Have you ever had a sexual partner that was a better lover than your spouse?

[Tantra 48]

Apples and oranges. Sex may be mind blowing with any number of people but living with and loving someone and being loved is another league altogether. My wife and I are a family - our partners in the lifestyle are playmates for fun - we do things like watch movies, talk, have dinner, play sports, and sometimes have sex. These are simply activities, fun activities.

 

Now regarding why people sometimes can't just admit that some play partner they were just with is "better" - well that's just human nature. People have emotions and insecurities all tied up with things that are sexual. This is obviously a result of growing up in a society where these negativities are absorbed by us at an early age. People don't want to cause undue worry in their mate when the encounter really doesn't matter all that much in the long run. Sure it was fun. Sure we'll do it again. But living a life together is what matters. Sure we'll screw up once or twice, but so what ... it's the totality of a life lived that makes the difference. This is what's real. This is what has real meaning.

[WesternSwing 504]

DBL D, I see what you are saying, and for us at least, we are not afraid to say we had a great time with someone else. I want Mrs. WS to get her world rocked and she wants the same for me, that is the point. But it's rocking our world in a different way.

 

Has she ever been with someone better then me? I don't know. Probably. She wasn't a virgin when I met her so it would be pretty arrogant of me to believe she hadn't had great sex, probably better sex, with someone else at some time in her life. But that obviously wasn't enough to keep those relationships together.

 

I know I've seen her cum double digit times with other men, I've heard her scream with some like she never has with me. I'm sure she is having great sex with them and she has told me unabashedly that she likes having sex with so-and-so.

 

Does all this mean she likes it less with me or longs for sex with someone other then me? No. Keeping it in reality, allot of it is because of the circumstances: the naughtiness of swinging adds a different dimension to the sex you're having at that moment. I'm sure that if either of us were to have sex on a regular basis in a less erotically charged atmosphere with the same people (like in a relationship) I'm sure the sex would not be as good as it is swinging with them.

 

It's the best sex we're having at that moment in time.

 

Same with me, other women, and her. At the end of the day she still rocks my world the best of anyone, even if it is being blinded by love that makes it that way.

 

Also, it would be pretty selfish of me to prevent her from having a great time just to protect my ego. "I'm sorry honey, I don't want you to experience this because, well... I'm insecure." Wow, I couldn't tell her that.

 

So I don't think it's really that "it's better with someone else" but more of "it's really good at the time with someone else." On a daily basis I'm still the king and she's still the queen in our lives.

 

I think the original question posed by SexyAsian is one that puts too much weight on the sexual aspect of a relationship. It's a question fueled by an insecurity about a spouse having better sex with someone else and thus leaving the relationship over a piece of ass. It's the most basic insecurity in the Lifestyle and a question that gets asked again and again in different ways on this board.

 

Sex wasn't the reason Mrs. WS and I got married. Sex is great between us, but it's everything else PLUS the great sex that makes our relationship work, and all the ones before we met not work. And it's the reason that at the end of the night we always happily return to each other.

 

Mr. WS

[Spoomonkey 418]

I keep hearing stuff like "no one ever comes close to my SO" or whatever. So why do we swing?

 

Because sex is fun...

 

And sex in a group of people is fun...

 

Sex with two women is great - giving Mrs Spoo the joy of having sex with two men is great. I get to experience women of different body types, techniques, theatrics - Mrs Spoo gets the same things.

 

But - still - "no one ever comes close to my SO."

 

Call me weird, but I don't swing for "better". In fact, I don't expect that I will ever experience that. And that's okay. At the end of every swing experience, I get the "best" - and that good enough for me

 

Let me ask you - do you swing because you feel your wife isn't the best? Are you out looking for "better"?

 

TWhat is so great about being with people who Don't rock your world?

 

Never said that I haven't had my world rocked... Good lord have I ever! There was this one time...

 

Well - actually a few times...

 

Details aren't really necessary...

 

But - just a few hours ago - I got my world rocked by Mrs Spoo - and that is a regular occurance. I am not saying that for brownie points - I am saying it because it is simply the truth. She is, by far, the best I have had. But - like I said - in my mind we are comparing two completely different things.

