Which is more intimate: Vaginal Sex or Oral Sex?

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Which do you find more intimate, vaginal sex or oral sex?

[cplnuswing 4,712]

male opinion - giving oral > vaginal penetration > receiving oral

[sunbuckus 3,567]

male opinion - giving oral > vaginal penetration > receiving oral

 

I wonder if a lot of guys feel that way. I know of one occasion where I almost never received oral from a particular partner but the more we played together and got to know each other, he surprised me one evening by giving oral after we had sex. It made me wonder what was different that night that he decided to do that.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

That progression doesn't feel more intimate to me because of anything physical on my end, it's more an assumption that's the way SHE feels. So, by letting me give her oral, she's willing to go to that level of intimacy, so that makes it feel more intimate to me.

 

The experience you relay with your playmate is interesting. Perhaps it was one of those cases of both waiting for the other to bring it up, with the result that nobody did even though both wanted to, but finally you were so comfortable with each other that he felt safe enough to jump that hurdle independently?

[Lionheart72 2,189]

From this males perspective, I honestly don't see either as particularly more intimate. They are both about equal to my mind. Honestly, I think the cultural standards that suggest oral sex is somehow of a different quality than vaginal sex are terribly hetro-centric. If you think about it, is my lesbian friend being less intimate when she has sex with her wife than I am when I have sex with mine? No, she isn't.

 

Personally, I think intimacy in sex is a matter of attitude rather than action... the difference, if you will, between "making love" and "fucking."

[sunbuckus 3,567]

That progression doesn't feel more intimate to me because of anything physical on my end, it's more an assumption that's the way SHE feels. So, by letting me give her oral, she's willing to go to that level of intimacy, so that makes it feel more intimate to me.

 

That makes sense!

 

The experience you relay with your playmate is interesting. Perhaps it was one of those cases of both waiting for the other to bring it up, with the result that nobody did even though both wanted to, but finally you were so comfortable with each other that he felt safe enough to jump that hurdle independently?

 

I have no idea...I just found it very surprising and touching that he would do that after we had sex.

[oc1234 435]

I have always found vaginal penetration the most intimate. That is always my ultimate goal in any sexual encounter.

[living_free 44]

For me..oral sex. I love it and generally give it back as good as a blowjob. To taste a woman when she is at her hieght of arousal is beautiful and delicious.

[asncpl 728]

Vaginal sex for me. Without diving into my mother issues and misguided youth, it was hammered into me to save my virginity by my mother. I was so worried and rebellious at the same time that I engaged in other forms of sex, including oral sex, frequently but rarely vaginal sex during my university days. So it's especially intimate for me to have someone inside me. Granted, it's a hetero view of sex, but I still believe it even as I have vaginal sex regularly in the lifestyle and also have bisexual encounters.

[MrDiscover 802]

Oral is the most intimate for the both of us. By far.

 

Many reasons, but for me it is the fact my favorite senses (smell, sounds) are so much closer with oral, less with intercourse. Plus the fact the mouth is always visible in vanilla life, it's different to also have sex with it and being reminded during vanilla time. Can't express this in text/English well, but that is a major thing. And like the funny clip says: it is where here beautiful voice comes from, what she uses to sing and whisper and cry and yell.

 

The step to give oral during a date was a much bigger step then intercourse. We both feel we can have intercourse with someone just after we have met, but oral has to have a basis of knowing each other a bit more first.

 

For us: receiving hand job (m/f) > giving hand job > vaginal penetration > receiving oral > giving oral

[Glida 250]

Oral sex is more intimate for me (recieving). Because I will have an orgasm. The intimate part for me is the orgasm and I wont have one through viginal penetration.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

They are both equally intimate to me. I have to feel some kind of connection to do either, the connection time varies per partner though. Where it may take meeting one person many times, another it could be after one evening of conversation.

[intuition897 2,179]

All sex acts are pretty much the same for me, including vaginal, oral or kissing. The most intimate thing for me would be eye contact. Not that I don't look my partners in the eye; it's prolonged eye contact that is a trigger for me. When you do that, you're looking past all their defenses, right AT them, and it feels intrusive. It asks for deeper connection, and it becomes awkward because...well, I don't really want to say that I just don't have anything to give to them. It's more that it's not the romantic love they might imagine.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

. . . The most intimate thing for me would be eye contact.

I'm glad you said this. You are correct.

 

I'll lay my interpretation upon this. Writhing genitilia or copulation are one thing. Your eyes are your windows to your world.

[J&Wu 408]

The most intimate thing for me would be eye contact.

