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Showing results for tags 'no strings attached'.
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My girlfriend and I were curious about swinging for some time, and even went to one on-premises club while on vacation, had a lot of fun there. Now we were thinking of possibly doing it some more, but here's our (mostly mine actually) hangup: Most faq's about swinging keep at length about how you meet other couples, how you get friendly with them, share common interests, etc etc. I have no desire of such things. I feel that swinging with someone we know and friendly with can provoke jealousy, and we have enough friends. I just want to go to a club, find an attractive couple who likes us, have some great sex, and I'm not even interested to know what their names are. I realize that may sound offensive and objectifying to some, but that's part of the turn on. Plus I would be happy if another couple would feel the same way about us (just a couple of hot bodies). Is it realistic to find play partners with a mindset like this, or are most people going to be offended by it?
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So we see this a lot, the "we aren't bed post notchers" or "we don't want bed hoppers". But what is it that TO YOU defines these terms. I feel like these are terms that are different for everyone. While to me personally, they mean people who jump from partner to partner with no desire to do repeat business or to necessarily even see those partners again. However, when I read those words in a profile, I don't reply to the profile because I'm afraid that those who actually include those phrases in their profiles are strictly looking for "friends first" or perhaps just aren't really ready to swing at all (kind of along the lines of those who put "no drama" in their profiles tend to be the ones bringing it).
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Ok, so I have finished reading a great post by Uomo....but one question keeps coming up....am I alone in this thought. This is the one part that I keep heating over and over friends first. So I'm gonna quote from his post about it and what I feel under that. Just curious if any feel the same as I do. my reply.... I wonder how many swingers take this view or if maybe I just don't belong here. I share most of the ideas from the original post except for this part. I always hear separate sex from love with swinging...and that's how I feel. Now do not get me wrong just because I want to play with you does not mean we cannot have idle chit chat....but to me a friend is someone who is always there...I love my friends. It is possible that maybe I don't use the term friend as lightly as most...if you are my friend I will go to hell and back for you. I don't have sex with friends because there is only one person who gets the complete friendship/love/sex package and that is my husband. So basically if I have sex with you it is just that, sex...doesn't mean I don't like you...and I will never lead anyone to believe that it is anything other than that. For me honesty is always the best policy even if it is sometimes a little harsh. To me being good friends and having sex is a nono. Maybe my term for "friends with benefits" should be "acquaintance with benefits". So am I really alone in this line of thinking? -
I've been thinking about is sex. Squeezing into the 23 hours per day that I have rather graphic, NC-17 type thoughts, has been this one: "Is swinging just 'meaningless' sex?" Don't get me wrong - I don't feel like there is any deep connection that happens with playmates, and most of the time, you play with someone never to see them again. That is fine. Most want friends, but most (I would assume) don't want the sex to be any deeper than just a fun time. But, still, the idea that what we do - swinging, or whatever you want to call it - is just meaningless friction with a random body... To me - that would be disinteresting. There is always a little something more involved. There is an element of flattery when someone attractive is attracted to you. There is an element of acceptance that someone would be open to something so intimate - or animalistic - with you. There is something self-affirming about it all. I don't think it ever gets - or should get - any deeper than that. But if it were truly "meaningless" what would be the point? The idea of "meaningless sex" just doesn't work for me - but maybe I have simply not completely digested what it is about it that bothers me. Recently, we played with a couple whom we will never play with again for various reasons - but even then - the experience wasn't a meaningless one... I don't know... I'm rambling, but trying to put in words what it is that I am thinking... Anyone feel where I'm coming from? What are your thoughts?
