BBW sex or not?

[SuAndBud 21]

2inVt,

 

Get real.

 

Read the posts. You've obviously got a brain which is capable of processing thoughts and opinions. Use it and read them again.

 

Non BBW's and BHM's were being attacked mercilessly at all levels for not being in the fat club.

 

We fitties/thinnies don't care what you think of us privately, but it's time we turned political correctness on it's head and say you've attacked us openly for far too long. We don't care if you don't fancy us because we certainly don't fancy you (and by the way, you do really fancy us, don't you? We know you do. Who wouldn't. That petite little girl at the WalMart checkout, maybe?).

 

Your ground is so soft. Your foundations so weak.

 

We genuinely don't care to be snuggled up with you at all.

 

Listen to the Surgeon General's advice and get some excercise.

 

Maybe donate 10% of what you "normally" eat in a week to Oxfam to help feed someone who's actually hungry.

 

Just a thought.

[fitcouple 25]

I think we need to remember the thread topic here. prior to the flame wars, the question was "is there a place for a BBW in swinging". There sure is someone for everyone in life.

 

It's gets rather personal when insults are made to the uninterested side. That's what hurts.

 

Chicup - You can't offer the idea of getting into shape to anyone in this day and age of "no personal responsibility". Its never ones fault for anything anymore.

 

2invt - You mention that you don't care either way if your up or down 5lbs, that's great for you. But I know many, many folks who have lost 10lbs and gained ten fold the confidence, and that confidence was the fuel to help them lose more weight. What ever works for you though, just don't insult me if I'm looking for something else.

 

Shelly - Not all barbies are held captive by guys or treated poorly. My wife is also very fit, model fitness wear and competes in figure comps. She is a very strong person, who has accomplished more than many and has a very successful career. You can only be controlled if you let it. Your comments generalized fit women and insult them.

[2inVT 122]

2inVt,

 

Get real.

 

Read the posts. You've obviously got a brain which is capable of processing thoughts and opinions. Use it and read them again.

 

I have read the posts. I would suggest you do so yourself.

 

Non BBW's and BHM's were being attacked mercilessly at all levels for not being in the fat club.

We fitties/thinnies don't care what you think of us privately, but it's time we turned political correctness on it's head and say you've attacked us openly for far too long.

 

No, I haven't attacked any non-BBWs or non-BHMs. I have not posted in support of anyone doing so.

 

We don't care if you don't fancy us because we certainly don't fancy you (and by the way, you do really fancy us, don't you? We know you do. Who wouldn't. That petite little girl at the WalMart checkout, maybe?).

 

Keep telling yourself that. It's always good to have a healthy ego. I don't know you, don't expect to ever meet you, realize that I do not fit your preferences - and judging from your comments here, it's unlikely that you fit my preferences. You strike out in the attitude category, and you're far to apt to launch into personal insults.

 

Your ground is so soft. Your foundations so weak.

 

I have no idea what this means.

 

We genuinely don't care to be snuggled up with you at all.

 

I don't believe I offered you that option. I tend to be pretty selective.

 

Listen to the Surgeon General's advice and get some excercise.

 

Maybe donate 10% of what you "normally" eat in a week to Oxfam to help feed someone who's actually hungry.

 

Just a thought.

 

Thanks for your concern. Since you don't know me at all, there's no reason you'd have any idea what exercise I get or don't get, or what food I normally eat or don't eat in a week.

 

And since I don't really give a fuck what you think of me, I won't enlighten you there.

 

You'll notice I've not stooped to insultingly speculating on your habits or lifestyle. It's too bad that you apparently can't participate in a discussion without getting personal.

[2inVT 122]

2invt - You mention that you don't care either way if your up or down 5lbs, thats great for you. But I know many, many folks who have lost 10lbs and gained ten fold the confidence, and that confidence was the fuel to help them lose more weight. What ever works for you though, just don't insult me if I'm looking for something else.

 

Where did I insult you?

 

Whatever gives people confidence, I'm all for it.

 

It's just not reasonable to say that every person would be extremely unhappy if they gained 5 pounds. It's obvious that some would - including the one who posted that comment - and I only know that because they said so. What I said was that MY self-esteem was not based on that. Speaking only for myself. Doesn't make my position better or worse than theirs, only different.

[2inVT 122]

Some of you seem to be reading things into my posts that I am not saying.

 

I fully support the right of each person to have preferences and to state them. I don't care whether you prefer fat people, thin people, tall people, or short green Martians with 5 breasts.

 

What I do not support is the idea that people need to put down what they DON'T prefer. And I've seen that here on BOTH sides of the scale, so to speak.