 

Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey 418]

We go home and even if we had a great time we still have to say something that's negative about someone we've just been with to maybe make sure that the SO doesn't get to feeling a certain way about what happened.

 

I have said negative things about playmates - because frankly some were lousy. But if someone was good, Mrs Spoo knows it - and visa versa. Good playmates are something we grin about for days on end... And when we find a couple who are BOTH good - WOW!

 

Why would you think we would have to say something negative?

 

I have been told that I was the best playmate for someone before. But I realize that means "excluding hubby". I realize that I was a good (maybe great) time - but I also know how intense love making with your soul mate can be.

 

Why is so hard to say, "Honey, I had the best time with them and can't wait to see them again! I'm glad you had a great time too!" and leave it at that?

 

That is what we do...

 

Spoomonkey

[DBL D 120]

I have said negative things about playmates - because frankly some were lousy....Why would you think we would have to say something negative?

 

You guys are (one of) the last I would suspect of this. When I said "we" I was referring to Fem D and myself.

 

I have been told that I was the best playmate for someone before. But I realize that means "excluding hubby". I realize that I was a good (maybe great) time - but I also know how intense love making with your soul mate can be.

Spoomonkey

 

 

Which is really my point. Don't we all know that our SO is the best, latest and greatest of all? So my thought was that we (us personally) seem to want to break things down like we're having roast preacher sometimes..."Well he was larger than I expected", "She didn't want to do doggie style." etc., etc. We come up with all these little negative criticisms, for no reason that I can see. I've been guilty myself, not trying to single out my wife in this.

 

Which is why I'd think that when we did meet couple that we both really enjoyed, that we could just live with that. I know I couldn't live with my partners the way I live with my wife, but I try to relish each encounter like it was my last.

 

Male D

[NandTfromCA 84]

Sorry to be a thread hog but I just had to post again.

 

Now regarding why people sometimes can't just admit that some play partner they were just with is "better" - well that's just human nature. People have emotions and insecurities all tied up with things that are sexual.

Sex is one thing, love is another, and sex with someone you love is something else. The intimacy that I have with my wife makes our sex transcend any fucking that we might do with someone else. (I’ll continue to stew on this to make sure I am being truthful with myself)

 

But maybe that’s your point. We can’t compare fucking, lovemaking, and companionship. We can’t even truly compare sex with someone you love (even when it is fucking) to sex with someone you don’t love (even if it's slow and tender).

 

Someone might be a “better” fuck, but the overall experience is still “better” with my wife since I also happen to love her. All that being said, aside from the fact that I love her, she is an awesome lay too. Rest assured, that is not insecurity or conditioning that tells me that. facelick

 

Mr.

 

(My word choice wasn’t for crudeness but to more easily illustrate a point)

[Formybubu 53]

The problem with this is using the word better. I think people use better and should be different. Because different can be better and once you experiance with your partner is when you find out if it was better. Some people do the same thing i.e. giving head. but because she has a piercing it feels like it was better but it was just different.

[sweet_tna 680]

The problem with this is using the word better. I think people use better and should be different. Because different can be better and once you experiance with your partner is when you find out if it was better. Some people do the same thing i.e. giving head. but because she has a piercing it feels like it was better but it was just different.

 

I"ve gotta' agree with you on this one, because I simply cannot discount the feelings I have for Mr. Sweet and just think about the lovemaking/sex we have in a technical fashion. We discuss our experiences and talk about what other partners have done that we've really liked. And when possible, we try to duplicate the techniques. But when it's all said and done, we're still each other's favorites.

 

=)

[Tia Vampire 167]

I've discussed my past with my SO and I have had a lover that was a way better lover than my SO. I called him my teacher or el profesor. He is not living now, God bless that man and I am glad to have known him and to have been one of his students. Plus my SO get to reap the reward. My SO is now my best lover.

[Hot Raleigh Cpl 164]

Would love to answer this poll, but I can't imagine any woman being hotter, better in the sack, or more desirable than L. Seriously.

[westchestercple 15]

Actually, I am not sure that there would ever be better sex. I have had different sex that was great but it was not BETTER. Great sex is great sex, once I had a woman who squirted I thought that was great and the sex was terrific but it was not better.

