What makes you want to swing?

[Amanda69 24]

Because it is fun and humans have a natural attraction to other people so why not use it to our advantage.

[FunInVA 15]

We want to swing to live out some fantasies and naturally we need other people to do that! We have been together since highschool and we are not getting any younger. Husband asked me about this about 9yrs ago and I was absolutely not for it, would not even discuss it. Since then, I have grown up and ready to try new things!

[Spoomonkey 418]

Because I can't afford golf clubs...

 

 

Actually - the truth is - we swing because we are very sexual and it is the purest form of who we are. We are the most "ourselves" when we are free to express our sexuality. It is simply the crowd we are the most comfortable with.

[intuition897 2,177]

I've absolutely got to Dito Vegas Lee on this one. The activity in itself is a blast; it really brings out the kid in you if you allow it to. Remember when you were a kid? You didn't sit down and analyze the game of Duck Duck Goose to death, you just rolled your eyes and said, "So do you wanna play or not??" It's great because you can drop all the adult pretenses, and to hell with all the social "chit-chat" that we learned when we grew up (you know, how when someone says, "Hi, how are you?" they don't actually want to know how you feel). Instead we just pay attention to what's important: living life and living it well.

 

Then of course, there's the other benefit package: the amazing effect it has on your relationship. As we said in our SLS profile, we swing because we can. We have that choice. As Lee said, you can't imagine what a weight it is off of a marriage to never have to worry about your spouse screwing around behind your back. Long business trips don't bother us. Working around attractive people all day does not bother us. The notion of someone trying to "steal" us from one another is just downright laughable. In fact, I'd feel like a cat with a toy mouse if some little tart tried pulling that stunt. It makes life SO much more deliciously fun!

[happycampersfor 24]

We swing and swap because we enjoy the freedom of a jealousy-free relationship, and it helps us live our lives closer to each other by the trust in each other we have gained.

[The Fuse 1,012]

It's hard to encapsulate why we swing. First it seems obvious, but then I stumble trying to put it into words. Anyone see that episode of The West Wing where someone with presidential ambitions is asked "Why do you want to be President?", and just can't answer it without sounding like a bumbling moron?

 

I swing because I love it when someone I want, wants me -- and actually having sex with them is such a complete rush, in the week leading up to it, during it, and for weeks afterward.

 

I swing because I love it when a woman we like wants to be with Mr. Fuse. He brightens up like a little boy -- I can practically see sunshine coming off his face. The sight of him getting the positive attention from another woman is great. The sight of him pleasing her, and her pleasing him, does things to me I can't put into words.

 

I swing because I like feeling the special kind of security, trust, and surety that comes from knowing Mr. Fuse and I are together for the long run, even though we feel lust for others, and have the freedom, the incredible freedom, to act on it.

 

I swing because I like feeling just a little superior to people who haven't figured it out yet.

 

I swing because even though it's a bit of a strain to have a secret that much of the world would be horrified at, I like the double-life aspect of it, the mystery, the slightly surreal feeling.

 

I swing because I love the variety of sexual experiences we have. People are so different from each other in what they like, how they feel, how they move, how they sound, how they feel, how they do things...and how they feel.

 

Is that enough?

[starryeyes 23]

How can one improve on it... The Fuse says it all! Thanks for saving my fingers from typing it out!!

 

Oh yeah and we have smiles on our faces for quite a long time after!!

[Darter02 15]

For me it’s mainly the many interesting people I meet that keeps me coming around. I have been finding that “swinger’s” for the most part are a very social group of people. Attending M&G, gong to clubs to mingle and enjoying evening out on the town with like minded and sexually open friends is a real thrill for me. I also enjoy the fact that when I am in the midst of swingers I can flirt and be myself and know I won’t cause any waves or jealousy.

 

In fact, I would dare say it’s the social aspects more than the sex that I enjoy! How weird is that? LOL

[goodgurl 15]

For us...it is exciting, fantasy, a little naughty, the closeness that we share with each other, a time to step out of our everyday life, chance to meet people that enjoy the same "interesting" things we do and of course the party tricks.

