

But, it occurred to me that the real issue is whether your husband wants to give up on himself. The swinging activity triggered a long buried and difficult emotional experience for him. The wound is open, it's bleeding and festering. The best action now is for him to HEAL it. It's time for him to move forward and become the full person he wants to be. To realize his full potential which will allow him to be fully engaged in your relationship, the life of your children when they arrive and with himself.

 

And he's so fortunate to have you there to help him. To love him, the hold him, to offer patience and non-judgemental support.

 

The swinging has offered him an opportunity to deal with his buried challenges. I truly believe there is a silver lining here if he wants to embrace it, and from what I've read, he'd be crazy to blow up the two of you instead.

 

Best to you both.

Thank you and yes I have given him space but his time out now for him is deciding to move to his brother for awhile he has been living there for a week now and we did go to a councilor a sex positive one, but that I feel only made things worse since she seemed to take my side too much and sort of belittled how he was feeling.

I honestly was shocked at how she put everything on him and he must have felt pushed up against a wall which is precisely what I tried to avoid, but he made the descision to move out a day after that.

My husbands family and my family have been asking questions and are wondering what is going on and have speculated that I have cheated on him, my husband made it clear that has not happened and has defended me.


But yeah things have gotten difficult he has moved out and we have spoken maybe twice since he left and he has no desire to go back to the councilor again.

So yeah alone in the house trying to stay positive but it feels like he has just checked out at this point.
 

Edited by wife86

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On 6/6/2022 at 2:40 PM, wife86 said:

 

Thank you and yes I have given him space but his time out now for him is deciding to move to his brother for awhile he has been living there for a week now and we did go to a councilor a sex positive one, but that I feel only made things worse since she seemed to take my side too much and sort of belittled how he was feeling.

I honestly was shocked at how she put everything on him and he must have felt pushed up against a wall which is precisely what I tried to avoid, but he made the descision to move out a day after that.

My husbands family and my family have been asking questions and are wondering what is going on and have speculated that I have cheated on him, my husband made it clear that has not happened and has defended me.


But yeah things have gotten difficult he has moved out and we have spoken maybe twice since he left and he has no desire to go back to the councilor again.

So yeah alone in the house trying to stay positive but it feels like he has just checked out at this point.
 

An unfortunate situation.

 

And, as you have probably realized, not all counselors are created equal. Like any other profession, you have a broad spectrum of capabilities disbursed among a bell curve. Most counselors are solid. A few are excellent. And a few are incompetent dunces. You had the misfortune of finding the latter.

 

Appears your relationship is going to pay a very high price for your little foray into the deep end of the lifestyle when you were far from being ready.

 

If you're not resigned to the relationship failing, I suggest you keep the lines of communication open and remain positive and engaged to the extent possible. In time, he may come around. But, you'll eventually have to make a judgement call, if you haven't already (frankly, I suspect you have.)

 

Wishing you luck.

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On 5/16/2022 at 1:34 PM, Married-adventure said:

Hello There, I did hesitate before I write to you but I'm the male half of couple and one day I was in the same situation as your husband and I did react somehow just like him!!!

 

Let me explain to you how I felt maybe you will understand how to deal with situation. We met this lovely couple and things was going very well both having fun and enjoying our time but as some did explain to you seening your Mrs having fun with someone else for the 1st time it has it's effect on some men for the first time but when I saw my wife getting the same pleasure I'm giving her ( even better) I felt threatened felt unsecured felt like OMG she can do this!!! As much as I was enjoying the company of the other guy wife which she was doing her best to keep me occupied, I didn't see all her efforts I've only seen my Mrs opening her legs for another man and I did forget all the times we did wait for this to happen and I just simply stopped and left just like your husband did! 

 

Wouldn't deny it took me time to understand but you need to make him feel your heart fully with him and will always be, you will need him to feel he is the main man in your life and no one can take over his place, make him understand that your climax happen even when you play with your self and you wouldn't need another man to make you happy cause he is the only one can do but there lots of things can make any human been climax and do not forget to give him what he love the most ( lots of wild sex the way he likes it ) during this recovery time and he should be fine after little while and I can tell you he will be the one who organise it after this time all the best🤞 

 

So much great insight, input, advice here. Wow what a community! 

 

I agree with so much here and my heart aches for you. 

 

My initial advice to you would have been to show him how amazing he is unusually, sexually, how much he curls your toes, pleasures you, how much you enjoy and love him in your life together, and I would have gotten detailed about it. I've had to do that myself. 

 

But as I read to the last posts - 

 

Dear, your husband needs deep inner healing.  From whom, what source, that is something you will need to research and investigate that works best for the two of you and counseling is the vehicle used but what type. I'd start with the inner healing. I have seen this work for people over the years.

 

 

Edited by herpob

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On 6/25/2022 at 10:58 AM, herpob said:

 

So much great insight, input, advice here. Wow what a community! 

 

I agree with so much here and my heart aches for you. 

 

My initial advice to you would have been to show him how amazing he is unusually, sexually, how much he curls your toes, pleasures you, how much you enjoy and love him in your life together, and I would have gotten detailed about it. I've had to do that myself. 

 

But as I read to the last posts - 

 

Dear, your husband needs deep inner healing.  From whom, what source, that is something you will need to research and investigate that works best for the two of you and counseling is the vehicle used but what type. I'd start with the inner healing. I have seen this work for people over the years.

 

 

He asked me for a divorce a few days ago and he already contacted a lawyer and told me I needed to do the same thing since we can't have the same lawyer.

Our familes and friends know we are divorcing but not the details of course everyone both my family and his are shocked and I just feel very numb right now.

Dodging questions by our social circle who seem completely baffled by the whole situation, my husband has made it clear I did nothing wrong because I was asked by my best friend if I cheated on him the other day and everyone seems to think I cheated on him.

Even my friends like him a lot and they see that he is hurting and has changed and seem distant and everyone is blaming me without saying anything despite him making it clear I had done nothing wrong.

 

Edited by wife86
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I don’t think it was the swinging. There is a deeper problem going on. Could he be cheating? 

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I think that you may be right about the swinging being the cause.

It certainly was the trigger event.

 

Somewhere in the back of my mind I am sensing avoidance behaviour.

If he divorces, then he need not face whatever it is that is eating at him?

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Then again I may be far off the mark.

 

I really wish we had  some insight from him.

 I have no reason to disbelief the account given , but it is by its nature incomplete. Therefore these are all just guesses ,with each of us filling in the blanks from our own experiences and observations.

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So sorry to hear this, but as it has been said before: swinging is a relationship magnifying glass...it will make a great relationship even better, but it will show every crack and flaw in a poor relationship. While I believe that swinging was the thing that caused the flaw to be shown, I don't think it was the event that caused the flaw...that has been there for awhile. It is HIS flaw, and not yours, but that doesn't make it any better or hurt any less. You just need to remember that it wasn't you. Wish we could somehow do more for you other than send you our support and hope. Thanks for letting us know what is happening (I was just thinking that I should ask for an update in your situation). We continue to be here for you...

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Sorry to hear this :( For what's it worth, from the very beginning I have thought there was some deeper issue here.  There are plenty of "swinging didn't work out well" stories here, but this one just always seemed to have some hidden layers that no one knows except him, and he may even be repressing them and not fully understand it himself.  A relationship can run seemingly ok on simple inertia for a long time even with a huge problem lurking under the surface.  But when that stressor comes, the problem is let loose.  Usually it's money issues, family conflict, etc.  In this case it was swinging. Whatever the trigger was really doesn't matter, what does matter is there was such a deep underlying problem.  That is what needs to be worked on. Once something like that is set free, just removing the trigger doesn't mean the problem goes back in its box.

