My Advice To Single Men

[Fitlakecouple 450]

Some education? Check my profile. I've designed and built multimillion dollar houses and apartment complexes and invested in cash producing multimillion dollar real estate properties for the last 14 years. I have a degree in architect and a real broker license. I built a lot of club houses as a kid. Building homes always came natural to me.

 

Source: Pareto Principle

 

The principle has been used in sports, business, warfare, agriculture, economics, supply and demand tracking, politics, courtship statistics in humans and animals, etc, the list goes on and on. I've applied this principle in architect and real estate investing, and my dating/sex life life.

 

Put 10,000 single women with 10,000 single men and around 80% or more of the women will only be attracted to around 20% or less of the men.

 

Of course how applicable and influencial this principle is in human society and all other systems of life on earth may be "too advance" for your brain cells to fully understand. Put that thought up your ass.

 

Please go back to statistics 101 and read up on the Pareto Principle. You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.

[Guest]

Hmmm...guys if your friend's hot wife has been flirting with you all night, she changes into something revealing, and sits on your lap, fuck her. It's only polite.

 

This should be rule#1 whether you're with a swinger or any woman: "A gentleman never turns down a wanton woman."

[hkdilbert 181]

On 8/19/2017 at 4:29 AM, M1F2KTJ said:

Damn! A single man looking to play with swingers hand book!

 

Most respectful single men already do these things.

Our experience with single men online is that most are NOT respectful or polite.  It's as simple as that....

[Guest]

I echo hk and the thing is, politeness, along with grooming and respect have everything to do with who I select.  It’s not about dick size or even height or weight.

[adamgunn 1,456]

5 hours ago, hkdilbert said:

Our experience with single men online is that most are NOT respectful or polite.  It's as simple as that....

Agreed. Most. I'd say in the neighborhood of 70%. Of the remaining 30%, 2 out of three aren't what we're looking for - age, weight, marital status, lack of chemistry. You've got to wade through a bunch of chaff to find the needle.

[Guest]

We actually changed the way we find them. When we started swinging and 3somes or the possibility of me just picking up a guy to lay became an option, we made the mistake of searching and filtering candidates on swinger sites. It was a waste of time and like many have commented above, the guys weren't what we expected. Soooo, and while it may offend some, we came to the conclusion that there really isn't such a thing as a single male swinger. They are just promiscuous men and think about it....why don't they have a girlfriend or wife, and if they do, they have a problem or are a problem. 

 

For about 10 years now, I pick up men out in town just like I would if I was single. We go to upscale hotel bars or martini bars and I can take the pick of the litter. If they are game for a 3some...great. If not, I lay them anyway. I have found they are very respectful, excited, good lays, and very appreciative. 

 

 

 

 

[adamgunn 1,456]

2 hours ago, FullSwapCLT said:

we came to the conclusion that there really isn't such a thing as a single male swinger. They are just promiscuous men

A good point. Now we've had plenty of success on SLS finding our 'promiscuous' men, but you're right - the men usually aren't out to have a girlfriend, or be FWBs or anything else - they just want to get laid.

 

Which is okay with us, all we want is for Mary to get laid, so there's something in common!

[padoc 1,696]

We have long argued that, while a 2nd dick can be fun and a nice edition occasionally, single men are not swingers, they are opportunists. Swinging, in our opinion is primarily a couples hobby/sport. Single guys, particularly on swingers sites or clubs, just want to get laid with minimal effort explaining why many are either rude, pushy or simply disrespectful.

[couplers 4,140]

On 7/28/2017 at 5:43 PM, Guest said:

12. FRIENDSHIP: Please consider that the couple you are meeting "Might" actually want a normal everyday friendship along with the sexual side, that not every couple are hardcore sex addicted porn stars, in fact the vast majority of couples into this lifestyle are just normal everyday people like me or you. Many couples are not simply here for sex alone but also to have fun social times, to meet new people, chat with new people, make friends with new people, share adventures and experiences with new people. This means they wanted to be treated like human beings not like blow up sex dolls.

 

13. HOTEL BILL: If a couple agrees to meet you in a hotel for a sexual experience then please put your hand in your pocket and pay for half of the hotel bill. For a couple paying for travel / food / drinks / hotel / child care / can actually be a very expensive thing, just to meet you some couples will have to spend a fortune and it will often help them greatly if your also willing to contribute to some of that cost, even just half the hotel bill will help greatly.

I agree with all of your advice, especially the two above.  As a couple, hubby and I did the same thing with single women.  After two years of hubby letting me keep my boyfriend from before we met, I finally overcame my jealousy and set it up for him to have sex with an acquaintance of mine.  The jealous burn for me was addicting so I wanted to do it more, and be able to watch.

