No single males? Why not??

[De and Ci 19]

Originally posted by topdog6

I know women fantasize about two men and that is normal. If you want to fulfill the mfm thing with a single guy though don't fool yourself that he is there for any other reason except that you will DO him.

 

Wow! Really? I have seen the light!!

 

Uhh..what is that the woman wants from this "single" guy (or male half of couple for that matter)??? A meaningful relationship??

 

I cannot believe the bullshit that has been going back and forth on this thread!! All women basically like other women-men are just for sperm. Almost all single guys are jerks-makes you wonder who are these women married to? Their husbands were single at one time. And so on.

 

I guess we are oddballs! My wife loves cock, sometimes she will play around with other women in a limited way but only to entertain the men, she is not attracted to women at all. Translation: They can go down on her-but there is no way she will go down on them. The thought of a MMF turns her on and we did do a little of that and she enjoyed it. If we bring a single guy to play with us-I hope all he wants is an easy lay. Because all my wife would want from him is his cock-for her pleasure. Sure a friendship is ok, but when it comes down to it-swinging is about sex and making it exciting.

[Roxysbayou 19]

Originally posted by De and Ci

I guess we are oddballs! My wife loves cock, sometimes she will play around with other women in a limited way but only to entertain the men, she is not attracted to women at all. Translation: They can go down on her-but there is no way she will go down on them. The thought of a MMF turns her on and we did do a little of that and she enjoyed it. If we bring a single guy to play with us-I hope all he wants is an easy lay. Because all my wife would want from him is his cock-for her pleasure. Sure a friendship is ok, but when it comes down to it-swinging is about sex and making it exciting.

 

I agree with your last starement totally. The thing that I find so interesting about this lifestyle is that I find that my desires are always evolving. When I started out I was only interested in a FMF, and as time went on I progressed to couples and swap. I never really desired a MMF before, but I am opening up more to the idea all the time. I think for me, I would just have to be totally comfortable with the guy. I am not looking to replace or find something better than my hubby. Because there is no better. But there are still tons of fantasies that we have that have not been fulfilled. I think that if we stumble into the right one then we would have no problem with swinging with a single. Until then, I agree that the ones that bombard you with cyber and picture requests are a major turn off.

[Flori_DAMAN 24]

Originally posted by Roxysbayou

I agree with your last starement totally. The thing that I find so interesting about this lifestyle is that I find that my desires are always evolving. When I started out I was only interested in a FMF, and as time went on I progressed to couples and swap. I never really desired a MMF before, but I am opening up more to the idea all the time. I think for me, I would just have to be totally comfortable with the guy. I am not looking to replace or find something better than my hubby. Because there is no better. But there are still tons of fantasies that we have that have not been fulfilled. I think that if we stumble into the right one then we would have no problem with swinging with a single. Until then, I agree that the ones that bombard you with cyber and picture requests are a major turn off.

 

Yeah the pushy, single guys are a turn off.

 

For us single guys that don't go there we have a neat world.

 

The couples that don't do singles are some of the nicest people I have ever met also.

 

I would never knock them as a group.

 

There are many couples that I wouldnt touch with my 9 inch pole though. I guess it works both ways huh?

 

John, who thinks everyone has a place in this world.

[Roxysbayou 19]

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

Yeah the pushy, single guys are a turn off.

 

For us single guys that don't go there we have a neat world.

 

It occured to me, that when I am visible on my IM I get bombarded with guys trying to start a conversation. I don't think many of the ones that I actually have taken the time to talk to were in the lifestyle. I am thinking that they get my IM from some geocities listing or something.

 

So I guess my question for those of you who have had a problem with this sort of stuff is, are the troublesome guys really guys from the lifestyle? Or are they just browsing the listings and seeing swingers come up and thinking that I am going to be an easy person to get to?

[Les_mcdermott 15]

I thing Flori_DAMAN raises an interesting concept.

 

"As I suggested this board is not about meeting people but discussing swinging. Us males that have been swinging for years and are still interested are just as capable of discussing it as the females that may be in the same boat or, just wondering."

 

I suggest that we open a thread for the single/divorces/widowed "person" who wishes to start or continue swinging.

 

I was a swinger. I met and married a woman who required me to be monogamous. She recently divorce me. Now that I am "single" again, how do I get back into swinging? How does one meet a female who is interested in the lifestyle? I can assure you that a man should not give this requirement when he meets "most" women!

 

I am interested in what the forum comments are.

[Flori_DAMAN 24]

Quote

Originally posted by Les_mcdermott

 

I was a swinger. I met and married a woman who required me to be monogamous. She recently divorce me. Now that I am "single" again, how do I get back into swinging? How does one meet a female who is interested in the lifestyle? I can assure you that a man should not give this requirement when he meets "most" women!

 

I am interested in what the forum comments are.

 

First of all we are all individuals and do things differently. I can only speak for myself. After my wife died, excluding a fling about one year later I was a real single swinger. I had lots of familiar clubs and people that I knew. I went way out of my way to be a familiar face at the local swing club. I bar-tended and went there at least twice a month, always stayed overnight, and on holiday weekends when I could. So I was the quintessential single swinger I guess.