 

Wishing you all the best in this difficult time.

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11 hours ago, wife86 said:

He asked me for a divorce a few days ago and he already contacted a lawyer and told me I needed to do the same thing since we can't have the same lawyer.

Our familes and friends know we are divorcing but not the details of course everyone both my family and his are shocked and I just feel very numb right now.

Dodging questions by our social circle who seem completely baffled by the whole situation, my husband has made it clear I did nothing wrong because I was asked by my best friend if I cheated on him the other day and everyone seems to think I cheated on him.

Even my friends like him a lot and they see that he is hurting and has changed and seem distant and everyone is blaming me without saying anything despite him making it clear I had done nothing wrong.
 

 

An unfortunate ending.

 

Contrary to some others, I will not dismiss or rationalize away the adverse role swinging played.

 

Most relationships are not built for the introduction of outside sexual partners. That doesn't make them bad or weak relationships, or inherently flawed. Research shows monogamy is still overwhelmingly the relationship ideal.

 

Did your relationship have some issues? I have no doubt it did. And that would make it just like every other relationship, because ALL relationships have issues.

 

Relationships are delicate things; they exist through a careful balancing act. They can ebb and flow with a certain amount of stress and still stay intact.  But, when we introduce too much stress... relationships can fall apart. We have only to look at the large spike in the rate of divorce during the pandemic to see how this played out in real time.

 

At this stage, I suggest... no, I strongly encourage you to stay in counseling. You will have your own demons to wrestle with and having access to a counselor will prove to be an asset.

 

Best of luck.

 

PS "Everybody" isn't blaming you. That is only your perception. I'm sure you haven't conducted a poll 😉

 

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I guess I've been remiss in not following this thread, but I'm very sorry for what you're dealing with here.

 

I tend to agree with the posters who are suggesting that there is something else going on for him. Perhaps he felt uncomfortable with something else in the marriage, even simply a mid-life crisis type of situation, and thought swinging would patch it up, but instead amplified the problems. I don't think this is really about you.

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Sorry to hear the outcome is not positive for you!  It does sound like there is a lot more going on here then what the swinging caused.  I will say this though as someone who has went through this before.  Divorce is not the end of the world.  In fact it is one of the best things that ever happened to me.  You now have a chance at a new beginning and the journey may just lead to something way better then what you had.  Take care of yourself and good luck on your future wherever it might lead you.  

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    • By Falcon88
      My wife and I have been together for almost 25 years. Through out the years sex has been fantastic. No complaints on either side. We are very faithful and never cheated on each other.
       
      Then one day two years ago we were having a few drinks and watching porn. We watch all kinds of porn. That night we were watching some really good gangbangs. Curiously, I turn to my wife and asked her if she ever thought about swinging and group sex. If it ever crossed her mind. Surprisingly, she looked at me and said she’s been thinking about it for while. So we ended up talking about swinging and group sex for hours. We got online and read stories on experiences about swinging and group sex. The pros and cons. It turned me on taking about it but at the same time I got a crazy feeling in my stomach. Nerves I guess.
       
      So to make a very long story short we ended up having an open marriage and took up swinging. We both decided to have (safe) sex with other people until we felt comfortable on having our first group sex. All this took very long planning and preparing, especially mentally.
       
      Finally last November we planned out her first group sex. We carefully selected three familiar friends to join in the fun. Of course they decided to do it and agreed on our rules.
       
      So, it finally happened that November night. I really enjoyed watching my wife get screwed by more than one man. She had the time of her life. She had multiple orgasms one after another. The crazy feeling never left my stomach but I really enjoyed watching though. After the guys left we kicked back and talked about our experience. Then we go back about agreeing on what we’re doing and never to do it without the other knowing. We keep an oath of trust. Every time we have a date with someone we let each other know. It’s always planned out days in advance so it will never interfere with our personal lives. We have a great understanding.
       
      Since last November she’s been involved in several group sex averaging 3-4 guys each time. Of course I joined in most of the time. Lots of lube is needed. But now she wants to go a little further. She wants to do a gangbang of 6-8 guys. Seriously.
       
      Lately she’s been playing with large toys to get her vagina ready. She wants to try double-vaginal penetration. I’ve been preparing her by inserting a dildo in her while I’m inside. Very carefully with lots of lube. We practice every time we have sex. She even carefully inserts a large thick toy in her vagina while watching a movie and keeps it in there. Yes, our sexual curiosities has increased tremendously. My wife wants to explore even more and I’m all in.
       
      Well the day we both have been looking forward too occurred this past weekend. We managed to round up 7 guys for an all night gangbang. It involved a lot of planning and phone calls. We’ve noticed that guys will be all in at first then drop out later. But eventually we got things going. That night when everyone arrived she was kinda nervous but excited to have that many cocks at once. Most of all, she finally had double penetration in her vagina from two guys for the first time. The strange thing I seemed more nervous than her. Lol But she absolutely enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed watching her. She came hard many times. She doesn’t like anal so that wasn’t attempted.
       
      So after joining in all the fun and after almost two hours of great sex we had the grand finale. My sexy wife knelt down and we all gave her an awesome bukkake. Her face was drenched with cum. It was one heck of a hot night. After everyone left we took a long shower and stayed up almost all night talking about it. We were both so turned on that we were already making plans for the next one. But we are gonna take a break for about three weeks. It’s just going to be me and her for now.
       
      Yesterday she mentioned about having a messy cum sex in the near future after watching a great creampie movie. I was like, a messy cum sex? She asked me what I would think about her having a messy gooey bukkake and creampie night. Having about 4 guys cum all over her face while 4 guys cum inside her. Then rubbing the cum all over her breasts. Man, just listening to her drove me crazy. My wife was willing to be explosive. But that would take lots of planning because we are very cautious. My wife cannot get pregnant anymore so that’s really something we don’t have to worry about. It’s about the unprotected sex. We do know many cool friends well enough that we can trust but still we must remain careful. Yet, I’m sure it’s gonna happen very soon.
       
      I’ve been asked if we have taken it too far. If there’s actually any sign of regrets. Some close friends wonder about my wife wanting too much now. Our answer is no because we enjoy it and have a deep understanding and trust. We are responsible adults and are having fun. We first talk about what we’re going to do and have to both agree 100%. Any sign of doubt from either side we will not do it. We are friends with our sex partners but no feelings are involved or ever shared. We have proven that to ourselves already.
    • By AdamGunn2
      It was a fairly typical night at D.J.s Island, an early autumn evening. Mary and I hadn’t set anything up in advance, we’d decided to go almost at the last moment. From the second we entered the door our radar was beaming across the club, searching for a couple that might be searching for what we were also interested in - an enjoyable tryst.
       
      Mary took a few minutes to change into what she called a ‘trolling outfit.’ As I remember, that night it was a black babydoll with a loose bodice, thong, low heels. Many men admired her legs as I checked the forty or so women, many as scantily clad as my wife. None of our regular playmates seemed to be in attendance that evening, but we had our customs, we weren’t concerned. Perhaps an hour and a half later, I sat at a table next to the dance floor, Mary was on her feet, on the parquet, moving her body, seeing if anyone would move in. A slow sequence of men approached her, danced with her. Some would take liberties such as moving their hands under her garment, feeling the small of her back, perhaps place their palm on the roundness of her ass.
       
      I’d seen this many times before, I waited for one of two reactions.
       
      The first was that she’d spin away from the man; it signified she wasn’t interested in what he had to offer.
       