As much as I enjoy the taste and smell I don't find oral with my face buried very intimate and even less so,"Doggy Style fucking." I like to face her and be in her and to add,"French Kissing," I feel like part of her.

69 is a close second for me, I think it is the visual again, obviously not the eyes but the red swollen bottom that I can't see coming in from below. And there is a sense of giving and taking together?

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

Vaginal sex for us, but even deep passionate kissing can also be very emotionally intimate as well.

[oc1234 435]

Vaginal sex for us, but even deep passionate kissing can also be very emotionally intimate as well.

 

I totally agree about a deep passionate kiss being very emotionally intimate. When my wife are in a threesome with another man, I am extremely turned on when he and my wife kiss. I also really enjoy it when either the other guy or I is having intercourse with her, the other male is passionately kissing her. It also really turns on my wife and leads to a lot of orgasms.

[Guest]

What is meant by intimate in this situation. My hubby tells me that most women he dated performed oral before or more casually than they do vagina sex. I was always the opposite, vaginal first and oral some where down the road.

[let's do it again 412]

For me it's not the act but how passionate she is about what she's doing.  Nothing better than a woman who is into it as much as I am.  Nothing as bad as a blow job from a woman that acts like she has no desire to do it! But for me, if we are both hot and heavy into it, then 69 is my choice. 

[couplers 4,564]

On 1/9/2015 at 10:59 AM, sunbuckus said:

Which do you find more intimate, vaginal sex or oral sex?

For me it's penis-in-vagina number one always, giving oral to a woman second, receiving oral third, dick ejaculating in my bum fourth, and sucking dick and swallowing fifth.  Simultaneous combinations in an FFM are best.

[BillyandDebbie 301]

It’s amazing some think kissing is the most intimate act. Why is that a big no for some?

[Numex 2,364]

On 12/24/2022 at 8:21 AM, BillyandDebbie said:

It’s amazing some think kissing is the most intimate act.

I love kissing my wife while she is being attended to by one or two other men.  We have even set it up so Daniela and I are kissing while we are both having intercourse with someone else.  It intertwines love and sex.

 

On 12/24/2022 at 8:21 AM, BillyandDebbie said:

Why is that a big no for some?

I don't know.  We have no rules, and have broken them all.  My wife and I not only kiss others in our group, we have exchanged, "I love you's" to partners in front of our spouses.  We play alone.  We have gone on getaways alone with someone other than our spouse.  I much prefer that my wife and her sex play partners care for one another rather than see her as a cum dump to be kicked aside after screwing.

[Anon321 519]

On 12/24/2022 at 10:21 AM, BillyandDebbie said:

It’s amazing some think kissing is the most intimate act. Why is that a big no for some?

That's how we feel.  I think we view kissing as more of an action of love whether it is during lovemaking or just an everyday kiss.  When she has sex with other guys it's more dirty, porno, fun fucking type of play.  It's the kind of play that you don't need kissing for anyway.  I'm not saying it makes sense but it doesn't have to either.  It was really our only rule though.

[TricianMike 766]

Swinging is about sex and pleasure not intimacy. When with a lover every touch or look is intimate, when with a sexual partner I am there for excitement and pleasure not worrying about what is intimate. Michael once said don’t worry be happy when I asked if he was upset I did something with a sex partner. 

[StartingOver60 58]

Vaginal penetration is the most intimate point of a sexual experience.  It is the moment each share fulfilling the act.  No turning back, it is happening.  Great moment for both.

Edited December 27, 2022 by StartingOver60

[J&Wu 408]

On 12/27/2022 at 1:28 PM, StartingOver60 said:

Vaginal penetration is the most intimate point of a sexual experience.  It is the moment each share fulfilling the act.  No turning back, it is happening.  Great moment for both.

Especially when we are both comfortable with Bare-Back, maybe not so much condom, prefer oral option then. Still like the mouth to mouth kissing finish either way.

[couplers 4,564]

On 12/26/2022 at 12:53 PM, Numex said:

We have even set it up so Daniela and I are kissing while we are both having intercourse with someone else.

There was a time early on when hubby and I held hands as we both were having intercourse with someone else.  It was powerful and romantic.

 

On 12/27/2022 at 2:28 PM, StartingOver60 said:

Vaginal penetration is the most intimate point of a sexual experience.

At least for me as a woman, it's because (theoretically) a baby may be created.  That's a big deal. 

[MidwestHoneys 355]

Rubbing noses is the most intimate act. 

