N8ture Girl

In my opinion, Yes!

11 years and 1 day!

Lol, I was thinking the same thing. It's one thing to read it in a texting format, but I dont care for reading a paragraph of it when there is enough characters to allow real words! It really shows the age of the writer/texter. Kinda unattractive and hard to take seriously...

This sounds good in theory, but in reality it doesn't seem to work that way. This isn't about keeping score. When it comes down to it, women tend to have more opportunity to play than men do. So its impossible in most cases for play time to be equal on a separate play type situation. In the posts above, I really don't think the men are sitting at home pouting because they aren't getting any....

Give it time and don't push her. The feelings she has isn't something she is going to get over quickly. I can relate to how she feels. Hubby and I had a not so pleasant experience once early on. He was uncomfortable with something I was doing and it made me question myself during future play dates. While we did work it out rather quickly, the feelings and the wondering if he is really ok with things never has gone away. I know that everything is ok but I still get the feeling sometimes. I know it's only in my head but honestly I can't shake it. Just like Julie said, she doesn't want to hurt you or the relationship. It's the "fear of" that causes us to feel that way.

Who really knows what this guy is doing or if he is married or not. I have my opinion but it doesnt matter. Maybe he just doesnt have a date yet.. The ball is in his court. I'd move on, if you hear from him then great if not there are plenty more out there. And I doubt you will get lucky with the first guy or two you chat with. Lastly, I dont think this is a bad start, you will meet or just chat with a number of guys before you will likely find a good match. You will have to weed through the married ones, the flakes and fakes first. Dont' give up yet! I once spoke with a very nice and charming fella off and on for a few months. He also traveled to my area once a month or so. One day I asked him via chat why he has never been married (cause he was in his late 40's early 50's) and with a little hesitation he said he is married. I pressed a little further and she didn't know about his other life. I said see ya and told him thanks but no thanks!

You dont have to be a hot bodied young stud to make it in the lifestyle! And just because a man is older than his lady doesnt mean he is dead either. In our case we have done very well in the LF and found many mythical 4 way connections. With out more info its hard to say what is a miss here. If age is a factor then where are they looking? Someone in there 30's and 40's going to events where most are in there 20's probably wont fair to well for the older man. I dont agree at all that they will have to "settle" for MFM's. There are 4 way matches out there, in my opinion if you can't find them then your looking in the wrong place, or there is something wrong with your approach or attitude, or the ideal playmate in your mind doesnt exsist in reality. But I am eager to hear from the OP to answer some of these questions were are asking!

From what I have seen, I will have to agree with Mrs Chicup

While there could be a number of reasons why this is happening, one thought comes to my mind. Is there a big age difference between you and your hubby? We have gone through similar, hubby and I are ten years apart and it seems that some couples that are my age are inclined to be really into me, but not my hubby. On the other hand, couples that are around his age are into both of us. This isnt something that happens often for us but has happened. In your case this could be one possibility out of many! Other ideas would be: confusion in your profile, couples that are not really honest with you in what they are looking for. One other question I have is how long have you been looking?

These are my opinions so take them for what their worth. For me, this isnt swinging by any means. But what really matters is that your BOTH comfortable with the rules. #1 Ok I get that. #2 If I understand you mean sex with only each other and no touching the other couple? Please correct me if I'm wrong. This is possible, but will only likely happen at clubs in open play areas. However you may find a couple willing to do this out side a club. #3 Not sure about this one, live web cam with another couple maybe, but unless you can see them too, I would becareful. #4 She can play with your friend, but you cant play with anyone? Seems one sided to me, but its what your both cool with. As far as visiting a strip club, I dont have an answer there! I think you both still need to do more talking. How do you feel about not being able to play with other women? Like I said if both of you are 100% ok with the arrangements then go for it! Just know that most people that swing, are either soft swap or full swap and do it for the sex. We would have no interest in these types of activities. We have done the web cam thing a few times and it was thrilling, but its not what we are in to. Your pool of willing couples might be small. Good luck!

What Chicup means is that there have been many instances where people have posted stories or problems that are not real in order to get various responses from those on this board. Some do this to start heated debates and create drama. I dont know why they do this but the get off by it in some way. We call those kinds of people trolls. And some are labeling you as one of them....

Over reacted? If she is uncomfortable with what happened then she had a right to be freaked out about it! I consider myself as an experienced swinger, but if someone I started chatting with that I dont know really well out of the blue shows up at my job I'd be pissed! Just imagine this gal who is totally new to the idea and this dude drops in, if it were me I'd feel uncomforatable too. Being invited and or knowing someone really well is one thing but this doesnt sound like it was the case here. People need to respect her boundries and have a little common sense! As far as those who said she is over reacting and this is "part of the lifestyle" what are these people thinking? I"ve recognized people on Swing Lifestyle or after swapping pics but I would never just drop in to say hi unless I knew it was ok to do so.

Well the majority of your posts reflect YOUR thoughts. You're the one writing it. How are we supposed to know what your wife's thoughts are when we have not heard her views on this? We have only heard a your version of what she thinks... So if you BOTH are having these problems, all the more reason to stop swinging! You need to communicate with each other, get your relationship on track, and find out why your doing the things you do. We cant tell you how to do it. That's a journey you both have to go with in yourselves. This may take years. But until you reach that point stop swinging because it will only make things worse. Good luck.

To the OP, if this doesn't get you thinking nothing else will! I just feel bad for your wife having to deal with this all the while trying to make you happy. Maybe your the type of person who enjoys negative drama in their life. Remember, swingers dont like drama! We like to ENJOY sex with others! I enjoy seeing my man with a lady and he enjoys seeing me pleasured by another man. We have no tit for tat bull shit, sometimes one of us gets more out of play than the other, so what! We dont keep a score card. I like to make eye contact if possible to share a little wink, but if not, then no big deal. I just dont understand why you keep creating drama unless that's what gets you off.

I, as the female half can honestly say I have never had any pangs of jealousy. I love my hubby, and he loves me and I know at the end of the night that he will be coming home with me! There was one lady that said on more than one occasion that she loved my hubby. Even then there was no jealousy. I thought it was kinda sweet, I wasn't worried because our relationship is that strong! I went into swinging with an open mind, went with the flow and have enjoyed watching him please other women. We dont pay a lot of attention to each other when we are with other play mates because we are focused on pleasing the one we are with. We do share a glance and a smile, a wink and sometimes a quick kiss if we are close enough. I once had a playmate that could not stay focused on me because he kept watching his wife. If a he wanted to watch then that is fine, but if your having sex with me then pay attention to me, you cant really do both. There was a lot of jealousy issues with that couple, we dont need it and dont want it. You two need to take the advice that as already been given. Stop swinging. Get a grip on your relationship and your issues and try to work them out. Even after that I am not sure you would be ready to swing. Good luck!