[heatherb 22]

Depending on what you mean by best lover, this question may be too complicated for a yes or no answer. Compared to my wife...Some give better blow jobs, others like anal more, etc. The feeling of my penis in a couple of other vaginas has been better than anything I have felt with my wife. That said, my wife is much more than a good sex partner, which no other woman can be. So if best lover means a few sex acts, no she isn't.

 

I read this quote on another thread about best lovers and it got me thinking about my own experiences. Until I got into the lifestyle, I never really noticed major differences in my lover's parts and abilities. However, having been in the lifestyle for a few years now, I do notice these differences much more. I have also had lovers (about 4) whose penis just felt better than anything I felt with my man. 3 were better at oral sex, but I have yet to find a better kisser. I posed this question to my man and he also has had 2 women whose vagina felt better than mine, and 3 better at giving him oral sex, etc...This didn't bother me at all, because I view sex and love as two different things. In fact, it just got me more curious.

 

If we're just talking about the physical aspect of sex and not love, please share your thoughts and experiences? Have other's felt better during penetration? Were other better at oral, etc...?

[ncmd_couple 597]

From the male perspective...

 

Yes, every woman that I have ever had sex with is different. And I greatly enjoy the variety. And as long as the woman is responsive to my actions, and doesn't just lie there, then it is great fun to explore her and learn how she likes to have sex. My wife gives the best BJ's on this earth! From my view, it is all good!

[Cpl2share 147]

If it weren't for the differences why would we swing? Different does not mean better or worse, just different. I really enjoy getting head from one of our friends because she likes me to cum in her mouth. I really like getting head from Mrs. Cpl because it feels so good even though she does not let me cum in her mouth. They are both better in a different way.

[lustylearning 705]

If we're just talking about the physical aspect of sex and not love, please share your thoughts and experiences? Have other's felt better during penetration? Were other better at oral, etc...?

 

Yes, and I'm convinced it's supposed to be that way. Sex isn't love and is full of variety. And what makes lifestyle so wonderful for an intact partnership is that it allows a couple to more fully experience their sexuality within the safety of their primary relationship.

[willyoats 324]

I thank Heatherb for getting all the way to page 4 of the original thread to find my post. That's stick-to-it-ive-ness, and I appreciate that it prompted her to add to the discussion.

 

As I get older, I look back fondly on many wonderful experiences witih many wonderful women. At the same time, it makes me increasingly fond of the time I spend making love to my wife. She gave up swinging nearly 10 years ago. I did not. I still have some form of sex, including intercourse, with at least three different women at various times during the year (one last Friday, another tomorrow, and a third probably sometime in December, about 2 months from now).

 

I love the feel of these women and the thrill of their touch. I love to bite one's nipples, to lick another's pussy, to penetrate the third, etc. Surely part of this thrill is the fact that they are all younger, between 9 and 35 years younger. Am I trying to recapturing my youth? Who knows?

 

However, at this stage in our lives I have to say that my wife is the best of them all, even though her sex drive is waning, her lubrication needs lots of Vagifem-type help, and she seldom plays with my privates to give me an erection.

 

That notwithstanding, she is the love of my (long) life. Taken as a whole, there is not another woman who can hold a candle to her.

 

The moral of the story is that "once upon a time..." there were others who might have had one (sexual) ability or another that seemed superior to my wife's. Now that we are "living happily ever after...", my priorities change amd my love deepens.

 

Among all the folks who read this board, I doubt that I am the only one who has gone through this change. And furthermore, I bet that the younger folks will feel this way as they get closer to retirement from swinging IF they really have a long, wonderful, and strong marriage.

[socolais 696]

If it weren't for the differences why would we swing? Different does not mean better or worse, just different.

 

This is an interesting thread. I haven't yet found a playtime or any single activity more intense than my wife and I can give to each other. I'm sure it will happen one of these days, but until then, I'm enjoying the search (and the wife). "Just different" is plenty good enough.

[rpu3 630]

If we're just talking about the physical aspect of sex and not love, please share your thoughts and experiences? Have other's felt better during penetration? Were other better at oral, etc...?

 

Not better. Different.