 

I then had a 4 year relationship with a lil blonde that would cute the sharpness off a razor. She enjoyed swinging occasionally, but with the lifestyle we had just between us and a whole bunch of kids it was infrequent.

 

One day it came time for me to decide to leave. She didn't follow. I suspected she wouldn't tho.

 

Personally this guy took the whole last year just to get over that. It wasn't even officially over until around Feb of this year, although I knew it was.

 

To answer your question. You just need time. If you are like me maybe you can do it in a year. Maybe two. Sooner or later you will gain self confidence back and find swingers that want to be with you. You will filter girls, like they filter you, and go through lots of fun and lots of disappointments.

 

Just go slow friend. Find yourself first. There are many people that like to swing. Think about it, what do they want, and what do you want?

 

ONly you know these things. Only you can design your future.

 

Sex is just now becoming a reality for me. But I never go to bars, whorehouses, or pick up floozies. I have dated. That's a bitch when you have already been round the block. Most gals that date are so weirded out they are scary. They usually are so focused on any negative factor you may have they can't see you. They end up with jerks that do the same thing there past lovers did anyhow. I hope not many females get insulted by this talk, but its true. Probably for men too in all fairness. Divorcees end up with the same person they divorced but ith a different name quite often. They just end up with more control cuz they insist that the person doesn't act like there old lover, while that was what attracted them in the first place.

 

So, you wanna find a swinging partner. Find someone that loves you for what you are and swinging will come naturally. There is no female that could claim love for me that couldn't discuss my past and understand that is me. She may swing with me, or not. It all depends on her though. If it turns her on then that's a big plus, but swinging isn't my biggest priority in a LTR.

 

Id just suggest that you post a lot, and meet people whenever you can wherever you can. Let the charming, witty, humorous guy out of his cage as often as possible. The pissed off, angry, depressed guy needs to get out now and then too.

 

People on this board understand both sides of that coin. They certainly have with me anyhow. I'm just beginning to meet people again in the lifestyle and just by fortune some are from this board.

 

Don't count on that, but allow it. Remember that you are still you. Whatever qualities you had... you still gotz.

 

Hope that helps.

[Les_mcdermott 15]

I thank you for the encouragement.

[Magicstik 26]

People People calm down..................

 

There are enough of us to go around. My experiences have been like this, there are couples who enjoy the company of other couples, there are couples who enjoy the company of single males, there are couples who enjoy the company of single females, there are couples who enjoy groups, gangbangs, etc. What I'm trying to emphasize here is swinging is for the mutual enjoy of all who are involved. Stick to your particular pleasure and be happy. Don't disdain others if they dont swing as you do. There are jerks in every walk of life, the swinging lifestyle is no different. Not all single men are rude and crude, and just want to fuck, or fall in love with your partner. I have met and remained friends with numerous couples in this lifestyle. Let me remind you, there are many in this country that take a dim view to swinging. LIVE AND LET LIVE

[Dionysis 15]

Quote

Originally posted by thump29

Until recently we had considered single males up until I decided to give one a chance and he was a jerk.

 

So umm if you invited a single female and she acted like a whore and tried to take your man away, would you not swing at all then?

 

Or how about this, you invited a single bi-fem and she tried to seduce you, would you not swing anymore?

 

IMO couples prefer MFF trysts because the husband/bf doesn't want to see another dick, worries about his SO getting attached, and wants to fulfill his fantasy first. After all two ladies playing with each other is gentler than two men playing with a lady according to the common stereotype.

 

To me, couples are more understanding and forthcoming to let me play than a single female. I prefer it this way because the pressure is off on me and I can have the husband/bf keep her attention from waning while I enjoy her at my own pace.

[LadyCleo 16]

He wrote, "How about I fuck your wife while you watch?" thinking that he was writing to my husband. I responded, "How about I fuck you in the ass while my wife watches?" and then put him on ignore.

 

I HATE those ASSHOLES!

 

That being said, *I* don't have a problem persay with single males, I just don't feel that I need another man. I have already done all of the MFMs that I want to do, having the man from the couple is enough for me.

 

Good luck to you all!

LC

[Flori_DAMAN 24]

Quote

Originally posted by Dionysis

So umm if you invited a single female and she acted like a whore and tried to take your man away, would you not swing at all then?

 

Or how about this, you invited a single bi-fem and she tried to seduce you, would you not swing anymore?

 

IMO couples prefer MFF trysts because the husband/bf doesn't want to see another dick, worries about his SO getting attached, and wants to fulfill his fantasy first. After all two ladies playing with each other is gentler than two men playing with a lady according to the common stereotype.

 

To me, couples are more understanding and forthcoming to let me play than a single female. I prefer it this way because the pressure is off on me and I can have the husband/bf keep her attention from waning while I enjoy her at my own pace.

 

That would go well on the portals of the swingers entrance.

[Flori_DAMAN 24]

hey it's all about what your in the mood for TODAY huh.

[eddypasifa 16]

I will admit I am a single male looking strictly for sex with couples or hardcore gangbangs. :)

 

If the couples or women out there have a problem with it then that is fine by me, I will respect that and not persue.

 

If I were to be part of a session, I would also be considerate of the woman's feelings and needs as I love to give pleasure as well as receive.

