Cumming during Oral Sex

I have been having sex for over 30 years, my problem is I can't cum when he goes down on me. I have no problem when he penetrates me. I would so love to cum during oral sex. What could be my problem?

I have been having sex for over 30 years, my problem is I can'tcum when he goes down on me. I have no problem when he penetrates me. I would so love to cum during oral sex. What could be my problem?

You are probably g-spot oriented, and the g-spot is not usually stimulated via oral sex.

Do you masturbate? During mastubation, are you orgasmic without penetration? When you masturbate, do you lay on your stomach?

Maybe that's it, I have never masturbated. How do I start?

luckyme said:

Maybe that's it I have never masturbated. How do I start?

There are various books, articles, websites that will help you on the web, just surf away.

The Other Mrs. Menage

luckyme said:

Maybe that's it I have never masturbated. How do I start?

You have never masturbated? Holy smokes my friend, are you missing out! Okay, you have to experience this! I don't know about ya'll, but I have some really incredible O's from masturbation. Yeah, this is something you have got to try lol.

luckyme said:

I have been having sex for over 30 years, my problem is I can't cum when he goes down on me. I have no problem when he penetrates me. I would so love to cum during oral sex. What could be my problem?

I'll be honest. When Jay and I first started dating I really was not a fan of oral sex...mainly because I was never talked to about sex from my mother, and so I saw it as being "dirty"....thus, could not relax. But, as Jay and I have been together for 16 years now and know each other's bodies like our own (and the man has a tongue I could rent out for $100 an hour!) I have come to LOVE it. As a matter of fact, he has to be careful or I will be spent in no time at all lol. I think you need to relax, and communicate. I would tell him where it felt good, what felt good, etc. Talk with him and let him know what feels good, and where. And plus, the funnest part is practicing!!!

I don't think you have a problem. Do what you enjoy.

While my ex could only cum with a vibrator, my now wife is unbelievably sensitive. She can't leave a vibrator on for 2 seconds without pulling it away and saying, "That's just too much."

And while she can come easily while I'm giving her oral sex, when we're by ourselves, she prefers that I be kissing her and finish the job with my fingers.

However, when we're playing with our other couple, she really loves one of us kissing and licking her pussy, while the other two are up on her nipples and lips. Talk about an orgasm!

I digress....

As John Lennon says, "Whatever gets you through the night... it's all right."

So... nothing's wrong... do what you enjoy.

Have him or her use a finger at the same time as a tongue. I think that 2 jersey is probably right that most of your orgasmic focus is g-spot oriented.

Sometimes your mind will lead you to an orgasm. One friend cums very hard when her hubby eats another man's cream pie out of her pussy. Her cumming is 90% mental, very little of the orgasm has to do with the physical feeling.

Women come in so many different ways so enjoy what works for you. If you want to explore other possiblities, go ahead but don't put pressure on yourself or think you are missing something if you can't come in certain ways.

I think I speak for many women here in that I rarely come from intercourse alone. It either requires some addition stimulation or oral sex. So in one way you are very lucky..

I think I speak for many women here in that I rarely come from intercourse alone. It either requires some addition stimulation or oral sex. So in one way you are very lucky..

Oh yeah, so true. Being a woman is so hard sometimes!! I swear, sometimes I wish I could be more like a man, just see a couple of pics and ready to go. Now, I know that for me as a woman 80% at least is mental...my mood, how tired I am, what week of my cycle I am in...its a wonder we ever have orgasms! lol Seriously though girl, just relax. This is not a competition. I didn't masturbate until I was in my 30s, believe it or not. Take things at your own pace, and your own speed. It will happen for you. As a matter of fact, Jay and I didn't even find my G spot until a few months ago, and we are still mastering that skill! Jay is, I must say, a dedicated student facelick . So, just because one woman is at one stage that does not mean you have to be there too.

You have never masturbated? Holy smokes my friend, are you missing out! Okay, you have to experience this! I don't know about ya'll, but I have some really incredible O's from masturbation. Yeah, this is something you have got to try lol.

Do you have any suggestions as to how to begin? I did buy a g-spot vibrator.

Do you have any suggestions as to how to begin? I did buy a g-spot vibrator.