 

We never used any dating sites or other online hookup methods.  I would approach acquaintances from the gym, coffee shop, bookstore, one from church even. We would date them together: take them to dinner, the theater, concerts, even on vacation with us (separate rooms), paying for everything and never expecting anything.

 

We would never come on to her, but create opportunities for her to take it further: I would leave her alone with David to show I was not jealous and comfortable with it (and call her phone letting her know when I was coming back), I would undress/dress in front of them both. While I was primarily looking for her to play with David (and hopefully letting me watch), we were open to her being Lesbian with me and to having threesomes. Most didn't go anywhere sexually but were fun (the fantasies and sex afterwards between hubby and me were incredible); some were willing to fuck hubby; a few got with me and two were lovers for both of us. Regardless, there were no hard feeling or regrets by anyone and we still occasionally get together with all of the women that we are still in contact with - two with their husbands, one of whom openly discusses the adventures we three had in the presence of her husband.

[goku714 30]

On 7/28/2017 at 4:43 PM, Guest said:

MY ADVICE TO SINGLE MEN:

 

I have been involved in the swinging lifestyle for well over 20 years now, and during that time I have had my fair share of experiences including MMF / MFF threesomes and even foursomes with other couples. More to the point I'd say over the years me and my female partners have met a fairly large number of so called "Single Men" and for what it is worth I thought I'd offer my advice and suggestions to those men who are trying to explore this lifestyle.

 

If you a man trying to explore this lifestyle then by all means read this post and perhaps you will improve your chances of success in this lifestyle.

 

What follows is my own personal suggestions to any male trying to get involved with group sex:

 

1. CHEATING: If you are a man who is cheating on your girlfriend or wife, if your simply looking for some discreet no strings fun behind your partner's back then PLEASE do us swinging couples a favour and simply join a fling/affair based web site online as there are many to chose from. These web sites are sometimes called "Fling Sites / Hook Up Sites / Affair Sites" but they are packed with people who are simply looking for no string discreet sex without needing to involve the issues and complexity of swinging and dealing with couples. Also it is worth noting that on most normal "Dating Sites" there are countless single women who are simply looking for fun, in fact most of the normal everyday dating sites have options that say "Just Looking For Fun / Not Looking For Commitment". In fact there are a lot of women out there who just want to go out and have a good time and get laid, you do NOT need swinging to find someone to cheat with.

 

2. WOMEN: If your ONLY GOAL as a man is to sleep with new women then again please do swinging couples a favour and simply join a Hook Up Site / Affair Site / Dating Site / Fling Site and find a single women who would like some male company. Please be aware that on swinging sites there are a VERY LIMITED number of single women where on your average dating site there are hundreds if not thousands of women all seeking anything from no strings sex to proper relationships. If all you desire is sex with a women then you don't need swinging to find that.

 

3. INTRODUCE YOURSELF: If you are still interested in swinging, if you still want to explore the world of threesomes and group sex with couples then when you do contact a couple please make sure to actually "Introduce Yourself". It actually annoys a lot of couples when a man asks them for sex / sexual meetings without even giving their name, without even taking the normal common decency to introduce themselves. Saying "Hello my name is James" takes seconds and it will help couples get to know you better and feel more settled speaking with you.

 

4. GIVE EVERYDAY DETAILS: When you contact a couple I highly recommend spending a little time describing yourself as a person, for example what hobbies you enjoy / what sports you play / what music you like / what you do for a living / roughly what location you live in / if you smoke or not / if you live alone or with friends, family, partner / what films you like / what you usually get up to on a weekend / if you have any other interests / what games you like. This information will actually help the couple a lot and will often speed up the process. It will not only speed up the process and make a couple feel more at ease with you but will quickly allow couples to see if your a good match for them.

 

5. FACE / BODY PICTURES: If you contact a couple please make sure you send that couple a recent photo of your face / body, please don't just send them pictures of your penis. If possible send the couple several pictures of your face, and several pictures of your body (not just your penis) and again this will help greatly and speed up the process.

 

6. READ PROFILE: It does help greatly if you actually read the profile that the couple has written, within that profile are usually details and hints about what that couple is looking for allowing you to see if they would be a good match for you.

 

7. BISEXUAL: If you look at a couple's profile and it clearly says they are bisexual or looking for other bisexual people then it would help greatly if you are actually bisexual. Please do NOT pretend to be bisexual just to try and sleep with a new women. Like stated above if your only goal is to sleep with a women then simply join one of the other types of web sites that often have far more women on them. If you class yourself as a fully 100% straight male then please make sure that is what the couple is actually looking for.

 

8. HOMOPHOBIC: If you class yourself as a man who is homophobic, a man who HATES the idea of been near other naked men, who hates the idea of other men seeing them naked, who hates the idea of sharing the same women with another man, a man who is disgusted / angry / paranoid about been around other men in a sexual nature then please do not get involved with swinging with couples that include another man. Simply focus your attention on trying to find a single women or even two women and don't bother trying to meet couples that have a male half.

