Wife sharing ... crossing the line?

[jandlvaldosta 15]

We had some nice dinners with him and the other couple, but didn't get to enjoy any other activities together. We were separated most of the time. I actually spent more time with the other husband.

[kcguy86 15]

jandlvaldosta said:

When we arrived he talked to us about our time with him. We would be allowed to do pretty much anything, including using the boat, access to the golf course, dining, drinks, etc. In return he would have access to my wife Laura when he wanted. In talking with the other couple they were basically given the same talk. He made it clear he was in charge and control, but in return we would all have a good time. He did ask that I not have sex with Laura while we were there, that for that time she would just be for him.

 

Oh hell no. I'm cool with most things but nobody and I mean nobody will tell me I can't have sex with my wife.

 

Question though, what kind of sexual limits did you guys have?

[PB&J 1,086]

Alura said:

I agree. It's not the wielding of the host's penis that bothers me, it's the wielding of power, which I suspect was his major motivation.

 

Thank you! You expressed my feelings about this perfectly. Sounds like the host got his kicks not just out of the sex but of being in control. This is not something that we would ever want to do. Swinging for us is a sharing experience.

[jandlvaldosta 15]

yeah he kidded me about that night the next day and told me I could at least masturbate. He told me he appreciated me waiting and playing once we got back home, and not while my wife was "pulling booty duty".

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

I think you can see what most of us were warning against when you began this thread.

 

• "pulling booty duty"
  
• separated from your wife for all but dinners
  
• he knew when you were getting frisky and interrupted (I'll give you one guess how)
  
• He made it clear he was in charge and control
  
• Laura while we were there, that for that time she would just be for him.
  

 

I am glad you had a good time, but it sounds like you have some reservations. Not to beat a dead horse, but maybe it is best to put it behind you and chalk it up to lessons learned.

[jandlvaldosta 15]

he knew when you were getting frisky and interrupted (I'll give you one guess how)

 

?? how ? we were behind closed doors

 

from talking with my wife, he encouraged her to have sex with me when she came back to my room ... but she didnt want to because she wasnt fresh. I was so horny lol. From talking to the other husband, our host made the same request of his wife also, but the other couple went for it.

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

His house right?

 

Audio and video tech is light weight, easy to hide and cheap. I have helped friends install security and nanny cams/audio for private homes. It is really very simple and very difficult to find even when you know what you are looking for.

[PB&J 1,086]

from talking with my wife, he encouraged her to have sex with me when she came back to my room ... but she didnt want to because she wasnt fresh.

 

Of course he made that request. That really makes him top dog- he gets the women when he wants them, you get your wife when he's done with her, and only then.

 

I hope the fishing and golfing were worth it. If we had signed on for such a vacation ourselves- well, in the first place we wouldn't have, and in the second place when the "no sex with each other" stipulation was made, we would have said good-bye.

 

I wasn't there, maybe it wasn't as bad as it seems from what you have said, but oh boy that sounds like some weird power-tripping vibes to me.

[MN Tom 251]

Quite the interesting situation to be sure.

 

In just talking a bit about it with my wife the glimmer of "high end call girl" feelings come to play. Not saying that is necessarily a bad thing, the real key from her view is if she has a good desire for Mr Power. The control facet is another matter, not sure if we could put up with that. Depends on how he handles it I guess, and if he is calm and collected about it, or if it seems to have any tinge of anger. The control issue could be considered a form of role play to some degree, if it was more real though, it probably wouldnt fly.

[jandlvaldosta 15]

We were recontacted by him today, and he would like to bring us down again next month. He said he would like me in the room with them this time, so maybe thats a good thing. I explained to him some of our concerns, basically some of the things people here have raised, and he has said he did not have a video cam in our room.

[two4youinswva 3,067]

What is your interest in going back for a repeat visit?

Genuinely curious, not being snarky.

[jandlvaldosta 15]

Basically he is an OK guy. Wife is not blown away by him, but is OK with him. He really treats her well, with gifts and things we cannot do on our own. I feel she deserves some of the finer things which at this time because of the economy I cannot give her on my own.

[jandlvaldosta 15]

We are going back next week to see him. He wants to give us some cash this time, because he knows we are having hard times financially. The cash thing would be very helpful, but I feel bad about taking it. But I want her to have things I can't give right now. I would prefer he just give her gifts I think but we are behind on the mortgage and I am out of work at the moment.

[slevin 1,374]

We are going back next week to see him. He wants to give us some cash this time, because he knows we are having hard times financially. The cash thing would be very helpful, but I feel bad about taking it. But I want her to have things I cant give right now. I would prefer he just give her gifts I think but we are behind on the mortgage and I am out of work at the moment.

 

If you do this, make sure that it's something that you can live with later. Immediate need doesn't always equate future comfort levels.

