Anxious over his treatment of me

[Learning 160]

Glad to hear that you linked with a great therapist that specializes in sex addiction. Keep going to process and get stronger atta girl!

[Nat 15]

The character of Mr Grey is so like my ex, manipulative, cold, controlling, conditioning etc. Because I was so in love with the ex I never stood up to him. I'm so glad I'm out of that relationship, its been 9 days now, I feel

so much better for it.

[Guest sandraandalex]

And one of the reasons he became distant was that you were asking questions, he could no longer continue with his deceptions. Once the con-artist can no longer run the con, they disconnect.

[Nat 15]

Dear All, it's 16 days since I walked away from my ex. I'm still hurting inside so much and I cry everyday because I genuinely miss him despite how he behaved. I can never risk having him back in my life because I never want to go through this kind of hurt again and I'll never trust him not to hurt me. There has been no contact or communication between us but for some reason I feel he still has a hold on me gripping me like a vice.

 

I do have a question for which I think I will start a new post.

[Alura 2,766]

That hurt will suddenly go away when you find a mature chap who will appreciate you and love you in the way that is being discussed in your thread.

 

Alura

[Nat 15]

I discovered yesterday my ex was seeing his ex from two years back with whom he was into swinging with. How did I feel...very very upset at discovering photo's of her in his lounge and bedroom. Today I have had to text ex about some keys I can't find but he didn't reply. I felt quite hurt because all he had to say yes he'd got them or no he hadn't. I can't understand why he's still treating me like crap when I did nothing wrong.xx

[funcoupledayton 2,707]

I discovered yesterday my ex was seeing his ex from two years back with whom he was into swinging with. How did I feel...very very upset at discovering photo's of her in his lounge and bedroom. Today I have had to text ex about some keys I can't find but he didn't reply. I felt quite hurt because all he had to say yes he'd got them or no he hadn't. I can't understand why he's still treating me like crap when I did nothing wrong.xx

 

You should understand that he is treating you like crap because you are letting him and he is a jerk. Please try to stop letting him hurt you. Cut off all contact with him, if that means getting a locksmith, get a locksmith, don't talk to him about keys or anything else. Erase his number from your phone and your memory. Don't go to his place or anywhere he goes for awhile. You are letting him continue to have power over you. You really can't get over someone if you continue to try to have contact with them.

 

Sorry you are hurting.

[slevin 1,374]

Was texting him about keys just an excuse? Sounds like a pretty trivial reason to contact him. Also, why are you keeping up on his comings and goings?

[Nat 15]

I needed the keys which are to the roof box and roof bars to my car. I need to start selling some things that i will no longer be needing and he had the keys last.

 

I guess i checked because i was never given any explanation by him as to why he suddenly and unexpectedly pulled away from me, I guess i never had the closure and have gone out to seek the answers myself. We exchanged a few texts yesterday and he said it was me who decided to move out and he did not feel it a necessity to do anything about it because the relationship had come as far as it was going to go. He was getting on with his life and he couldn't give me what i wanted. He wished me well and said he's happy to remain friends. I just cried and cried and cried, i've been thrown right back to when we first split 3 weeks ago. I feel very raw and fragile and contacting him was a big mistake. I've got relationship counselling tomorrow, hope that helps.

[Alura 2,766]

You are one lucky lady, Nat! Did he have the keys or not? That seems the most important question...

 

Alura

[Just Passing By 140]

Just use a crowbar or a Locksmith as may be best suited.

 

It doesn't matter WHAT he says about WHY anything happened.

 

You are better off without him in any case no matter what he does or dosen't say at this point.

 

Continue your steps )ou are tking to move on , but put him behind you.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

I know it's hard to keep yourself from contacting him, but it really is the best thing you can do for your own sanity. The more you talk to him the more things go around in your head.

 

It's been a week since we last heard from you, I do hope that you are ok.

[Nat 15]

Hey everyone, just checking in. It'll be a month tomorrow since I walked out of Simons life and boy do I feel relieved. No more walking on eggshells, no more fetching and carrying for him, no more thinking about him. I can't believe I'm coming through it so quickly, maybe because I delete his texts and haven't seen him since. Anyway the latest is...he came to my place of work and stood near me and spoke to one of my male colleagues, this is two weeks after I told him I was still raw and seeing him would be too painful. I was so concentrating on my computer screen that i didn't even notice him and his voice didn't even register with me...lol. I bet he thinks I blankef him deliberately but I didn't, I genuinely didn't realise he was there. One of my colleagues is leaving for Australia and it's his leaving do next week, Simon has decided he's going too even though he has nothing to do with my colleague. My colleague isn't happy and neither am I because I can't understand why Simon would want to go as he knows I'll be going because my colleague and I work together. I am anxious about this because I feel Simon will flirt with women right under my nose and I'm not ready for that. Any suggestions? Xxx

[slevin 1,374]

Make an appearance, then leave. Don't pay attention to him, don't worry about what he is doing, just leave. Take your colleague out for lunch before the going away do so you can have a chance to wish him well on his journey.

[mauijanedoe 1,414]

One of my colleagues is leaving for Australia and it's his leaving do next week, Simon has decided he's going too even though he has nothing to do with my colleague. My colleague isn't happy and neither am I because I can't understand why Simon would want to go as he knows I'll be going because my colleague and I work together. I am anxious about this because I feel Simon will flirt with women right under my nose and I'm not ready for that. Any suggestions? Xxx

 

Don't go. As slevin suggests, take your colleague out for a lunch, but skip the party. As neither you nor your colleague is happy about the situation, I'm certain only a minimal explanation of your absence will be required.

[Nat 15]

Dear All, I'm back very briefly to update you all on the latest.

 

Two weeks ago a wonderful man came into my life quite unexpectedly. He is the most loving, loyal, generous man I could ever ask for. Everyday he tells me he loves me, misses me, wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I am truly happy, madly in love and looking to a future with my true soulmate. Xxx

[Alura 2,766]

That's exactly how it happened to me, Nat. Congratulations!

 

Alura