New here and very troubled...How do I do this?

[Big Rock 173]

I'm so dang curious what exactly he will tell her about his "banging" a friend of hers in a 3 some mere days after his poor little heart got broken. I also wonder if he'll tell her he was excited to go back to "banging" his exwife and exgirlfriends .........since of course they were still desiring him and he had continued these little relationships for just that purpose. Oh and lets not forget ALL his experiences back on the farm with "3somes and gang bangs and all those dirty sweaty smelly bodies ". I wonder how long it will be before her ex and ALL his ex's all get together for one big happy free for all.........now there would be a happily ever after lol.

 

Oh the tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive...................Oh sorry I'm not writing this story....please carry on. I've got to stock up on Raid the spider is on the move.

 

 

Mrs Sav

Sorry to disappoint, but no "banging", goin on:sad:. Just an update. BTW, I don't think I said "banging". That's not a term I would use. Friend and I never went to bed, ex-wife is not an option, and I'm doing fine, thank you.

[SAVANDWIN 266]

That may be true instead you used the ever so polite word FUCKing her with his DICK.....forgive me for not noticing you eloquent use of words.

 

Rolls her eyes and now back to our regular scheduled program, Mrs Sav

[Swing*8701 885]

Repeat after me:

 

It's only a movie. It's only a movie. It's....

[Big Rock 173]

That may be true instead you used the ever so polite word FUCKing her with his DICK.....forgive me for not noticing you eloquent use of words.

 

Rolls her eyes and now back to our regular scheduled program, Mrs Sav

Thank you for the compliment, and of course I forgive you.

[Big Rock 173]

Repeat after me:

 

It's only a movie. It's only a movie. It's....

I know.....it sure seems that way , doesn't it.

[SAVANDWIN 266]

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt"

You can fool some of the people some of the time but you can't fool me at ANYTIME.

 

Mrs Sav

[prometheius 137]

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

[Big Rock 173]

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt"

You can fool some of the people some of the time but you can't fool me at ANYTIME.

 

Mrs Sav

A "holier than thou", swinger......, imagine that.

[Big Rock 173]

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Don't be dissing "his honor", the mayor.

[SAVANDWIN 266]

Holier ? Priceless....................you dug the hole and aren't smart enough to cover it up and bury it, you will continue to trip and fall into because you just can't help yourself.

 

Mrs Sav

[Big Rock 173]

Holier ? Priceless....................you dug the hole and aren't smart enough to cover it up and bury it, you will continue to trip and fall into because you just can't help yourself.

 

Mrs Sav

It was a joke, Mrs. Sav. Didn't you notice the "smilie?" I actually think you are a sweet person. Please don't be upset with me. I tried to apologize about my group sex/ gangbang/ orgy comments and I KNOW that I was being disrespectful. My only excuse was that, at the time, I was in an angry place. Sooooo......please accept my apology, and I will be good from now on, I promise!

[SAVANDWIN 266]

Good is a relative word . Honesty, Sincerity, Respect and Integrity are what you should focus on.

Some of us have an elephants memory and my opinion of you will not change until you exhibit the above traits.

Mrs Sav

[Big Rock 173]

Good is a relative word . Honesty, Sincerity, Respect and Integrity are what you should focus on.

Some of us have an elephants memory and my opinion of you will not change until you exhibit the above traits.

Mrs Sav

OK, You can't say I didn't try. I'm perfectly willing to let bygones be bygones, but I'm, in no way, answerable to you or anyone else. I do not seek your approval, just courtesy. So, carry on, dissing me , if you like, I don't mind.

[SAVANDWIN 266]

I'm sorry exactly what is it you tried? I'm confused.

The only thing worse than being played for a fool is allowing them to continue believe they have you fooled.With all due respect.........