      The second was that she’d get closer, I’d watch her whisper in his ear. I knew the question, “Where’s your wife?” Some of them would shake their heads, they were attending as one of the few single men the club allowed, and when they received Mary’s response, they’d move away - that’s not what we were looking for at the moment.
       
      But the man might indicate where his wife was dancing a few feet away. When this kind of thing happened, Mary would glance to me and give our special signal - she’d put one hand on the back of her head, one on her stomach. When I got the cue, I’d come out, we’d dance as a foursome.
       
      As I approached, a man grasped the elbow of a tall attractive lady who was more modestly dressed, at least for the club. There was no conversation on the dance floor, the heavy volume of music and the thumping of the bass wouldn’t allow for speech. But I could tell the woman was interested in me, the four of us paired off and I often found myself facing this vixen. It was obvious they were as interested in us as I was in them, I could tell by the way Mary was rubbing against the man that she felt the same.
       
      After a couple of songs, Mary led the way off the floor, holding his hand, leading us off into a corner away from the speakers. As we sat, the man said, “I’m Ed, this is my wife, Marilyn.”
       
      Marilyn and I softly shook hands, I believe she raised the hem of her skirt to give me a view of her upper thighs. Ed had no problem seeing Mary’s legs, or where they met - she was sitting so that the babydoll was gathered to her side, leaning forward so her globes were exposed to his view.
       
      “Do you come here often?” Ed asked.
       
      “Every few weeks,” I responded, “you?”
       
      “This is our first time here.” Mary gave him a look that asked for further info. “We’re just starting this,” he admitted.
       
      Marilyn picked it up. “We’ve only had one time with a couple of friends. We liked it, heard about this place, decided to see if we could get into more trouble.”
       
      “Trouble’s our middle name,” I joked.
       
      Our conversation continued, where do you live, what movies have you seen lately, etc. It was a screen, of course, we were all calculating if the four of us would be pleasurable bedmates. I paid my attention to Marilyn, my wife had told me numerous times not to worry about her, she can take care of herself. My hand found Marilyn’s knee, she smiled at me, encouraged me to reach a tad higher. We bent towards each other, our mouths met.
       
      Marilyn opened her lips to me, the kiss was ardent, her mouth moist. She licked at my upper lip, her hand fondled the back of my neck. Our tongues clashed, promising cupidity, mimicking what I presumed our bodies might be doing in a few scant moments.
       
      We broke for a moment, Marilyn invited, “Would you guys want to go to one of the rooms?”
       
      I, of course, was all for it, but then I heard Mary. “Uh, not right now. But thanks.”
       
      We’ve always had the guideline that if one person doesn’t want to do something, she speaks for both of us. Regretfully, I pecked at Marilyn’s lips a last time, we stood, went separate ways.
       
      “You’re not upset, are you?” Mary asked me.
       
      “Of course not, not at all. You’re not in the mood?”
       
      “Oh, I’m in the mood all right, just not with Ed.”
       
      “Something wrong with him?” I asked.
       
      “I tried to get him interested,” Mary revealed, “but his kiss was a little cold, indifferent. I put my hand on his leg, he was too busy watching you and Marilyn, he never responded. My guess is that if we went into a room, he’d be watching you two, I’m not even sure he’d get hard for me.” It was a reasonable thought, it had happened to us a couple times before. “Hope you don’t mind, bet she’d have been a firecracker.”
       
      “Maybe. But you’re a firecracker too.”
       
      We headed back to the dance floor, in search of another couple.
    • By Mistral Wind
      I'm Mistral, and my husband Tim and I attended the most fabulous swingers party the previous weekend at our new friends' large manor house. We were filled with glee when they invited us back the following weekend for another cum-filled night of debauchery. They also suggested we bring some friends if we liked.
       
      John and Wendy were a couple we knew from our charity work. They were young, idealistic, and very open-minded. We didn't think they were swingers, but the subject had come up in casual conversation. They were curious but remained evasive about their thoughts on the subject. We decided all we could do was broach the issue and see what happened.
       
      The next evening, John and Wendy arrived after Tim and Mistral. They followed the crowd upstairs. As they climbed the stairs amongst the excited and bubbly people, Wendy remembered the afternoon and that phone call. John's voice was nervous and excited, "Hi, Babe! We have a party invite from Tim and Mistral to join them at their friends' swinger party tonight. I know we have fantasized about this. How do you feel?"
       
      Wendy felt panic surge through her stomach, excitement flooded her pussy, and her nipples perked up hard. "Wow, that is short notice. What happens if we don't like it?"
       
      "Babe, I will never make you," John promised. "We both have to want this to happen. I am sorry to spring it on you like this, and maybe we should forget it then."
       
      Wendy said, "No, John, I did not say 'NO,' just what happens? When we fantasized about swinging, you said you would love to watch me in a group of men getting fucked by them all. Are you sure about that?"
       
      Wendy had visualized these events, wishing desperately that John would take the lead and say, 'We will do it.' In their role-playing, they often pretended to be at a swingers party changing partners. One of Wendy's games was to roll up two large pillows, tie a belt around with a strap-on dildo attached to the belt, put her large vibrator into the cup, and ride the pillows, getting fucked hard by the vibrator. John would come from behind and fuck her arse or go to the front, and she would suck him to a spluttering cum inside her mouth. In her mind, these were real men fucking her, and she shared herself with the men, and John loved the attention and continuous pleasure.
       
      In reply to Wendy's question, John said, "Oh yes, while I am having the same with two girls, one on my face and one on my cock, I would love it! Babe, I am sure. How about you?"
       
      Wendy gulped. The secret she had held in her head for so long was about to become real. "Let's do it. Let's go! Are you sure you won't feel jealous watching me come on some man's cock with another somewhere else inside me? I don't have a thing to wear. What do I need?"
       
      John said, "The theme is An Officer and a Gentleman. I can go dressed as a USA Army General using my dad's old uniform. You wear your sexy red top and skirt. You know, the top that doesn't come all the way down, the skirt with the elastic waistband hanging low on you, and your suspenders and stockings. No thong, no bra. You will show off your pussy to her best. My cock is getting hard just thinking about it!"
       
      Wendy replied, "I will be ready when you get home. Your dad's uniform will need a press, and I will prepare everything. See you at 6:00 tonight, darling."
       
      Her hands were shaking when she replaced the receiver breathing shallowly and jerkily as the realization hit home that tonight it would happen! During the afternoon, she got John's clothes ready, checked her dress, found the right shoes, and laid it all out, ready for later. A long hot soak where she shaved her pussy bare using John's razor and made sure her legs and armpits were perfect.
       
      Resting on the bed, she shuffled through the videos they kept hidden from guests and found her favorite, "Suzie's Gang Bang." A fast-action orgy video in which this girl gets fucked by five men altogether. Wendy often watched this and used her vibrator when John was away or working late. Sometimes when her cycle was at ovulation, her sex drive was limitless, and she would role-play watching the action.
       
      The action on the screen hotted up as the men were penetrating Susie left, right, and center. A closeup on-screen of pussy open and dripping. A cock slid into it, wetting itself with her fluids. It slid out, rubbed against her tiny rosebud anus, and gently but firmly slid into opening her slowly. At the same time, another cock pushed into her pussy. Wendy loved this part and rolled onto her side, turned on the vibrator, and sunk it into her arse. Her fingers slid into her pussy, working gently to pleasure her clit. Her hips were thrusting back and forward faster and faster as her climax built. She reached down and switched on her biggest vibrator, a black cock that was as real as it gets. The vibrator was thrust inside her cunt, and she moaned and moaned herself into a massive climax.
       