[ohash01 20]

Had one late-night, slightly drunken MFM...had a blast...decided we'd like to set it up so that we do it more often and when sober.

 

J. and I came home and we talked about it. He had some reservations that it was because he wasnt enough for me. After a lot of talking we realized that wasn't the case at all.

 

That was the short version.

[rpu3 630]

Short version: Why not?

 

Longer: Monogamy doesn't suit us at this time. I/we just weren't utterly convinced that the one we married was the only person we could be with sexually for the rest of our natural lives.

[LFM2 1,481]

This is our opinion. It's not because we need anyone else to satisfy our sexual needs.

 

People love their spouses in many ways. I believe my husband and I, as swingers, have a different kind of love. I see that our love for each other is so unconditional, so pure, so deep, that we encourage each other to seek out and fulfill fantasies. We truly derive our pleasure out of seeing our partner’s happiness. Since swinging is based on respect, what we do is not cheating. There is no deception involved. Our spouses know our every move.

[anothercouple69 17]

As long as everyone is on the same page, isn't that what matters? Both of us believe that humans are not monogamous by nature. However, the instinctual thought of one being cheated on, without a doubt, can blemish one's relationship. We've come to a mutual agreement where "playing" with others satisfies our natural instincts without the horrors of cheating and lying.

[Spoomonkey 418]

For us it was an overflow of an exceptional sex life. We weren't spicing anything up or anything else, it just seemed a fun thing to do.

 

We love the thrill of watching each other play and really just getting to express ourselves with playmates.

 

Really, rpu3 said it best. Why not?

 

We both wanted to be "naughty" together so we took this up. So far, so very freaking good

[ShellyM 1]

We entered into the lifestyle because we were married for 15 years, are in love with each other, and wanted to try all kinds of fun, kinky sex. We aren't looking for love, we are looking for hot, sweaty, up against the wall screwing for the sake of screwing sex.

 

Oh, and to enhance our relationship.

 

There, I said the politically correct answer, are you happy?

 

It is nice to meet you!

[Dryon 15]

anothercouple69 said:

As long as everyone is on the same page, isn't that what matters? Both of us believe that humans are not monogamous by nature. However, the instinctual thought of one being cheated on, without a doubt, can blemish one's relationship. We've come to a mutual agreement where "playing" with others satisfies our natural instincts without the horrors of cheating and lying.

 

Basically the same for us but she also likes women. now without us playing how in the hell could i have satisfied that aspect of things?

 

It also helps that the night we met we were in a 3some and while we know the meaning of the word jealous we just dont understand it.

[clutch 27]

My wife and I both grew up in families where one or the other parents had extramarital sex--a lot of extramarital sex. It wasn't swinging, it was just cheating.

 

We've subsequently both have had affairs. Again, not swinging but cheating.

 

We both determined that we love each other very much.

 

We've been raised to think nothing's wrong with multiple sexual partners.

 

We like variety.

 

We love each other enough to share each other and be glad for each other's pleasured derived.

 

Therefore, with full open communication and honesty, and just a few rules that we agree we won't violate... we swing.

[Amanda69 24]

Because it is a naturally wonderful thing to do for your relationship

[seeking69 15]

All I can say is "Why not"? Have a happy swinging time.

[pagan-lovers 15]

When the Mrs. and I got together it became apparent fairly quickly we were both very sexual people. We had amazingly hot sex and openly discussed our fantasies. When the opportunity presented itself we did our first FMF. Afterward we openly discussed what we liked, didn't like etc. and of course had more great sex. It was as if we became one person who's single goal was to bring as much pleasure to this other person. Later we had what you might describe as a girlfriend, she was a good friend we played with and ran around with. She even lived with us for a while. Boy did I get the looks when the TWO of them would stop by work and I received a smooch from both.

 

Fast forward a few years and we had become good friends with a couple who were also very openly sexual (they actually bought us porn for Christmas ). During our conversations the topic of a foursome was brought up. My wife and I discussed this alone as all our encounters up to this point involved a single woman. I assured her I was OK with a man being in the picture, but oral only. So we proceeded. During what I think was the second encounter with these two, we both experienced what I can only describe as a "light bulb moment". The ladies had just finished and rolled off of each other both ending up lying directly in front of the other spouses raging hard-on (at that moment the thought running through my mind was "I could do this"). We all exchanged glances but said nothing, after all, the rules we set were oral only. Afterward my wife and I told each other what was running through our minds and found that we both had the same thought at that moment. Next time we got together with this couple was our first full swap.

