Snobs?

[enhancer 1,542]

Okay so the question I have here is why do fit healthy people that only want to play with others that take their health seriously always get labeled as snobs by so many people in the lifestyle?

 

Are they really bad people, because they want to spend time with others that also have the drive and ambition to eat right and exercise? It is not like they are the way they are, because they are born that way! Everyone can be fit and healthy if they want to be. It takes a strong willed person to do what it takes to keep themselves healthy. I don’t see that as a bad quality in a person at all, but it seems many people think it makes them snobs.

 

We have recently made some big health changes in our lives for ourselves and each other so we can live a long healthy life together and are seeing first hand how much it can improve all aspects of life. Our bodies are changing for the better big time, our energy levels are through the roof and many of our daily chronic pains have all, but disappeared. Neither one of us has ever felt better and there is no turning back. This has made our already great sex life of the charts amazing. Saying that our tastes in others is changing as well. People that care about their health and show it in their appearance are much more appealing to us now and people that clearly don’t just are not our thing. So I guess we must be on our way to snobville and we are okay with that, because honestly our health is way more important then making everyone else happy.

[njbm 2,728]

We eat responsibly, exercise often and go to doctors. We are also selective with partners and use condoms 100%. We STD test at least annually. We are not models, but we take our health seriously.

[ToeDippers 79]

I wouldn’t label you a snob. You are entitled to be attracted to another couple for any reason you want. Not every couple is attracted to every couple. You might like tall, short, blonde, brunette, heavy or skinny, and I will say if you are African American nobody is making you date a Caucasian, or maybe you want a mixed race couple. It is up to you. Your body, your choice. Do you only want rich people, your choice. Don’t let any couple label you.

[EastInWest 1,508]

Taking care of yourself looks a lot like work, and there's always a subset of people who react badly to that. That's true whether you're talking about your career, physical fitness, or anything else.

 

Being a "snob" is about the way you treat others, not simply the way you treat yourself. If someone feels like you're a snob because you're making what you feel are the best choices for yourself, it might be about something they detected in the way you treat them, but it might also really be about the way they feel about themselves. It's worth asking yourself the question to make sure you're coming across the way you want to come across, but I wouldn't pay it too much mind.

 

Something I read years ago about the phrase "putting your health first" made the point very well that if you're going to say that, you've got to be honest about how much you mean it. If you're skipping the gym because you're working late, you're putting something else first. If you're ordering greasy takeout because you didn't plan enough time into your day to cook something healthful, you're putting something else first. There's nothing wrong with that, but people often don't want to be honest with themselves about what they're really doing and it's upsetting when they have to confront it.

[lcmim 1,009]

Being a "snob" is about the way you treat others, not simply the way you treat yourself.

 

Each has the right to be attracted to whatever appeals to them. There can be no snobbery in that.

 

How you react to and interact with those who do not match your desires/needs is where snobbery both perceived and real exists.

 

Sometimes I think those who fixate on the external package rather than the person as a whole find themselves more prone to that trap.

[Guest]

We’re by no means vegans, eat more fish and chicken than other meats and our fair share of salads, we both have been fit since before high school, and still do exercises, walk a heck of a lot, but we do enjoy our fair share of wine, and you just really can’t enjoy good Mexican food without a Margarita, but none of it is something we really talk about with other swingers. I’m just as likely to include an overweight gentleman in our play as a fit or skinny one, other things are more important to me. My husband does have a hard time shying too far away from his preferred body type when it comes to other women but he would never mention it to the other husband or wife; in fact, he does occasionally go for it just to keep the evening fun.

[JessicaJamison 842]

I think people get labeled snobs for the way they interact with others, not because they are selective.  There is nothing wrong with being selective about who you choose to have sex with..  however, there is something very off-putting about people that are rude or unnecessarily mean or cruel to people they believe are beneath their standards or social status.  Nice people are rarely labeled snobs.  