      Wendy relaxed, watched the movie, enjoyed the post-climactic euphoria, and gently played with her clit. In her mind, she watched the swingers' party unfold - couples fucking, girl-girl, MFM, and FMF at this imaginary party. Inside her head, she had been desperate to fulfill these needs, and it was finally coming true.
       
      In the past, Wendy was often on the verge of saying to John, "Let's try swinging!" She always shrank away from the responsibility in case he rejected the reality. Fantasies are fine, but who knows what the reality will bring? After so many conversations about swinging, so many nearly made decisions, and all those fantasies that included imaginary swinging, they had chosen to go ahead. With an overwhelming certainty, she laid back, smiled, and said to herself, "Tonight, I will fuck a roomful of men. I hope I don't disappoint them; my clit is tingling with anticipation!"
       
      Wendy switched on the vibrator, and her hands moved over her breasts, pinching her nipples and then down to her pussy. Her hips were rocking back and forth. She rolled the pillows up, tied the belt around, clipped the vibrator into the belt, and climbed on top, sinking the vibrator deep inside her pussy and working herself to another peak. She closed her eyes and started rocking harder and harder. Then, a voice penetrated the action, and John stood naked and erect in front of her. She blushed with embarrassment, and he thrust his cock into her mouth. It tasted slightly salty. He lasted about 10 seconds and then dumped the load down her throat, bringing her to a climax.
       
      John smiled and gently rolled Wendy into his arms. "You looked fantastic when I walked in and found you fucking your brains out with your vibrator on top of those pillows. If I feel as proud of you at the party as I did then and how aroused it made me, I can't wait to watch you fuck the guys. Will you enjoy watching me and sharing my pleasure?"
       
      "Oh yes," she said in her little girl's voice, "I will love watching you; maybe I can do a 69 with her and lick her pussy while you thrust in and out and feel your balls contract when you come inside her."
       
      "Mmmmmm, I wonder if all the girls will be bi? I wonder if I could do a girly threesome? Mmmmmm, I wonder if I can get two men to come at the same time inside me. That would be fun too."
       
      "Can I be your vixen tonight and play dirty?" John smiled and spoke softly, the care showing in his voice.
       
      "Babe, we will have a fabulous time together and with other couples or whatever, don't be shy to try what you want, and feel able to say NO if you don't want. Above all, enjoy yourself, and pleasure comes first," she reminded him.
       
      So back to the party! They gathered around a pool table, with the group laughing and joking about the action starting all around. Wendy looked at the two girls on the pool table with their legs over the shoulders of four guys who were licking and sucking nipples, pussies, and one man had her toes in his mouth, sucking them like a breastfeeding baby. Wendy started to pant. She could not get her breath. Her heart was racing, her knees buckled, and she began to shake. Tears flooded down her face. John cried, "What's up! What's up!"
       
      Wendy sank against the woman beside her shaking uncontrollably. The girl instinctively put her arms around Wendy and held her close, supporting Wendy against herself.
       
      "Sushhhhh baby, you are all right!" the woman cooed, "What is worrying you? You don't have to do any of this if you are afraid."
       
      Wendy snuggled against the comforting figure, put her face against the warm, feminine neck, and nuzzled her cheek, kissing it gently. Her hand moved without command to the woman's breast, and she felt the nipple harden as she caressed it gently. The shaking was easing now, and Wendy felt a little bolder. She turned the woman's face towards her, looked into her eyes, and moved forward slowly, anticipating a gentle and subtle kiss. The tongue was not stiff and probing like a man's but gentle, enticing, and exciting. Wendy's free hand moved down to the woman's belly and softly caressed the feminine rounded shape moving slowly downwards to find that sweetly perfumed garden where a secret lotus stem was waiting to be stroked.
       
      Hands caressed breasts and pussy. Now both girls turned on to each other. John watched, fascinated. He had never seen Wendy with another woman, and his cock raged hard inside his pants. As if in a dream, Wendy pushed the girl gently onto the pool table so her bottom was on edge. She bent down, opened her legs, put them on her shoulders, and snuggled her face between them, savoring the beautiful feminine smells and tastes. Gently opening up the inner lips with her tongue, finding her clit and teasing, teasing just off the edge, making her wait for the full pleasure. Female wetness was seeping all over Wendy's face as the girl was getting nearer and nearer to release.

      A few minutes passed, and the girl pushed Wendy off, got onto the table, and said, "Get up here with me. We can pleasure each other now!"

      Wendy climbed up, the shakes all gone now. Her pussy was soaking wet, and her breasts were tender with erect nipples and very sensitive. She lifted her skirt, revealing the stockings and suspenders without anything else. The two girls turned head to toe and started a frantic licking expedition to cunt heaven.

      Wendy felt a body get up behind her and present a long stiff penis to her backside. The man tried gently to insert it in her cunt where the girl was licking hard; it slipped in and thrust a few times. The girl firmly grassed it and slid it up the crack between her buttocks, tickling her anus with the end. Wendy's whole valley was wet and slippery. The long thin cock nudged open her arse and gently snaked into her bottom.

      Wendy's heart raced again; this was what she had dreamed of for months! What surprised her was that the cock inside her was giving almost more pleasure than having her pussy sucked. The combination was too great. A massive climax took over, and she nearly fainted with joy.

      As she fell over the edge into an abyss of pleasure, the man behind speeded up, grunted, and sank deep inside her, flooding her back passage with his fluids. Wendy opened her eyes and looked up at John, who stood open-mouthed, watching her antics. He had a girl on her knees sucking his rigid cock, but his eyes were transfixed on Wendy. She smiled, blew him a kiss, and licked her lips covered in pussy juice from the girl beneath her. John shuddered and spent down the girl's throat pumping his hips in time with his spurts.

      He gently pushed the girl to one side, staggered to Wendy with his pants down by his feet, and said, "Well, you are hot; I could not believe how sexy you are. I am so proud of you; better than my wildest dreams was that fantastic to watch."

      Wendy thought to herself, "Why did I panic? This is fantastic, better than the fantasies we have. This is real sex."
       
      A couple came up to them. The man smiled. "I am Tommy. This is Raquel, my wife. We just watched you and nearly came with you. Would you join us at the table for a foursome?"
       
      Wendy reached down and felt his cock inside his pants. It was semi-hard and big. She turned to John and Raquel, "Let's get together. We can play here or in one of the smaller rooms with a nice bed?"

      They entered the room together. Wendy pushed down her long skirt and flipped off her top. She was naked except for her stockings and suspenders. Raquel slipped out of her long ball gown, revealing a very firm 36's and a sweet little tight arse on top of a pair of legs to die for. She was near perfect. Tommy was muscular with a flat hard six-pack stomach and an erection starting to grow to full size as he gently stroked himself. John was naked in a flash, only half erect after his escapade down the other girl's throat. Wendy turned to Tommy, who scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to the king-sized bed, his erect cock bouncing up and down as he stepped forward. Raquel reached out for John, smiled softly, and whispered, "Come and play with me and let me get you hard again. We will watch them while I regenerate your erection."

      John looked down at her fair perfection, those soft curves all running down into the valley between her legs. A golden pussy fuzz glinted in the soft lights. He reached for her and pulled her towards him. A first gentle kiss, lips opened up, and tongues tenderly searched each other out, exploring each other. His hands held her back, then softly slid down over her buttocks, caressing that incredible apple shape of her bottom. She pulled him harder into her body.

      As Raquel responded to the stimuli, her hand slid down to feel his penis, which was gently growing back to a man-size stiffness. Their kisses became more ardent, and deeper tongues were now demanding, not exploring. Hands moved over her body.