 

All this time we never considered ourselves swingers, Just a couple who had friends with benefits. We never set out to be swingers, we thought swinging was about random sex with strangers.

 

Enter the internet, with the freedom of information the internet brought about, I began reading and found out the what were doing was swinging by definition. I read the open communication and clear boundaries we had developed were the very thing that makes this work for so many.

 

Sorry for such such a long post but it's a long story. The time passed between our first 3sum and our first swing club? 10 years.

[Guest MrsVan]

For MrVan and I, we both had fantasies that we wanted to fulfill. We did not come into the lifestyle because either of us felt that we were not getting what we wanted because that was not the case. We had already an amazing sex life and wanted to spice it up. As we talked more about our fantasies, we found out more about each other than we thought. I had wanted to try the lifestyle with my ex-husband and he was extremely against it, and MrVan's ex was the same way.

 

So it seemed that for both of us we were extremely happy with our hot, passionate sex but wanted to spice it up even more. I also had a curiosity of woman and going into the lifestyle it was something I wanted to try and if we had not been in the lifestyle I would not have been able to approach MrVan with that fantasy as well.

 

My thoughts is again like everyone else....Why not? There is no cheating and no thought of cheating as we have the relationship we wanted and the love of our life, now we just want to let out some of that pent up sex drive that we both have and what better way than to share it with others.

[northindycpl 32]

We needs some extra hands and parts to live out my fantasies. Mr. Indy is all about living out my fantasies

[sereneiders 263]

As stated before... WHY NOT?

 

Seriously, I believe this is a way more relevant question to ask yourself. It's the one hard to answer, as for you question, the answer is really simple: because we CAN.

[Cloud of Love 16]

Why not, indeed!

 

When my wife and I started discussing this a few months ago, we mutually came up with three main objections:

 

1) We are very busy trying to raise our kids. Would adding swinging to our life make this more difficult? Would it have a negative impact on the children?

 

2) Risk of STDs

 

3) Body image issues. Neither one of us are in the best shape and improving this and having more self-confidence is something we want to work on before taking further steps.

 

Ultimately we decided not to swing at this time, and probably not until the kids are grown up (or at least more grown up than they are). But we will continue to think about it, explore the idea, perhaps go to a strip club together and see how we handle a shared lap dance or something.

[lwg8tr 15]

northindycpl said:

We needs some extra hands and parts to live out my fantasies. Mr. Indy is all about living out my fantasies

 

I love that, simple and to the point.

[Califblonde 15]

Because neither one of us believes that humans are meant to be sexually monogamous.We decided early on ,it was better to be open and honest then to maybe cheat. It's that simple!

[SuAndBud 21]

Because for the majority (not all, perhaps) of people a lifelong of monogamy is next to hell or impossible (which would you choose).

 

Human's aren't meant to be monogamous, in our opinion (could be wrong).

 

1) We could play away from home &/or supress our feelings.

 

Or

 

2) We could be honest and explore them.

 

The second of those choices is a lot of fun if you and your partner are strong in your love for each other.

 

Far too many do the first.

[gatorvol64 216]

We just decided to have some fun and live out some of the fantasies. And wow! That has been more fun than we thought it would.

 

Vol

[sereneiders 263]

1) We are very busy trying to raise our kids. Would adding swinging to our life make this more difficult? Would it have a negative impact on the children?

 

You don't have time nor energy to spend, but you'd like to? Ok, it's agood motivation but it isn't and objection against swinging.

 

2) Risk of STDs

 

A good one, but again, it isn't an objection to swing. A lot of people die in car accidents, but most people keep driving cars. Some may not want to drive because of the risk of having an accident, but we woul'd be talking of the FEAR because of the risk an not the risk itself.