 

Think of it this way.

 

I like pistachio ice cream. You like strawberry.

 

I could say, "I love pistachio ice cream, it's so creamy and smooth, with lovely green pistachio nuts, FAR, FAR, BETTER than that nasty strawberry ice cream with those grainy frozen strawberries cluttering it up, ptui. Strawberry ice cream should not even be allowed in the freezer, as everyone knows how disgusting it is."

 

Or, I could just say, "I love pistachio ice cream."

[Dynamar 246]

Think of it this way.

 

I like pistachio ice cream. You like strawberry.

 

I could say, "I love pistachio ice cream, it's so creamy and smooth, with lovely green pistachio nuts, FAR, FAR, BETTER than that nasty strawberry ice cream with those grainy frozen strawberries cluttering it up, ptui. Strawberry ice cream should not even be allowed in the freezer, as everyone knows how disgusting it is."

 

Or, I could just say, "I love pistachio ice cream."

Most excellent analogy 2inVT.

 

The whole of how this thread has turned makes me sick.

[ShellyM 1]

I think that we need to end it at this. Pretty much everyone who has an opinion has made their opinions known, myself chiefly. Now, we are taking this to a level where people new to swinging may be completely turned away from the lifestyle. So, I think that as adults we should just walk away and say "hey, you have every right to your opinion, and I have a right to mine". Come on guys, we are all pretty close on here. I know that you have given me invaluable advice, and I like every one of you, including BUD!! Yes Bud, I think you are great. AND, thank you for allowing me the right to debate my opinion, btw. So, I think it is time for us all to tally up our differences and become buddies again lol.

[fitcouple 25]

2inVT, my apologies, I didn't mean you personally. Just in general.

[2inVT 122]

No problem, fitcouple. It wasn't my intention to insult anyone, either.

 

No harm, no foul.

[EvilMJ 65]

Comments like this:

 

Listen to the Surgeon General's advice and get some excercise.

 

Maybe donate 10% of what you "normally" eat in a week to Oxfam to help feed someone who's actually hungry.]

 

Are rude, childish and uncalled for. I understand you feel the need to make your point but please refrain from this kind of personal attack.

[snniemm 15]

I really prefer BBW, and it really surprises the Mrs. when she sees me looking at pictures of a thinner woman. That's not to say we wouldn't play with skinny couples, just that visually they aren't the first ones that would catch our eye in a crowded room.

[SuAndBud 21]

2inVT and EvilM,

 

Please stop with the cherrypicking from our posts in order to try and prove some point. If you insist on quoting, then quote the entire post so that context is maintained.

 

We do not attack fatties or thinnies per se.

 

Our only interest on this thread is due to the larger boardmembers believing (maybe through strength of numbers and guranteed support, thereon) that they can attack with relative impunity the smaller board member's characters, mentality, capacity to be warm and intelligent and friendly - ergo our entire raison d'etre.

 

Maybe the time is overdue for people like us to say enough is enough.

 

We like fat people. We work and play and socialise and laugh and cry and discuss politics and humour and world events with fat people.

 

Please feel free to substitute the word cuddly for fat (or whatever you prefer).

 

We just don't feel attracted sexually towards you (with some exceptions, as would probably apply vice-versa).

 

Overweight/fat/cuddly (just how does One describe without causing offence?) swingers appear to have set up some Masonic-styled private club where you exchange amusing anecdotes about "how shallow, self-absorbed, thick, stupid, worthless" were your Barbie & Ken encounters.

 

We've never yet seen a post that did likewise in reverse and if you can't see that, then you truly are blinkered.

 

It's political correctness gone mad, whereby a group of, say, Muslims could hold a Muslin-only meeting with impunity, yet if a group of non-Muslims dared set up a meeting on the same evening and stipulate that Muslims weren't invited, then a politically correctness hell would ensue.

[ShellyM 1]

Overweight/fat/cuddly (just how does One describe without causing offence?)

 

Just call me big boneded.

[SuAndBud 21]

LOL.

 

But when they dig up our remains in a thousand years from now, our skeletons will look the same.

[Oralist 15]

I LOVE BBWs... actually skinny women turn me off

Love my ladies with curves and MORE

LICKS

Mark

[EvilMJ 65]

Suandbub,

 

I'm sorry if you think we are cherry picking your posts, but it wouldn't matter who made the comments. There are certain rules of behavior on the board.

 

If you had read my posts you would have seen over and over again that I support your position to have a preferance to only want to be play with a certain body type. I don't see anything wrong with that or advertising that.

 

My only beef was people generalizing a group of people, fat or thin.

