BBW sex or not?

[MoonLightKiss 28]

I agree with WS, being labeled a "Barbie & Ken" for us does not refer to size, but attitude. Its the shallow mindset of refusing to even acknowledge, and go so far as to make fun of someone not like them. The mindset of "Look at us, we are perfect...hahaha you aren't"

 

Personally, I have met people all over the world, being a military brat, and let me tell you, there are shallow people wearing a size 2 and shallow people wearing a size 20. There are also wonderful people on both ends of the fitness scale.

 

I also believe, everyone has their own preferences when it comes to playmates. Some men prefer blondes, some women prefer a man with smooth hands rather than rough ones. Some couples prefer other couples who are quite intelligent and can argue the phycological benefits of using the Fruedian technique of counseling and other couples prefer another couple who knows about Nascar. I don't really feel anyone should be called shallow because of their preferences. My size 16 might turn you off, but who knows, perhaps someone elses trait turns me off. Its called life and humanity. And I personally don't see anything wrong with having my own preferences as far as playmates, so I certainly can't be hypocritical and criticize anyone for preferring fit bodies. Its just a preference and their is nothing wrong with that.

[2inVT 122]

We have experienced being with people of different sizes. We have been turned down before because of our size, also. We've been turned down for other reasons, as well.

 

I'll admit that we're not apt to contact HWP couples or singles, unless their profile says that body size is not important. Why set ourselves up to be shot down? There are plenty of other folks who'd be more than happy to play with us. If we're contacted by HWP folks, great. Let's meet. We make it real clear that we're larger. Same as we make it clear that we smoke. Those things have been deal-breakers in the past, so best to get that out of the way.

 

I am a firm believer that it's not necessary to put down one type of people because you happen to prefer their opposite. I do not criticize or put down thin people.

 

But... I can understand where some of the backlash is coming from. How many BBWs do you see on TV or in the movies being portrayed as attractive? How many stores like Victoria's Secret sell sizes only for thin women? How many times do you see clothing that would look FABULOUS on larger women only sold in small sizes, and the larger size styles are just dowdy? And how many times do you see people saying that "fat is unattractive," "too lazy to take care of themselves," and so on?

 

Even the general things people say reflect this attitude. On another forum, I read a comment that said something like, "My hubby prefers to look at pictures of hotties. He is not interested in BBWs." Just a comment, with no intention of criticizing anyone - but it implies that larger women are not hotties.

 

It amuses me to see the HWP and thin folks pitch a fit over threads that praise BBWs. For pete's sake, probably 75% or more of the comments about what's hot and what's not, on the forums, talk about thinner, HWP body types. Why the resentment over someone praising a larger body type?

 

It's like the straight folks who feel the need to post negatively about bi-males in a bi-male thread. Like any topic, if you are not interested in what it's talking about, move on.

[SuAndBud 21]

ThkMlkChkLik,

 

What do we mean by looking after our bodies?

 

Duhhh, a little excercise perhaps (really thought that was a "no-brainer" - but nevermind).

 

WesternSwing,

 

Your pithy generalisations about people who's BMI is lower than that of your wife and your preferred body type is precisely the type of blinkered attitude of some overweight people or their afficionado's which prompted us to throw our 2Cents in to the discussion.

 

If overweight people are so happy, why do they persistently attack the non-fat with sweeping generalisations and flawed opinions as to our character and "shallowness"? What possible effect can extra body weight have on someones capacity to be "deep" and "nice" and "loving" and any of the other positive superlatives they invariably use to cover up their bodily insecurities? Why do fat people so often describe themselves as "cuddly"? We cuddle a lot. We're cuddly. A cuddle is an act of closeness and caresses - not a measurement of mass.

 

Why do the overweight contingent so often start threads that timidly ask questions like "Am I too fat to be a swinger?"; "Do any board-members like/prefer BBW's?" etc., etc.

 

If we contacted another couple we wouldn't say "hope Su being of mixed race is OK with you" or "hope Bud being white is not a problem" or "sorry Su's only a 32" bust size" ad infinitum. We would simply give our stats over and leave it up to them. We wouldn't hazard a pre-guess as to why the other couple might not be attracted to us. We're secure in ourselves and life's too short to concern ourselves with the inalienable fact that not everyone is gonna want to jump in the sack with either or both of us.

