Is this your first marriage?

[nicecpl89511]

We were both married before and are divorced. We are an attached couple who have been living together for 4 1/2 years. We are truly a happy couple.

We had our first swinging experience 3 months after we began living together. Neither one of us had swung in our previous lives.

My ex-husband was the jealous type and did not like me flirting with others. I love to flirt. I am a flight attendant and he suspected that I was "carrying on" on my trips. I was not. We were married for almost 10 years. After the divorce I did have affairs.

Joe, my S/O, is very open-minded and not the jealous type. He was married for 20 years.

Our first swap was great and we really enjoy the lifestyle.

[sweetdelite]

Mrs. Sweetdelite...yum and I have been married for 23 years with our 24th Anniversary this cumming December.
For Mrs. Sweetdelite...her first marriage.
For Mr. Sweetdelite......2nd marriage........
For Mr. Sweetdelite 1st marriage was 7 years.........

What the heck....have I been married all my life???......as mentioned before...Henny Youngman declared after his 50th Anniversary that it was the best 2 years of his life.....what a joker was that Henny Youngman......!

Please////take my wife !!!....hehehe...sorry honey....

[rosybear]

29years and counting!! my first, his secound...

[HotMoCpl]

Maybe this poll should be a two fold question. Which marriage are you on and how many year in each one? This woould provide much better statistical information. Maybe a better one would be a questionair which would be even better.

Which marriage are you on?
How long in each one?
Did you swing within any of those marriages?
How long have you been swinging?

This might prove to be important statistical information for even the experts who talk the lifestyle down. Maybe Dr. Phill too. Of course he'd probably say that they're bogus numbers.

[pairbond]

Both of us were married once previously and both of us had several different sex partners between marriages before we met each other.

I do think those experiences made swinging much easier for us than for those who have been "one and only" for each other all their adult lives before contemplating swinging. When you have been married previously and had other sex partners between marriages, it is abundantly clear that sexual exclusivity, or being the only one to do a certain act with your spouse (such as anal sex, for example) is not a relevant issue. What IS relevant is your love for and commitment to each other. Obviously the fact that you've had other sex partners and already done everything is not a deterrent to that love and commitment.

I just think it's harder for the "one and only" couples to get beyond the upbringing most of us had about monogamy and sexual exlusivity.

[fun4Ds]

26 yrs more great than bad still learning. facelick

[cur_cpl_n_chey]

ok here we go....This is my first marraige and for MrCur its his 2nd. He was married for about 2 or 3 yrs I think. It was a starter marriage they both agreed they should have never gotten married. Even wanted to back out prior to walking down the aisle
however they were both very active in the lifestyle while married. they played together and apart.

We have been together for 13 yrs now and married for 6 ys. It has not been easy but we are overall happy. I have to say that our marriage has become way stronger and are way happier since we started in the lifestyle.

[MrsVan]

Mr Van and I are both on our Second Marriage and going stronger than our first marriages... We both were young when we got married the first time (although we are still young to me ) and things were different in those marriages. We do not fight, our relationship is great and wow the sex is even better

I had tried to bring up this lifestyle to my first husband and his reaction was that I just wanted to cheat (although he was the cheater and not me)...MrVan was shocked that I even brought the lifestyle up and could not believe that his sweet and innocent wife would be willing but I am and hope to get the opportunity to prove this to him.

We sometimes make the comment to others that we feel everyone should get married and divorced to really learn from a relationship. The things we learned from our first marriages has helped us to see what we need to do in our marriage to make us as happy as we are now. There is no jealousy or any type of issue between the two of us going into this lifestyle as we both know that our hearts and our love belong to each other and hey "it's just sex, so have fun with it". I could not be any happier to go into this with MrVan.

MrsVan

[ff38dd]

We were high school sweethearts. Met in 1969, married in 1972 and been married for 33 years. We have only been in the lifestyle for one year. Until our very first, of many, swaps we were each others first and only sex partners.

[allycat]

I'm glad I found this thread because I had a question and a comment. Awhile back (right after I joined this board actually) I was married and the hubby and I had a playdate with a couple. My Mr. got really intimidated when he saw how intense and aggressive my new playmate and I were having sex. We just got lost in it. He didn't want to see these people anymore, so, I broke a taboo and I and my new playmate went solo and met without our spouses. We did do a playdate with our spouses again ,but, my Mr. just did not like it. This led to that,but,I just could not leave him alone. I am now divorced and so is my playmate, but,we are together . My question is has anyone else ever gotten serious with a playmate and ended up with them? We are both still very much in the lifestyle.

[JaneAndJohnDoe]

This is a second marriage, for both John and I.

Oh, and I should also mention...it is our LAST marriage. LOL

[pacpl4funn]

2nd marriage for both.

His first was, "got the girl pregnant~do the right thing" lasted 22 years till he couldn't take it anymore, dirty house, no love, no attraction, and NO SEX.

My first was, fell inlove to young, (16 yo) thought I knew it all, yatta yatta, while I was busy making a home and raising our children, he was busy screwing anything he could nail (including my baby-sitter) finally after 20 years, enough was enough.

Met 2nd hubby while divorcing the first, said NOPE, NEVER AGAIN, and so did he, so we met in the middle. Lived together for 7 months before giving in. We'll be married 3 years the end of March and have been together 4.

I desired a more traditional marriage (less the cheating) 2nd hubby wanted to explore swinging, had I known he was serious, I'd still be SINGLE! However, all swinging aside, we have a pretty good relationship. And if I were to become single again, I'd be damn sure to make sure any potential mate was on the same page as me.

[just1gurl]

Originally Posted by pacpl4funn

2nd marriage for both.

His first was, "got the girl pregnant~do the right thing" lasted 22 years till he couldn't take it anymore, dirty house, no love, no attraction, and NO SEX.

My first was, fell inlove to young, (16 yo) thought I knew it all, yatta yatta, while I was busy making a home and raising our children, he was busy screwing anything he could nail (including my baby-sitter) finally after 20 years, enough was enough.

pacpl4funn? Would you please forgive me if I have just a little fun with something you said?? Not to belittle your experience, its just that, I've counseled a lot of people in the past and -- this sounded like an instant replay of the things a married couple would say all the time... opposite views of the same marriage!

I was having a conversation with a (divorced) friend of mine tonight and he made the comment that once you've been divorced it is much easier to see what makes a relationship work (whether it be yours or someone else's) and what is bad for a relationship.

Quoting Julie from the first page about it being easier to see what works.....

To make a short story long: My mum could bring home the bacon! She made her first million before she was 32, in real estate, she was gorgeous, big bosoms, so she had it goin on, well, my dad, - couldn't see it was a man's job to help with dishes. Never mind she was working, it was HER job. Never saw the man lift his hand to help her. Of course the marriage went to H#!! (or there wouldn't be a story here)

he remarries this selfish - half way unattractive - helpless little conniver (cinderella/wicked step-monster thing here ya know) that quit working so my dad could support her. If they were happy and didn't fight all the time, I'd be happy, but I digress... Went to visit, dinner over - HE GETS UP AND STARTS DOING THE #$%%^#%$ DISHES!!!!!!! I thought I'd rolf my dinner up.

Now why would you trade a hot, sexy beautiful goddess who could make you filthy stinking rich for that??? AND do the dishes?

Dishes = Good Sex.

[just1gurl]

Now, if your single and can cook and do the dishes, drop me a line!

rats! don't look like my mom, though!

[djjwp]

Originally Posted by just1gurl

Dishes = Good Sex.

In our house it's folding laundry! We have a dishwasher!