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kcjones

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About kcjones

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  • Relationship Status
    couple
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    Boston

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  1. My wife likes the "Newness" factor, but I just prefer "Different". The best experiences I've had in the lifestyle have never come from first encounters. So for us, the happy medium is having an ever-changing group of couples. Couples come in and out all the time for various reasons. I think for me its about building a certain level of trust with a partner (And possibly her spouse).
  2. I know this is late but... Haven't been post covid. You can pay at the door (Bring Cash), no sponsor needed. You'll pay a yearly membership fee and then the door fee. If you ask these same questions on a site like SLS, there's a high probability you will make casual connections with a few regulars. Given the cliquey nature of New Englanders, its a huge advantage as a first time visitor.
  3. When the play stops, you can still remain friendly, but you move on. My wife and I both work and have young kids. The little spare time we had was divided amongst family, old vanilla friends, and current/new play partners. The one couple we truly clicked with, remain play partners, as our close relationship afforded us the communication to become better sexual partners to each other. Speaking with others who leave the lifestyle, its jarring how many former play partners no longer have time to hang out when sex is off the table. For this I say the friendship aspect of the lifestyle a fallacy. It clearly happens, but nowhere on the level people promote it.
  4. Join a swingers club. Have your wife go on a night that allows single men. She should have no problem finding willing participants in an already discreet environment. If she is bi/bi-curious, the number of couples there willing to entertain her will up her chances exponentially.
  5. Sinz is an off-premise club north of Boston in the town of Salisbury. Choice Social Club is an on-premise club in Providence RI, about a 1hr drive south. Rhode Island has a much bigger lifestyle scene than the Boston area.
  6. The idea that wife is being dominated, that it makes her a closeted freak amongst our circle of friends, and the general taboo of anal sex turned my wife on it. Her desire for it didn't come to be until after 10 years of marriage. Our personal story starts with us having a few unsuccessful tries, then I informed my wife of a conversation amongst my best friends, (Who are all married) about anal sex, and I told them it was overrated. My wife took that as a challenge and made sure we had a successful attempt. She ultimately enjoyed it. That said, the potential for pain and discomfort is high. Therefore she has to be a create a desire greater than the fear of discomfort. I personally believe a female friend will have an easier time convincing a woman than a man.
  7. The 2018 SESTA/FOSTA law made safely finding an escort significantly more difficult. Most of the websites and forums where you could previously interact with escorts or get access to their personal webpages are now gone. We have not used the services of one, but my wife and I discussed it, given the scarcity of unicorns and our specific wants out of FFM threesome. While prostitution and human trafficking are different things, the two are heavily intertwined legally, and commonly conflated by law enforcement (ie Robert Kraft's massage parlor incident). For those reason, my advice would be to stick to states and countries where it is legal.
  8. Just because you are in the 99th percentile, doesn't mean there aren't many others just like you. While my wife can climax from clitoral stimulation, she prefers penetration, and has easier and bigger orasms from it. I'm in my mid 40s and usuallly have a refractory period, but it really depends on my excitement level. My inability to continue sex after cumming has less to do with going soft, but the temporary "Pins and needles" feeling I get in the head of my dick. If the sex is really hot, I'll push through. Cumming 3 times straight, Nah. That ain't me...at least not anymore. When we were in the lifestyle, we always discussed our sexual habits so there were no surprises by either party.
  9. There's a ton of virtue signaling in the lifestyle. I guarantee many of the couples at NIN have previously posted online how they test every 3 months, thoroughly vet new play partners, only play with condoms, and would block any couple who even mentions going bareback. The lifestyle is ruled by swingers hormones, which explains why what you read online in swingers forums doesn't always jive with what you see in the clubs and at parties.
  10. From what I heard, Desire was packed. Only a fool would believe no one walked away unscathed. I completely understand 2 couples, who know each other well getting together, but a damn convention/resort, with hundreds of people? There's nothing calculated about that, its just dumb.
  11. The current reports is 300 and 41 (As of today) have contracted the virus. Expect the podcasters to discuss this for the next few months. https://www.wlox.com/2020/12/01/people-test-positive-coronavirus-after-new-orleans-swingers-convention/
  12. We are reaching a generational divide in the lifestyle, so dress according to the age of the women you want to attract. If you want to sleep with 20 somethings, don't wear an untucked Robert Graham shirt with boot-cut jeans, or If you like your women milfy, don't rock a Supreme T-shirt with skinny jeans. Ultimately, men should get in as good a shape as they can. When you are a physically fit guy, women are more likely to look thru your clothes rather than at them. lastly, I've never met a women who didn't look at my shoes upon first meeting them.
  13. The lifestyle is a closed community, so the stigma of STDs holds far more weight than in the vanilla world. I believe most couples hide their status and schedule dates around flare ups. Add in the open secret that plenty in the lifestyle go bareback on occasion, and it becomes obvious HPV and HSV are prevalent in the lifestyle. There is no contact tracing in the lifestyle. Couples just silently drop out or give other reasons that provide the possibility to return.
  14. Everyone is having a fun until someone stops having fun. Many things we assume are intuitive simply aren't in a "crisis" situation. Its so common to read about a encounter where one partner rides out an uncomfortable situation instead of stopping play. Its a predicament almost all lifestyle couples encounter early on, but don't have to. It even occurred in the OP's story. Those two questions put the issue on the table and provides opportunity to plan for it. BTW, my wife and I use safe words as well.
  15. 1. How do we maintain communication in the heat of the moment? 2. How does one best communicate they have now become uncomfortable in the situation? 3. What to do when one group finishes before the other? (Mostly problematic in foursomes) In the beginning couples are trying to establish boundaries and trust. So making sure both spouses are having fun during the act is paramount. Its a new situation, so you are never going to know every question to ask before you experience it.
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