 

We never yet saw a thread on the lines of "Am I too fit to be a swinger?"

 

It would appear to be an insecurity issue on your part and perhaps a reason for your attempts to put us down in order to make yourselves feel better.

 

Just an observation. We don't judge or dislike you if you're of a larger size. We just don't find you that physically attractive is all. Does that make us shallow? Is a gay guy "shallow" because he doesn't find girls attractive? No. Are you "shallow" because you find large breast, hips, tummies, ass's more attractive than skinny ones? No. Why then are we deemed shallow (but only by fat people) when the situation is reversed?

[prettylady 221]

WesternSwing said:

Thus, I always find it amusing when skinnier folk cry persecution. At least they have a better chance of getting employed and they never get moo'd at.Mr. WS

 

So I should just sit back, shut up and take the insults like a good Barbie.

 

I understand that being thin does give me a better chance at a lot of things, and I won't apologize for that it is not my fault.

 

I am very often considered less intelligent because I am a gym rat. Apparently working out is all I do and all I care about. Being in the gym means you can't possibly know anything else. The words Muscle Head comes to mind.

 

Your comment suggests a double standard. It is alright to make fun of "barbie" but shut the hell up about BBW.

 

The only time I am bothered by someone with weight is when it is excessive. You know they are not healthy. Sometimes I am concerned by their weight, sometimes I am disgusted. Depends on how well people take care of themselves. Same goes for extremely skinny girls. We have one at the gym now who is giving off a terrible smell because she is anorexic.

 

It is NOT ok to judge, tease or humiliate anyone.

 

At the risk of sounding like a dim witted Muscle head.

 

It is just not cool!

[classi_chassis 15]

I look at it this way...if I were 10 ft tall I'd have the perfect "society" body!!!! BUT for me and my man, I am perfect. No one has ever been able to convince me that I am NOT Barbie... Do you realize that if the Barbie Doll came to life she is so NOT HWP that she would not be able to stand up. LOL

[EvilMJ 65]

I re-read the whole thread just to get a feel for it again and here is what I have taken from it.

 

No one wants to be lumped together as a group. One comment did jump out at me later- Prettylady, (and this is not a flame as I think you are a great person) but BBW to me is not a term of enderament, I would much rather be called a beautiful woman.

 

No one likes generalizations - Thin, fit people are not automatically Ken and barbie, they are just as wonderful beautiful people as anyone else. Overweight people are not all lazy people who don't care about their appearance, anyone who has struggled with their weight knows what a nightmare it can be. Just because I have extra pounds does not mean I don't work out any more than being thin would automatically mean you are shallow.

 

We all have our own preference and our own ideal of what is attractive. I see no reason why you can't state that. If someone says they want HWP then I just think they are stating a preference, not judging anyone.

 

The reason we are going to see threads asking if it is okay to be overweight and swing is that when you have extra weight on you are treated differently and it is hard to be confident about yourself when other people treat you in a less then positive manner. I would hope that the purpose of this is not to bash thin folk and say they have less personality, but rather as an attempt to find out if there is any place for them (being the bigger person) in this 'lifestyle' or if there is anyone out there who is willing to make a connection with them.

 

Okay I am done rambling and I hope this makes some sense.

[2inVT 122]

SuAndBud said:

If overweight people are so happy, why do they persistently attack the non-fat with sweeping generalisations and flawed opinions as to our character and "shallowness"? What possible effect can extra body weight have on someones capacity to be "deep" and "nice" and "loving" and any of the other positive superlatives they invariably use to cover up their bodily insecurities? Why do fat people so often describe themselves as "cuddly"? We cuddle a lot. We're cuddly. A cuddle is an act of closeness and caresses - not a measurement of mass.

 

Not all overweight people persistently attack the non-fat. Fat people describe themselves as cuddly because it's a more positive word than fat. Just because fat people are cuddly doesn't mean thin people aren't cuddly. You're sounding pretty defensive about this, and I'm not sure why.