 

I just want to ensure that we keep things civil, there are several times that this thread has gotten ugly from both sides.

[2inVT 122]

Suandbud,

 

I did not cherry-pick your posts. Your last one I quoted in its entirety, with my responses interspersed.

 

In any context whatsoever, quite a few of your comments to me were rude, uncalled for, and pretty much the opposite of warm and friendly.

 

That's fine. Just as we are all entitled to our own preferences in swinging, you certainly don't have to like me, and you don't have to even be polite to me, if that's the way you want to come across here.

[ShellyM 1]

LOL.

 

But when they dig up our remains in a thousand years from now, our skeletons will look the same.

 

Now, thats true. In the end, you and I are the same! You'll probably be in a nicer coffin though, cause I'm too cheap to pay money for a nice one....or at least Jay is lol.

[hoistsail 18]

I have found that BBW's are more passionate and they have a higher sex drive than the average Barbie. I like Barbies but find that if one ignores the BBWs then you are missing much of the fun.

 

I personally am fit and my wife is just a little overweight but not BBW. For me the fit ones can get in more posistions, I can get in deeper and she feels sexier to me. But I have found it is much more fun to enjoy the one you are with than complain.

 

Have fun!!!

[SuAndBud 21]

hoistsail,

 

Please get real.

 

This is not aimed at you in particular, it's aimed at the board (and maybe even the whole world).

 

You can no more say that BBW's are more "passionate" (if it's so in your experience, then we must surmise that your experience is limited - no offence intended) than you can say red-heads have a fiery temper. It's "black guys have big dicks and a bigger built girl will suck you in and blow you out in bubbles and all guys would be as tall as each other if their penis was on their head - could be interesting (lol)" territory.

 

Define pasionate, for one - Some guys or girls kiss so hard it hurts, for instance, passione to them = pain for you. Rake your tongue (passionately) over a girl or guy with sensitive bits and it's sometimes painfull, whilst others need such to feel stimulated.

 

It's an old wive's tale. Don't perpetuate it.

 

We could say that fit people have more stamina (yer, right!) Firstly, when it comes to doing fit things (like running marathons) it's probably true. But secondly, when it comes to sex and passion and intimacy being "fit" is no advantage at all. It's desire and fun and humour and your word "passion" that counts in the bedroom olympics.

[prettylady 221]

Ok first off, I went back and reread my posts. I don't think I was out of line with anything I wrote or thought. Although that quote thing can make a comment take on a whole new meaning if you want it too.

 

Anyway I was shocked to see how bad this thread crashed. Ok maybe not that shocked.

 

I want to take a moment to say this. I do not agree that people should rethink their grocery list. I am a sucker for chocolate sandwich spead, who the hell am I to say that you should not buy your treat.

I do not think that "fat" people are disqusting. I find people who don't take care of themselves disgusting.

 

I don't believe overweight people are unfit. Hell my sister is concidered overwieght and she has great endurance and good eating habits.

 

Although fast food resturants and junk food has caused a raise in childhood obesity, I don't beleive that it is only lack of will power that causes it.

If the health organizations say obesity is a desease who the hell are we to make comments stating that obesity is caused from poor eating habits and lazy asses. It is not true. genetics does have something to do with it.

 

Now I am going to tell you something about myself that some may find offencive but I am trying to prove the point that there is more to overweight issues then the accused poor health care of oneself.

 

When I was preggers with my baby girl I craved Big Macs. I ate a big mac every day from 6 months on.

heres the part where some of you may take offence. I lost all but 5 lbs when I gave birth. Another woman could have had the same issue with cravings and spend the rest of her young life fighting off those Big Macs.

 

I do believe Genetics has alot to do with wieght issues. People who are prone to being larger have to fight like hell to maintain the healthy body wieght as set down by the World Health Organization.

 

It is way to easy for naturally thin people to give bigger people a finger wagging because it is so easy for us.

You know many of us, (prettylady holds her head in shame as she makes this statement) figure what the hell, get into the gym, eat right, and problem solved.

NOT COOL ladies and gentlmen. I have learnt alot in my Fitness and Health Program I am taking in college. One being that that statement I made just now is chocked full of shit. It is not that easy for everyone.

 

Westernswing, I may have made a kneejerk reaction to comments you made. But hear me out please. I have been refered to as a Barbie based solely on my size. I have been in the change room and heard a couple of girls teasing me. Making strange comments about me. I have a tiny mole on my belly. My Dad called it a beep button. He pushes it I say beep. It was a flaw that they attacked. They joked about my workout on the heavy bag. "just who does she think she is...Michelle Tyson" hee hee hee. No, I don't think I am Michelle Tyson. I am Prettylady, this years World Kickboxing Champion and just who the hell are you?