 

Anyone having sex have the STD risks, it dimish if you have a settled, monogamous relationship, but it won't drop to zero risk. Vanilla kids, just dating someone, engage the risk when having sex. Would you advice kids to avoid having sex, or to wear condoms? We know kids urge for sex use to be strong enough as for them to face the risk. For swinging it is the same, if the desire to explore and share your sexuality with others is strong enough, you'll end up doing it, and if it isn't, it wont.

 

Vanilla people who don't swing but cheat on their spouses should share this concern as well... the point is, this isn't a concern specifically about swinging, but about sex. Swinging involve sex, thus it "inherits" this concern.

 

A to oppose an example, the risk of hurting your spouse feelings is a concern about swinging.

 

3) Body image issues. Neither one of us are in the best shape and improving this and having more self-confidence is something we want to work on before taking further steps.

 

You'd be surprised, most of the swingers aren't in their best shape, nor expect other swingers to be in their best shape. We're all in the same boat here.. body issues, aging, not wanting the pressure because of this, thus, not pressing anyone else because of this. Of course, there are people who cares about this, but I'd say this falls into the cathegory of a fear grounded on a prejudice.

 

Ultimately we decided not to swing at this time, and probably not until the kids are grown up (or at least more grown up than they are). But we will continue to think about it, explore the idea, perhaps go to a strip club together and see how we handle a shared lap dance or something.

 

Well... this is great, but this doesn't sound as an objection to swing... nor what I asked from the OP.

 

Ultimatelly, it's a matter of what you CAN (or could) do.

[hotcpl4unfla 18]

Wife and I have been married for over 10 years. After watching many hours of girl-girl porn, the quest ensued to find the elusive single bi female. To no avail. Then, we met a couple and our conversations routinely turned to sex. We found out they had swung before. The wife became very interested in having sex with the other wife, and it eventually happened one night in a hotel. Incredible. Since then, there have been many repeats and taking it to new levels. It is fantastic when you find a compatible couple. We do other things with them other than sex, it is kind of like "friends with benefits". I love it, and so does the wife. But we can either take it or leave it, our one on one sex is even more incredible now.

[Cloud of Love 16]

You don't have time nor energy to spend, but you'd like to? Ok, it's agood motivation but it isn't and objection against swinging.

 

A good one, but again, it isn't an objection to swing. A lot of people die in car accidents, but most people keep driving cars. Some may not want to drive because of the risk of having an accident, but we woul'd be talking of the FEAR because of the risk an not the risk itself.

 

Vanilla people who don't swing but cheat on their spouses should share this concern as well... the point is, this isn't a concern specifically about swinging, but about sex. Swinging involve sex, thus it "inherits" this concern.

 

A to oppose an example, the risk of hurting your spouse feelings is a concern about swinging.

 

You'd be surprised, most of the swingers aren't in their best shape, nor expect other swingers to be in their best shape.

 

Well... this is great, but this doesn't sound as an objection to swing... nor what I asked from the OP.

 

Ultimatelly, it's a matter of what you CAN (or could) do.

 

Well, I didn't say I object to swinging...I think it's a cool idea but we've just decided not to do it right now.

 

We continue to discuss it and we've both come to the conclusion that we have no objection to it in theory. We don't think it would harm our relationship. . .neither of us have sexual jealousy about the other or have ever gotten our feelings hurt over sexual issues. It's just the timing doesn't seem right in our lives right now. That's all I was trying to say.

[Cloud of Love 16]

One other point: my wife points out that I am emotionally "wired like a girl" and that she is more "wired like a guy," in that it has always been more difficult for me to seperate love from sex than it has been for her. She says she's more worried about swinging causing emotional confusion for me than it would for her, which I find an interesting point.

[NandTfromCA 84]

Cloud of Love said:

One other point: my wife points out that I am emotionally "wired like a girl" and that she is more "wired like a guy," in that it has always been more difficult for me to separate love from sex than it has been for her. She says she's more worried about swinging causing emotional confusion for me than it would for her, which I find an interesting point.

Whatever your reasons for doing or not doing, it sound like you two have communicated well about this.