 

When things click with a partner other than my spouse, I'm not comparing them to my spouse, and I'm not ranking the person against my spouse afterwards. There's been a time or two where my partner has done a thing or two that has rocked my world and I've taken it back to my spouse. And things that work well for me with my spouse, I'll try with the other partner.

 

I'm having sex with someone else for the different, not a better/worse. I don't need a clone of the Spousal Unit. The differences are very good.

[sahajacpl 95]

Main reason we swing is for the variety of sexual partners, experiences, different ways intercourse can be and is done, and, also to experience variety of physical and mental feeling during the act of sexual intercourse. In addition, the varied and different feel of the woman's vagina to your (man's) penis and your male partner's penis when embedded in your (female's) vagina during intercourse is what makes swapping mates for intercourse so very exciting.

 

Therefore, swinging and swapping mates for play and sexual intercourse with someone other than one's spouse is not so much better as it is different and so more exciting.

[BiloxiCouple 694]

The physical act of sex I think can be easily compared to driving cars.

 

We've all driven the family car, everybody's been in it, banged it around and it smells funny. We've driven the cheap beater cars that no one takes care of and don't care how it looks and it runs forever. We would love to drive a certain exotic car (hot rod, tuner, ferrari, etc). And some cars we would be embarrassed to be seen in (VW, Pinto, Pacer, etc). Then there's is the pick up truck/SUV, goes everywhere, hauls anything and isn't initimidated, but can have high costs. And there is that one car everyone loves...Brand new. Never been in, touched, new car smell. MMMMM:facelick: Then there is the reliable daily driver, we are comfortable with that.

[LFM2 1,482]

I really wouldn't say better, but things are different. Each man has their own way of having sex and each one has brought something to the party, but not really anything better. It's all been good.

 

In all seriousness, there will never, ever be anything better than making love to my husband. Sure, we have sex and that's all good, but when we make love, there is nothing better.

[strathmore 20]

If we are talking sexual intercourse, I'd have to say that overall the wife wins going away — the result of years of experience and getting to know each others wants, needs, moves, etc. — although there are a few specific instances of specific positions with other women like one who must have been a Romanian gymnast the way she did the Asian Cowgirl, or the one who did about 7 versions of doggy for over an hour. Ah, sweet memories.

As for blowjobs, its a different story. There have been several women with some pretty incredible talents. And as others have said, they're all different.

[heatherb 22]

Thanks for sharing. I agree that love makes sex better and as a result, my man is "the best". However, if we're not talking love and we're just talking sex for sex sake, then no others were better in terms of technique, size, endurance, etc...Putting it all together, I have had a few sex partners that gave me orgasms that were just more intense than I have had with my man. I have to believe I am not alone. Maybe it's just that I can speak more honestly because he doesn't read my posts on this site whereas maybe others partners read their posts. Either way, I can't be alone here.

[PB&J 1,086]

Agreed, heatherb- OF COURSE sex with my hubby is best in terms of the whole package, because he is the the man I love and that gives the experience a whole different dynamic, but if we look at technique, etc, etc..... there have been a few encounters that have left me weak and gasping and the sheets soaked in a way that he and I alone have never managed.

[sweet_tna 680]

Thanks for sharing. I agree that love makes sex better and as a result, my man is "the best". However, if we're not talking love and we're just talking sex for sex sake, then no others were better in terms of technique, size, endurance, etc...Putting it all together, I have had a few sex partners that gave me orgasms that were just more intense than I have had with my man. I have to believe I am not alone. Maybe it's just that I can speak more honestly because he doesn't read my posts on this site whereas maybe others partners read their posts. Either way, I can't be alone here.

 

That's an interesting point you raise . . . about folks whose partners read the site and the possibility that it may color their responses here.

 

My honey does read this board, but I can guaran-damn-tee you I wouldn't say anything on this board that I wouldn't say to his face. There have only been two playmates that have even come close. IF I did encounter someone with whom sex was overall better than sex with him, he'd know it. AND he'd be happy for me, as I would be for him.

 

 

=)

[kryspete 15]

It has happened and yes we've talked about it after,,, we always share experiences, if K plays solo I want to hear all about it,,, including what her friend may have done "extra special". Same for K, but there have been situations where we might have felt a little envy for not "sizing" up.

