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One should never forget how to play...
Back when I started this blog I mentioned something along the lines of hopefully being able to impart a bit of wisdom from my dingy brain. In an attempt to do that, here's a bit of my dingy wisdom for you to contemplate....
On a 12 hour drive you have a lot of time to think. This past Friday my thoughts were on why Ted and I get along so well. My conclusion was it's because after all these years we still know how to "play".
I'm not talking about playing in the sense that most swingers use the word, that being having sex with someone other than your spouse/SO...I'm talking about just plain fun playing.
As children most of us could make the simplest things fun...bouncing a ball, chasing each other around the yard, playing with Barbie dolls or Matchbox cars...we had a sense of adventure, wonder and imagination that made jumping up and down in a mud puddle the greatest thing in the world. We played and had fun.
Somewhere in the process of growing up, some unwise soul decided that it was proper that adults shouldn't play anymore. Hell, I think there's even a passage somewhere in the Bible that states something along the lines of ...When I became a man, I put away childish things. IMO, that's the biggest piece of bullshit advice you could give anyone if it's meant to mean you have to stop playing.
Yes, as adults we do have responsibilities. I'm not denying that and I do believe that every adult should be a "responsible adult"...not only for themselves, but for their spouse/SO, children and community. That does not however mean that one should get so mired down in those responsibilities that playing should be erased once adulthood is reached.
I especially think that if couples want to have a long, happy union...they need to keep and put playing as a top priority in their relationship. That's why Ted and I get along so well...we refuse to "grow-up" and we damn sure refuse to stop playing.
Playing for us takes on many different forms. Some of our playing is sexual...hell, we're swingers, go figure on that one. But most of our playing is not of a sexual nature. We've been lucky enough to maintain that childlike quality of being silly with each other.
Throughout out lives we've jumped in mud puddles with each other, we've run around in the rain, we've danced in the middle of the kitchen floor, we've had food fights and pillow fights, we've chased each other with water guns, we've played card games and board games with each other and we've cheated trying to win those games, we've played "beauty-shop" with each other painting each others fingernails and toenails, putting make-up on each other and curling each others hair, we've drawn on each other with markers, we've made shadow puppets on the walls, made tents out of sheets, built sand castles on the beach....we've been crazy and silly with each other...we've PLAYED!
So many times I see people that have forgotten how to play and it makes me sad.
A couple of examples....
1. This past weekend when we attended a vanilla Halloween party we were sitting outside talking to the host. Another couple popped their heads out to tell us goodbye. Once they were gone the host made a comment that he wasn't sure how he felt about this particular couple..."Did you hear what she said when ya'll walked in and everyone else said they wished they had dressed up and started getting the kiddie costumes out of the basket and putting them on and they tried to get her to put one one"? No, we replied. "She said, 'I think we're all a bit old to be dressing up'....I didn't like that". I just looked at our host and said she's forgotten how to play and have fun.
2. Sweet tna's blog...Biting My Tongue. She talked about co-workers saying how "wild and completely immature" others were at the parties they had been to. No...they were playing and having fun, something they (the ones complaining about it) had obviously forgotten how to do.
My point in all of this is...even though we all grow up and become adults, that does not mean we have to stop playing and having fun. If you're a couple, play with each other. If you're parents/grandparents play with your children/grandchildren. If you're a friend, play with your friends. Act up, be goofy, be silly...find a mud puddle and jump up and down in it...just PLAY!
Playing is the one thing in life that will keep you young forever.
T.
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