[curiousgeorge30 15]

BettyAnn, You post makes me so mad. I hate what you typed. It shows prejudice. However you are right. How can couples sift thru the riff raff and find a decent single guy, even if that is what they were looking for.

 

It is a bit disheartening to me since I am a single male, but I know that is part of the landscape as a single male swinger. It sucks, but that is the way it is. One bad apple theory I guess, or in this case 2 or 3 good apples left.

 

Good posts even though it hurt to read them.

[robnbarb 40]

I read a few pages of this, so if this has been said I appologize since I haven't the time to read every single post here.

 

I think the major problem is nature of the beast. Most single men are looking for a quickie fling or an easy lay. they don't get that it takes a woman of the group to actually LIKE the guy in some way. I think this is one of the reasons they get pushy.

 

the other, I believe, is the fact that they honestly beliee the female must be unsatisfied by her husband. While I don't clam to be an expert, I think looking over the board you can easily find plently of women who would be perfectly happy with just thier husbands. But many guys think that this can't be the case cause they are looking for something else. I have seen more than one man confused by that statement, but what can you do.

 

I think also that contributes to the pushyness. They think they have the answer in thier pants and want to prove it, desperatly.

 

This desperation which leads to pushyness also lends itself to a "No single Guys" rule with some couples. Now I think some couples just feel better with a couple, but I am willing to bet that at least a few of them got sick of the guys who kept saying "I can fuck your wife better than you will ever be able to." which is not true cause the new guy will never have the "Love" factor.

 

I am trying to speak from a guy's perspective, this is just my thoughts and nothing more.

[good times 990]

It is actually kind of ironic that when we read this thread about a year ago it was instrumental in our decision not to swing with single males. It appeared to me at the time, and still does, that this thread is a perfect example of the chasm in understanding that exists between single males and couples motivations. I will also be the first to admit, that allthough I'm trying, I still don't understand why a single male would be interested in swinging.

[EternallySingle 32]

It is actually kind of ironic that when we read this thread about a year ago it was instrumental in our decision not to swing with single males. It appeared to me at the time, and still does, that this thread is a perfect example of the chasm in understanding that exists between single males and couples motivations. I will also be the first to admit, that allthough I'm trying, I still don't understand why a single male would be interested in swinging.

 

Well, I can tell you this. There are 3 types of single men that swing. The most common, believe it or not, are men that have been part of a couple, got into swinging, and for one reason or another, the woman left. Maybe she died, maybe they got divorced, maybe they were only living together and when one or both got jobs requiring a move, the other wouldn't go. These men usually find themselves suddenly shunned by the same people they partied with a few months ago.

 

Another common group are young men who, while browsing porn sites or adult book stores, discover this world where married couples have group sex, gang bangs, and threesomes with single men and they want to join, thinking it would be easier to have sex with them instead of building a relationship with a single woman.

 

The last group are men who fell into swinging when they were invited to join a couple for a threesome and decided they liked it. Like any casual relationship, the couple probably stopped contacting the single man or he moved to a new city for a new job, thus is without swing partners again.

 

As for the rest of your question, I could ask why would you, as a married man with an obviously loving, trusting, and sexually adventurous wife, want to swing? Easy. You enjoy it. I enjoyed it. But the motivations are different.

 

I am sure your wife's motivations are not the same as yours. She's a woman, you're a man. You are both looking at the same activity from a different perspective. As a single man, I'm looking at swinging from a perspective that you can't fathom unless you were also involved in swinging when you were a single man. By the same token, your wife has a different perspective on swinging than single women who swing. If I tried to explain my personal motivations for swinging, it would probably take thirty or forty pages. Suffice to say, its because I liked it in the past. While I'd like to get married, I would not consider taking someone else's wife, and neither would most men. How could he trust her if she left with the first guy that comes along? But becoming friends, or at least acquaintences on good terms, goes a long way to broadening your circle of friends, which could lead anywhere.

 

What is the motivation for serious single men who swing? To meet people who have a similar idea about sex and friendship. That, I believe, is the common thread for all swingers.

[good times 990]

I think your probably right ES, I am beginning to believe that I would have had to be one to really understand. I will say that when we first started I thought all single men in the lifestyle were just jerks looking for an easy lay. Over the last couple of years mainly due to guys like yourself on this board who's views on the subject I have come to respect, I think I have progressed to the point of admitting that I just don't quite understand. The only real effect it has had so far is I don't avoid the single males at the clubs like they have the plague or something, and have in fact become friends with a couple of them. But I will keep reading the posts and, hopefully, one day understanding will dawn on me, because this is the one thing in the lifestyle that still leaves me perplexed.

[freakgolfguy25 15]

As a single male I don't belive in that all we want is sex. I would like to find a couple, sf or sm that wants someone to travel with. I belive sex is just a bonus if everything goes well! That is all I have to say.

[supershadow 15]

I find that it is mostly the husband fear that we WILL fuck their wives better than they can. If the wife is satisfied why is she out fucking another guy? This is like working at the buffet but are still hungry, why would that be? It is because the food isn't satisfying. So hubbies try to make themselves more important by cock teasing with their wife. Yes it is cock teasing same as a woman or same as a gay man. Anyways the wife is being polite to her husbands pocketbook by keeping him around, and fucking us real men.