      John broke off the long kiss and searched her neck with his lips and tongue. She shuddered, and he felt her open her legs and move into his body. She thrust her pubis against his leg and started to move up and down. He could feel the wetness spreading along his thigh. John had now reached her breast with his lips and was attacking her nipple, which was bone hard. Raquel started to pant and squirm harder against his leg.

      Suddenly Raquel broke away and fell back onto the bed beside Tommy and Wendy's entwined bodies. Raquel reached up, and John dived onto her, gently landing without his weight on her. Raquel squirmed around so she was head-to-toe with him, with her on her back. Raquel reached up and grasped his nearly hard cock. She slipped her mouth over the head as she pulled back his tight foreskin and started to suck him to total hardness.

      John's head was between her legs. His mouth opened up her secret garden exploring the sides and little creases. He could tell her clit was begging for attention, and he made her wait. He felt careful with his tongue and could feel the hardness and swelling around her clit, which was now erect like a mini penis. His tongue explored her depths and penetrated her cunt, where he would follow with his cock shortly. Raquel was getting agitated and frustrated. She wanted attention on her clit, so John moved his tongue down the crease between her legs out of her cunt and down to her anus. As it reached the little rosebud, she shuddered and thrust her hips against his face.

      Raquel was working hard on making his cock whole again and hard enough to get inside her to ease that burning desire. She threw him over onto his back, climbed on top, grasped his penis in her hand, aimed for her inner lips, and squatted down with a satisfied sigh. John tried to thrust up against her downstrokes, and they found a comfortable rhythm that would gently build to a glorious climax.

      Tommy knelt beside John and Raquel with Wendy's legs over his shoulders, thrusting energetically into her pussy. Wendy's bottom hardly touched the bed as his cock shuttled in and out of her dripping pussy. Raquel leaned over and kissed him hard on his mouth while her fingers searched for Wendy's cunt. Wendy pushed her hand out to John, grasped his face, and pulled it over for a kiss. As the four fucked into each other's partners, the respective partners smiled and kissed each other. Raquel started to whimper like a small cat. Her eyes rolled up as she reached her first climax, and her face distorted. A moan escaped her lips. "Fuck it harder! Fuck it, my cunt is exploding. Ohhhhhhhhh!"

      Raquel collapsed in a heap on top of John. He rolled her off and crawled around to the other two. Tommy rolled Wendy off him, and she got onto all fours. John hit her from the rear straight into her cunt, deep and hard. She thrust back to meet him harder and faster. Tommy went for the face and slid his cock deep into her mouth, making her gag a little, setting a fast pace that could never last. Tommy grunted and exploded semen down her throat, pumping and pumping till he was spurting on empty. Wendy cried out and shuddered and shuddered as she lost it in a huge one. John followed a few thrusts later. With a sigh and a deep thrust, he unloaded inside Wendy.

      The three untangled themselves. John lay on his side facing Tommy, and Raquel rested against him, her head using his hips as a pillow. Tommy and Wendy took up a similar position facing them. Wendy was fascinated with Tommy's penis, which had shrunk to a little wrinkled sausage. She played with it tenderly, remembering how hard and energetic it had just been. John was exploring Raquel's inner sanctuary in a lazy, tender way.

      Raquel got up, poured four glasses of wine from a bottle on the side table, and brought them to the bed. They all sipped and chatted quietly, enjoying the aftermath of the passion. Wendy could feel a slippery liquid seeping out between her legs. She reflected on how wonderful the party had started and how much better real sex in a group was than watching and fantasizing.

      Wendy said, "John, I need to use the bathroom. I will be back shortly. Will you wait here for me?"

      "Of course, darling," he smiled and added. "Come back when you are ready!" She laughed and left the room.

      Three girls and two men burst in a few minutes later, laughing and jostling each other. "Can we use the bed or join you if you haven't finished?" one girl asked. "Sure, get on and join us," John replied with a smile.

      Each girl selected a mate and sidled up to him as bodies entwined and hands were everywhere. The scene changed from relaxed, easy caresses to hot passion. John was having trouble getting hard again so soon after the last session. One of the two guys noticed and put his head in his lap, sucking gently on his cock. The girls watched with rapt interest. John froze for a second. This had never happened before. Then he relaxed as he thought to himself Wendy does this to me all the time. I go down on her. She won't mind, so what's the problem? John laid back and started enjoying a new experience.

      Wendy walked naked through the large room towards the lady's bathroom, passing groups and couples in all types of contortions. One threesome had a man on all fours, the girl on his back legs wrapped around the guy on top as he fucked vigorously. Her head was bobbing about like a broken rag doll. The whimpers coming from her showed she was in fuck heaven. Wendy passed them and smiled. She could not believe how many different positions were being displayed.

      In the bathroom, a girl was sitting on the side where the washbasins were, legs wide open, washing out the fluids that had been pumped into her. She licked her fingers and said, "Yummy, don't you just love that salty taste? I just got too full after a big gangbang. I had eight inside me, one after the other. Some of the greedy buggers came back for seconds and thirds." Wendy asked, "How long did you do it for?" The girl said, "About an hour and a half. I am a bit sore now and need a rest to recover after coming so many times."

      Wendy left the bathroom and wandered down a corridor from the large room. She heard sounds from a room; she stopped and looked in through the open door. Nine men were around this one girl who was being fucked from behind by one with another in her mouth, and a few were by her head. She had a cock in each hand, and the others were masturbating around her. The guy in her pussy speeded up and pulled out, rubbing himself furiously. He spurted all over her bottom. Another took his place and speared her without ceremony pushing in and out of her sweet little pussy. He inserted a finger up her bottom, and she wriggled and cried out, "Fuck my arse as well!"

      The men pulled out and rolled her over. One climbed underneath. She sat on his cock and lay on his chest. Another pulled her cheeks apart, stretching her anus slightly open. He rubbed semen that had seeped from her pussy around her dark hole to ease his passage and penetrated her slowly. The other guys were in her mouth, between her breasts, anywhere they could get.

      Wendy watched the action, fascinated. This was what she had dreamed of in every fantasy. One of the guys with nowhere to fuck noticed her standing by the door and came over and said, "Join us, lovely. We would love to satisfy your desires and fuck you senseless."

      Wendy entered the room as if in a dream; her fantasy had finally come true. Three guys remained with the girl. The other six moved over to Wendy. She lay on her back, waiting for it to happen. A man's body leaned over her, his cock hard and erect, probing her face as he bent over her and probed her cunt with his tongue. She grasped that beautiful cock and sucked it to absolute hardness. Hands over her breasts, tongues in ears and around her neck, hands now everywhere. Her body had become one large erogenous zone. The tongue in her pussy was replaced with a very large cock which started slowly and stepped up as the rhythm became one for both.

      For the next hour, Wendy felt cocks in all her parts, fluids being pumped and splashed. Each orgasm she experienced lifted her higher and higher until she lapsed into oblivion and was gently laid to rest, covered in semen and a little sore from the multiple entries. One vague recollection towards the end was of two cocks inside her pussy together, stretching her and giving her a final massive orgasm. Wendy drifted on the edge of exhaustion, languishing in the euphoria of her greatest fantasy, a gangbang. She lay there with semen dripping from her pussy, running down the crease between her legs. She fingered her anus softly, rubbing in the slippery cream to ease the soreness. She felt wonderful.

      After half an hour, she got up and returned to the room where she had left John. She passed Mistral, Tim, Greg, and Susan on the way, heading upstairs. As they passed her, they smiled at her sticky legs and body, and one said, "You sure have had some fun, huh, Wendy?"

      She arrived at the room and stepped inside. John was entwined with another girl, and a guy gently probed him while the girl tried to get him hard again. Wendy watched her man and smiled to herself. "Now he knows what it feels like to be fucked up the arse. Once used to the stretching, it is yummy."

