Dom bulls!

[enhancer 1,542]

Do single guys really think that writing on their profile that they are a dominant bull is going to get them lots of responses?  It almost seems like maybe they watch to much porn thinking every woman out there that likes sex is looking for guys to dominate them and all the wives in couples must have some limp dick loser for a husband that has no idea how to please them.   
 

For us at least as soon as a guy writes anything about being a dom he is quickly taken off the list as a possible extra.  It is a huge turn off for her.  She knows how to please a man and does need to be told or pushed to do anything.  There is nothing special or sexy about a man that can dominate a woman. It is actually pretty lame.  She prefers givers over takers. 
 

We have on all of our profiles no interest at all in dom men, but yet they always message anyways thinking they will be the exception.  When we tell them not interested at all in dom men they usually say something like I don’t have to play that way.  Well that’s nice, but she is not into men that want to play that way. She can and does do better.

[NerdsAreFun 224]

There is a 'market' for that.  One of the local clubs even has a night called "The Bullpen" for it.  We're also not interested in the "alpha male Dom bull" that writes up a profile like that's an entire personality.  Bunch of red flags for us even if we would like to have a dom/sub component to a particular bit of fun on occasion.  But I get that some people are into it.

[enhancer 1,542]

Sure some people are into it, but for the ridiculous amount of dudes that advertise themselves this way I am thinking most of them are going to be shit out of luck.  The ladies are the ones with the power in the swinging world.  If more guys got that and catered to them then more guys would get some.

[bbarnsworth 2,536]

There are plenty of single guys in the lifestyle who just rule themselves out by saying stupid things in their profiles.

 

We frequently say here that the supply of single males in the lifestyle far outstrips demand. The reality; the number of good single men in the lifestyle isn't anywhere near as disparate to the demand for such men. My wife and I can easily run through profiles of single men and go "Nope...<next>...Nope...<next>...Nope...<next>...Nope....<next>..." and on and on. There's maybe 2 or 3 in 20 that are worth reaching out to (if that). When we get messages, similar numbers immediately get excluded because they didn't read our profile or are demonstrating how much of an idiot they are. So many of their unsolicited messages boil down to "Hey, you seem cool. Wanna fuck?" Gets old. Gets really old.

 

We have found a few gems over the years; guys that got to the point of having sex with my wife and with whom my wife had a really good time. When we do find them, we keep them around if possible. Two of them became long term lovers for my wife, spanning years. Very, very worth it rather than having to deal with so much BS from wannabes.

[Aphroditee 323]

8 hours ago, enhancer said:

Do single guys really think that writing on their profile that they are a dominant bull is going to get them lots of responses?  It almost seems like maybe they watch to much porn thinking every woman out there that likes sex is looking for guys to dominate them and all the wives in couples must have some limp dick loser for a husband that has no idea how to please them.   
 

For us at least as soon as a guy writes anything about being a dom he is quickly taken off the list as a possible extra.  It is a huge turn off for her.  She knows how to please a man and does need to be told or pushed to do anything.  There is nothing special or sexy about a man that can dominate a woman. It is actually pretty lame.  She prefers givers over takers. 
 

We have on all of our profiles no interest at all in dom men, but yet they always message anyways thinking they will be the exception.  When we tell them not interested at all in dom men they usually say something like I don’t have to play that way.  Well that’s nice, but she is not into men that want to play that way. She can and does do better.

DITTO!  I hate Doms, I am not into being dominated or controlled.  I also get a ridiculous number of guys contacting me and telling me that I need to be controlled and I shut them down.  It is such a turn off.  

[NerdsAreFun 224]

14 hours ago, enhancer said:

Sure some people are into it, but for the ridiculous amount of dudes that advertise themselves this way I am thinking most of them are going to be shit out of luck.  The ladies are the ones with the power in the swinging world.  If more guys got that and catered to them then more guys would get some.

Right and what's far more in demand is just some sexy confidence.  Not someone who has to say they are some alpha dom bull, which actually screams of insecurity.

 

 

13 hours ago, bbarnsworth said:

There are plenty of single guys in the lifestyle who just rule themselves out by saying stupid things in their profiles.