I think perhaps a small part of your story might in fact be true but I think as people responded and tried to help you didn't like their comments and you made negative comments to them/about them. Then to cover up you eleborated on your story weaving it to suit your current situation with the people here you'd offended. By then you were in too deep and myself and others were calling your bluff so you added more and more until the final product is so outrageous , so unlikely and so full of far fetched no one could beleive you. So then you decide you've had enough of US and the board and were leaving. But low and behold you decide to write a topic sure to generate support and sympathy...Supporting our troops. There you gain a following of sorts ( most of them probably didn't read all of this post), we all want to support our troops . Then you start to feel comfy here and have to resurrect this story and eleborate further on your little fairy tale.

The sad part is this board is very accepting as are swingers in general but most of us aren't very gullible;You would have been welcomed with open arms without the farce. Instead there are many who will hesitate to give you a chance after this little drama.

Take my advice; since I'm so "sweet" let this story lie and let perhaps begones will actually become begones and you can start all over fresh.

I've said my peace and will say no more....good luck to

you.

 

Mrs Sav

[Big Rock 173]

I'm sorry exactly what is it you tried? I'm confused.

The only thing worse than being played for a fool is allowing them to continue believe they have you fooled.With all due respect.........

I think perhaps a small part of your story might in fact be true but I think as people responded and tried to help you didn't like their comments and you made negative comments to them/about them. Then to cover up you eleborated on your story weaving it to suit your current situation with the people here you'd offended. By then you were in too deep and myself and others were calling your bluff so you added more and more until the final product is so outrageous , so unlikely and so full of far fetched no one could beleive you. So then you decide you've had enough of US and the board and were leaving. But low and behold you decide to write a topic sure to generate support and sympathy...Supporting our troops. There you gain a following of sorts ( most of them probably didn't read all of this post), we all want to support our troops . Then you start to feel comfy here and have to resurrect this story and eleborate further on your little fairy tale.

The sad part is this board is very accepting as are swingers in general but most of us aren't very gullible;You would have been welcomed with open arms without the farce. Instead there are many who will hesitate to give you a chance after this little drama.

Take my advice; since I'm so "sweet" let this story lie and let perhaps begones will actually become begones and you can start all over fresh.

I've said my peace and will say no more....good luck to

you.

 

Mrs Sav

Why do I, have to prove anything? You are free to believe or disbelieve, as you choose. The dilema is that if I get my GF to come here and prove the facts, then I'm catering to the self-righteous

and "smart", posters , who have condemned me from the start. What do I owe them? Why not treat me like anyone else, instead of blanket condemnation and disrespect? I have only disrespected anyone here, once, and I apologized, multiple times for it. You who want validation, then provide your own bona fides, as well. I think that the golden rule applies, even here.

[Alura 2,766]

The dilema is that if I get my GF to come here and prove the facts, then I'm catering to the self-righteous

and "smart", posters , who have condemned me from the start.

 

Why is that, Rocky? I think those of us who asked that you bring your girlfriend to the board did so out of a sincere desire to help both of you. It became obvious early on that the fault for your drama lay with both of you.

 

If you were "condemned" at all, it was because of what you said and, personally, with the way you said it.

 

Alura

[SAVANDWIN 266]

I can and have proved my Bona Fide..............my SLS profile is accessable thru this site and contains 100's of photos of both of us as well and many Certifications attesting to MY realness.

 

Just saying lol

Mrs Sav

who read the sign on the cage "Don't feed the animals " and as is always her nature ignored it.

[Big Rock 173]

Why is that, Rocky? I think those of us who asked that you bring your girlfriend to the board did so out of a sincere desire to help both of you. It became obvious early on that the fault for your drama lay with both of you.

 

If you were "condemned" at all, it was because of what you said and, personally, with the way you said it.

 

Alura

I do agree with this, completely. I KNOW that I'm sometimes sarcastic and crude, and the angrier I am, the worse I talk. I try to apologize, but usually the damage is done, and I end up having to defend myself, when, with a little more circumspection, I wouldn't be in this type of situation, to begin with. OK, I KNOW it's my bad, but how many times do I have to say I'm sorry?