 

SuAndBud said:

Why do the overweight contingent so often start threads that timidly ask questions like "Am I too fat to be a swinger?"; "Do any board-members like/prefer BBW's?" etc., etc.

 

For the most part, these threads are started by newbies. People concerned that they might not fit in with other swingers. They've seen profile after profile looking for "fit, HWP" people. They're looking for a little positive reinforcement that their body type is attractive to people. Who knows, maybe they've read your posts saying that you find overweight people unattractive and are wondering if that's a prevailing opinion.

 

SuAndBud said:

If we contacted another couple we wouldn't say "hope Su being of mixed race is OK with you" or "hope Bud being white is not a problem" or "sorry Su's only a 32" bust size" ad infinitum. We would simply give our stats over and leave it up to them. We wouldn't hazard a pre-guess as to why the other couple might not be attracted to us. We're secure in ourselves and life's too short to concern ourselves with the inalienable fact that not everyone is gonna want to jump in the sack with either or both of us.

 

We never yet saw a thread on the lines of "Am I too fit to be a swinger?"

 

It would appear to be an insecurity issue on your part and perhaps a reason for your attempts to put us down in order to make yourselves feel better.

 

We simply describe ourselves, and send photos. We're also secure in ourselves, we realize that we are not to everyone's taste, and we'd rather not waste time setting up a meeting with people who aren't interested. And actually, I've seen quite a few threads talking about mixed race people and couples, in the same vein as the BBW threads.

[2inVT 122]

Prettylady makes some good points - though is it necessary to say that excessively overweight people disgust you? It works both ways. You wouldn't like it if someone said that overly muscled gym rats disgust them. ("Gym rat" is your wording, btw.)

 

Since this seems to be a real issue for you, why not start a thread talking about how attractive you find people who work out a lot?

 

I don't use the term "Barbie and Ken." It's overused. But, when I see it, I think more of personality than anything else. People who think they are perfect, and that anyone who isn't just like them isn't worth their attention.

 

We met people with this attitude - at one M&G, they refused to join the group at the table, and later commented about "So where are all the good-looking people?" The lady of this couple is thin, shapely - and has a face that would stop a clock. The man is good-looking, not in a particularly masculine way. They have lousy personalities. And they are the ones I think of when people talk about "Barbie and Ken."

[prettylady 221]

2inVT said:

Prettylady makes some good points - though is it necessary to say that excessively overweight people disgust you? It works both ways. You wouldn't like it if someone said that overly muscled gym rats disgust them. ("Gym rat" is your wording, btw.)

 

I also recall saying excessively skinny people too.

 

Why did you point out the gym rat was what I said. I know I said that.

 

The thing I find disgusting is people who don't take care of themselves. THIN OR FAT!!!!

 

This is a subject that should not be addressed at all. Fit people get offended when we are called ken and barbies. Or when we are told to stop complaining about being called shallow simply because society treats us better. (to save my ass, I don't treat people different based on size, only attitude. Did I cover alright)

 

And people who call themselves BBW get offended when fit people say they prefer other fit people, or what ever.

 

This is such a touchy subject that even if I had a laywer present to make sure I have used all the politically correct terms, someone is going to offense to something.

 

I pretty much give up here, I'm wrong no matter what I say, your wrong no matter what you say. It is a lost cause.

 

Skinny and Fat people will never see eye to eye as a whole. Again put in the disclaimer "as a whole" so you can't say I am grouping.

 

See what I mean it is a no win situation.

 

I'm done

 

Best wishes to you all.

[prettylady 221]

OH ps to my last post.

I have been told that I disgust a woman because I have to much muscle. I am nowhere near muscle bound.

 

But it was her opinion. Did she need to say it? I really don't care.

[SuAndBud 21]

Just wish fat people would stop apologizing. If you gotta say sorry why not do something about it.

 

It's the politics of (reciprocated) envy at work, is all, when a fat person verbally attacks or inwardly despises their fitter, leaner cousins. Such despise, which we KNOW exists, is simply inverted feelings of unhappiness at their own malady.

 

There are a heck of a lot of happy (not meaning the "Ho ho ho" jolly type) fat people. There are a heck of a lot of unhappy lean people. We all share the planet, society and their respective joys and pains. But don't beat up on us in the manner of a layabout ne'r do well "keying" the limo he covets but can't imagine securing the wherewithal to own for him/herself.

