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micknchris

Saw a co-worker's profile on SLS

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Our profile on SLS has no pictures as we are not currently playing. The site allows you to see who views your profile and what a shock, one of the profiles was obviously a co-worker (it had a face picture of her). I am NOT the employer. Since we have no pictures I doubt she or her husband recognized whose profile they were looking at.

 

The work relationship is that I am a doctor and she is a receptionist. She is 35 years younger and I would have zero interest in her even if we were active at this time. She and her husband are relative newbies so they might have questions about the lifestyle. I am just wondering what some of you think of the following options: 

 

By the way, I did not open their pics, I know what people post and that would be uncomfortable.

 

1. anonymously contacting them just to offer on line chat as far as advice (nothing to suggest a physical interaction with them)

 

2. Same as above,  but let them know that we know them without outing our identity.

 

3. Say "Hi, fancy finding you on here!" And of course let them know their secret is safe with us as we expect ours is with them..

 

4. Keep my mouth shut and take this to my grave.

 

As I write this, # 2 seems kind of creepy and #3 could make work awkward.  Maybe I know the answer and just want someone to tell me to stuff it and let a sleeping dog stay there.

 

Mick

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4! Everyone deserves privacy. Including you. Just keep quiet. 

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Just an observation, as more people get into various aspects of the lifestyle this will happen more and more.  Whatever you do, be considerate and understanding from the perspective of "we're in this too, everything is ok."

 

As our numbers grow, some day it will hopefully be just another innocuous a hobby.

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Just an observation and thought. But aren’t you precisely what we fear most in this, the judgmental public. What makes you think this lady and her husband would be embarrassed or ashamed of their activity? Maybe they are, maybe not. That, however, isn’t the question at hand. You’re skating on thin ice to even discuss sexual matters with a coworker. It’s even worse if you are in a supervisory position.

 

Don’t overthink this. In the OP, you said this couple merely glanced at your profile. You’re not interested in them, and they didn’t express any interest in you. This is a case of two ships passing in the night. She doesn’t know it was your profile, so you have nothing to explain.

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It's nearly unanimous!!!

 

Thank you all for responding and I have to admit, once I wrote the options down, the answer did seem obvious. It is always nice to get others to look at an issue  from a different perspective.

 

To Tahoecple, I don't think I'm being judgemental. I'm not judging their choices. With very few exceptions, we all keep this part of our lives private because we assume others will be judging us, but I agree the subject matter needs to stay out of the workplace especially considering our places in the hierarchy of the office. And yes, I did overthink this. LOL

 

Mick

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If she works for you in 21st century America and you mention what you saw, she might be embarrassed, she might think it's creepy, she might think she's being hit on or she may think about it and decide to play you a little to get a BIG paycheck. I vote #4 as well.

 

OTH, she may be flattered. I wouldn't take the risk!

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Another vote for 4.

 

I can see being tempted by option 1 since I'm sure you appreciated any help or mentoring you got when you were just getting started, and so would be trying to pass that on to those who are now walking in your shoes.  I think it would be hard to do that thought without some sense of familiarity slipping in even if you tried to avoid it, and if (probably better stated as "when") they picked up on that, then that is likely to freak them out, either from being outed, or as some sort of stalker thing (i.e. delivery guy that constantly hits on her even after she's made clear it's unwanted, etc.).

 

Options 3 I wouldn't ever do online.  Now, if you spotted them at a club or something, then instead of ducking your head and sinking through the shadows toward the back door, then at that point it's probably best to just go ahead and get that cat out of the bag since odds are that won't be the last time and it's going to have to be done sooner or later regardless.

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Again, I thank everyone for their input and I either over thought this or didn't think it through enough at the beginning. Either way, I am in agreement with all of you who vote for silence and nothing will be said. The subject is closed. They'll never know that I know.

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I agree they sound like awkward situations at best.  I ran into my female boss at a gay club one night, she was married to a man and a in the closet Lesbian.  She was watching me dance with a woman and make out with her in the corner, and it made work more than a little weird.  

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