[MrMrsswinger 184]

On 11/21/2019 at 12:49 PM, enhancer said:

Are they really bad people, because they want to spend time with others that also have the drive and ambition to eat right and exercise? It is not like they are the way they are, because they are born that way! Everyone can be fit and healthy if they want to be. It takes a strong willed person to do what it takes to keep themselves healthy. I don’t see that as a bad quality in a person at all, but it seems many people think it makes them snobs.

 

We have recently made some big health changes in our lives for ourselves and each other so we can live a long healthy life together and are seeing first hand how much it can improve all aspects of life. Our bodies are changing for the better big time, our energy levels are through the roof and many of our daily chronic pains have all, but disappeared. Neither one of us has ever felt better and there is no turning back. This has made our already great sex life of the charts amazing. Saying that our tastes in others is changing as well. People that care about their health and show it in their appearance are much more appealing to us now and people that clearly don’t just are not our thing. So I guess we must be on our way to snobville and we are okay with that, because honestly our health is way more important then making everyone else happy.

 

I think it depends on how you're approaching your selection of play partners. Appearance doesn't mean fit and healthy. That's where people drift towards 'snob' I think. 

 

I know many people who look like fitness models but have a terrible diet, drink excessively and never exercise. I also know people who work out 4-5 times a week and watch what they eat...but you wouldn't know it by looking at them. Your body type is your body type. Some people don't have to put in much effort to stay thin. Others put in a lot of effort and always look overweight/heavy. Not everyone can look like the cover of a magazine simply by working out and eating right. Some people have a body type that stays lean and muscular while others have a softer look regardless of how much they exercise and perfect their diet.

 

So the OP states "People that care about their health and show it in their appearance are much more appealing to us now and people that clearly don’t just are not our thing." The problem with that statement is that not everyone who is thin cares about their health, and not everyone who is not thin doesn't care about their health. 

 

[travelingprofessional 46]

Totally agree with MrMrsSwinger. Just because someone exercises doesn't mean they look like they do. And just because someone looks like they're in great shape doesn't mean they are. In college I was 6'0 175. I spent the majority of my time in motion - played college sports (basketball and baseball), worked out 7 days a week with team trainers creating custom workouts, ate reasonably well...and I never had abs. I had a flat stomach, don't get me wrong, but some of my teammates were ripped like the airbrushed guys you see on Men's Health and Muscle & Fitness magazine. My dad is pretty thin. As an old man now, he carries all his fat on his stomach. Any extra weight I have now, right on the stomach. I don't drink. I still workout 5+ days a week yet time adds a few pounds....and it all keeps my abs warm. 

 

So yes, people have their types. That's fine. The OP states that "everyone can get fit and healthy", very true. But not everyone that is thin falls into that category. Just as everyone who is heavier than average is not fit and healthy. 

[couplers 4,140]

I sort of have the opposite problem.  I don't starve myself, but am skinny.  Putting on weight isn't going help make my breasts grow, and I am about as muscular as a girl would want to be.  I look good in my clothes in a fashion model kind of way, and having tits that are there but not large seems to make men and women curious as to what actually is there.  When my clothes first came off for fooling around with guys (and later women), I was apprehensive about what they would think about my ribs being visible, having abs; arms and ass with muscle and little fat.

Edited December 16, 2020 by couplers

[MrMrsswinger 184]

I think you're an example of what I was saying. You probably have a body type where you won't ever get real heavy, regardless of your habits. Yet the OP would assume you eat right and exercise, whether you did or not, merely because you're thin.

[couplers 4,140]

9 minutes ago, MrMrsswinger said:

you eat right and exercise

I don't eat "right," but I don't eat too much.  Exercise is like jealousy for me, it hurts during the moment but I'm a better person for it and it's good for me.

[SnakeCat 22]

You come across as a snob, just by the way you wrote this post...

[enhancer 1,542]

On 1/21/2021 at 12:48 PM, SnakeCat said:

You come across as a snob, just by the way you wrote this post...

.Thanks for your input in this discussion.

[Sunday 119]

I prefer to have meaningless group sex with strangers for sport with only fit, healthy, good-looking, well-groomed people.

 

Call me shallow.

Edited January 23, 2021 by Sunday