[EastInWest 1,524]

Offering a thought I've shared elsewhere:

 

Growing up in the evangelical-leaning midwest in a certain age bracket, women generally exchanged oral with men very casually. It's not quite fair to say it "didn't count", but it certainly wasn't intercourse and was often a polite gesture at the end of a nice night or something that could be done between friends. For a long time, I thought very little of it, even with attached or married women. (Possibly, some of this had to do with the very intense rhetoric we got about avoiding teen and unwed pregnancy.)

 

Mrs. E, growing up in a Catholic school, in the northeast, a few years older, got a very different perception, that oral sex was much more intimate and to be reserved. Casual intercourse, also, was shunned, but it usually came first in intimate relationships. Regardless of ethnic background, that was pretty consistent, down to the Puerto Rican girl who would roll her eyes at oral sex but had three or four men in rotation to keep her fucked at any time.

 

I'm not sure how much of that is cultural/geographic and age-specific, but there are differences there in social groups.

 

Also, I've known a number of women who disclosed that they had very specific breeding kinks that involved being somewhat anonymously "used" for pregnancy, as well as women who would prefer to have intercourse with someone they didn't really like over oral, and while that's far from universal, I can see the logic of how intercourse is less intimate. Performing oral is usually deeply sensory beyond touch: tastes, smells, often a lot of eye contact. It's full of deliberate choices about how you'll use your lips and tongue to manipulate someone else's body.

 

I don't think there a clear answers there. As I've gotten older, I've developed a more casual view of intercourse. As Mrs. E has evolved into this, she's developed a more performative and casual view of oral sex.

[couplers 4,564]

On 12/30/2022 at 6:37 AM, EastInWest said:

(Possibly, some of this had to do with the very intense rhetoric we got about avoiding teen and unwed pregnancy.)

 

Mrs. E, growing up in a Catholic school, in the northeast, a few years older, got a very different perception, that oral sex was much more intimate and to be reserved. Casual intercourse, also, was shunned, but it usually came first in intimate relationships.

Catholic school girl here.  Girls letting a guy in her bum was also a pregnancy avoiding alternative until the visit to Planned Parenthood. 

[GoNatural 104]

I think kissing can be very intimate, yes.         I think vaginal is more intimate than oral though, especially bareback.

[findinganswers 369]

Vaginal sex can be very mechanical, oral takes more thought. Vaginal sex is mutual gratification, oral is one party pleasing the other. 

[couplers 4,564]

For me when it's just MF between two of us, we typically start with him doing oral on me (sometimes to orgasm), me doing oral on him (hardly ever to orgasm), p-in-v to mutual orgasm, then he does oral on me for a second O.  The combination is the intimacy. 

[hotwife70 593]

It's a routine to my wife to start with giving oral then Vagina penetration then lastly anal penetration and she also enjoys switching back between her ass,pussy to her mouth of cause under the must condition is guys have to prove clean of diseases.  

[Billygoat 443]

I agree with there is no one answer.  Thoughts, opinions…..are as varied snow flakes.

 

My general opinion is any sexual activity/act given by one to another is intimate.  More so when the one giving the act is allowing there self to be penetrated orally, in vagina or anal.  And a higher level yet when accepting fluids from another.

 

For me, when any woman chooses to make me cum and she willingly accepts my seman in her mouth or even higher in her body, vagina.

 

This is based on my experience in the lifestyle.  There has been dozens of experiences with couples/single women where when we first swapped/shared there were soft swap that included oral when our first time might include a condom for oral or only finishing getting a handjob.  That over time and a bigger connection would progressively change until there is cum in mouth, swallowing and cumming inside her.  
 

One of our closest couples started with a spoken guideline/rule “if it is skin to skin it ain’t growing in.”  We had a lot of great times and after the birth of their last child she had her tubes tied.  After that length of time she would take and swallow me and allow me to take off my condom and cum on her (tummy and lower back her favorite) but would not take me in her mouth after being inside her even though I wore a condom.  So I panicked a bit when during one afternoon in group play she mounted me cowgirl and during the heat of the moment I felt the condom being removed, I started to protest, but she leaned over me kissed me, then we’re making out while she road me faster then pressed her self firmly down on my cock as I came, grinding herself on me.  Then lay on me for a while.  Her husband commented that she wanted to do that for a long time.  We had been with each other for almost 4 years.  After that all our activities sharing each other openly and fully.  Both wives would have a mix of both husbands cum in their body.  We have had a number of couples and singles that after we had been together often, socially and sexually barriers would fall away.  This couple was the longest period of time.

 

That is how I label intimate.
 