 

It hurt to know that because I work out and am thin, I was the target for these girls. Funny thing is I was jealous of the one girls voice and the other girl had the most beautiful red hair.

 

I do get offened by Barbie comments, probably to easily.

But at the risk of contradicting myself. I am sorry but I refuse to appologise for any comments I made. I made them, I always stand by what I say, I may not word it well but it is how I think.

 

I will appologize if any comments I made hurt anyone directly, if I attacked anyone directly although I don't think I did.

Please let me know if I did.

 

Damn this is long, I don't usually like to get argumentative. I like to like people and I like them to like me back.

 

Your friend,

Prettylady

[northindycpl 32]

Seems that size is so irrelevant to me. It is totally what is on the inside that counts.

 

Attitude is what is key.

[Cloud of Love 16]

Interesting thread.

 

Perspective of this board newbie: I like women. I LOVE women. I have been very attracted to thin women, average women, heavy women. Personality, warmth, intellect, a sexy attitude, a pretty face, and sensitive breasts are more important to me than a model-like perfect HWP body.

 

Now, I need to lose 50 pounds myself. I can understand both sides of the issue, frankly...if you don't find BBW attractive, that's cool....and if you do (like I do), that's cool, too. No need to have bad feeling about it either way.

[prettylady 221]

2inVT said:

Prettylady makes some good points - though is it necessary to say that excessively overweight people disgust you? It works both ways. You wouldn't like it if someone said that overly muscled gym rats disgust them. ("Gym rat" is your wording, btw.)

 

Here is my original paragraph in its entirety

 

Prettylady said:

The only time I am bothered by someone with weight is when it is excessive. You know they are not healthy. Sometimes I am concerned by their weight, sometimes I am disgusted. Depends on how well people take care of themselves. Same goes for extremely skinny girls. We have one at the gym now who is giving off a terrible smell because she is anorexic.

 

I have started another thread about how people misquote others and how it turns a normally nice person (me) into a shit head.

Make sure if you quote you have the complete quote.

 

It is one thing to misunderstand a quote it is something completely different to adjust someones words to make your point more valid.

[havefuninsun 122]

Prettylady,

 

You are anything BUT a shithead. I enjoy reading your posts. You are definitely someone who has a wonderful attitude and spirit about herself.

 

No need to apologize.

 

People are attracted to all sorts of people. There is no room for stereotypes in this world. (I've been told since I'm native american, I can't drink. Uhm. OK.).

 

I was married to a very overweight person, and found myself NOT attracted to him physically. Sorry, but it's a fact. Of course, him being a total asshole didn't help the situation either.

 

We (Mr. Fun and I) are attracted to good attitudes, fun people. And not typically the BBW or the BHW (or whatever the stupid acronym is) size folks. No offense intended, just the fact.

 

Prettylady's friend,

Ms. Fun

[2inVT 122]

Oh for pete's sake.

 

prettylady, I guess I am just not getting how what you posted differs from what I commented on.

 

You said that sometimes you are concerned by their excessive weight, sometimes you are "disgusted."

 

If that's not what you meant, then what DID you mean? I can only go by what you type.

[prettylady 221]

I think you knew exactly what I meant.

 

I am disgusted when weight is excessive in either direction. My post is perfectly clear.

[Thrax 384]

2inVT, I think prettylady is upset that you omitted the word "some" that she used in her original post.

 

From her original post I assumed PL is disgusted with some people who are overweight, as she stated, depending on how well people take care of themselves. In your response, you mentioned, "Prettylady makes some good points - though is it necessary to say that excessively overweight people disgust you?"

 

I'm guessing here, but it seems to me, from her statement, that not all excessively overweight people disgust her. However, when you responded, you didn't make note of the distinction she made. Whether you agree with any of her statements regarding this issue, it appears to me, IMHO, that you did change her statement to some degree.

 

On this Board I have called two people out about making sweeping generalizations concerning single males and their behavior. And, unfortunately, I have made a couple of sweeping generalizations on other topics while typing posts and I've been notified of my transgressions. I've also been questioned concerning specific terms I've used -- in innocence -- which others have interpreted in a negative way, while I think the same term is neutral, or has a different definition. Sometimes I have been in the wrong, sometimes my posts have been misinterpreted. I think a lot of the misunderstandings happen when we're trying to make a point but don't proofread our posts to the nth degree.

 

BBWs, singles as swingers, bi-males, condom/no condom, and several other topics are hot-button issues here. I appreciate your concerns, and prettylady's, but I think it's best that we all look at posts and make sure we know a poster's intent before responding. And that might mean politely questioning a poster to find out if what they actually typed was what they actually meant.