[Spoomonkey 418]

supershadow said:

I find that it is mostly the husband fear that we WILL fuck their wives better than they can. If the wife is satisfied why is she out fucking another guy? This is like working at the buffet but are still hungry, why would that be? It is because the food isn't satisfying. So hubbies try to make themselves more important by cock teasing with their wife. Yes it is cock teasing same as a woman or same as a gay man. Anyways the wife is being polite to her husbands pocketbook by keeping him around, and fucking us real men.

 

Thanks for posting the biggest load of bullshit I think I've ever read here...

 

I take it as I am sure you meant it - as a gaff, something to stir the pot - so with you, I laugh...

[supershadow 15]

Thank you for the thread. It is nice that the women were being polite and the men decieveing themselves.

[Spoomonkey 418]

So why does your wife want a MFM? I am sincerely curious... Perhaps there are some tricks that we can share with you to help you please her better. We are an open bunch...

[curious24 16]

OMG.. this guy is a complete moron. I say ignore him.

[HarleyGirl26 15]

Why not allow single guys at least for the couples that just want a male to play with them? There seem to be a lot of couples that are just looking. Why not even things out there are females looking for single females so why not the other way around this is the new millennium.

[VegasLee 1,486]

This is like working at the buffet but are still hungry, why would that be? It is because the food is nto satisfying.

 

One of the business that Laura and I own is a Hot Dog company here in Vegas. We love Hot Dogs! No less then once a week we go out and eat Hot Dogs from another company someplace in Vegas. We don't do this because we don't like our Hot Dogs, Hell, we have the best Hot Dogs in Las Vegas!!! We do this to make sure we have the best in Vegas! You don't know that you have the best until you get out and test the rest!

 

I think someone posting here does not have a clue about what food and the lifestyle is about.

[WesternSwing 504]

Not only is supershadow a moron, he has some serious issues.

[WoodyInSoCal 15]

I guarantee you that you will get a ton of responses in addition to a lot of pictures that you just would prefer not to see. This alone is enough to taint the image of the single male. Top that off with a club on a night where singles are allowed and it just becomes a done deal in the way of thinking.

 

I hope you will all remember that males are raised to be the pursuers. We are told to step up and offer ourselves to those females that we find attractive.

 

I would categorize couples who swing in four ways: A. those interested only in females; B. those interested only in males; C. those interested only in other couples; and D. those who just like to meet others and enjoy.

 

The swinging couples in category A and C sometimes get purturbed by males who are presenting themselves (sometimes crudly or insensitivly) as candidates. I can only say that those males who do so in ways that offend are being dealt mixed messages. If you read more than a few profiles of couples or single females interested in males, you will read that they want someone who is "hung" or more than 7 inches or something like that. So, when browsing a site and seeing that an attractive woman or couple is open to receiving mail from them, they may fall into the trap of putting everyone together with those interested in "big" guys. (and please, I've been swinging long enough to know that size DOES matter)

 

I have been shunned by many couples because I'm honest enough to present myself as I really am - single. How many of you respond to a post from a couple when you haven't got a clue if the sender really is a couple?

 

But frankly, when I host parties (I've been doing so for over 7 years) the ones that are the most successful are those where the invited single males (pre-selected by females who have attended in the past) turn out to be the best get togethers.

 

I also have asked the attending couples whether they like the extra males in attendance and generally the females say "yes" and their husbands say "no". Swinging is supposed to be primarily for the females. Us males get rewarded by first pleasing the woman we are with and then receiving her gifts in return.

 

So, grumbling husbands, think about your positions on this issue. And ladies, if you really don't want to be innundated by email from single males, please block it and make sure your profile clearly indicates that you aren't interested.

 

And if you go to a club where single males are in attendance and you aren't sure about how it will go, I suggest you do one of two things; pick one where the number of single males is restricted. Ask the hosts about male/female ratios. It shouldn't be more than 2:1 and that includes the husbands.; or don't attend any club that allows single males.

 

It'll save lots of hurt feelings and angry responses to unwanted mail.

 

P.S. I might add that I have been to plenty of parties where the single males were quite well behaved, but the husbands were insulting, aggressive and altogether unwilling to consider the needs of the females they were approaching. Just because the male is being a pain doesn't mean he is single.

[HotMama 15]

Wahhh WAHHHH

 

Someone get Woddy a Tissue.

[BradAndJanet 69]

Wahhh WAHHHH

 

Someone get Woddy a Tissue.

HotMama, I don't understand your response. I think Woody made some good points in his post.

 

-B

[HotMama 15]

HotMama, I don't understand your response. I think Woody made some good points in his post.

 

-B

Good points maybe, but not without complaining about how he is an "honest single male" and he has been shunned by people because they are looking for couples..... If you are single male and get mad because people WHO DONT WANT SINGLE MALES don't talk to you. There is a problem.

 

also have asked the attending couples whether they like the extra males in attendance and generally the females say "yes" and their husbands say "no". Swinging is supposed to be primarily for the females.

