Photos and red flags.

[Twilighttap 145]

We’re lifetime members on SLS, find its a good place to find parties, clubs, social events.  Meeting people? Hit or miss. A red flag for us is single guys immediately asking to see our private photo albums which says pushy photo collector (plus they ignore our lack of interest in singles guys). With that occurring all the time, it creates another red flag for us which is ‘couples’ either saying they want to see our albums or without any real conversation, opening one of their albums and then demanding we open ours tit for tat (and thats without knowing the content of ours).  Anybody else see this as an issue?  

[cplnuswing 4,711]

We've experienced both of those things.  The single males it's clear what they are up to.  When it happens like you describe with a couple, then we usually consider that 1) single male posing as a couple, 2) actually a couple, but the husband is acting like a single male and just wanting to perv some pictures.  Just seeing some pictures isn't enough bait to get us to show ours if we don't have any interest.  Even on contacts we initially think we might have interest in, we usually let it go back and forth a little bit to confirm that there is some true interest there before opening our pics.

[adamgunn 1,456]

I agree. If the "Member Since" date is more than six months and there are no pictures, I sort of immediately feel they are fake, don't bother with them.

 

If we're contacted by a newer couple, we'll ask them to share 'G-rated pictures, if you wish to blur your face we're okay with that.' If they don't want to (or have 'technical' issues,) the chances of us meeting them are slim.

[shy_couple 448]

Yeah....We are really are maybe overly sensitive to these things. No pics, unpaid members, couples profiles with too many “I” statements. People asking for pics without sharing first is a huge turn off and puts fake/flake radar on high alert. 
 

so many fish in the sea, it’s not worth spend much time on these types. Just block their profile and move on.

[magnum 70]

I am a single guy that has been fortunate to been playing in the LS for 12 plus year's. I have found that it is a waste of my time to convince a couple to play with me, rather, I let the couple(s) contact me, if they are interested. With that said, I have a play date lined up for this Saturday, everyone has had negative Covid test results.

[ROCKlandCpl 436]

When we played with the idea of swinging we were very hesitant. What kind of couples meet others online for sex? We did a search and took a free account on Swinglifestyles. It was more me on the site, not much we other than some bedtime computer sharing. Free members don’t have much access and without us posting a picture we only got phony connections. We decided to join for three months paying like $30. I handled the account and got plenty of requests for pictures because we were scared to put or picture on a site like that. Funny we were nervous someone would recognize us and then we realized only people looking for the same thing would be on the site. First we posted a very plain picture obscuring our faces. It brought us more contacts, plenty of single men, some women and many couples. With the paid membership we had access to public pictures giving us idea of reality. We got too many requests for nude pictures which is that red flag others mentioned. It didn’t take long for us to realize we wouldn’t answer people who only had a picture like our own. I needed to be attracted to anyone I would even answer. I know what my husband is attracted to. For us to go through with meeting anyone we needed a physical attraction. At that point we weren’t sure if we would meet anyone. 

After a month we posted clearer pictures, some sexier pictures and always pictures of both of us together. Individual pictures was a red flag for us. 

Other red flags were the questions asked of us. Mostly questions of what I would do. Anal questions got you no answer. Oral and swallowing questions shouldn’t be asked. It was always funny that very few questions were asked about my husband, other than size. 

I kept tweaking our profile. 

We would read messages together and determine if we should answer. We would chose who to allow to see our locked pictures. We understood that once a picture is out there it would always be somewhere even after deleting. 

We took our time, there was no rush during a pandemic to meet anyone. When we started to narrow possibilities we still didn’t rush. As much as you can do on a site, we moved cautiously and eventually met a couple who we didn’t click with. Luckily we had other options and a couple we finally met and clicked with were maybe the best we could have hoped to meet. 

We have since let our membership expire and deleted as much as we could.  We have been able to keep emailing others we met on the site. 

[njbm 2,728]

We found that there are few actual swingers on SLS in our age group (60) in our area. We have met many of them, had some fun encounters and made some friends.

 

 But after several years, we realize most of the profiles are from couples who have no intent to play. Or they have interests that do not align with ours. My “favorite” is when the other husband wants to play with my wife, but his wife doesn’t want to play with our husband (me). No thanks! 
 

Pre-pandemic, we had more success on lifestyle cruises. 90% of the cruisers are there to play. We went to both Desires and Hedo, mostly awkward misfires, but one good experience. Not the easiest hobby, but when it connects, it’s fun.