      Wendy called him, "Honey, will you shower and sauna with me? I need to clean up a bit?"

      "OK, babe, let's get showered and find where Tim and Mistral are," John replied. "They did promise us a special time together, but I haven't seen them tonight."

      Mistral took John to one side the next day at work and said, "I know you both enjoyed your first swinging party; sorry we never got together. Would you both like to join Susan, Greg, Tim, and me the weekend after next at our place for just a casual dinner and some fun?"

      "Sure, we would not miss it!" John quickly replied. Mistral said, "Greg told me he saw Wendy walking past him in stockings and suspenders. He said she has a fabulous body, her cunt dripping down her legs, and he wants to fuck her after dinner. You can have Susan and me together if you fancy. It will be a hot night!" With a wide grin, John quickly shot back, "How about six all together in the sauna then?"
       
    • By Spoomonkey
      I don't remember - in detail - just what it was that was said between myself and Marilyn that convinced her to swing. I know that I didn't discover the hidden key to the floodgate. But now, as I sit here thinking of her, picturing the passion on her face as she jerks another man's cock, I am flooded with excitement about the next time. But this is a story about our first time.

      Most people are sexual caterpillars, humping through life, eating off the same leaf, and waiting to be taken as lunch by whatever bird it is that finds us delectable. Some of us evolve. I've had the pleasure of watching Mari become a truly stunning sexual creature - a truly amazing phoenix on fire. I recall the long and sometimes frustrating 'raccoon stage' from the first talk to the first play. I remember waiting like a child for Christmas - eager and smiling, hopeful and naive. And I remember watching Mari emerge.

      It was a Friday night - our second at a club. I am not sure how many expectations either of us had - we'd promised ourselves not to 'expect.' We arrived early - when the TVs had not yet flipped over to porn movies and still played the Discovery Channel. Pretzel baskets not yet out, Mari and I found a place at the liquor-less bar. Our first time at a club, we went with a couple that we were friends with. They'd monopolized us that night, and we wanted to branch out - to meet new friends - to try new things. Nothing against them, we thought the world of those two, but we were ready to fly solo. So we waited. Unsure of how to talk to anyone - unsure of what to do next. I think we clung to that bar for an hour, Mari in her brown mini and sheer black top, me in a stew of nervousness that I hadn't felt since junior high. Eyes were on Mari - I could feel that. Not at all unexpected with her long legs riding a lucky barstool, gorgeous and generous breasts threatening to pour from her low top, bright green eyes dancing between a perfect smile and brown/red hair that could melt any man. I remember watching people watching us, watching them stare shamelessly at her.

      The club filled quickly that night - couples made their way to familiar cliques as a flood of single men made helpless attempts to get in on the play. I didn't know what we were looking for, but I was hopeful that we'd find it - so I took Mari by the hand and decided to explore. The barstools were doing nothing but putting our backs to the crowd. I wasn't surprised when a clumsily discreet gaggle of singles followed my Mari like puppies as we slowly made our way from room to room. Eventually, we found ourselves on the 'party floor' with a half dozen single men who tried so very hard to look casual but were obviously hoping that their choice of clothes or hairstyle had been the perfect one - and that Mari would snatch them up before they knew what hit them. Feeling a bit ornery, I leaned back against the wall, my beer in one hand, and whispered to Mari, "I want you to go down on me." I think the request shocked her a bit.

      "Right. Right now? Right here?" I could tell that she was feeling like a bad girl - she had the look, the walk. I knew she wanted to play - and I could think of no better way than to tease a crowd of men.

      "Yes," I said, smiling. "Right here and right now." I reached down to unzip myself as she dropped to her knees in front of me. My cock had been hard all day, knowing that tonight we'd be here - chasing the 'unexpected' - and it was obvious that Mari shared my excitement as she took me all the way down with one eager move. Her tongue danced on my shaft as her head bobbed happily. Her expert hands worked on what little cock she couldn't take in, and twelve eyes on six single men ate every movement. I was - for a short time - king of the 'party floor' as the most incredible woman in the club sucked my cock in front of a half dozen. I realized that as incredible as this was - this spotlight on my wife's giftedness - it was just the first step, a cracking of the egg, so to speak - the cocoon was just starting to open. Mari gobbled me with abandon, surprisingly unashamed, wonderfully aware of nothing but her husband's eager erection and approaching release. I sipped my beer and grinned as hungry eyes locked on the back of Mari's head. I could have watched that scene all night long, but it was far too early to 'cash in my chips.' Besides - I got to take this beauty home - so I helped her to her feet as she wiped the corners of her mouth. I think I saw a blush then, but it could have been desire. Either way, it didn't slow her down. I was ready to head downstairs and leave this group to their own devices, but a conversation about something - I don't remember what - kept me in place.

      Mari was approached by a single guy, and I remember thinking that it would be good for her to flirt. So - I turned my attention to whatever meaningless banter I was sharing - and left Mari to her fun. I don't know how long I talked - but I remember turning to look at Mari and the one guy with balls enough to approach her. And was surprised to see them kissing deeply, his hand enjoying her perfect breast. I processed a momentary jealousy. Who wouldn't be jealous of a woman as beautiful as Marilyn? What man in his right mind would offer such a perfect woman to the wiles of desperate single men? The kind of man who is so secure in his soulmate's love that he knows that no one will ever touch her heart just by groping her boob. And with that, I was over it. And my wicked smile returned.

      "Do I need to go get supplies?" I asked as I walked up behind Mari.

      "Hmmm?" She asked, somewhat dreamily, obviously ready to try her first threesome.

      "Supplies. Condoms." I said, trying not to kill the moment.

      "They're downstairs." Mari looked at her new friend, David, who was obviously willing. She smiled and nodded.

      "Okay," I said. "But here are the rules while I'm gone." I have an alpha male personality when it comes to swinging - provider, protector, top dog. "Just talk. No hands - no kissing - while I'm gone." Then I looked at David. "Break a rule, I break an arm." I think he knew I meant it.

      His nervous, stuttering, "Sure," gave me the assurance I needed to head downstairs. I didn't remember the walk to the locker room being so long, but the anticipation seemed to stretch the halls and stairways. But soon, I was back with an overly optimistic fist full of condoms and a hard-on that made it hard to walk. David and Marilyn were talking innocently, leaning against the wall - but seeing me was all it took for talk to end. Mari took David's hand and led him to a private room; I pushed the door closed as we entered, waving at the five guys who looked disappointed that we weren't going to put on a show.

      David wasted little time pulling Mari's breasts free and sucking on her long nipples. His style was rough, but Mari seemed to love the feel of this stranger's tongue and gently nipping teeth. I knelt behind her, pushing her skirt around her hips, and flicked her ass with my tongue. I slipped two fingers in her dripping pussy and felt her body jerk at the anticipated intrusion. Her hips rocked against my fingers and tongue as David pulled off Mari's top and bra, spilling her breasts into his hands and waiting mouth. Mari rubbed David's cock through his slacks, eager to find out just what she'd gotten herself into. Our collective passions blurred the room as hands un-hooked, unzipped, un-buckled, and soon the only clothes left were Mari's black garter and stockings. David had taken to his knees, taking his rough style of play to Mari's tender box as Mari resumed the head we'd started in the common area - her passion making her suck even harder, with more abandon. I thrust into her mouth gently, knowing that in her current state, she couldn't focus enough to keep me from going too deep. I watched her perfect tits roll as her body rocked on David's aggressive tongue. I switched places with David, letting him enjoy Mari's mouth for the first time. Mari gave a perfect, eager head, and I knew David was in for a treat - but I wanted my time with my wife's perfect pussy. Her long lips and deep folds are the perfect play place for big boys, and my tongue traced her outer lips through the gentle maze that leads to her dripping entrance and tingling clit. I slipped my fingers inside of Mari, curling them gently to find that magical-mythical spot that always seems to make a good orgasm a screaming one, and my tongue flicked gently at her oh-so-ready clit. I looked up to see David fucking Mari's mouth - and Mari thrusting back hungrily. I heard her cock-filtered moans as I brought her to the brink of orgasm. I quickened my tongue and my inner stroking, and Mari's mouth popped off of David's shaft. Her fist pumped him purposefully, but her eyes and attention were now focused on my face, pressed against her pussy. Her hips bucked with the beginnings of her orgasm, and her moans turned to screams as she came against my tongue. Mari fucked my fingers powerfully, her pussy sucking and pulling them deeper inside, and she threw her head back into the pillow and let out a long "YES!" as a wave overcame her.