[Big Rock 173]

I can and have proved my Bona Fide..............my Swing Lifestyle profile is accessable thru this site and contains 100's of photos of both of us as well and many Certifications attesting to MY realness.

 

Just saying lol

Mrs Sav

who read the sign on the cage "Don't feed the animals " and as is always her nature ignored it.

Really? 100's of pics? You mean that you actually take pictures? This blows me away!! Actually it's pretty awesome, that you have enough faith in your lifestyle to do this.

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

Damn, I feel like I just read a Daneille Steele novel. Although having never actually read one of her books I may be giving her too much credit, or too little. Regardless, the thread was drama packed. I am sure I would have joined the fray earlier had I not been absent from the forums, but I'll catch up quickly.

 

A few points:

1. We never heard her side, just yours, so it is difficult to ascertain what is accurate and what is not.

2. You never mentioned your relationship status. Did you both agree that it exclusive and monogamous? Thinking and being are two different things. GF and fiancee are two different things. I tend to be cut and dried here. If you both agreed to monogamy, that is one thing, if not it is another. Talking about marriage and putting a ring on a finger is not the same.

3. Did she lie by omission? Yes. But depending on where you were at in your relationship I can see that. If you both agreed your were in a committed and monogamous relationship, she lied, if she did not agree, she omitted. Again vastly different. I certainly did not tell ever girl I dated everything detail about my previous sex life, in fact, if you read many post here about when to tell a prospective spouse about your previously LS, you will find many answers. Too soon and you scare people off, too late and you run the risk of hurting them. It can get complicated.

4. Did she cheat? I don't know, not enough info, not both sides of the story, it's still a gray area to me.

5. Dump her? Work it out? Only you can decide, but you were give a lot of advice both ways. It appears you are now trying to work it out. But if you cannot forgive her, if you hold this over her head waiting for an ah hah moment and use it to tell her "I knew you couldn't be trusted" then save you and your GF the time, money and pain of trying to work it out. If it is a sledge hammer you will use whenever it suits your purpose, your relationship will fail. If you have the maturity to put it behind you, then there MAY be SOME hope.

 

Why I think you have been somewhat slammed.

1. You claimed you having nothing against the lifestyle but went on the characterize facets of it in very negative terms. You characterized swingers as incapable of understanding relationship issues. You deserved to be blasted for that. Put yourself in others shoes. If someone claimed to respect Marines but then went on to describe facets negatively then you would likely be offended. If someone claimed to respect Marines, but characterized them as brain dead robots that follow orders without thought, that would be offensive. Or called them fanatically because of their pride in being a Marine, that would be offensive.

2. Your responses to some of the perceived criticisms were actually far for critical in some cases.

3. After being critical of the lifestyle, you have toyed with the thought of joining it. That can easily be seen as hypocritical in some eyes. Hypocrisy is pretending to have beliefs you do not have, or hiding your true beliefs, a form of lying. Not much different than what you accused your GF of doing.

4. Your relies at times were condescending and arrogant. You came here to ask advice, often times people do nt hear what they want too, but it is no reason to have a poor attitude towards those offering advice.

 

I wish you and your GF all the best, I hope it works out for both of you.

[Big Rock 173]

CE22, I do realize that you are only getting my side of the issues, and I'm working on getting her to open up a username here. Were we monogamous.. I thought we were.. but it was never actually discussed. I suppose that you could argue that I was making an assumption I had no right to make, but when we decided to begin to work towards getting married (no ring as yet) , I think that assumption would be justified, wouldn't you feel that way? She did lie by ommision, but I'm not sure that (given her lifestyle) that she intended a betrayal. I have her word that she was going to tell me and that this was a last "fling", But I'm not sure, and only time will tell if she means it. Considering her spotless reputation, and considering that she has always shown me tremendous love and affection, and is very remorseful,I'm going to try to make it work.