 

Most couples would agree however, that the reason we swing is to spice up the sex,, after all, the same ham sandwich eaten day after day - gets old quick, lets hope we all get to meet great lovers who are willing to share their finest moments.....

[hamlet 53]

If we're talking about my ex-wife here, the answer not only is "Yes," but the specifics run well into double figures. But if we're talking about the woman whom I think of as my real wife, the answer is: No way--and, since I can't imagine that it could ever happen, I can't choose any of the options offered in the poll. Of course, we've both had other partners we've enjoyed lots, both before we knew each other and since we started swinging. But we've come to understand that a lot of what makes our swinging encounters exciting (apart from the obvious elements) is that, when we go to a club or meet a couple, we're making sex the main event of the evening. Conversely, when our one-on-one sex generates something less than fireworks, it's usually because it comes in the context of a busy day when we don't have all that much time for it and we're just trying to get it in (all puns intended). However, we've been on vacation together of late, and have been reminded of something that's proven true of other such vacations: when we're able to relax, ignore the clock, pour a drink, put on a porn movie, and take the time to do all the fondling we want before we move along to other activities, our sex is not only as good but better than anything that happens when we swing. And that's after 16 years together.

 

If there's any exception I should make in answering this question, it's probably on my wife's behalf. I believe her when she tells me that she's never enjoyed any other man as much as me, but when she's with a woman--well, it's not that she might enjoy her partner more, but she certainly enjoys her differently. And I can't really feel threatened or diminished by that, because I know that it's comparing apples and oranges. And, since she hasn't announced that the three of them are running away together (i.e., her, her favorite lady friend, and the strap-on), I assume that, on the whole, she'd rather be with me.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Nothing like keeping a great post like this going. I've read a few comments from people who have hinted around what "pops" into my head after reading the title of this post. I think WesternSwing and JustAskJulie come the closest but I really felt the need to voice my own opinion about this topic.

 

Granted I'm new and my experiences are few but I would be extremely naive to believe that Mrs. Diggs and I will not run into this, maybe even frequently.

 

After 12 years of being together and having lots of great sex, there is nothing that quite compares to great "NEW" sex IMO and even bad new sex is still quite fun. Intimacy is what comes from 12 years of being together and something that a fun swing night can never compete against. A couple that truly loves each other will share a level of understanding and love that goes beyond the physical yet infuses every physical act together.

 

I'm sure there are going to be guys/girls out there that will give us experiences we will never forget. Swinging is just like a relationship in the fact that it requires communication and disclosure, lol, trust, honesty and respect for it to continue to be an enhancement to your relationship. When you lose all that then to me it's only a matter of time before you lose the reasons you got into the lifestyle to begin with and it becomes just about the sex and not an experience to deepen your relationship with the one person you have truly given your life too.

 

Call me delusional, misguided or silly but this is a learning experience and therefore you should expect that you will learn something from it. Share it, enjoy it but always remember that once you start hiding things and blurring the lines, you have to ask yourself if you are still in it for "both" of you or just yourself?

 

Most posts I see on the swinger boards like SLS all state things like this is about enhancing a couples relationship. Keeping things from your SO seems like a growing wedge that will eventually poison the relationship to me. Sometimes growing in a relationship isn't as comfortable as we would like but in the end, I'd choose growth over stagnation.

 

Too deep?

 

Have Fun !!!

[oldrrob 20]

When the wife and I were in the LS, I once dipped my toe in these waters, talking about my enjoyment with a partner, and pulled back a frost bitten stub. We soon evolved into mfm, as I've seen some couples on here find fun and comfort in. I never felt she was being selfish, it was just the way she felt about things. And it worked for us. I loved hearing about every enjoyment she had, everything she liked about her experiences with the guys we shared her with. I never felt intimidated about being 'bested'. It was all about her and I, and especially her.