WHAT? It is a couples sport... More crying..."its the husbaands keeping the single males down!" He was so upset he took a poll at a club.

 

So, grumbling husbands, think about your positions on this issue. And ladies, if you really don't want to be innundated by email from single males, please block it and make sure your profile clearly indicates that you aren't interested.

Oh yeah, clearly marking the profile always works

 

 

He just sounds like one of the single males looking for a cheap and easy lay.

 

I can see thru the hogwash.

 

He should have just said "cockblocking husbands are ruining my chances of getting laid by an easy girl that wants me" psssstt... There are places you can go where the girls do not have husbands....(A BAR)

[dutch51 15]

We don't mind there being single males at the clubs we've attended- there are couples and other women looking for single males, so they should have their opportunity to hook up as well. And we've enjoyed talking to lots of people regardless of marital status. Everyone should be respectful of others' boundaries and preferences, and this applies to singles as well as couples. Our only problem comes with emails in response to our online profile- we *clearly* state NO Single Males, no couples in which only the male plays, etc. numerous times throughout the profile, and even list our interest in single males as 0, but we still get too many emails where the guy is coming through our town and wants to meet me that evening for some hot and heavy sex. The emails come from "couples" so they get through our filters. And some of them get persistent so we have to block their address.

 

We aren't against single males, and know some great guys to have as friends, it's just that we're having fun with the couples thing and that's where our interest lies right now.

[WoodyInSoCal 15]

HotMama said:

Good points maybe, but not without complaining about how he is an "honest single male" and he has been shunned by people because they are looking for couples..... If you are single male and get mad because people WHO DON'T WANT SINGLE MALES don't talk to you. There is a problem.

Oh, I'm not complaining. I hope that's not the impression I left with everyone else. I am very happy as a single male in the lifestyle. There are plenty of swinging couples and swinging single females who enjoy single men that I really don't care whether "everyone" likes me or wants me.

 

HotMama said:

WHAT? It is a couples sport... More crying..."it's the husbands keeping the single males down!" He was so upset he took a poll at a club.

I host the parties that I "polled". It isn't a club. My guests are my primary concern, so of course I would ask them their preferences. How else would I insure the majority of my friends are enjoying themselves.

 

I simply gave you the results of my "poll"

 

HotMama said:

Oh yeah, clearly marking the profile always works

Don't just mark your profile, read the directions and BLOCK all males. Then you won't be bothered by those pesky guys.

 

HotMama said:

He just sounds like one of the single males looking for a cheap and easy lay.

Hmmmm cheap and easy....So if I pay for it (not cheap) or beg for it (not easy) then it's OK? How is it less cheap or easy for you to go to a club and get laid?

 

HotMama said:

I can see thru the hogwash.

You seem pretty quick to judge. Is there a reason for your hostility?

 

HotMama said:

He should have just said "cockblocking husbands are ruining my chances of getting laid by an easy girl that wants me" psssstt... There are places you can go where the girls do not have husbands....(A BAR)

Psssst.... There are places you can go where you can have as many men as your heart desires - where the husbands who accompany their wives encourage them to enjoy the opportunity.

[hilltop 16]

Wow, I wish I could harness and store the energy all of you are putting into this.

I could power my house for a month!

[Vespertine 31]

Oh, I'm not complaining. I hope that's not the impression I left with everyone else.

I didn't think you were complaining in your previous post. I think your post touched on some valid points and I thank you for sharing your views with us.

 

I'm confused why HotMama responded with such hostility.

[JnCC 24]

The swinging couples [who are interested in couples and single females only] sometimes get purturbed by males who are presenting themselves (sometimes crudly or insensitivly) as candidates. I can only say that those males who do so in ways that offend are being dealt mixed messages.

You're saying that a couple who expresses interest ONLY in other couples and single females is "sending mixed messages" to single males? Where is the ambiguity in that? It all seems pretty clear to me. If you don't understand why they "sometimes get perturbed" then perhaps you're not as attuned to couples, and why they participate in the Lifestyle, as you think.

 

If you read more than a few profiles of couples or single females interested in males, you will read that they want someone who is "hung" or more than 7 inches or something like that...and please, I've been swinging long enough to know that size DOES matter

Yep, that's true! When a couple gets 30-50 hits a month from single guys, they can afford to be "selective" as to dick size, age, appearance, education, or any other quality they're seeking. That doesn't make them bad people. Lord knows if I were the only male guard in a prison full of females, I'd only fuck the pretty ones. Does that make me shallow, too?

 

But frankly, when I host parties (I've been doing so for over 7 years) the ones that are the most successful are those where the invited single males (pre-selected by females who have attended in the past) turn out to be the best get togethers....I also have asked the attending couples whether they like the extra males in attendance and generally the females say "yes" and their husbands say "no".

You're missing the point, and perhaps, a fundamental understanding of why swinging works. This is something a couple does together. It matters not that one of them wants to do something, you need the approval of both before it will happen.

 

Also, I wouldn't put much weight on the notion that women "like the extra males in attendance" at your parties. You make it very clear that single males are invited to your parties, so it would be natural to assume that the people there "liked" them. Trust me on this...there are a considerable number of couples who simply wouldn't attend a party hosted by a single male and to which other single males had been invited. I know, because I was part of one such couple.