[Big Rock 173]

Damn, I feel like I just read a Daneille Steele novel. Although having never actually read one of her books I may be giving her too much credit, or too little. Regardless, the thread was drama packed. I am sure I would have joined the fray earlier had I not been absent from the forums, but I'll catch up quickly.

 

A few points:

1. We never heard her side, just yours, so it is difficult to ascertain what is accurate and what is not.

2. You never mentioned your relationship status. Did you both agree that it exclusive and monogamous? Thinking and being are two different things. GF and fiancee are two different things. I tend to be cut and dried here. If you both agreed to monogamy, that is one thing, if not it is another. Talking about marriage and putting a ring on a finger is not the same.

3. Did she lie by omission? Yes. But depending on where you were at in your relationship I can see that. If you both agreed your were in a committed and monogamous relationship, she lied, if she did not agree, she omitted. Again vastly different. I certainly did not tell ever girl I dated everything detail about my previous sex life, in fact, if you read many post here about when to tell a prospective spouse about your previously LS, you will find many answers. Too soon and you scare people off, too late and you run the risk of hurting them. It can get complicated.

4. Did she cheat? I don't know, not enough info, not both sides of the story, it's still a gray area to me.

5. Dump her? Work it out? Only you can decide, but you were give a lot of advice both ways. It appears you are now trying to work it out. But if you cannot forgive her, if you hold this over her head waiting for an ah hah moment and use it to tell her "I knew you couldn't be trusted" then save you and your GF the time, money and pain of trying to work it out. If it is a sledge hammer you will use whenever it suits your purpose, your relationship will fail. If you have the maturity to put it behind you, then there MAY be SOME hope.

 

Why I think you have been somewhat slammed.

1. You claimed you having nothing against the lifestyle but went on the characterize facets of it in very negative terms. You characterized swingers as incapable of understanding relationship issues. You deserved to be blasted for that. Put yourself in others shoes. If someone claimed to respect Marines but then went on to describe facets negatively then you would likely be offended. If someone claimed to respect Marines, but characterized them as brain dead robots that follow orders without thought, that would be offensive. Or called them fanatically because of their pride in being a Marine, that would be offensive.

2. Your responses to some of the perceived criticisms were actually far for critical in some cases.

3. After being critical of the lifestyle, you have toyed with the thought of joining it. That can easily be seen as hypocritical in some eyes. Hypocrisy is pretending to have beliefs you do not have, or hiding your true beliefs, a form of lying. Not much different than what you accused your GF of doing.

4. Your relies at times were condescending and arrogant. You came here to ask advice, often times people do nt hear what they want too, but it is no reason to have a poor attitude towards those offering advice.

 

I wish you and your GF all the best, I hope it works out for both of you.

I do see what you mean about my attitude. I really don't have anything against anyone in the lifestyle, but I do object to SOME, not all of the practices, just like I'm a former Marine, but I don't like all Marines. But this does not make me , in any way, superior to any one who LIKES THOSE PRACTICES, and I probably should have stressed this. My descriptions were offensive, and I admit it.

[Chicup 38]

Why do I, have to prove anything? You are free to believe or disbelieve, as you choose. The dilema is that if I get my GF to come here and prove the facts, then I'm catering to the self-righteous

and "smart", posters , who have condemned me from the start. What do I owe them? Why not treat me like anyone else, instead of blanket condemnation and disrespect? I have only disrespected anyone here, once, and I apologized, multiple times for it. You who want validation, then provide your own bona fides, as well. I think that the golden rule applies, even here.

 

Its not a condemnation.

 

Its just that a lot of us don't believe you, think you are making up most or all of this, and are basically trolling.

 

How did that threesome work out anyways

[Big Rock 173]

Its not a condemnation.

 

Its just that a lot of us don't believe you, think you are making up most or all of this, and are basically trolling.

 

How did that threesome work out anyways

Trolling? For what? Women? I guess I'm not understanding. No 3-some took place, of any kind. I made no plans and nothing happened. We were just talking, and nothing concrete has been decided.