      David knelt beside her, a stunned look on his face. "That was hot." Mari laughed at his grasp of the obvious as she pulled her knees together and her legs up - but we weren't going to let her off that easily. "Be gentle," I said as David went back down, and I brought my throbbing cock to Mari's mouth. I've always loved the way that Mari says thanks for a job well done - and tonight was no exception. David's tongue brought Mari over the edge two more quick times as she sucked my cock. Her body shivered weakly as the first orgasm had taken so much out of her. She moaned around my width but never let me go until her desperation got the best of her.

      "Fuck me." She said, her voice breathy, "Fuck me, please." I took her first, as David's cock hung in Mari's face, rubbing against her cheek as she thrust her body back against me. I pushed her legs to her chest as I buried my cock deeply into her. Her heat was tremendous, her body on fire as it lived out a fantasy it was so reluctant to even admit. David watched as I took my wife hard, thrusting deeply and angling my body to hit her just right. Mari gritted her teeth as she let out a strained moan, her fourth orgasm coming as a surprise - short but powerful. I pulled out quickly, knowing that there was one other thing that Mari wanted to try before we'd be able to call this a night. I lay against the wall as Mari got to her knees. She sucked hard as David pushed into her for the first time. It was her first 'extra' cock, and she seemed to shake from head to toe. "Is he in?" I asked, wanting her to process the reality of this moment. "Mmmm-Hmmm," she groaned as he pounded her. David fucked my beautiful wife hard from behind, thrusting deeply and quickly, racing towards an orgasm that had such a gorgeous build-up. And he reached that place far too quickly.

      "Where do you want him to cum?" I asked, stroking Mari's hair. "I want to see it," she said, her tongue flicking the head of my cock. "I want him to cum all over me." David responded to her wishes, pulling out and removing his spent condom. Mari rolled over on her back, pushing her breasts together and urging him to cover them. He had no problem doing so. David's excitement was apparent as jet after jet of his hot load landed on Mari's perfect tits.

      "Oh, god, yes," she cooed as he came. David let out one last grunt as his body jerked, and one last long stream of cum dripped onto my wife. I kissed Mari - realizing that I had seen her emerge. My perfect butterfly, covered with another man's seed. David collapsed at the end of the bed as Mari and I wrapped our hearts tightly around each other. We basked in the afterglow of an incredible fantasy, unaware that, for us, the night was young. We dressed, David and Mari kissed one last time, and then we left the room for the next adventuresome group.

      We fully expected to leave soon thereafter. Instead, almost unbelievingly, the stars aligned, and we had another encounter.

      Mari went to the bar, still sexily disheveled, and started talking to a single woman that we had met earlier, helping her fend off a torrent of attention, gladly taking on some for herself. Knowing she was having fun, I left her alone while I went to the restroom.

      I normally don't strike up conversations at the urinal, but all rules have exceptions.

      "I'm not gay," I said to the guy spilling beer one stall over, "but that is a really nice shirt."

      I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't meant it. Dark blue flames on white silk. Sharp as a switchblade.

      "Thanks," He said. "My wife bought it. I don't remember where."

      "Well - it's a great-looking shirt."

      The conversation eroded as our bathroom purposes came to an end, and we awkwardly took turns with the soap dispenser. He left before my paws were dry, and as I wiped the last of the evidence on my jeans, I walked out to put what I thought would be the final hit on my wife.I was quite wrong.

      Mr Nice Shirt was in the hallway with a gorgeous blond - tall and thin, with stunning blue eyes and long legs on high heels.

      "Hey, hon." he said, "where did you get this shirt? This guy likes it."

      She told me - but hell if I remember. I was captivated by her. Where she bought the shirt went in one ear and out the other, but her, I was drinking in till I reached the bottom of the glass. It was a nice shirt - but she was significantly nicer. I watched her lips as she talked and wondered what they tasted like; I watched her chest when she paused - also wondering what it tasted like. Soon the shirt was forgotten.

      But - I found out later - they thought I was a single, which wasn't their thing - and they excused themselves. I made my dejected way back to Mari - still with her single friend - still at the center of a crowd. I walked to the center and kissed her hard, because I could, and whispered in her ear, "Are you ready to go?" She nodded and told me she needed to check her hair before she did. I wasn't the only one who watched her walk to the restroom - perfect hips massaging the inside of her brown suede skirt. I sat at the bar, watching what passed for porn on the satellite feed, and waited...And waited...And realized I wasn't enjoying the porn enough to not be worried about my wife...I wandered through the club, weaving my way between connections being made and broken - singles getting lucky or rejected - women being fondled or ignored... The witching hour had arrived, and folks were grouping off with the hopes that productive conversations weren't about to produce wilted results. And in the bathroom door, Mari had become the target of Mr Cool-Shirt and his incredible wife. They stood in a tight but respectful group, chittering like old friends... I watch Mari laugh at some witty thing and then look up to see me walking her way.

      "That's my husband," she said, maybe a bit too proudly, and the blond woman whom I'd already memorized turned and smiled - wickedly surprised if that is a workable combination. A three-way conversation in the door of the women's room became a spirited four-way as we realized that - not only was I, not a single guy, we all had much more than that in common; two pairs of soulmates on different planes of experience. Best friends who do everything together - who were about to drift upstairs...

      They had been to many clubs and had much background in the lifestyle, and as we made our way upstairs, they shared themselves in a way that makes the lifestyle so much more than sex. We drifted from room to room, listening to them talk about their "hobby" and how they survived within it. For a moment, the idea of "playing" with our new friends disappeared as these gorgeous people became so incredibly fascinating. It seemed like every line of conversation revealed more in common, more useful advice, more to like...And then she closed the door...

      "I like you guys," Kim - this gorgeous blond said, her voice going from friendly to lusty. "Let's play."

      Mari and I snapped back to reality quickly. We were in a swing club, and we were not going home anytime soon... I didn't need to look at Mari to know that she was okay with this. I'd watched her as she watched Joe's lips move when he talked. I had seen her smile when he touched her shoulder. And I had absolutely nothing to think about as Kim lay on the bed, smiling and lifting her legs to show a shaved and pantiless play area.

      "What do you say?" She asked, staring at me hypnotically.

      Nothing... There was nothing I could say. I was hers - but better yet, she was about to be mine. Joe sat on a chair in the corner of the room - thinking, I suppose, that he might watch for a while. But Mari was having none of that, straddling his lap and wrapping her tongue around his. Kim lay on her back, and I ran my hands down her legs, lifting her feet and helping her with the boots that she wasn't going to be needing for a while. Her long thin legs were, on their own, plenty to enjoy - but when the boots were shed, my hands wandered higher as I slid onto the bed with her, kissing her gently at first - enjoying her soft but expert tongue. Her hands made short work of my belt as mine found her small, tight breasts. She seemed eager to catch up with Mari, who had quickly moved to a kneel in front of Joe and was blowing him madly - her head bobbing furiously.