 

Since we on the Board are relying on just typed words (and the occasional smilie) but can't see the body language or hear the tone of voice of other posters, we're all interpreting others' messages at a disadvantage. I'd encourage everybody to take a breath and re-read posts before you reply. Sometimes a slight delay and a re-read can help you find things in a message that you did not notice before.

 

Well, that's my 2 cents (about 2.25 cents Canadian -- that's getting too close for comfort ).

 

Thrax

[prettylady 221]

Thanks Thrax,

 

You managed to calm me down on this issue. I agree, I have been quick to jump sometimes and perhaps this is one of those times.

The issue I had was that I mentioned that extremely skinny girls bother me as well. or to use my words correctly I do find rail thin to be "disgusting". That is what was left out which made, to me anyway, it look like I find excessively overweight people disgusting, and only these people disgusting.

 

As a small woman, larger set types, weather slightly bigger or excessively bigger could be VERY offended by that statement.

 

Touchy subject should have just steered clear.

 

[MoonLightKiss 28]

Prettylady, you are not a shithead or any other word meaning shithead. You are, if anything, polite even to those who on occasion need to be told "to shove it." I found nothing wrong with your post at all. In fact, I quite agree.

 

I think everyone here can agree that what each of us prefers, is just that a preference. Some people are not attracted to smokers. Some are attracted to men who have towels placed discreetly over various body parts, and others (like me) wish those men would just drop the towel. Hell, even some of us here are attracted to furry purple monkeys.

 

I would be considered overweight, but I do not consider myself to be disgusting which is the distinction prettylady was trying to make. I am sorry, none of you here can say you haven't been to walmart, seen someone who was so excessively obese and not only that, it was apparant they also lacked basic hygeine and boob support. To me that is disgusting. Not because of their weight alone, but maybe their overall appearance.

 

I do believe it is the character of a person and their fun level that attracts me more than anything. But looks do play a part. Maybe some of us are willing to overlook the visual appearance in an effort to get to know someone, and then find out that we are attracted, but not just on a physical level. Some of us base our decisions to play on looks alone. Guess what? WHO CARES? Each of us has rejected someone, and each of us has been rejected. Does the why of the matter really mean that much? Its simple. If you don't wanna play, don't. If you do, do. But quit sweating the small crap people. None of us here is perfect last time I checked.

[Thrax 384]

MoonLightKiss said:

Some are attracted to men who have towels placed discreetly over various body parts, and others (like me) wish those men would just drop the towel.

I'm not self-centered enough to think you are referring specifically to me, but just to let you know, after I read your post I removed my hands from the towel...and it stayed there. Wow! Is that...magic?

[ShellyM 1]

Seriously guys, I am going to stop reading this thread. I have been concerned about my body image for some time, and yesterday I took a body image test and found out for true that I really have some issues with myself. I am NOT pointing fingers at anyone now, seriously. But I think that at this point I just don't need to read about heavy people being fat and gross...I am NOT pointing any fingers, and I think you are all wonderful. But I just cannot handle reading that mentally right now, because I am hypercritical of myself enough already without reading things like that

Seriously though guys, I think you are all great.

[ShellyM 1]

Thrax said:

I'm not self-centered enough to think you are referring specifically to me, but just to let you know, after I read your post I removed my hands from the towel...and it stayed there. Wow! Is that...magic?

 

With the body you have, you can drop anything you want.

[SuAndBud 21]

And to think this badness probably all started with the immortal line (advance subliminal apology, it probably was really - blinkin' flip starting to speak like Yoda, now - lol)

 

"Guess we're about to get shot down in flames". - A full quote of that post will follow for those who really don't wanna trawl through them all - and who would blame them?).

 

So apologies on the one hand, but - But, but, but we do stand by our observation that there appeared to be a little too much patronization going on amongst the (what do we say, here without causing offense? - "Skeletally framed deficient?", maybe. "Hard Body Denialists?" "Big Boned" as we were reminded our mothers used to say was a hoot - Let's stick with) "Cuddly" board members.

 

If that weren't enough, we smaller, wee, most inoffensive of patrons of the board were receiving a severe verbal kicking for just being...Well, ourselves, really.

 

It would be nice to think that "our" community could be more tolerant of others, than certain other communities. Threads like this prove that we've not quite gotten there yet. But it's also clear from the way this thread has gone that at least we all seem to be trying.

[MoonLightKiss 28]

Thrax said:

I'm not self-centered enough to think you are referring specifically to me, but just to let you know, after I read your post I removed my hands from the towel...and it stayed there. Wow! Is that...magic?