We watched videos to be honest.....seymour butts is a trip, but the man knows how to find a g spot! there are how to dvd's....and then it takes patience. You have to be very relaxed....for me, it took me being kind of tipsy before I was able to relax enough. Then, take things slow and communicate. The "spot" gives you the feeling that you have to pee (this is why they suggest peeing first before you start)..then the key is relaxation. Telling him what feels good, and how. Have fun!

I was drinking beer and surfing the 'net one evening and somebody on a forum wrote about how wonderful the book "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner was. So, I bought it on Amazon.ca. I also bought "The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure by Violet Blue. You shouldn't drink and shop on the 'net! My sweetie thought I was nuts, but appreciates that I spend alot more time going down on her.

Anyway, they're both great books and explain why women don't necessarily know how to masterbate and why they might not like oral sex at first. You could have a mental block because you feel unclean, for example .

I can't help feeling that your lover might not be doing it right. As Hoistsail mentionned, he should use his fingers on your G-spot.

Buy yourselves a nice book on the subject and study up!

Shellym said:

Oh yeah, so true. Being a woman is so hard sometimes!! I swear, sometimes I wish I could be more like a man, just see a couple of pics and ready to go.

If you read Ian Kerner's book, you wouldn't say that. There's 18 parts of the clitoris. The head of the clitoris has some 8000 nerve endings, twice what's in the penis. When it comes to pleasure from sex, women get 90% of it! I want to be a woman!

When it comes to pleasure from sex, women get 90% of it! I want to be a woman!

You wouldn't be saying that if you had Aunt Flo come to pay a visit!

I will definitely check out these books, however I do enjoy oral sex, I don't fee dirty.

So I don't know what it could be. I have an occasional glass of wine, so I know I'm relaxed. I'm wondering if I need more excitement maybe. Anyway I've got a vibrator and will use it tonight. Thank you for all your advice.

luckyme said:

I will definitely check out these books, however I do enjoy oral sex, I don't fee dirty.

 

So I don't know what it could be. I have an occasional glass of wine, so I know I'm relaxed. I'm wondering if I need more excitement maybe. Anyway I've got a vibrator and will use it tonight. Thank you for all your advice.

If I were you I would start by masturbating. Seriously. The hard thing about oral is this: how can you tell your hubby what feels good if you don't know what feels good? I mean seriously! He is depending on your feedback on what feels good, and his own experience. He can't read your mind, so he has to go by your body cues and your telling him what feels good and where in order to know what you like and want. So, in my opinion I think you need to go somewhere quiet by yourself and fool around. Different people need different things to "inspire" them lol. Once you know what feels good, how and where, then you can tell your hubby what feels good. And have FUN! This is not a race or a competition. There is nothing wrong with you, take it at your own pace. Most of all, have FUN!!

luckyme said:

I have been having sex for over 30 years, my problem is I can't cum when he goes down on me. I have no problem when he penetrates me. I would so love to cum during oral sex. What could be my problem?

Interesting that you have never masturbated.

I know for me "a male" I have only cum once from receiving oral, my GF said the reason I can not cum from oral is because I masturbate to much, which has desensitized me.

Not sure why you can not cum from oral since you have never masturbated. You should give it a try. Good luck!

Fem D loves to suck "Mr. Big"...but sometimes acts surprised that I would want her to sit on my face while while does this wondrous thing to me.

I seldom cum from oral but I have with her (and also a partner). It's just such a different act when you look at it as going to completion instead of an appetizer. When I know that I could/would/should/WILL cum in Fem D's mouth, I look forward to it, and start focusing on that time arriving. She loves cumming on my mouth too.

Honestly, I think I would look at Fem D as being different from everyone else if I couldn't make her come from oral. Fortunately, she is multi-orgasmic and doesn't fear that her night will be over from the one orgasm.

I say just keep practicing. Communicate with each other. Even after 27 years of marriage I still make a suggestion now and then.

How does one become multiorgasmic? How I wish. I'm wondering if I need another person to help me, I have been having BI thoughts of another women helping me come. I don't know. My husband and I do have to work on our communication.

How does one become multiorgasmic? How I wish. I'm wondering if I need another person to help me, I have been having BI thoughts of another women helping me come. I don't know. My husband and I do have to work on our communication.

Well, from what I have heard lately, getting a hood piercing helps lol. If you are having bi fantasies talk with your husband about them. You know the comfort level within your own marriage. I don't think you have anything to be ashamed about, but like I said, you know your own husband.