 

To the OP- Why do we swing? Because it is SO FREAKIN' FUN!!! There's the obvious sex with others (our original motivation), and then all of the other cool byproducts; new friends, increased social confidence, increased sexual confidence, a kickass hobby to do together, a reason to meet all kinds of different people with different personalities, seeing my wife enjoying herself immensely, it demystified sex with other people…the list goes on.

 

There may be other ways we could do some of those things, but this way suits us well.

[Cloud of Love 16]

NandTfromCA said:

Whatever your reasons for doing or not doing, it sound like you two have communicated well about this.

 

Yes, this is true.

 

Part of the reason we have considered this is that the descriptions of successful swinging couples sound so much like us...a relationship built on love and unconditional trust. My wife and I are still very much in love after 15 years, we are very in tune, we communicate extremely well and are very honest and open with each other.

 

Few of our current friends have the same kind of marriage that we do. Almost all of our friends have relationships where they snip and snipe at each other and communicate poorly, and frankly at times it is hard to be friends with some of them as a couple...they are busy sniping at each other, while my wife and I are holding hands or flirting or sending each other positive vibes.

 

And frankly, the few people we know who seem to have happy relationships like ours are swingers or at least swing-curious. Which is why we started talking about swinging in the first place....we saw ourselves in the descriptions of the happy swinging couples.

[sereneiders 263]

One other point: my wife points out that I am emotionally "wired like a girl" and that she is more "wired like a guy," in that it has always been more difficult for me to seperate love from sex than it has been for her. She says she's more worried about swinging causing emotional confusion for me than it would for her, which I find an interesting point.

 

Indeed, it is an interesting point, moreover, it's one that a lot of swingers preffers to deny or avoid to face.

 

Particularly, from the very begining of our swinging journey, we find out the whole "feelings" issue was some sort of black hole when talking about swinging stuff with other swingers. I understand the need to preserve ourselves and the relationships, and I respect the boundaries people set, but up to some extent, I ask myself if some people just shifted the boundaries, but there still are insecurities leading to jealous there.

 

So, just to give you some food for thoughts. Let's suppose she is right and you cannot separe sex from "love" (or whatever "intermediate" feeling that could bring up), how this could lead you an emotional confusion? Would you forget what your wife means for you because you have feelings for someone else too? Do you have this fear? Does your wife have it? Why?

 

I am not asking you to answer those questions to me, I just believe it'd be interesting for you two to dig depper.

[Cloud of Love 16]

Indeed, it is an interesting point, moreover, it's one that a lot of swingers preffers to deny or avoid to face.

 

Particularly, from the very begining of our swinging journey, we find out the whole "feelings" issue was some sort of black hole when talking about swinging stuff with other swingers. I understand the need to preserve ourselves and the relationships, and I respect the boundaries people set, but up to some extent, I ask myself if some people just shifted the boundaries, but there still are insecurities leading to jealous there.

 

So, just to give you some food for thoughts. Let's suppose she is right and you cannot separe sex from "love" (or whatever "intermediate" feeling that could bring up), how this could lead you an emotional confusion? Would you forget what your wife means for you because you have feelings for someone else too? Do you have this fear? Does your wife have it? Why?

 

I am not asking you to answer those questions to me, I just believe it'd be interesting for you two to dig depper.

 

My wife and I had another good talk about this last night....I don't want to get into the details here, other than to say that we are communicating extremely well. I understand her concerns and she understands mine.

Discussing these issues together has brought us into an even more intimate place and cemented the bonds of trust between us.

[Spoomonkey 418]

Cloud of Love said:

Discussing these issues together has brought us into an even more intimate place and cemented the bonds of trust between us.

 

You know - that is the greatest benefit of the lifestyle. So whether you play or not you've already discovered the best part of all of this!

[Cloud of Love 16]

Spoomonkey said:

You know - that is the greatest benefit of the lifestyle. So whether you play or not you've already discovered the best part of all of this!

 

Well, there's another benefit....we've been actively talking about the implications of this for a month now....and our sex life has really revved up again.... ....even just talking about it is exciting, even if we never do it.

 

We've decided that jealousy would not be an issue for either of us. We've also decided that guilt would not be an issue for her....she is still concerned that it might be an issue for me, although my recent experiments with lap dances at strip clubs (which she has encouraged) have not resulted in any guilt.