[jandlvaldosta 15]

I talked by email with the husband of the other couple that was there also, and he has invited them again also. I am a little bit suspicious about the idea that he may have had a camera planted in our rooms because the other husband had the same experience I did, his wife got called away both times they tried to play together.

[PB&J 1,086]

jandlvaldosta said:

I talked by email with the husband of the other couple that was there also, and he has invited them again also. I am a little bit suspicious about the idea that he may have had a camera planted in our rooms because the other husband had the same experience I did, his wife got called away both times they tried to play together.

 

I hope this is making you reconsider your decision to return.

[funcoupledayton 2,707]

This just doesn't seem like a worthy pursuit to me. As a woman I wouldn't feel good at all about what was happening. Does the other wife have chemistry with him?

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

I am a little bit suspicious about the idea that he may have had a camera planted in our rooms because the other husband had the same experience i did, his wife got called away both times they tried to play together.

 

But he told you he didn't.

[bbarnsworth 2,536]

jandlvaldosta; if you continue with this guy, it's a train wreck in action. I don't see how this will play out in any beneficial way. You're playing with serious fire.

[djjwp 129]

Would like an update on this one...

[wisconsin 58]

Interesting post.

 

We did get couple offers like this by older men but my husband said,'' No way "

 

There is a difference between recreational sex and getting paid for sex. If you are ok with it I would at least negotiate some rules on how much time she will spend with him and what kind of activities she will enjoy there while working on him. He is requesting too much and he needs to know about it in a polite way. If he is paying for everything you guys still have negotiating power and control over the situation. Sounds like you are going along with whatever he wants.

[jandlvaldosta 15]

You guys were right, this was a bad idea. Unfortunately we are in deep.

[bbarnsworth 2,536]

Explain?

[two4youinswva 3,067]

you guys were right, this was a bad idea. unfortunately we are in deep.

 

Then it's time to climb out.

[kcguy86 15]

you guys were right, this was a bad idea. unfortunately we are in deep.

 

How are you in deep?

[Dont.Stop 339]

5/6/11

 

Hi this is our first post here. We are in an odd situation, and not sure how to handle it. My wife and I enjoy the occasional extra man in the bedroom. Sometimes it is just a playmate for her and I watch, and sometimes I join in.

 

We have met an older man and chatted with him a good bit. He is not really my wife's type, she generally likes younger men (usually mid to late twenties). This gentleman is around 60. He isnt the best looking guy according to my wife, and she doesnt have a big attraction to him.

 

Here is the problem though. He is very generous. He has given her several things through Amazon. These were fairly expensive items, in the $100 to $200 dollar range, mostly clothing. He has offered to fly the both of us to his place, in Florida. He lives on the coast and has a boat. He is legitimate and not an internet fake. He has given us his home and work numbers, and he owns the company (it has his name in it). He has offered to let us stay with him for a week, and enjoy the amenities, in return for spending quality time with my wife. On the one hand she isnt really into him, but on the other he is offering something that we can't afford now or at any time in the forseeable future.

 

I think I know what the responses here will be, but I was curious what you thought about a situation like this. My wife isnt turned off by him, and he seems like a genuinely nice guy who is trying to help us. But I don't think she would be interested if the offer was just to meet for dinner.

 

6/23/11

 

you guys were right, this was a bad idea. unfortunately we are in deep.

 

There's another thread floating around here from years ago where someone asked for advice, then ignored it (and plenty more advice afterwards) and it ended up a predictable train wreck.

 

My question is, why ask if you won't listen? Were you really looking for advice or for someone to agree with the decision you'd obviously already made?

 

You've made your bed. Sure hope you find it comfortable.

[LFM2 1,481]

you guys were right, this was a bad idea. unfortunately we are in deep.

 

I too would love to hear more about this statement. Can you share more?

[jandlvaldosta 15]

She loves the gifts that he has given her and doesn't want it to stop. They are now encouraging me to do things that I am not willing to do, and he is getting her to encourage me. For example, he wanted me to watch them have sex. He has gotten her to let him stop using condoms. They have let me on the bed with them, but I didn't really get to participate, just masturbate some. When he finished with her, she rolled over on top of me and sat on my face. I could tell from the way they were looking at each other this was something they had talked about in advance.

[bbarnsworth 2,536]

Well, as others have said, you were given advice by virtually everyone that this was a really, really bad idea to let this progress. You did anyway. So, now you find yourself in a really bad situation. If you're thinking at all of blaming your wife, you're out of line. The fault lies squarely with you.

 

You now have a single choice to make; either put up with it, or insist it end immediately. If you don't insist on it ending immediately, then once again you're getting exactly what you ask for.