Indeed.  Basic spelling and grammar issues are one of our blacklist items.  Especially since most browsers are trying to help prevent that these days.  In a text, forgivable.  In a profile that you've had up for days/months/years?  No so much.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,086]

Well, my wife likes take-charge alpha male types actually and they are her preferred demographic when seeking MFM. But she likes them to be mature, intelligent and confident with zero air of cockiness

Edited April 19, 2022 by hunterdonNJcpl

[EastInWest 1,508]

23 hours ago, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Well, my wife likes take-charge alpha male types actually and they are her preferred demographic when seeking MFM. But she likes them to be mature, intelligent and confident with zero air of cockiness

We've had enough BDSM fights on this board, but I feel like this is a difficult topic to navigate because, at least in some demographics, so many women are not interested in men who do not deliver that type of experience.

 

And so many women who are not, have had the experience of some dipshit who calls himself a "dom" and has no idea what he's doing, but is just saying it because he thinks it what everyone wants.

 

This is a tough thing to advertise in a way that says "I like doing that if you want it, but don't need to do that, and am mature enough to focus on understanding your needs".

[AndrewandAnn 359]

Rule #1: If he has to advertise himself as a Dom, you can be certain he isn't.

 

Lol

 

 

[TnA83 273]

On 4/19/2022 at 7:22 AM, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Well, my wife likes take-charge alpha male types actually and they are her preferred demographic when seeking MFM. But she likes them to be mature, intelligent and confident with zero air of cockiness

So in other words, not a dominant bull.

[reveur 39]

Single man Profile isn't always true how they describe them self, in the first call or meeting you feel it.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,086]

On 4/20/2022 at 2:19 PM, TnA83 said:

So in other words, not a dominant bull.

Actually... yes dominant Bulls. Just not assholes.

[shy_couple 448]

That’s something we aren’t into either. Most of they guys who introduce themselves as being bull/dome come off as arrogant/machismo. 
 

Much rather have a guy (or couple or single lady) that there’s is some type of connection with and above all trust. In the guys introduced or describing themselves a bull, we don’t get a trust or respect vibe. 
 

Larry Flint always said that he sold plain vanilla sex. Personally, that’s where our interests lie, we just like to add an extra partner now and then. 

[TricianMike 732]

If someone brags about being a bull it turns me off. I don’t want to hear that you want to dominate, to me it’s a bad sign. A man can be assertive during sex as long he shows respect. I don’t want me or my husband humiliated. 

[enhancer 1,542]

18 hours ago, TricianMike said:

If someone brags about being a bull it turns me off. I don’t want to hear that you want to dominate, to me it’s a bad sign. A man can be assertive during sex as long he shows respect. I don’t want me or my husband humiliated. 

Bingo!  Any real man can be assertive without showing their supposed dominance.  
 

Missus Enhancer loves getting fucked hard once she is warmed up!  She does not get warmed up however by being slapped, choked, tied up, spit on, called a slut, being throat fucked or forced.  A real man will concentrate on her needs and wants to get their own and a man like that is going to be rewarded with the time of their life in return. 
 

Selling yourself as a dom bull to a couple is like saying your man is useless and weak.  Maybe some are, but I doubt that it is the norm for most swinging couples.  As she always says to these clowns I already have a stag why would I settle for a bull.

[SJBluebirds 176]

Ugh.

 

We had to block single men from seeing our profile on SLS -- precisely because we were getting just too many clueless message from them.

 

We explicitly write in our profile: 

Quote

She's not looking to be dominated; he's not looking to be cuckolded. We're simply looking for fun friends we get along with in- and out-of the bedroom.

And are resigned to the fact that single guys simply don't read.

[TricianMike 732]

3 hours ago, enhancer said:

Bingo!  Any real man can be assertive without showing their supposed dominance.  

We enjoy meeting men who aren’t looking, men at business meetings or sporting events, men willing to join me for some fun. Some of the men we meet think it’s an invitation to be an idiot, it’s not. There is a fine line between being aggressive and being dominate. 
 

 

3 hours ago, enhancer said:

Missus Enhancer loves getting fucked hard once she is warmed up!  She does not get warmed up however by being slapped, choked, tied up, spit on, called a slut, being throat fucked or forced.

Every woman has limits and ways to get warmed up. Spit on, choked and tied up are no-no’s. What you call throat fucked or face fucked is a turn on for us as long as it’s not overdone. We have met men that oral sex is all I do and Michael and I will do more after.  We know the boundaries that we will allow and will stop anyone going too far. 

[njbm 2,728]

We block single males. We prefer a couple swap. 

[MrMrsswinger 184]

On 4/20/2022 at 7:47 AM, AndrewandAnn said:

Rule #1: If he has to advertise himself as a Dom, you can be certain he isn't.