 

9. HYGIENE: If your a man wanting to explore this subject then please make sure your own personal hygiene is really good, that means bathing / showering everyday, cutting your nails, trimming pubic hair, shaving unsightly beards or areas, wearing clean unstained clothes, brushing teeth and tongue, wearing clean shoes, washing your hair, cutting or brushing your hair, wearing deodorant, using scents or aftershaves, trimming nose or ear hair, trimming your eyebrows. If you have very good hygiene, in person and on your profile pictures it will help everyone involved.

 

10. BATH BEFORE MEETING: If you do arrange to meet a couple then please shower or bath shortly before meeting them, do NOT have a shower before work then attend work for 8 hours and expect a couple to meet a stale smelly man. If your going to meet a couple then please shower or bath about 30 minutes before you leave the house to meet them. Having a bath the day before is not good enough, having a bath that morning before work is not good enough, if your meeting someone bath or shower fully just before you leave to meet them.

 

11. GET CHECKED OUT: If your planning to meet couples for sexual fun then please do everyone a favour and pop to your local sexual clinic and get tested for STD'S / STI'S and make sure you are sexually clean before playing with people. These tests are 100% confidential, they take minutes to achieve if you book an appointment, and at worst you need to have a urine and blood test and you will not only make sure you are safe but will help ensure the safety of people you play with. Remember a lot of countries now class it as illegal, or even attempted murder to knowingly pass on a STD or STI (Sexually Transmitted Disease / Sexually Transmitted Infection) in some cases people are getting heavy prison sentences for spreading such STD'S / STI'S.

 

12. FRIENDSHIP: Please consider that the couple you are meeting "Might" actually want a normal everyday friendship along with the sexual side, that not every couple are hardcore sex addicted porn stars, in fact the vast majority of couples into this lifestyle are just normal everyday people like me or you. Many couples are not simply here for sex alone but also to have fun social times, to meet new people, chat with new people, make friends with new people, share adventures and experiences with new people. This means they wanted to be treated like human beings not like blow up sex dolls.

 

13. HOTEL BILL: If a couple agrees to meet you in a hotel for a sexual experience then please put your hand in your pocket and pay for half of the hotel bill. For a couple paying for travel / food / drinks / hotel / child care / can actually be a very expensive thing, just to meet you some couples will have to spend a fortune and it will often help them greatly if your also willing to contribute to some of that cost, even just half the hotel bill will help greatly.

 

14. FOLLOW THE RULES: Please make sure to ask the couple if they have any rules or boundaries regarding sexual play or meeting you, and make sure to pay attention and keep those rules. You might say rules are there for breaking, but actually a lot of couples have things like mortgages / children / sick family members / debts / not to mention their relationship and future to think about and by breaking the rules you are putting those things in danger and will often be totally outcast by that couple, they may even call the police if the situation is serious enough.

 

15. KEEP YOUR DISTANCE: Just because a couple agrees to play with you that does NOT MEAN they want you showing up at their home uninvited, that does not mean they want you turning up at their workplace / social hangouts / places of study / hobby locations and so on. If you do turn up at such places uninvited you will not only upset the couple but may land yourself in trouble with the police for stalking. Where couples are concerned I fully suggest calling the police if a man causes you or your life any trouble whatsoever.

 

16. BE POLITE: It goes without saying but the vast majority of couples are looking for someone to treat them nicely / with decency / and to be friendly and polite. Messaging a new couple and simply asking "Do you want to fuck?" or saying "Does your wife swallow cum?" or even the classic "Does your wife do anal sex?" is NOT being polite, it is not attractive, it is not sensual, and in fact most couples consider it to be rude and thoughtless. Use manners, be polite, be friendly, be honest and open and it will help your chances with couples.

 

17. ARRIVE ON TIME: If a couple agrees to meet you at 18:00 then make sure you arrive at 18:00 and no later than 18:15. If you are going to be late please message the couple and explain you will be late and see if that is okay. A lot of couples put in a lot of effort into meeting a new person, they not only have to clean themselves, clean the house, and mentally prepare, but they often need to arrange child care, food, drinks, sexual aids and you arriving an hour late can seriously effect those things.

 

18. DON'T PUSH THINGS: If the couple say they do not like anal sex then don't ask for anal sex. If the couple says they don't like people cumming in their mouths then don't ask to cum in their mouths. If the couple asks you to use condoms then please use condoms. If the couple asks you to take things slow then please take things slow. If you try and push boundaries and ask for things you know the couple doesn't want it will soon put them off you and end the entire situation.