 

You may rest assured, that I was indeed most definitely referring to you sugar. But magic? Are we sure it wasn't something a little more, shall we say, substantial?

[telly2 15]

prettylady said:

Ok first off, I went back and reread my posts. I don't think I was out of line with anything I wrote or thought. Although that quote thing can make a comment take on a whole new meaning if you want it too.

 

Anyway I was shocked to see how bad this thread crashed. Ok maybe not that shocked.

 

I want to take a moment to say this. I do not agree that people should rethink their grocery list. I am a sucker for chocolate sandwich spread, who the hell am I to say that you should not buy your treat.

I do not think that "fat" people are disgusting. I find people who don't take care of themselves disgusting.

 

I don't believe overweight people are unfit. Hell my sister is considered overweight and she has great endurance and good eating habits.

 

Although fast food restaurants and junk food has caused a raise in childhood obesity, I don't believe that it is only lack of will power that causes it.

 

If the health organizations say obesity is a disease who the hell are we to make comments stating that obesity is caused from poor eating habits and lazy asses. It is not true. genetics does have something to do with it.

 

Now I am going to tell you something about myself that some may find offensive but I am trying to prove the point that there is more to overweight issues then the accused poor health care of oneself.

 

When I was preggers with my baby girl I craved Big Macs. I ate a big mac every day from 6 months on.

heres the part where some of you may take offense. I lost all but 5 lbs when I gave birth. Another woman could have had the same issue with cravings and spend the rest of her young life fighting off those Big Macs.

 

I do believe Genetics has a lot to do with weight issues. People who are prone to being larger have to fight like hell to maintain the healthy body weight as set down by the World Health Organization.

 

It is way to easy for naturally thin people to give bigger people a finger wagging because it is so easy for us.

You know many of us, (prettylady holds her head in shame as she makes this statement) figure what the hell, get into the gym, eat right, and problem solved.

 

NOT COOL ladies and gentlemen. I have learnt a lot in my Fitness and Health Program I am taking in college. One being that that statement I made just now is chocked full of shit. It is not that easy for everyone.

 

Westernswing, I may have made a kneejerk reaction to comments you made. But hear me out please. I have been referred to as a Barbie based solely on my size. I have been in the change room and heard a couple of girls teasing me. Making strange comments about me. I have a tiny mole on my belly. My Dad called it a beep button. He pushes it I say beep. It was a flaw that they attacked. They joked about my workout on the heavy bag. "just who does she think she is...Michelle Tyson" hee hee hee. No, I don't think I am Michelle Tyson. I am Prettylady, this years World Kickboxing Champion and just who the hell are you?

 

It hurt to know that because I work out and am thin, I was the target for these girls. Funny thing is I was jealous of the one girls voice and the other girl had the most beautiful red hair.

 

I do get offended by Barbie comments, probably too easily.

 

But at the risk of contradicting myself. I am sorry but I refuse to apologize for any comments I made. I made them, I always stand by what I say, I may not word it well but it is how I think.

 

I will apologize if any comments I made hurt anyone directly, if I attacked anyone directly although I don't think I did.

Please let me know if I did.

 

Damn this is long, I don't usually like to get argumentative. I like to like people and I like them to like me back.

 

Your friend,

Prettylady

 

 

pretty lady thank you for setting a few thing straight, that we are not all lazy asses, some of us do more in a day than most would classify as normal, personally I eat all homemade healthy food, very little junk food and work my ass off, and guess what, I am still overweight. Genetics are here and I can fight them and not eat, but hay this is who I am and if you don't like it don't look.

 

My hubby had the opposite problem, eat all he wants and never break 150 lbs. we both have to fight generally the same battle. If he ate what I do he would fade away, and if I ate what he does, I would balloon up even more.

 

But I think this was supposed to be a simple thread of yes or no type answers and turned into a nightmare of insults and advice for how to be perfect.

 

Well for me, I am perfect, I have a hubby who loves me unconditionally {whether I am large or small} 3 beautiful children, the ability to stay home and raise them, and yeah a string of guys and girls who do think I am great to sleep with. what more could a girl ask for. To be thin? I think not. Everyone around me is happy the way I am, and so am I.

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

Ya know I try to avoid certain threads but eventually the fact that I'm the admin forces me to read them and deal with them, so here I go.

 

SuandBud said:

You don't have to be overweight to enjoy life to the full.

 

No one said you did.