 

One thing that we have decided is this: we really need another couple to talk about sex with...none of our current friends have the same kind of unconditional love relationship that we do, and none of them are comfortable discussing issues of relationships and intimacy. We've decided that we really need to meet other couples who are secure like we are, to be friends with and bounce ideas off of. So right now we are trying to figure out how to meet other couples, not for actual physical swinging purposes but just to be friends with and talk with stuff about.

[prettylady 221]

Because you only live once.

 

Why not try this adventure as well as many others.

 

The idea of swinging never crossed my mind until I met Dog. There are few things I wont try at least once. This however sounds like more fun then some of the adventures I have taken.

 

My exploration has already paid off in some new fantastic friends.

 

Not to mention the sexual liberation I am going through right now.

[sereneiders 263]

Well, there's another benefit....we've been actively talking about the implications of this for a month now....and our sex life has really revved up again.... ....even just talking about it is exciting, even if we never do it.

 

We've decided that jealousy would not be an issue for either of us. We've also decided that guilt would not be an issue for her....she is still concerned that it might be an issue for me, although my recent experiments with lap dances at strip clubs (which she has encouraged) have not resulted in any guilt.

 

One thing that we have decided is this: we really need another couple to talk about sex with...none of our current friends have the same kind of unconditional love relationship that we do, and none of them are comfortable discussing issues of relationships and intimacy. We've decided that we really need to meet other couples who are secure like we are, to be friends with and bounce ideas off of. So right now we are trying to figure out how to meet other couples, not for actual physical swinging purposes but just to be friends with and talk with stuff about.

 

This is a great idea, and it's pretty close to the way we started swinging, or better say, stepping around the swimming pool. I mean, we already decided to give it a try but we had our fears, not about ourselves, but about the kind of people we'd met in the lifestyle. We found out a local IRC channel where to chat with swingers, we've talking there with several couples and ended up meeting one of those couples just "to be friends and talk"... well, at last, we ended up soft swinging with them, but we spent month going out for dinner or drinking cofee and just talking, not only about swinging, but about whatever subject brings up. By then, we meet some other couples just to talk. In fact, it was nice from them, people who were active swingers, some who knew and already swong with the others, to agree to meet in group to dinner and talk, and give us, the newbies, the chance to hang out with them without any pressure. We was gladly surprised by the human quality we found in those couples and in most swingers couples later on, and definately this contributed a lot to jump in the pool.

 

I also have to say we're still good friends from one of those couples, we play togheter from time to time, know their family, and well...you know, as any vanilla good friends.

 

So I believe it is a great idea.

[wifes_sex_slave 16]

For us, we have a great relationship. We, dispite numerous odds, have overcome many obsticles to get together and get married. Now that aside...

 

We have had tremendous sex over the last 9 years we have been together and 5 children.

Over the course of the years our sex life had reached climax several times (no pun intended) and had it's slow ruts as well.

 

Last summer I (hubby) was thinking of ways to spice our sex up. I thought of several possibilities and took months to bring any of them up in conversation to my wife in fear of losing a testicle or two. When I finally had the nerve to discuss this with her, it was mentioned of a 3-some. I was not specific as to a man or woman joining us, just that we bring in a 3rd person. At first my wife was not receptive to the idea at all and we dismissed it..for now.

 

A few weeks later I started talking "fantasies" to her while we were having sex and I guess the bug got in her ear.

 

We had talked again and had decided we would consider it and started to research a way we could attempt to find someone (harder than it sounds). After reading good stories and horror stories about picking people up online and decided that was not for us.

 

Shortly after that, I had heard on the news that the Supreme Court Of Ontario had ruled that swinging clubs were NOT illegal and had thought that this might be the way to go. When I had gone to talk to my wife about it - she told me she was already thinking about couples and agreed this was the way to go.

 

Now, we have joined a club, gone twice, but not yet had our first adventure but just being in the club and solcializing (and light petting) with the couples there was so exciting, we can't wait to join in with a couple to play.