 

Your wife and this other man are intentionally humiliating you. If you enjoy that sort of thing (some do, no crime in that) then have at it.

 

Me, I'd not give this a second thought. It ends. Now.

[Alura 2,766]

I'm not sure J has that choice to make, B. My guess is that his choices are being made for him.

 

Now that she's experienced that which money can buy, J, can she go back to worrying about the mortgage payment? Can you?

 

 

Incidentally, jandlvaldosa, Thank you for opening this thread. It has covered a rare subject and the input throughout has been wise. It's a boon to the board as it surely will be to any couple facing the same decision/opportunity.

[Swing*8701 885]

Okay, so they got together, had you watch them have sex, then she rolls over, her pussy in your face so you would have his cum in your mouth. And, you feel they had conspired to do this to you. Well, she's sure bonding with this guy to the point of sexually pranking you. Not a good sign for the marriage.

 

Unless, you're a troll and I'm beginning to perceive you as such.

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

He still has choices.

 

He played with fire and got burned.

 

Now you can choose to stand up or keep enjoying the fruits of your wifes labor and the negative consequences that come with it.

 

If you make a stand you may not get the reaction you hope for. Then you have some more choices.

 

You need to figure out what you want and do it.

[revicamc 15]

Quote

Ed here-- Surely you know he has done this many times before. You were chosen because your wife is beautiful and your economic situation can motivate you. As a man of means, this doesn't truly cost him anything, yet will cost you everything.

 

At this point do you know the names of any other couples he's done this to/with? He apparently didn't have any "attached" women when you and the other couple first met him. I wonder how many other women he's dumped.

 

Has this occurred to your wife?

 

EDIT

 

Quote

he owns the company (it has his name in it)

 

This would also be the time to do some more Goggling, such as

Joe Jones Company, COMPLAINT

 

Also consider this website

 

https://www.myfloridacounty.com/ori/index.do

[Big Rock 173]

Edison Carter said:

Okay, so they got together, had you watch them have sex, then she rolls over, her pussy in your face so you would have his cum in your mouth. And, you feel they had conspired to do this to you. Well, she's sure bonding with this guy to the point of sexually pranking you. Not a good sign for the marriage.

 

Unless, you're a troll and I'm beginning to perceive you as such.

I agree with Edison completely. It seems like your wife has transferred her allegiance to the , "bigger dog". She is bonding, emotionally, with him, to your detriment. If you are not a troll, then you need to stop this now and give your wife the bottom line choice of your marriage or the rich guy. But like others have said, you were warned and still chose to let it happen, so don't be surprised by the answer you get.

[LFM2 1,481]

I'm just honestly curious -- what would be the consequences if you told him no more. I mean leave cold turkey? Would your wife be willing to leave post haste?

[TheRedHalf 81]

I'm curious too. What price does one put on a relationship now a days? My wife and I have talked this one over at length and it turns our stomachs just thinking about it. We love recreational sex just like anyone else here but I think this has moved WAY beyond that.

 

Our best wishes go out to you and your wife. We hope the two of you can work through this and reconnect has Husband and Wife.

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

I'm just honestly curious -- what would be the consequences if you told him no more. I mean leave cold turkey? Would your wife be willing to leave post haste?

 

The potential for being a troll aside, I think his fear is that his wife would give up the marriage before the sugar daddy. Or at the very least giving up the sugar daddy would cause an irreparable rift in the marriage, that would lead to the end of any swinging for him, or worse, divorce.

[MN Tom 251]

I second the wise alura, this is a very interesting topic to bring up. A friend of ours was propositioned in a similar fashion, they got lucky though and discovered another couple who had dealt with mr rich ahead of time and heard that the situation was rife with problems, so they said no.

 

Yeah, at this point it sounds like your wife is attached and doesn't want to leave him. She's probably infatuated and as such isn't really thinking clearly. My guess would be that that at some point in the future, she would be cast away and the wealthy guy would again be doing this same ploy with other couples. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe not. I wouldn't hang around to find out.

[wisconsin 58]

If you are not a troll I would recommend you to let them know they can do whatever they want without your participation.

 

He is not there for the sex. He needs and wants to be in control of you as a couple. As soon as he realizes that you are not on board anymore he will lose interest in your wife and she will come back to you very soon.

[djjwp 129]

I must be odd but I wish this thread had not stopped. I wanted to hear the details. May not be what we would want but there might have been a good story here even it it may be fiction.

[ALilOEverything 900]

I've known a couple to use the sugardaddie.com website with great success so this is not out of the realm of possibility. I don't know how the OP met the guy but there are definitely means to do so.

[bbarnsworth 2,536]

I must be odd but I wish this thread had not stopped. I wanted to hear the details. May not be what we would want but there might have been a good story here even it it may be fiction.