Exactly. We've come across guys who puff up their chest and claim to be something special. Then when the time comes they are basically impotent. Most of these keyboard/chat "doms" are not what they claim in reality.

 

 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,086]

Single males always get such a bad rap! Sure, there are guys out there who are all talk. We've been ghosted by guys we thought we thoroughly vetted. But my wife likes mfm, and she likes alpha males, so when we're in the market for another guy we do favor those whose profiles are more alpha and dominant.

A couple weeks back we were away for the weekend, she was in the mood for a Dom, we placed a r'endezvous' in our swinger's site, a Dom replied, we had no time to vet him but he was perfect! It was a great experience! Sometimes they are what they say they are, sometimes they're not.

[patsfan5864 42]

Wish we could like this a million times. Anyone who uses the words “dominant”, “bull”, “alpha”, or “cuckold” is automatically dismissed and blocked, if possible. It just absolutely screams inferiority and insecurity.

 

On what planet do these guys think that’s a big selling point??

[NWAtlSwing 487]

3 hours ago, patsfan5864 said:

Wish we could like this a million times. Anyone who uses the words “dominant”, “bull”, “alpha”, or “cuckold” is automatically dismissed and blocked, if possible. It just absolutely screams inferiority and insecurity.

 

On what planet do these guys think that’s a big selling point??

Agreed!

[enhancer 1,542]

Had another I am Dom guy that likes cuck situations message last night saying I think we might be a match check out my profile and get back at me!  Clearly didn’t bother reading our profile that is clear that dom guys and cuck situations are of no interest.  Too bad for him because based on his pictures he might of had a chance to catch her eye.  This was followed up by a cock pic guy that sent another cock pic, because I guess the ones on his profile were not enough.  Another thing we make fun of on our profiles.
 

Guys wonder why they are not accepted in the lifestyle!  It really is on them and they do it to themselves with their own stupidity.  We are more then willing to give some of them a chance if they could just figure it out.

[njbm 2,728]

We prefer to play with couples. We both like to be entertained and to be entertaining. You can play as a threesome with another couple, too. 

[enhancer 1,542]

3 hours ago, njbm said:

We prefer to play with couples. We both like to be entertained and to be entertaining. You can play as a threesome with another couple, too. 

That is fair!  We actually prefer the dynamics of threesomes, but couples can be fun if we have the rare 4 way attraction that we find really hard to find ourselves.  More often then not we both find the other woman attractive, but she does not find the other guy attractive.    It takes all 4 people involved to be on board before we go that route.  

[njbm 2,728]

28 minutes ago, enhancer said:

That is fair!  We actually prefer the dynamics of threesomes, but couples can be fun if we have the rare 4 way attraction that we find really hard to find ourselves.  More often then not we both find the other woman attractive, but she does not find the other guy attractive.    It takes all 4 people involved to be on board before we go that route.  

The four way match is elusive. One couple told us the four way match has 24-1 odds of success. Not sure how they calculated that, but sounds about right. We haven’t tried a threesome often. Usually a spinoff with another couple or, awhile back, my wife at a multiple man party. 

[enhancer 1,542]

20 minutes ago, njbm said:

The four way match is elusive. One couple told us the four way match has 24-1 odds of success. Not sure how they calculated that, but sounds about right. We haven’t tried a threesome often. Usually a spinoff with another couple or, awhile back, my wife at a multiple man party. 

Yes 24-1 odds success for a four way match with another couple sounds about right if not a little more!  We are never offended when another couple doesn’t find us to be a good match, because we know how hard it is for everyone to have the same taste when it comes to attraction and attraction is a big part of it for us.  We see no point at all in having sex with people that we do not feel a physical attraction to.  Some people do and that is their choice.

[njbm 2,728]

It’s “hard” for a man to perform unless he is physically attracted, even with Vitamin V. There have been women we know in the lifestyle who I like personally, but could not do the deed due to lack of attraction. It is either there or not there. Difficult to explain. 

[enhancer 1,542]

It seems the self proclaimed doms are taking over our local sites!  Pretty much get daily messages from the goofs these days even though it could not be clearer she has zero interest in them.  
 

For some reason I get way to much pleasure telling them no we are not interested in dom men, the pussy has the power in this lifestyle and the women have all the control.  Dom men are so old school and so boring.  Can almost sense them fuming in their cave finding out women don’t need to tolerate men that think they should obey the all mighty man, lol.