[N8ture Girl 318]

Trolling? For what? Women? I guess I'm not understanding. No 3-some took place, of any kind. I made no plans and nothing happened. We were just talking, and nothing concrete has been decided.

 

What Chicup means is that there have been many instances where people have posted stories or problems that are not real in order to get various responses from those on this board. Some do this to start heated debates and create drama. I dont know why they do this but the get off by it in some way. We call those kinds of people trolls. And some are labeling you as one of them....

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

Definition, plus etymology.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_%28Internet%29

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

I do see what you mean about my attitude. I really don't have anything against anyone in the lifestyle, but I do object to SOME, not all of the practices, just like I'm a former Marine, but I don't like all Marines. But this does not make me , in any way, superior to any one who LIKES THOSE PRACTICES, and I probably should have stressed this. My descriptions were offensive, and I admit it.

 

That is a good start. But I think you are still missing the point slightly.

 

Most people in the lifestyle, certainly not all, are very tolerant of other peoples beliefs, activities and choices. We may not respect, i.e. give approval to, their choices, but we do respect their right to have them, i.e. we do not judge them.

 

While you say one thing, your descriptions and phraseology say another. Thus, people are unlikely to put much credence into your declarations to not have a problem with the LS. As swingers, our lifestyle choices are looked down on by most in the general population. Misconceptions and untruths are prevalent when outsiders talk about the lifestyle, so we tend to be more attuned to speech that belies someones stated position. For example, your previous descriptions indicated disgust, you even use the term "object to" even in your last post. There are certainly sexual activities that occur within the lifestyle that I prefer not to participate in, but I have no objection them or to others doing as they wish, more power to them. That position is somewhat a hallmark within the LS.

 

I am sure you have heard something like this, "I don't have anything against gays, I have gay friends, I work with them, but I sure as hell don't think they should be kissing each other in public, it is disgusting." You could apply the same parallel to race, religion, gender etc, but I think you see the point.

 

As I have been admonished to let this thread die and end the trolling, I will try to refrain from further comment. Good luck Rock.

[Big Rock 173]

That is a good start. But I think you are still missing the point slightly.

 

Most people in the lifestyle, certainly not all, are very tolerant of other peoples beliefs, activities and choices. We may not respect, i.e. give approval to, their choices, but we do respect their right to have them, i.e. we do not judge them.

 

While you say one thing, your descriptions and phraseology say another. Thus, people are unlikely to put much credence into your declarations to not have a problem with the LS. As swingers, our lifestyle choices are looked down on by most in the general population. Misconceptions and untruths are prevalent when outsiders talk about the lifestyle, so we tend to be more attuned to speech that belies someones stated position. For example, your previous descriptions indicated disgust, you even use the term "object to" even in your last post. There are certainly sexual activities that occur within the lifestyle that I prefer not to participate in, but I have no objection them or to others doing as they wish, more power to them. That position is somewhat a hallmark within the LS.

 

I am sure you have heard something like this, "I don't have anything against gays, I have gay friends, I work with them, but I sure as hell don't think they should be kissing each other in public, it is disgusting." You could apply the same parallel to race, religion, gender etc, but I think you see the point.

 

As I have been admonished to let this thread die and end the trolling, I will try to refrain from further comment. Good luck Rock.

OK, I can see this "troll", business, posting in other people's threads, but this is my own thread , why would I want to do that? Oh, well, never mind. I can definitely see where I've sounded judgemental, and arrogant, and will use different phraseology in the future. In my opinion, anyone can do anything, and I've no objection to their doing it. What's not for me, is not for me........BTW, I wouldn't mind if the moderators closed this thread, as it has out-lived it's purpose and evolved into something completely different. I know that there are some posters, who want to ostracize me, and who will diss everything I say, in Pm's to each other, but I will continue to try to find the help I need, regardless, and I hope that somewhere down the road, we all can live and let live...... thanks to all who have helped.