 

Swinging is supposed to be primarily for the females. Us males get rewarded by first pleasing the woman we are with and then receiving her gifts in return.

I don't know where you got that notion, but it's patently wrong. Tupperware parties are primarily for the females. Swing parties are primarily for the males, but orchestrated and controlled by the females.

 

Let me put this another way...Have you EVER known a group of single women to organize a swing party? Tupperware, yes. "Fuckerware," yes. Skin care products, yes. But a swing party? NEVER, at least in my experience. Why? because NO reasonably attractive woman ever needed to attend a "swing party" to get her physical needs met. I've come to that conclusion after spending the last 25 years on the road, staying everywhere from truck stops to 4-star hotels. At least at a hotel bar or pool, she has a choice of many professional men, and not the 7 or 8 that have been "preselected" by a party host or "$creened" by a club manager.

 

And considering that most women can have sex anytime, with almost anybody...Do you really think that they perceive "swinging" as a way to reward their husbands for having sex with them? I don't. I think if there are any "rewards" being dealt, it's for all those times they don't screw around on the road, and all the times that they're unconditionally loved and provided for. That includes "bad hair days," PMS days, "carrying a little extra water" days, backed-the-minivan-into-his new-Harley days, and so many more. Love and affection are what motivates a woman to swing, and trust and committment are what facilitates it. Swinging is NOT some silly "reward" system for their husbands having sex with them.

 

grumbling husbands, think about your positions on this issue.

The "grumbling husbands" have thought about their positions on this issue. Now, it's up to you, and every other single male on the periphery of this lifestyle, to respect their wishes.

 

This really isn't about your dick.

[HotMama 15]

Oh, I'm not complaining. I hope that's not the impression I left with everyone else. I am very happy as a single male in the lifestyle. There are plenty of swinging couples and swinging single females who enjoy single men that I really don't care whether "everyone" likes me or wants me.

I agree, but then why lobby "why single males should be accepted" if you have your hands full?

 

I host the parties that I "polled". It isn't a club. My guests are my primary concern, so of course I would ask them their preferences. How else would I insure the majority of my friends are enjoying themselves.

I simply gave you the results of my "poll" So "your friends" (the husband) seemed not to want single males.... Swinging and swapping is a TEAM sport. His decision matters too.

 

Don't just mark your profile, read the directions and BLOCK all males. Then you won't be bothered by those pesky guys.

What if we don't want to block all males, occasionaly we like to contact one. Why should we not have that option?

 

You seem to think you will get extra credit for saying you are a single male and not "pretending" to be a couple.....

 

Hmmmm cheap and easy....So if I pay for it (not cheap) or beg for it (not easy) then it's OK? How is it less cheap or easy for you to go to a club and get laid?

Because I can have sex with my husband w/o leaving the house.... you will be playing the skinflute by yourself if you stayed home alone and did not go to a club.

 

You seem pretty quick to judge.

Yes, I have children.... I can see agenda thru crap.

 

 

Is there a reason for your hostility?

No hostility, just call them like I see them... sounds like you were crying a river to me.... Whats wrong with saying it?

 

Psssst.... There are places you can go where you can have as many men as your heart desires - where the husbands who accompany their wives encourage them to enjoy the opportunity.

Thats fantastic, enjoy!

[HotMama 15]

I'm confused why HotMama responded with such hostility.

 

Thats what is wrong with the world today, everything is sugar coated...

 

No one is fat anymore, they are "big boned" or have a "gland problem" or are a BBW.... (It is all fine BTW)

 

And our children, all have ADD...and need medicine...... when my Husband and I were younger and you could not pay attention, or sit still ... you were "Antsy" ......

 

I just call them like I see them, if that makes me "hostile" So be it.

[Guest Mr&Mrs-naughty]

HotMama said:

That's what is wrong with the world today, everything is sugar coated...

I just call them like I see them, if that makes me "hostile" So be it.

 

I'll also call it as I see it-and the way I see it, if it pissed you off that bad then maybe you should've just passed on the 'reply'.

 

It sounds like you have issues that go way beyond the topic of this thread. It's not fair to unleash it on someone who was stating his point of view in a very non-combative way.

 

We are all about sharing different opinions & believe me, we have very different ones than most,....but we do our best not to attack others for not sharing them.

 

Sugar coating has nothing to do with it.

 

count to ten & breathe.....

[WoodyInSoCal 15]

You're saying that a couple who expresses interest ONLY in other couples and single females is "sending mixed messages" to single males? Where is the ambiguity in that? It all seems pretty clear to me. If you don't understand why they "sometimes get perturbed" then perhaps you're not as attuned to couples, and why they participate in the Lifestyle, as you think.

JnCC, believe it or not I agree with you on this point. A couple who is not interested in single males is not sending mixed messages if they indicate on their profile that they aren't interested. On SLS as an example, they can do several things. A. they can set the value for interest in males to zero. B. they can block single males from sending them mail. C. they can block single males from even seeing their profile.

 

If by some subterfuge a single male (posing as a couple) manages to contact them after they have done everything they can to prevent the contact, then the webmaster needs to be informed of the deceitful single male. From my understanding of the site I just mentioned, none of the blocking methods would prevent a couple from contacting a single male that they found interesting.