 

I think people take way too much exception to the "Ken and Barbie" statement. I don't look at a good looking in shape couple and think "Ken & Barbie". However, if after talking to a good looking in shape couple I find them vapid and shallow or find that they think themselves better than others , then I definately think "Ken & Barbie". Therefore it is in the attitude not in the looks themselves.

 

I think the term "Ken & Barbie" has become overused as an easy label, and is often misused where it does not apply, and for that reason many good looking inshape couples take offense to the term, automatically assuming that it applies to them. The sad truth is that if they do take offense to something so silly then chances are the term does apply. But that's just my opinion.

 

prettylady said:

If anyone called me a barbie to my face I would be pissed, NOT because I am a drama queen, but how dare anyone make such an assumption about me with out meeting me.

 

And rightfully so.

 

I think that too many here are taking offense to a comment that was not directed at them. No one here has said, hey so and so you are a "Barbie" or a "Ken" and yet several people here have taken offense as if that has been the case.

 

SuandBud said:

We could say that fit people have more stamina (yer, right!) Firstly, when it comes to doing fit things (like running marathons) it's probably true. But secondly, when it comes to sex and passion and intimacy being "fit" is no advantage at all. It's desire and fun and humour and your word "passion" that counts in the bedroom olympics.

 

Very good point actually. And perhaps that is just why hoistsail's experience has shown that larger women are more passionate in bed and my experience has shown me that guys with really large dicks suck in bed. Those who may have been dissed because of their size my find it to their advantage to be more passionate (read: active) in bed... just as IMO guys with overly large penises seem to have the idea that because they have a large dick that is all they need (they have no idea how to use it or how to use any of the other tools they may have) - while a guy with an average or OMG even small dick has learned that he has to use more of his "tools" and has to make an effort to use them well, and perhaps he has come to that conclusion only through feeling inadequate in comparison to those larger dicks. So in reality what has happened is that over-compensation (in a way) has become a benefit.

 

Several people here have stepped over the lines of decorum. It's fine to say what you think or feel but you should do so with a bit of tact. By no means do I think everyone should agree but eventually you just have to accept that you've said what you came to say and move on and stop swinging that bat. All you end up doing is pissing yourself off more and pissing off everyone around you and in the end making yourselves look really bad. Over what? The fact that someone doesn't agree with you?

 

Now I have said my piece... so you can stop beating whatever dead animal you are beating.

[Chicup 38]

A vanilla female friend told me I put on weight a couple of days ago.

 

Made me think of this thread.

 

She's right, but interestingly I can identify my lack of motivation with us backing off on swinging with new couples (for a number of reasons).

 

I need a better reason to stay in shape (that I'm willing to work for) besides swinging.

[charms123 52]

We are also not the Barbie and Ken often mentioned. We even state that in many of our profiles.. just to be safe.

 

We have been to many clubs where the more voluminous women have the guys lined up waiting… literally. They have a great personality and know how to use what they have. They dress nice, have nicely painted nails and are CLEAN and NEAT. That goes a long way. And these couples and single girls are really the hit of the party.

 

We were at a club once and there was a little click of the “beautiful people”. Do not get me wrong and I do not use that necessarily as a negative. But later than night, the “Hottest” of the group of women had two guys in a room. Both the guys were at the bar shortly after that and I overheard one say to the other “She was the worst I have been with in a long time. What an attitude.” You could have floored me with a feather.

 

So my point here somewhere is that take the looks with a grain of salt. The “bigger” women will probably still have fun into her 50’s +. Barbie, she will just be old!

 

Our nickel’s worth of opinion.

 

M&N

[intensity_too 16]

So far I have kept my big mouth shut on this thread, until now. But I agree with ShellyM on this.

 

I am a larger woman, I know I have posted that before. But SuAndBud I would like to inform you about some of us "fat" people. I happen to have a "medical condition" that one of the side effects is being overweight. I have been fighting this condition for more then 25 years. I have PCOS. Even my new family Dr. did not know what this was. And like I told him, I will bet you that you eat more for breakfast then I eat all day. I have no appitite to speak of, if I could eat a salad every day for the rest of my life I would be happy. But due to low blood sugar, I can't do that. Bear gets worried about me because he thinks I don't eat enough. I do exercise, but due to my condition I don't loose weight. I would never wish this condition on anyone. I not only have to deal with everyone thinking I eat way too much, I also have to deal with a host of other side effects of this condition. I am telling you all this in the hopes that you might learn that not every fat person is that way because of what they eat or because they don't exercise. Not every fat person lives on McDonalds and candy. Not every fat person is fat by their own hand. Some of us were handed a raw deal with our genes. But I will agree that a lot of overweight people do it to themselves. Just not everyone.