[tnt69couple 64]

Tiffany has had a few that was very good. She would say that they are not better. But I believe if there was not the emotional tie between us that I would say she would feel differently. This one guy's cock is long not very thick. Never gets really hard. So he can bend it while fucking her to also rub her clit. He really knows how to use his talent. He can also guide it so it hits just the right spot and she makes some great noise. He was a college wrestler so he puts her in several positions that she just loves. I have used some of them and Tiffany responds really well. So I believe that yes there as far as technical aspects go Tiffany has had several men that are better than I am. But it does not bother me at all. She has fun and loves playing with different guys. As long as we have that emotional bond the rest does not matter.

[Just Passing By 140]

First to go out on a limb with a preliminary presumption. Most couples inclined to swinging type activities , will already have highly developed sex life with the two of themselves. A new playmate would be comparing against the cumulative experiences with the spouse (well that's how I'm seeing the question, and and feeling about the matter).

 

New to you, and different is always interesting, and usually good for its own sake. A new playmate might do something you haven't tried before, do something particularly well, or physically the respective parts (not just genitals) might fit together in a different way. But for a new or occasional partner to even be compared on same page with spouse, either the new person is a world class lover, or the home situation is in need of serious remedial attention.

[iloveoralsex 16]

My ex-wife was always bragging on this one lover of hers. She was always telling me how very much better he was than any other guy she had ever been with...I mean she was seeing him a few times a week and never shut up about him. I asked how was he so incredible and she finally said "Why don't you spend a night with him and see yourself?" She told me that he wouldn't suck me but he said if I would do anything he told me to that I could spend the night servicing him.

 

Well, after a bit of her coercing me, I agreed. He was a black man that was built like a body builder. He had 10" and it was thick too! In the first minute I was at his house, I felt like I was his servant and lucky to be that! As soon as I was inside he had me on my knees before he even closed the door. I was amazed that I really didn't care who went by and saw me...I was mesmerized by this tall obviously superior man. It didn't take me 5 minutes to see why my wife was so taken by this hunk of manhood! I did everything he told me to do without hesitation! It was amazing! Y'all probably don't want to hear the whole story, but I became a slut for this man in no time! It was like His pheromones made me "ad-dick-ted" to him!

 

After that night both my wife and I were at his beck and call. I even was told to take off my clothes outside his door and put on a sheer apron before I was allowed to enter and I served his guests in any way they requested me too. He moved away and took my wife with him...(I missed him more)!!

[CXXC 435]

I certainly hope that it happens for both of us! After all, how do we learn to better ourselves if the bar never moves?

 

I will always be the best husband Mrs. CXXC will ever have. She is and will be the best wife I will ever have. That being said, sex is something that can become flat unless the technique is tweaked a bit.

 

She has boy/girl toys that do things better than I do. She or they teach me what they do and we move on from there!

 

It is not about being better than anyone. It is all about pleasing each other to the fullest!!! That is our goal!

[ACuriousDuo 46]

We've never swung! We are in the "learn, read, research, and communicate" phase LOL. So, it's hard to say what I'd do in the situation but, I would have to say that I would let her know... but in a way that promotes positive reinforcement to our sex life. One purpose of swinging is to find new ways to please the person you love, right? I would love to hear her tell me, "Do it this way, you know like did it to me!" I aim to please. My wife does too so I'm sure she'd reciprocate. Great question.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,019]

We've never swung! We are in the "learn, read, research, and communicate" phase LOL. So, it's hard to say what I'd do in the situation but, I would have to say that I would let her know... but in a way that promotes positive reinforcement to our sex life. One purpose of swinging is to find new ways to please the person you love, right? I would love to hear her tell me, "Do it this way, you know like did it to me!" I aim to please. My wife does too so I'm sure she'd reciprocate. Great question.

I do not ever let the question of whose sex is above par or below par come into my mind. I tend to say to my wife something like, "I really enjoy . She's fun." I often say to my wife, "you're the best lover in the world." Would never say it to anyone else.

 

I always like to welcome new members to The Swingersboard. I'm pleased you found us. Visit the Welcome New Members! (aka Introductions) - The Swingers Board forum and tell us something about yourselves.

 

 

 

~Michael

[dave110256 21]

I've NEVER had sex with a woman as good as my wife. We both admit that's why we married each other. We've been together for 6 years now and finally have gotten to know each other and get along most of the time.....but the sex is always as good as the first time!

