NO BLACKS - why so rude?

[nteracialcpl 15]

2inVT said:

Wait a minute. I'm not even REMOTELY in agreement with Uomo. You won't see "no blacks, no bisexuals, or no whatever race/religion/etc." in our preferences.

 

If you're suggesting that I do agree with him, you're wrong. He has a right to say what he wants or doesn't want however he chooses to word it. And I have the right to skip over any profile that gives racial preferences - which is exactly what I do. We don't refer to race in any way in our profile - because it's not a factor in either direction.

Nope, wasn't suggesting that, at all. That's why I reposted the quotes to which I was referring, and, tried to explain my context, too.

And, uomo, I'm certain that you know where I was coming from, with my "baggy pants" comment. It was to illustrate how one may use any disqualifying factor that they may choose, however, that doesn't mean that said factor has any basis in truth, and/or, reality (such as your correlations between Blacks and an increased risk of AIDS).

 

AIDS is more a behavior-based affliction, than a race-based commonality, no matter how many out-of-context citations you may make!

[Spoomonkey 418]

Most swingers are very cautious when it comes to their choices. We tend to relate to these swingers ourselves. They have families, careers, lives outside of swinging that they don't want to be shattered by AIDS.

 

These folks are white, black, Hispanic, etc. They are professional people with reasons to be careful. We aren't exactly "doing our thing" in a crack house...

 

Swinging tends to be a fairly savvy community when it comes to STDs.

 

But, you'd have to actually be a swinger to know that

 

Personally, I don't have a preference for "no blacks". However, the one time I played with a black woman, I failed miserably. The chemistry was awkward. I worry that this may have something to do with my upbringing, which was at the hands of some rather narrow minded folks... I am ashamed to admit that the residue of bigotry may actually have caused my struggle.

 

It is something that disappoints me.

 

I think I would probably shy away from putting myself in a position like that again, because I desperately wouldn't want someone to think that my problems were a reflection of them. When you "fail" in a play room, your playmate can often take that personally, and so very often it isn't them at all.

[Uomo 15]

For me...higher risk factors include how long they have been in the lifestyle....whether they ever go "bareback"....are they drug users.....and does the husband engage in Bi-play. That to me is much more telling than race.

 

I couldn't agree with you more. A comprehensive risk assessment should made on a case-by-case basis. There are plenty of white people (attractive or otherwise) I would not touch for much the same reasons you describe. We each have our comfort zones. I'm simply being completely honest about mine. I've heard time and time again on this site ... if you don't want to do something in the lifestyle (or doing it makes you uncomfortable) ... you should not do it. Sleeping with blacks makes me uncomfortable. I would not enjoy it. I don't think there is anything wrong with a person expressing their sentiments on who they are (or are not) willing to sleep with (even if it is not politically correct). I cannot fault a person for being honest. But that's just me. People are free to disagree with me (and obviously will).

[Spoomonkey 418]

Uomo said:

A comprehensive risk assessment should made on a case-by-case basis.

 

Unless, of course, they are black...

 

[Uomo 15]

Unless, of course, they are black...

 

A "comprehenisve assessment" does not preclude the use of disqualifying criterion. It just means that being an attractive "white person" is not in itself enough to land me in the sack. My position is not inconsistent.

 

Here's one last thought: If I knew for certain that a highly attractive black woman was 100 percent safe ... I would not hesitate to have sex with her. But (unfortunately) you never know these things going in ... so you can only play the statistical odds (based on credible scientific evidence) and hope for the best. My preference for whites has nothing to do with the color of a person's skin. Seriously: why should I give a shit about something as meaningless as skin color? Nobody ever died of "skin." Color isn't contagious. It lends (or takes away) nothing from the experience.

[Spoomonkey 418]

Uomo said:

My position is not inconsistent.

 

I'm afraid you are correct...

 

Your position is very, very consistent...

 

Disappointingly so...

[nteracialcpl 15]

Uomo said:

A "comprehensive assessment" does not preclude the use of disqualifying criterion. It just means that being an attractive "white person" is not in itself enough to land me in the sack. My position is not inconsistent.

 

Here's one last thought: If I knew for certain that a highly attractive black woman was 100 percent safe ... I would not hesitate to have sex with her. But (unfortunately) you never know these things going in ... so you can only play the statistical odds (based on credible scientific evidence) and hope for the best. My preference for whites has nothing to do with the color of a person's skin. Seriously: why should I give a shit about something as meaningless as skin color? Nobody ever died of "skin." Color isn't contagious. It lends (or takes away) nothing from the experience.

I just hope that no one here takes any of the comments personally. This is one of those kind of topics, and,...well, you know!

 

Uomo, I'm able to disagree, and, debate those disagreements, w/o, getting to the point of animosity. Ultimately, you, and, just about everyone else here, must, of a necessity, possess an open-mindedness, which gives us something in-common, that may override many areas in which we may find difference.

[destin-ez 15]

1st off, we're not racists. One of our playtimes was a spur of the moment meeting with a black male. We unexpectedly met him in a bar/restaurant in Florida. His personality made him very approachable and easy to warm up to. And yes, of course, we used condoms, lots of them Seeing NO BLACKS in an add OR in a conversation will definitely not get a response from us.

 

Shit, there's goes some of our "biker trash" image

 

Uomo, I do have to tell you, you are a very eloquant writer and I'm jealous. But, now that you are a prestigious lawyer, you should be I suppose. You're (I think) 1st post caught our attention. How you "burst" onto this website with your seemingly egotistical, demeaning ego was very impressive. Then it appeared you smoothed things over with everybody here who really gives a shit, with a "hey, I'm only being honest, that's what this is all about, right?".

 

If you want to draw attention to yourself, you've definitely done that. Maybe not in the way you'd hoped. But then again, maybe it IS the way you'd hoped. Regardless, at this point in time, don't call us, we'll call you.

 

Frankly, if we ALL could be as witty and charming as Spoo, well, we would all be better for it, get my drift? Spoo, when do the classes start? Sign me up

[lcjtsd 20]

How many profiles have NO SINGLE MEN, some with it repeated numerous times? Why do they write this? Most likely because they did state this politely in their ad and guess who still wrote to them? Yes!! SINGLE MEN!! How do you know that this couple didn't, at one time, have it stated politely that they do not prefer black men? You don't. And if they did, they probably got bombarded with black men writing them. So much so that it prompted them to use all caps in their profile.

 

By using all caps, does this make them racist? Maybe, maybe not. My wife won't play with a black man. That's her preference. Does this make us racists? No. We have many black friends. (Or should I have said African American to be PC?) That's why I hate the PC stuff. Makes you afraid to say anything to anyone. No matter who you are, someday, somewhere, you will say something to someone and they will be offended. That's life.

 

Next time you see a profile you don't like because of something they wrote, move on to the next and be glad we live in a country where we used to be able to say anything.

[ConfusedHubby 106]

Another interesting scenario along these lines which we've encountered...    couples reaching out to us with profiles that say "No BBC" or the likes when I (male half) am black!

 

   Typically don't even respond, but how tone deaf are people?!?

[njbm 2,728]

We have enjoyed African American swing partners, both couples and singles.
 

We find the whole BBC characterization to be racially insensitive, even if it is a somewhat positive attribute, if the person has it. It is dehumanizing and it reduces a person to a prop.

 

I find that people who do not want to play with black people are not the kind of people that we want to play with.  Even though we are white. 

Edited May 27, 2023 by njbm