 

As for swinging, I understand that not everyone will find me attractive, and that is ok. I don't find everyone I meet attractive either. To each his own.

 

 

Thank you so much babe!!!!!!!!! I too suffer from PCOS and the statement that fat people are fat by their choosing rubbed me in such a bad way I could not even post.

 

So, before you judge me because I am fat, ask me about my condidtion. Fat is the least of my worries.

[bear_and_babe 68]

Intensity_too-

 

I am so sorry that you have this horrible disease. I know how hard it is when people give you the looks thinking if they would just stop eating they would lose weight. Unless you have this disease you really don't understand what our issues are.

[bear_and_babe 68]

I have read almost everything else on PCOS. But until you walk in my shoes, or anyone else who had PCOS you really don't know what you are talking about. I have busted my ass trying to loose weight, and yes I do eat right, I have been following a diabetic diet for years. Saying that weight loss will help things is true, but with this insidious disease loosing weight is so much harder then it is for the normal person. Not only do I have to deal with the weight problem, I have had to deal with infertility, miscarriage after miscarriage (x6) and now the worst thing to happen, I have developed diabetes, do to no fault of my own. This damn disease is the cause of my problems. There is nothing I can do about it. So with all due respect, please stop trying to be an arm chair doctor and telling Poly Cystic women that the root of their problem would just go away if they lost weight.

[2jersey 15]

Intensity_too-

 

I am so sorry that you have this horrible disease. I know how hard it is when people give you the looks thinking if they would just stop eating they would lose weight. Unless you have this disease you really don't understand what our issues are.

 

Intensity_too - Please try to understand. You do not KNOW what people are THINKING. You may be internalizing IMAGINARY "criticisim". ?

 

Most people understand the scientifically affirmed genetic connection to obesity - and they do not hold you accountable. We certainly don't.

 

Relax, and be proud of yourself for making the most of a difficult situation.

 

Best to you!

[Miss_Piggy 98]

I'm sort of unclear on why this is such a disagreement. It looks to me as though everyone just wants to know that they are welcome.

 

The BBWs and BHMs want everyone to know that they can still be fun and sexy and take part in this lifestyle.

 

The pretty folks want everyone to know that they aren't stupid bimbos and that they can be beautiful and have personality at the same time.

 

In the end I think we can all agree that there is no reliable connection between looks and personality.

 

Big peole can be nice.

Big people can be mean.

Thin people can be nice.

Thin people can be mean.

 

This variability exists both across people and within individuals.

 

It doesn't seem like anyone is trying to make blanket statements about any one group - just statements about how some people have observed such and such in some other people.

 

We can do all sorts of finger pointing and attacking each other's statements but I really do think it all comes down to everyone trying to feel welcome.

 

It's an unfortunate aspect of this particular medium. If we were all sitting around a table having a few beers we probably wouldn't be nearly so nasty to one another.

 

My point? I think this thread indicates far more disagreement than is necessary.

[intuition897 2,177]

It's great to have you back Miss Piggy. Dito to that. I've been wondering myself why there is so much disagreement here.

 

As jersey2 said:

Please try to understand. You do not KNOW what people are THINKING. You may be internalizing IMAGINARY "criticisim". ?

I think this holds true for everyone, regardless of body type. While I may have preferences, I don't hold anything against anyone except mean-spiritedness. Life is TOO SHORT to allow ugly-on-the-inside people to pollute it with their attitudes. Whether I'm sexually attracted to someone and whether I like them as a person are two VERY different things. I won't - I can't - apologize for not being sexually attracted to someone, and it often doesn't have much to do with body type...it's just a matter of sexual chemistry which is as variable as people are unique. I'm as likely to choose a very average looking person as I am to choose a very beautiful person (and vice versa!) and there's just no rhyme or reason to it.

 

If you just like arguing, then I guess have at it. I just don't see what point it is that everyone is trying to make here. I thought Miss Piggy summed it up very well.

[prettylady 221]

intuition897 said:

I thought Miss Piggy summed it up very well.

 

I think you're right.

 

I have been unduly harsh at times in this thread. I let my annoyance get the best of me at times.

 

I still stand by what I said, perhaps it should have been better said.

 

[wtchy13 15]

I just would like to know, who out there amoung you like BBW's or BHM's

 

Alot of people in my experence are looking for "Ken and Barbie". Now why would you look for some one who isn't correct anatomiclly?

 

I was just wondering because we've had some bad experences with the Ken and Barbie seekers. They don't stop us though, cause big people are fun cause there is more to love.

I have also had some bad experiences with the Ken and Barbie seekers, and still have had fun as a BBW and love every minute of it.