[mwc_mich 16]

I don't think I've ever met the perfect lover yet, but I'm still looking. That being said I think everyone brings something unique. I've had some amazing lovers that were better in some aspect that my husband but its helped us both together. I've learned things that work for me and I can tech them to him and he does the same. The variety is part of the fun of the lifestyle and not sharing that is kind of missing the point.

[amid 91]

After 20 years marriage my wife fits... like that comfortable leather jacket that's broke in just right. It just feels like it belongs on you. She still makes me cum quicker and easier than anyone so she must be doing something right. Orally her talents are unequaled, she performs deepthroat effortlessly. The only rub, if there is one is that she can't get off from penetration. I've encouraged her to try Kegel's to see if that helps and other things like masturbating to no avail. Physiologically I guess she just can't get the stimulation from penetration. She loves receiving oral to climax, but that's the only way she can cum. Even that though brings on one really strong climax then that's it. Having a partner that can climax from penetration and or multiple times is always a real treat for me. But then so is a big piece of triple chocolate cake.. man it's great when you have it and think about it later but ya wouldn't want to give up a healthy diet to eat Triple Chocolate Cake everyday!

 

ps I think if she reads this I'll be ok.

[couplers 4,178]

Hi, Petra again. It has not happened for me, hubby has been by far the best of those (three men, one woman) I've been with. Strictly from the orgasm standpoint Clair is close, but not quite enough. My bf is really good, and it is exciting, but not in the same league. The third guy, who I don't even like to talk about, was a total dud.

 

Hubby has told me about other girls that he has been with, both before and after he met me, that have given him really intense sexual experiences. It makes me jealous, but it also turns me on and it makes me a more competitive sex partner for him. I actually like to talk about how good his other experiences were while we're having sex, and for some reason particularly while he licks my clit. If I did have a sex partner that is better than David, I would tell him and I'm certain it would be a welcomed conversation.

[Pensacolapair 394]

For us, it's an easy 'No..and never will'.

 

Simply put, those we have sex with in the Lifestyle represent different - as in a change of pace. That's why we swing! Their technique or 'equipment' may be different, or they might toss in something new - but it will always be missing the race-winning element: the intense emotional connection that we have with each other. We can have fantastic, mind-blowing, near-nirvana-like sex with someone else and afterwards eclipse it with each other.

 

I know, I know..I'm just a S.N.A.G, but it's worked for us 'lo these many years.

 

M

[LagniappeDC 313]

I'm not sure that I've ever given this question much thought, because it's the complete package of life experiences - the ups AND downs - that make us such great lovers for each other. There is an emotional side that just can't be duplicated with folks you meet in the lifestyle, even those you've bonded with over time.

[xxxboxy 139]

My wife is the best sexual partner I've ever had. It's a total package kind of thing. I've had partners that were better at a technical aspect, such as deepthroating, but none that are better overall. I'm sure that there's an emotional/commitment component to this in addition to the technical ability part.

[strathmore 20]

My wife is the best sexual partner I've ever had. It's a total package kind of thing. I've had partners that were better at a technical aspect, such as deepthroating, but none that are better overall. I'm sure that there's an emotional/commitment component to this in addition to the technical ability part.

 

DITTO. Some better at specific bits... BUT wife best overall package... and knows where all the buttons are.

[Pleasure King 16]

For us, it's an easy 'No..and never will'.

 

Simply put, those we have sex with in the Lifestyle represent different - as in a change of pace. That's why we swing! Their technique or 'equipment' may be different, or they might toss in something new - but it will always be missing the race-winning element: the intense emotional connection that we have with each other. We can have fantastic, mind-blowing, near-nirvana-like sex with someone else and afterwards eclipse it with each other.

 

I know, I know..I'm just a S.N.A.G, but it's worked for us 'lo these many years.

 

M

 

I love that explanation. Makes perfect sense to me.

[StevieBlueEyes 48]

My wife is the best sexual partner I've ever had. It's a total package kind of thing. I've had partners that were better at a technical aspect, such as deepthroating, but none that are better overall. I'm sure that there's an emotional/commitment component to this in addition to the technical ability part.

 

+1

 

It's not even close. She and I are magic together.