 

However, if the couple's profile indicates some interest in single males, they allow mail from single males or they haven't blocked their profile from single males, then isn't that a mixed message if they really don't want to be approached by them? Maybe it's simply an issue of not being familiar with the mechanisms available to limit access to those they are not interested in - in which case the webmaster of the site should be prodded to provide more visible tutorials on the workings of the site.

 

Yep, that's true! When a couple gets 30-50 hits a month from single guys, they can afford to be "selective" as to dick size, age, appearance, education, or any other quality they're seeking. That doesn't make them bad people. Lord knows if I were the only male guard in a prison full of females, I'd only fuck the pretty ones. Does that make me shallow, too?

I may be having trouble conveying my thoughts. I don't believe anyone is bad. Nor do I think being selective is wrong or shallow, it's what I think all of life is about - making choices

 

Trust me on this...there are a considerable number of couples who simply wouldn't attend a party hosted by a single male and to which other single males had been invited. I know, because I was part of one such couple.

I agree with you on this too. I make sure everyone who is invited to one of my parties where single males will be in attendance are aware of the fact. I think that's only good manners and common courtesy.

 

...Have you EVER known a group of single women to organize a swing party?

Yes. I have also been approached by women asking me to arrange a party for them.

 

Now, it's up to you, and every other single male on the periphery of this lifestyle, to respect their wishes.

It's all about choices, isn't it?

[JnCC 24]

if the couple's profile indicates some interest in single males, they allow mail from single males or they haven't blocked their profile from single males, then isn't that a mixed message if they really don't want to be approached by them?

Is your concern over "couples not responding to single men" because you feel they don't respond to single men in general, or because they're not responding to you?

 

Couples who are accept mail from single males are usually open to the possibility of meeting one. (There are exceptions, but they are few in number) That doesn't mean those couples are obligated to meet every one who contacts them. As I've said in here before, a successful MFM encounter is probably the most difficult thing in all of swinging to ochestrate, both for the couple and for the extra male. They should be picky about who they enter into it with.

 

Males who have been in the Lifestyle as part of a couple understand this quite well. Males who fancy themselves "single male Schwingers, Baby!" after reading a book or magazine article will NEVER understand it.

 

The bottom line to all this? If you're not happy with the reception you're receiving from the swinging community, you need to take a step back and ask yourself, "Am I being realistic in my expectations from this community?" Sad as it may be, most single males in their mid-50's shouldn't have very high expectations from this Lifestyle. I'm not saying it won't happen, I'm just saying it's not very likely, especially with women from "21 to 40+," as you seem to be seeking.

 

I take that back. I see you're in Toluca Lake, L.A. If you throw in an apartment and a BMW convert, and agree not to "visit" more than once a week, you can probably score a thrice-married "40+" woman to party with.

 

Just remember to keep the Beemer registered in your name...

[C n' D 4playin 15]

WoodyInSoCal said:

 

However, if the couple's profile indicates some interest in single males, they allow mail from single males or they haven't blocked their profile from single males, then isn't that a mixed message if they really don't want to be approached by them? Maybe it's simply an issue of not being familiar with the mechanisms available to limit access to those they are not interested in - in which case the webmaster of the site should be prodded to provide more visible tutorials on the workings of the site.

 

It's all about choices, isn't it?

 

I can only speak from our experience......

 

Our profile would fit your scenario:

 

we do not have ANYONE blocked (as a group).....we reserve that for various and sundry morons as they appear over the horizon.

 

We DO mention in there that we "sometimes" have an interest in a single male.....(we even used red font in hopes of having it noticed)

We feel that it is amply clear .....with very little ambiguity about who would contact who. (there is even a 2nd paragraph further in the profile addressing the issue again........ for those that would / could read)

 

Your implication that because couples sometimes chose NOT to use "mechanical methods of blocking"... "WE", therefore, are in someway or the other sending a "mixed message" to the poor befuddled single males is ludicrous. The message is "mixed" only if he is illiterate or never bothered to read to see if there might be some basis for attraction. To try to justify unwanted correspondence as the fault of the profile is pretty lame. However...either way...what we have found with this text is a filter that works, for us, to some degree. We have little interest in ANY partner(s) single or couples that can not read or comprehend. We feel those are the first steps to communication, which is important to us in the choice of partners. It does not stop the mail....but it sure makes the delete button an easier judgment.

 

We, however, are quite sure that somewhere out there...at this very moment... is some single guy.....pissing and moaning about "couples that say they enjoy single guys"...but delete HIS mail. OH!......the speciousness of the situation!

 

We believe that the few who do read our profile....and respond with some forethought and consideration of what was written find us quite open to discussion.

 

Those that can't....fall into the "other" category...which BTW seems to be about 98% of the worlds population.

 

Your "mixed messages" excuse is nothing but that... excuses.

[goyaahhs 15]

I am a married man and my wife and I have been attending clubs for the past 6 years. 2 years ago we had our first child and she doesnt beel like going to clubs just yet, (hard to find a good sitter) but I still attend occasionally. However since she isnt attending I get the "single male" lable and now looked down upon. Ther are a few friends of ours that know me and accept me as half a couple, but lots of others have the opinion that I am just there prowling for flesh. I do look foreward to my wife rejoining and attending the clubs with me soon.