 

Well, a number of people seem to think we were being played, that the story is fake. Maybe so, don't know. Truth is often stranger than fiction.

[lovinglyshared 15]

Whatever you do, don't do it for the perks. Do it for the pleasure or don't do it at all.

[BigNikki 43]

I agree with just about everyone that this tale is a load of fantasy. But let's mine it for nuggets of wisdom.

 

There are a lot of creeps out there. And there are a lot of rich folks out there. So there's some rich creeps who will use their dough to manipulate people. On the other side, there's no shortage of gullible or needy people with just terrible judgment, who don't know how to avoid waltzing into some exploitative situation.

 

Assuming you have any common sense, use it to steer clear of bad situations. One of John's college roommates has a tale of being served up on a silver platter to a couple middle aged chicken hawks. Thankfully he had the wit to make a polite exit.

 

I also want to take a different look at these things. I've been learning through curious experiences that the rich have to buy their friends.

 

How does anything screwy like that happen? Let me explain. (1) If you're rich and kindly by nature, you're generous with what you have. But to be cold about it, that's buying friends. (2) People treat the rich differently, as a bit awesome. How can you have a normal friendship with someone who you are in awe of? (3) Being rich changes so many things in your life that you don't know how to relate to normal people. (4) the rich are eccentric because being rich makes you weird.

 

I know this first hand, most recently being treated to a cross-country weekend at a famous resort, by a rich acquaintance. What did I do to deserve that? Well my host needed some friends around to feel good, and what he needs, he buys.

 

Understand those facts, keep your eyes open for whether you're being bought for your company or for a toy to exploit, and you can avoid some grief.

 

LovinglyShared said it so much more succinctly than I have: Whatever you do, don't do it for the perks. Do it for the pleasure or don't do it at all.

[slevin 1,374]

How does anything screwy like that happen? Let me explain. (1) If you're rich and kindly by nature, you're generous with what you have. But to be cold about it, that's buying friends. (2) People treat the rich differently, as a bit awesome. How can you have a normal friendship with someone who you are in awe of? (3) Being rich changes so many things in your life that you don't know how to relate to normal people. (4) the rich are eccentric because being rich makes you weird.

 

This is definitely an interesting sub-topic. There is truth in what you're saying, in general. There is something even more basic at play with many rich people though I think. They are no different than anyone else; they have 'issues', insecurities, problems in social situations, bad judgement, excessive pride and any other issue you could find in a non-rich person. Couple that with cynicism from many people always looking for something and you have a very strange phenomenon where rich people don't have any friends.

 

We've observed a very wealthy aquaintance go through something very interesting. For whatever reasons (insecurity, pride, cynicism etc.) he doesn't have many friends. He assumes everyone is looking for something from him, and he seems to feel superior to most people due to his success/wealth. He prefers to seek out friendships with other wealthy people, and being a shrewd kind of guy seeks out those more successful than himself. As a result he seems to feel inferior to them (for the same reasons he feels superior to others) and ends up being just another follower to them. We've seen it play out so many times it's unfortunate.

 

Although, I'd happily handle having that issue to enjoy what his money can buy

[lovinglyshared 15]

I know this first hand, most recently being treated to a cross-country weekend at a famous resort, by a rich acquaintance. What did I do to deserve that? Well my host needed some friends around to feel good, and what he needs, he buys.

When it comes right down to it, the line you don't want to cross is exploitation... you exploiting him/them. Rich people buy what they want and they pamper their friends. But you never want to get into a situation when you are exploiting them for their generosity.

[jandlvaldosta 15]

No one was being played. I was asking for opinions. It has been a long time since we last posted about this, and over the last few months, things have changed for the better. He has a group of friends who are all wealthy and like to share a group of select women, one of whom my wife has become a part of. We still love each other very much, and I have met several of the other husbands and wives, and most are very nice people. It has worked into a mutually beneficial relationship for all involved. A few couples could not take it and are no longer involved. It's not for everyone. But reality is reality.

[djjwp 129]

I hope you are writing these times down. In the future they could be helpful on thinking back on what you did each time you went down and can enjoy the details. When the ex and I started swinging years ago I wrote down what we did without names. I still love reading the notes!

[Additude 457]

So is this an all's well that ends well? Is there a moral to this story? Like maybe don't read a book by it's cover?

 

Glad it is working out for you and that your enjoying the times.

[kellimc 214]

I've had a number of offers, mostly from couples on swinger sites, who have wanted to fly me to their towns all across the country and give me expensive gifts just for spending a weekend with them. I have always refused even on those rare occasions when I found the couples attractive. I swing because I like sex and I'm an exhibitionist, not because I want material possessions. If I wanted to exchange sex for valuables, I'd be an escort and take on anyone who was willing to pay.