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

If you had something done to you sexually by the other wife or husband of a couple, do you tell you SO that they did something sooo good that it was the best ever not even with you SO. If you do tell your SO, how do you bring it up or tell your SO?? I am interested in hearing from both sides on this issue.

 

Thanks everyone!

 

Better lover or better sexual experience? Two different things in my mind. I only have one lover and no one is better than her. Lover, in my mind, includes heart, mind and soul as well as the body. Being a lover is her domain alone.

 

Sexual experiences? Yes, we have both had someone that did something better than we had done for each other. Usually it is something specific, like a technique or position.

 

Yes, we do talk about it. The first time she said something, I think it just sort of came out because of enthusiasm, she had been a bit apprehensive of how I would react. She was surprised I was not upset, but curious as to what/how he did it.

 

The first time it happened for me I said something and she was a bit hurt, and she was surprised by that, as was I. But now it is not an issue. We both understand there will be times that someone is exceptional at something. We just treat it as a learning experience.

 

It is not a big deal really, we change over time. Something I might have tried 10 years ago, that she did not enjoy then, she really likes now. We continue to evolve and our likes and dislikes change as we grow.

 

I think it has been a great learning experience as we explore new things and both improve at giving the other pleasure. I would estimate that about 80% of the time that our previous "best sexual experience" has been improved on, it was by each other, not someone else. So while this weekend someone may rock our world better than previously done, we both expect that it won't be that way for long. That has been one of the best unforeseen benefits of swinging, we continually raise the bar sexually for each other.

[M1F2KTJ 470]

I have had indescribable sex with someone who wasn't my wife. In front of her. I don't think she noticed. I think she was having a special experience of her own. I would never tell my wife about it out of respect for her and our marriage.

[Cajun2Step 65]

I certainly hope that it happens for both of us! After all, how do we learn to better ourselves if the bar never moves?

 

Its not about being better than anyone. Its all aobut pleasing each other to the fullest!!! That is our goal!

 

Really liked this post which explains our philosophy. We have both had sex partners that were extremely good at play.

 

Recently on a picnic table LadyC2S had an awesome 5 orgasm session of sex. Not better sexual partner but awesome sex. A couple of years ago in Yuma C2S had the best BJ ever experienced. Neither of these sessions made us less that the best LOVER either of us has every had the pleasure of experiencing.

 

But as CXXC stated, "how do we learn to better ourselves if the bar never moves?"

[wifes_toy 53]

I think best sex ever is more of a top 5 list. As we get older and more experienced some "events" drop off, some don't. I also think some are just not comparable. An example for us is how can you compare that first time on our wedding night when we were FINALLY alone to our first time in a hotel at a take over with the door open for and hours worth of position swapping including a couple of positions that surprised the hell out of me that she could do? The two events were completely different but both could rank best sex ever.

 

As for some thing some other partner could do that is better? Well in our case certain physical differences in hight and build make some positions impossible for us. Part of swinging is finding some one to fill those little gaps in the sexual menu. "I REALLY liked that!" is expected. It's different, it is going to be great. The trick is to let her know I had a good time but not to dwell on it.

[Coupleerotic22 1,417]

Looking back at this poll I have an observation.

 

As of this post there are 289 votes cast. At this point it is a dead split

 

145 (50.9%)would NEVER discuss a playmate being better.

144 (49.1%) would discuss it.

 

As I stated when I voted, not only do we discuss it if a partner is better at something, but we actually hope they are and look forward to discussing it. It one way that we learn about new things we have not tried/experienced with each other. I must admit that it seldom happens, much to our dismay, but we enjoy it when it does.

 

What REALLY surprises me is this. Two pillars of the swing community are communication and trust. Additionally, it is almost universally agreed that keeping jealousy at bay is key.

 

So what does this poll say about the differences in what we say and how we act.

 

If we are not discussing the situation when a play partner is better at some aspect of sex than our SO, then are we REALLY communicating openly, honestly and completely?

 

If we are not, because we fear it will make our partner jealous, what does that say about our trust in our partner?

 

If we are not discussing it because we KNOW it will make our partner jealous, what does that say about our partners trust in us?

 

Are just over half of us not practicing what we preach? Or am missing something else?