[curiousagain 326]

I am a married man and my wife and I have been attending clubs for the past 6 years. 2 years ago we had our first child and she doesnt beel like going to clubs just yet, (hard to find a good sitter) but I still attend occasionally. However since she isnt attending I get the "single male" lable and now looked down upon. Ther are a few friends of ours that know me and accept me as half a couple, but lots of others have the opinion that I am just there prowling for flesh. I do look foreward to my wife rejoining and attending the clubs with me soon.

 

So, what you're saying is that you find a world of difference in how you're treated in that situation. That, those who don't know you as half of a couple treat you differently, maybe even worse, since they see you as a single male, irregardless that your behavior is no different than it was before?

[WoodyInSoCal 15]

It's not fair to unleash it on someone who was stating his point of view in a very non-combative way.

Thank you Mrs-naughty, I am new to the blog world and probably haven't figured out how to make myself clearly understood.

 

I do appreciate your kindness.

[WoodyInSoCal 15]

Is your concern over "couples not responding to single men" because you feel they don't respond to single men in general, or because they're not responding to you?

I'm not concerned. I personally respect everyone's interest or disinterest in me.

[WoodyInSoCal 15]

most single males in their mid-50's shouldn't have very high expectations from this Lifestyle. I'm not saying it won't happen, I'm just saying it's not very likely, especially with women from "21 to 40+," as you seem to be seeking.

Uh, I just ran back to my profile on SLS to confirm the ages I listed that I was interested in. I am NOT interested in women 21 to 40. I listed my interests as 35 - 99. I did say that if a woman over 21 wanted to meet me I wouldn't turn them down. :-) Believe it or not, some women who are are 35 and over actually find me interesting and sometimes attractive - just like those people not as lucky to have the life experiences I have.

 

And honestly, I have met some very nice women and couples on SLS who enjoy my company. I think my expectations are just where they should be and I personally hold no bad feelings for anyone who isn't interested in me. I certainly don't say "hi" to everyone on SLS, because they don't interest me, so I absolutely respect others who aren't interested in me either.

[Mr.Hyde69 16]

I'll be honest with you guys. If I were a single male the last thing in the world I would want to do is swing given the attitudes of a lot of the couples and the utter lack of value that is placed on my ilk that is generally promoted in "the lifestyle". I actually find it rather amusing that couples and EBF's often will place themselves so far above single males in swinging. I guess it's kind of like high school in some respects. Looking back on the most popular people in school, I realized that a lot of the cheerleaders/popular girls had flat or fat/wide asses, flat/unattractive chests, non-remarkable/unattractive faces and the only thing that they had going for them was possibly good hair and their status.

 

Somewhere along the way these people were catapulted for some ungodly reason into social privilege. And even though most of the school didn't suffer from any major terminal visual impairment, everybody lusted after these people. These folks though undeservedly, had their pick of the litter so to speak. In a lot of respects I think that couples and single females are the group sex equivalent of them. Some single males do bring a lot of their woes upon themselves but in general I think they get a bad rap often unfairly.

 

My wife and I just deactivated the last of our online profiles due to undesirables who didn't have a clue contacting us. The thing is that the undesirables were not for the most part single males. They were mostly couples.

 

Overall, with the exception of one guy in particular, we found the single males demeanor on average far more considerate and conducive than the couples. It has been our experience that there are just as many if not slightly more creepy couples out there than single males contact per contact. There are just more single males in general. Singles can be weird but there is a certain level of disturbing that a really messed up and freaky couple can achieve that a single just can't touch. But that is just our opinion and you know what they say about those.

[Mr.Hyde69 16]

After re-reading my late night post I thought I would go ahead an issue a disclaimer before someone flames me. I do not think that all couples and single females have a sense of superiority to single males. Just like all single males arent clueless creeps that are just looking for easy pussy. It's just something that if you really pay attention to all of the intricacies of the social dynamics in group sex/swinging environments you dont have to look very far or hard to witness that kind of mentality. We personally like swingers of all classifications equally. We believe that s. males,s. females and couples all have their pros and cons but each catagory is of fairly equal value to us sexually. If I insulted anyone it really wasnt my intention to do so. I just hate to see any group (especially underdogs so to speak) getting picked on/ganged up on.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

After re-reading my late night post I thought I would go ahead an issue a disclaimer before someone flames me. I do not think that all couples and single females have a sense of superiority to single males. Just like all single males arent clueless creeps that are just looking for easy pussy. It's just something that if you really pay attention to all of the intricacies of the social dynamics in group sex/swinging environments you dont have to look very far or hard to witness that kind of mentality. We personally like swingers of all classifications equally. We believe that s. males,s. females and couples all have their pros and cons but each catagory is of fairly equal value to us sexually. If I insulted anyone it really wasnt my intention to do so. I just hate to see any group (especially underdogs so to speak) getting picked on/ganged up on.

 

So are you a single male? Cuz your profile says Couple, yet your post leads me to believe that "my ilk" is referring to single males.