 

Ever since we decided to join the lifestyle (even though we ARE still virgins) our sex life has picked up better than it has ever been since we got together.

[EvilMJ 65]

I think I was a swinger before I even realized I was a swinger

 

I have just always been very open about sex and didn't have a lot of hang ups about it. That's not to say I was out having sex with everyone, just that I was more likely to be willing to try something new and fun.

 

When the opportunity came up for my husband and I to get involved we took some time and talked it over and were both surprised to find out we were pretty much on the same page about it.

 

It's fun, it makes me feel good, it's an ego booster (who doesn't like to feel sexy and desirable), it's something we can do together and live out our fantasies, I can explore my bi sexual side. Its just a good time, if it stops being a good time, then we stop swingning....but until then.........

[GerdOEvert 48]

Variety

Sexual energy

Experiences

[fundove2 15]

My wife and I married very young without any premarital sex. We were 19 and 18. We are still together and our family is grown and at 40 we decided to sow some wild oats and my wife was all for it. She explained she needed to feel sex with some other people and I did too. We were very friendly with one couple that was already involved in swinging with one other couple only. They invited us to swing with them and we went to their house and he was with my wife first and I watched him with his wife feeling me up and getting me hard as I watched and then I had his wife while my wife and him watched us. It was wonderful to feel others intimately and we do it often now my wife is so happy with it and I am too.

[rebelnangel 15]

for us it put more excitement in our sex life.we also can have other fun without having an arguement or feel guilty.....it makes a difference.....besides the fact she is bisexual.....

[SouthBond 18]

Why Swing? Because swinging is what nature intended for us to do. Marriage to one person is the product of religious zealots. It's not the devil or because you are evil. Go look at all the dating programs on the internet and read the profiles. 99% are divorced. And why, because somebody got the itch and got caught. If the other spouse had been smart, they would have found someone or another couple to scratch that itch. Then they would have re-ignited a great fire of mutual lust that they had once known.

[BradAndJanet 69]

SouthBond said:

... Because swinging is what nature intended for us to do. Marriage to one person is the product of religious zealots. ...

Well, I don't know that I'd agree with that 100%. There's something to be said for pair-bonding and a lot of the animal world practices it as well. We're happily married and have no desire to bring anyone into our emotional sphere (not that there's anything wrong with polyamory, mind you, for those who want that.) Although we were married by a pastor because we didn't want to hear it from her family, we're about as far from religious as you can get!

 

We swing for fun, no strings attached sex. It's an exciting activity we enjoy together.

[sigh35 20]

Forgive me, I am always thinking! Why does swinging appeal to us? Is it our complete understanding and comfortability with our mate? And/ Or, for some maybe, are we keeping our friends close and our enemies closer? Do some swing to ward off cheating? Is the intense intimacy caused by mutal satisfaction or mutual trauma? Does swinging allow us to feel less dependence upon our mate, thereby lessening the blow of there loss someday even if only slightly? Who in this lifestyle has experienced a great and devastating loss before finding a mate to swing with? These are just some questions I have..not meant to offend or annoy anyone...please disreguard if overthinking things bothers you

[Chicup 38]

People have a tendency to over think motives and assign interactions where there are none.

 

We are products of evolution and multiple partners is a part of that evolution, so is pair bonding for that matter and just about every other human sexual/reproductive relationship.

 

Now sometimes there can be abnormalities in this behaviour, but in the case of swinging I do not think there is anything abnormal about it from a human behavior standpoint. We have found a healthy outlet to those genetic desires we are all slaves of to some extent.

[socolais 696]

This subject can be approached from many different directions. From a practical perspective, we're here for the excitement. I encountered several swinger's web pages and the common thread that caught my interest was the exit path from the sexual rut we'd fallen into over the many years. It took a lot of thinking and strained discussions before we finally convinced ourselves that having sex with the neighbors would intensify our passion for each other - it worked just like it was advertised. We're excited to be in each other's arms very similar to the way it was when we first got married. We don't need swinging anymore (assuming there was a need before, but that's another thread). I guess we continue to swing because it's fun and it also refreshes the excitement between us.

 

As a side benefit, it also boosted our selfconfidence.