      I didn't object and let her push me over to my back. My eyes caught Joe's, and he smiled widely, dazed but certainly feeling every stroke of Mari's expert tongue. Mari worked his shaft with one tight fist and had pushed the blue flamed shirt up to his strong chest. She was moaning around him - and he encouraged her. The sounds were nearly as hot as the visual of my beautiful wife gobbling our new friend with such abandon. I could have lost myself watching the two of them, just experiencing the pleasure my wife was giving another man, but I was soon pulled expertly out of the moment as bright blue eyes looked up at me past short blond hair, and a wet tongue flicked between a wicked grin and eagerly tasted the tip of my cock...I looked down at Kim as she rolled her tongue around the head of my cock, seeming to savor the taste. Her eyes locked on mine, and her smile never failed......until she took me into her mouth, slowly swallowing half of me and then pulling me out just as deliberately. I groaned, body twitching and cock responding to her attentions.

      "You like that?" she asked, a trail of my excitement still leading to her lips.I just swallowed and grinned - and she correctly took that as a "yes". Her eyes finally left mine as she took me again, this time with abandon. Her tongue danced around my cock as her lips tightly massaged my shaft. Her hands jerked me and my hips rocked slightly, finding her manic rhythm. I closed my eyes and enjoyed her expertise, my fingers twisting in her short hair. I could feel her taking me deeper until it seemed the head of my cock was so deep in her that I could almost feel it with the hand that was on the back of her head. Her warmth was complimented by a perfect wetness. She stroked me with one hand as her other hand massaged my balls - coaxing my cum from them - eager for a taste of her good work. I heard a squeal and looked up just in time to see a naked Mari tossed onto the bed beside us. Joe was naked as well - his tall, thin frame sporting a desperate erection. He dropped to the bed between Mari's legs and began to kiss her breasts, one after another, commenting loudly on her large, long nipples. Kim was looking over, obviously admiring them herself. She looked up at me, her lips still around my excitement, her face flushed. I smiled at her and nodded - unable to ask her if she wanted what Mari was about to be getting... Somehow she read me and nodded back - letting me go with a gentle pop - and climbed up on the bed, shedding what little clothing she still had on. I pulled off my shirt and settled between her legs.

      The wives were now on the bed, lying side by side, with two enthusiastic husbands now heading south hungrily. Kim's pussy was perfectly shaved with small lips and a perfect clit. I licked gently at first, tasting her fully... This was the first pussy I'd tasted since my marriage, and I was going to enjoy it fully. I slipped my hands beneath her ass to lift her slightly, angling her just right... And sunk my tongue deeply into her, tasting her as she tightened around the intrusion. She whimpered slightly and bucked - and I lost myself... My fingers swam in and out of her as my tongue found every unique spot that seemed to make her jerk with electricity. Her eyes were clamped shut as I ate her, and her hands gripped my head harder and more desperately, soon governing my attentions to just her clit as she climbed higher... Closer to the edge of orgasm. I heard Mari scream as she came, thrashing her hips forcefully against Joe's face, forcing him to hang on... Kim heard her, too, and seemed to catch Mari's orgasm just as Mari was coming down... One loud "OHH!" was all she moaned as her body spasmed beneath my feasting tongue. She jerked hard, holding my face tightly to her and riding her orgasm out against my tongue. I held her thighs as she began to land. She slid her hands to my cheeks and pulled herself to me. "My god," was all she said before she kissed me and pulled me back to the bed.

      Joe was on top of Mari, thrusting his fingers into her roughly, and Kim held me as we watched Mari cum again. Mari's vocal aerobics shook the walls again as she came a second time, right on top of her first one. She seemed to cum for minutes before she finally stopped thrusting her hips against Joe's aggressive hand.

      "Wow," Kim said, looking at me. "Is she always this loud?"

      "I'd like to think so," I replied, smiling.

      "I have no doubt, then."

      Kim grinned as she kissed me, pushing me to my knees. She crawled in front of me and took me in her mouth again, egging me on to thrust. I did so - watching as Mari laid Joe on the bed and then knelt between his legs again. I grabbed Kim's perfect ass with both hands and pushed forward gently, barely containing my arousal as Mari began to stroke Joe's thick cock.I heard Kim sucking me wetly, accepting my thrusts as Joe moaned with approval as Mari gave him a masterful hand job, puckering her lips around the head of his cock as she stroked him. My head swam for ten minutes, watching my wife and feeling Joe's. I was near the edge when Joe screamed out his arrival. Kim flipped around quickly, eager to watch her husband's pleasure, and slid a hand down to cup his balls just as he erupted. His first shot a foot into the air. Mari moaned, "YESSS!" as he came - excited at the sight of his orgasm. His hips thrust slightly as the rest of his orgasm ran down his cock and over Mari's still-pumping fist.

      He lay there - satisfied - and Kim turned, grinning, back to me. The only difference is that this time - so did Mari. I had four lustful eyes looking at me hungrily, and I knew that one of my favorite fantasies was going to come true. I was pushed back into the pillow and watched as a blond and brunette devoured my cock - neither of them losing steam. One would suck my balls while the other pistoned on my hot shaft - then they'd switch - dancing their tongues up either side of me as they went... "This is a vision you'll never forget," Joe chattered - coming back to his senses. I quietly agreed with him, watching as they pleasured me - unable to drink it in enough. Just the sight was enough to make me cum... The sensation of two talented tongues, two eager mouths, brought me closer to the edge than I ever thought possible... Joe seemed to agree, now standing at the side of the bed stroking a resurrected erection. But - I was the first to see them kiss...And it was almost too much... Kim and Mari's tongues soon discovered each other and left my cock to pursue each other. I was remarkably okay with that. Kim and Mari's passionate lip lock was more than Joe could handle.

      "Oh my god," he said to Mari. "I had no idea you were into that."

      "I wasn't," Mari said truthfully - and then quickly returned to what she swears was one of the best kissers she'd ever known. I joined Joe in the perverse ritual, not caring if they ever touched me again - as long as they didn't stop touching each other. Their hands fondled each other, their tongues twisted together... And the room seemed to heat up by twenty degrees.

      I'd never thought I'd see my wife so wild for another woman, but there they were, wrapped together, making out like high school kids. The scene proved to be too much, and Joe yelled out Mari's name. Mari moved over beneath him, her tongue out and eager, just as Joe came again. If it is possible, his second orgasm seemed larger than his first, streaming into Mari's open mouth in jet after jet. And that was enough for me... I knelt over Kim and let go of her waiting tongue. She excitedly swallowed what she caught - what she didn't streamed down her cheeks as I jerked out the last of my orgasm and collapsed beside her...I remember Joe leaving and coming back with a glass of pop for all of us to share, but for the life of me, I don't remember much else. We all lay together for a while - talking again like old friends and laughing. The biggest difference this time was being able to watch breasts jiggle with every well-told joke or story.

      We exchanged e-mails, hugs, and kisses... But I wasn't offered the shirt...When we finally left - the club owner was cleaning up, barely beating the sun, which would be showing itself soon. One of the staff smiled at us and said somewhat meekly, "You guys sounded great." I suppose she's right - a perfect encounter inspires some wonderful loudness. The night was a surprise from the start - we'd done more than we'd ever expected and made friends on top of it. And it was one of those friendships that inspired me to surprise Mari with one last step in her now complete emergence.
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