[MidLifeFun 145]

I’m going to choose Kissing. Vaginal sex is raw physical pleasure with no thought given, just orgasm oriented. Oral sex is getting pleasure from giving pleasure. Both oral and vaginal has a goal of orgasms, the ultimate sexual pleasure. Kissing is making a connection with your partner for no other reason but the intimacy of two people together. 

[couplers 4,564]

On 1/11/2015 at 3:33 PM, intuition897 said:

The most intimate thing for me would be eye contact.

Now you have me wondering what it means when he wants doggy.

 

Actually, sometimes I like it when he does it like we're animals, that I'm just a pussy to him for his release.  I'm flattered and happy he chose me over Clair or Lora.

Edited May 13, 2023 by couplers

[let's do it again 412]

42 minutes ago, couplers said:

Now you have me wondering what it means when he wants doggy.

 

Actually, sometimes I like it when he does it like we're animals, that I'm just a pussy to him for his release.  I'm flattered and happy he chose me over Clair or Lora.

I have been told women's view about men wanting doggy style from a variety of directions. Women have told me men like doggy so they can fantasize about another woman or not really into them other than her pussy.have seen 

I tell women that the reason besides that I like the feel is that I like to watch her asshole as I fuck her pussy doggy style. 2 things that I don't know if women realize about getting ready orgasm when being doggy is first they get on their tip toes and their asshole opens up. I have seen women's asshole go from losing their pucker to opening up big enough to drop a dime in it. I guess the muscles from the vagina and anus are connected. Getting back to the original reason I like to view the women's asshole instead of fantasizing of being with a different woman. 

[couplers 4,564]

Most of the time (when we have time) I (as well as Clair and Lora) will go through a variety of positions.  I like to finish on my back, legs up and open wide.  Clair likes to finish missionary too, but lying flat, legs down and more together; Lora is ride 'em cowgirl.  But for each of us, we pass through doggy along the way.

 

22 hours ago, let's do it again said:

Women have told me men like doggy so they can fantasize about another woman

I encourage David and Red to tell me about any woman they fantasize about, whether during sex or normal conversation.  I  tell them that they can close their eyes if they want during missionary and say her name aloud.  It makes me jealous, which I like, and makes me fuck harder.  And being bi, I consider the possibilities...  (The guys almost always keep their eyes open and stare at my face or little tits, sometimes down to what they're doing in my pussy.)   Guys tell me they actually like doggy because it feels different.  I agree. 

 

22 hours ago, let's do it again said:

I like to watch her asshole as I fuck her pussy doggy style.

Interesting.  I like a gentle finger around and in my bum hole.

 

 

Edited May 14, 2023 by couplers
a single comma

[Numex 2,364]

On 1/11/2015 at 3:33 PM, intuition897 said:

The most intimate thing for me would be eye contact.

Most of the time when we play we are just off with a different partner having sex, making love, having fun.  But there are times when Daniela or I or both of us are having sexual intercourse with someone else, but stare at each other lovingly.  Yeah, sometimes watching her suck a dick is exciting, or watching his dick going in and out of her pussy and ejaculating in her is hot.  But looking at her face, into her eyes with her looking back at me with a spaced-out look is beyond special.  She's working towards an orgasm with him, I'm good with it, and she loves me.

[let's do it again 412]

On 1/12/2015 at 12:18 AM, J&Wu said:

As much as I enjoy the taste and smell I don't find oral with my face buried very intimate and even less so,"Doggy Style fucking." I like to face her and be in her and to add,"French Kissing," I feel like part of her.

69 is a close second for me, I think it is the visual again, obviously not the eyes but the red swollen bottom that I can't see coming in from below. And there is a sense of giving and taking together?

I agree with 69 being very intimate and 69 is the most intimate for me ! Many times my partner gets into 69 more than intercourse and like you stated, it's the giving and taking together. 

[Numex 2,364]

For me, having a woman's breasts in my hands is incredibly exciting.  So different from woman to woman: the size, shape, texture, firmness, glandular feeling, symmetry.  The nipples themselves have such variety in firmness, size, protrusion, color, shape like the oval ones, inversions.

 

Watching another man hold, manipulate, squeeze, push, pull my wife's breasts and circle, flick, suck, pinch my wife's pale soft nipples brings all those emotions a husband has when another man is intimate with his wife.  More that fucking, kissing, anal; especially if he is in her and feeling her breasts.  With his hands on her breasts while they're fucking, whether it's missionary or doggy or cowgirl, seeing them engaged in intercourse while he plays with my wife's tits is what makes me want to reclaim my wife right there and then more than anything,.

 

 

Edited December 17, 2023 by Numex