 

19. HATS / SOCKS / CLOTHING: If your a fan of wearing baseball caps / beanie hats then cool, but that does NOT mean a couple wants to have sex with you whilst your wearing your hat. This is just personal preference but in my opinion you should take off hats, socks, strange items of jewelry or clothing before playing.

 

20. HAVE TIME: If your planning to meet a couple then please understand you actually need to have THE TIME to meet them. For example a lot of couples will want to speak for a while before playing, they will want to chat, ask questions, make sure rules or boundaries are understood, they might want to have a few drinks before playing meaning you might spend 1 or even 2 hours simply chatting, drinking, mentally preparing before you actually have sex. Please do NOT meet a couple if you only have 40 minutes to spare, if your meeting a new couple for the first 3 or 4 times please make sure you have enough time to chat, relax, have a drink or two (even soft drinks) and have enough time to have sex 1, 2,or even 3 times. Personally speaking as a man I'd not meet a couple unless I had at least 2 or 3 hours to spare.

 

21. DRINK / DRUGS / SMOKING: I strongly suggest you find out the couple's opinions on such things before you meet them. For example you might drink heavily but the couple you are meeting might not like alcohol at all. You might smoke heavily but the couple you are meeting might not like smoking at all. You might like certain recreational drugs but the couple your meeting might not. Please do NOT turn up at a couples home carrying beer, smokes, drugs unless you already know they are okay with that been in their home / near them.

 

22. KEEP THE SECRET: If you do meet a couple, if you do explore sexually with them then sure you might want to run off and tell your friends, tell your work mates, tell your best buddy but I can not stress enough how much damage talking to people about this subject can do. If you play with a couple then it is a private matter, they do not want people knowing and please believe me neither do you as a man or else it will come back and bite you in the ass.

 

23. WRITE A GOOD PROFILE: It helps a lot if you write a good profile for couples to read, most men cannot even write more than 2 or 3 lines but actually it will help couples a lot if you put in some effort with your profile. For example, explain your hobbies, explain your location, explain your body, explain what you are looking for, explain your hygiene standards, explain your sexuality, explain any issues you might have, give couples something to read, let them know more about you and it will help couples to contact you.

 

24. BE PATIENT: It can take sometime to speak with a couple, ask questions, give answers, arrange to meet, have social meetings, find the time where everyone is free to play. Life for most couples is rather hectic, it involves work, family, friends, cleaning, travelling, cooking, bills, the everyday stresses of life, everything from bad nights sleep to hard days at work and it can take a couple sometime to find the right evening to meet you. Don't expect a couple simply to drop everything and meet you within a minutes notice.

 

25. BE A GOOD PERSON: Finally I'd say if a couple does trust you enough to meet you for sex then the least you can do is be thankful and respectful of their relationship. Don't try and break them up, don't try and start some secret affair, don't try and stalk the women involved. If you want your own girlfriend or wife then go and find one of the hundreds of dating sites or meet one in person at a bar or work. Please understand if a couple agrees to have sex with you then NO you do not need to steal away the women to get sex, they have already agreed to have sex with you. You don't need to meet the women alone or start stalking anyone, they have already agreed to meet you as a couple. If you want your own wife or girlfriend, if you want an affair, if you simply want to fuck a women then there are loads of women out there without needing to cause a couple any issues.

 

 

OVERALL:

 

I hope this helps someone, if your a single man and you truly want to explore sex with couples then don't be a pushy sex obsessed clown but instead be a decent person, be honest, be open, offer the couple fun friendship and sex, be clean and polite, respect the rules and you will be the one man they are looking for out of the millions out there.

Excellent advice, I’ll definitely remember this and re-read it 🙏🏾😇☮️☯️💯

[enhancer 1,542]

All great advice, but as said early on in this thread most single men don’t bother reading the first sentence of a couples profile let alone the whole thing!  We usually know this by the first message they send.  We also have zero tolerance for stupid people so we do not give them a second look if it is clear they did not bother reading it in the first place. 

 

So I guess our first tip would be to actually read the couples profile and if you are not what they spend the time to say clearly they are looking for in an extra person do not bother wasting their and your time messaging them!  

[Sophy 551]

The single men that I have played with have been exclusively recommended by other friends couples, going online and choosing a guy just because he is cute is a damn stupid idea that will leave us disappointed or can be even dangerous!

 

Our couple friends recommend us not only handsome guys with experience that can "perform" but also that understand 100% the lifestyle and their role in it, for us, there is a big difference when we meet with another couple to swap and have group sex than having a single man for an MFM.

 

During couple swap and/or party we are there to participate as a team, to be pleased and please everybody involved.

My husband is straight, during an MFM, I am the Centre of attention, I am there to be pleased until exhaustion and to perform for my Husband, to put on a good show for him, the single man is there with us to facilitate all that.