 

Give us a happy and content fat person for company over a miserable sad lean person any day - for companionship.

 

Trust us to put a smile on the face of the leaner person in the sack.

 

Oprah and John Candy or Halle and Brad?

 

OK we've made our choices. Wonder how dissimilar they are to yours?

[WesternSwing 504]

 

SuAndBud said:

Your pithy generalizations about people who's BMI is lower than that of your wife and your preferred body type is precisely the type of blinkered attitude of some overweight people or their aficionado's which prompted us to throw our 2Cents in to the discussion.

This is the exact type of response I referred to in my post.

 

Quote

If overweight people are so happy, why do they persistently attack the non-fat with sweeping generalizations and flawed opinions as to our character and "shallowness"? What possible effect can extra body weight have on someones capacity to be "deep" and "nice" and "loving" and any of the other positive superlatives they invariably use to cover up their bodily insecurities?

Now I didn't personally say that, in fact I said quite the opposite. However, as 2inVT refers to, Hollywood tends to stereotype the dumb, beautiful blonde and the lazy, ugly fat person.

 

Quote

Why do the overweight contingent so often start threads that timidly ask questions like "Am I too fat to be a swinger?"; "Do any board-members like/prefer BBW's?" etc., etc.

Because of how thicker people are seen. They are worried because they don't look like the women in porn movies and therefore won't be accepted into the lifestyle. Now why would they think that??? Where would they get that idea? Body insecurities don't come from nowhere. It is others that make them feel insecure about their body image.

 

Quote

If we contacted another couple we wouldn't say "hope Su being of mixed race is OK with you" or "hope Bud being white is not a problem"

But it's NOT okay to refer to race in a derogatory manner, however society makes it open season on "above-average" weight people. Once again, look a the movies. When was the last time you saw a chubbier person in a leading role or being portrayed in a positive manner?

 

Quote

We never yet saw a thread on the lines of "Am I too fit to be a swinger?"

And you never will, because of what I've said above.

 

Quote

It would appear to be an insecurity issue on your part and perhaps a reason for your attempts to put us down in order to make yourselves feel better.

Ha! Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am far from insecure about anything! However, when was the last time you sat and consoled your wife or husband because of mean things that were said about them because of their weight? Or they didn't get a job or were passed-up on a promotion by a less qualified woman that happened to be a skinny-Winnie with huge fake breasts?

 

I am not putting anybody down because they are average, fit, skinny, whatever. I pointed out the obvious. There is a difference between being funny and being mean. Men make rude comments and laugh at a size 16 woman at the Wendy's because she ordered a hamburger and get this...this is the punch line... wait, wait, here it comes... A DIET COKE! Oh my god isn't that funny! When was the last time a skinny person got laughed at for ordering a Diet Coke?

 

prettylady said:

So I should just sit back, shut up and take the insults like a good Barbie.

Did I say that? No. Just the same I don't want to get jumped on when I don't sit back and let insults about my wife not being a size 5 roll of my back like water off a duck's. Nowhere in my post did I insult you for being skinny. Are you a Barbie based on my definition? I think not. Nowhere in my post did I say thin people are shallow, empty-headed, and stupid. I said, under my definition of "Barbie & Ken" shallow comes to mind... but you're not shallow or stupid because you have a BMI of 18. In fact, that doesn't make you a "Ken & Barbie". Weight has nothing to do with intelligence or personality.

 

Quote

Your comment suggests a double standard. It is alright to make fun of "barbie" but shut the hell up about BBW.

No, my comment said it is not okay to make fun of anybody because of weight. Now under my definition of Ken & Barbie... Well, if they want to be that way and hang with people just like them in physical appearance and general attitude about life, then so be it. I don't freaking care! It doesn't effect us. It does effect us though when these same people make rude and calloused remarks at the Wendy's or the mall about my wife being a size 14-16.

 

The difference is a stereotype vs. discrimination. A person with a BMI of 18 - 24 will never be discriminated against because of weight. 25 - 29 they may be. 30 and above they most certainly will be. Is that your fault for being skinnier? No. Is it the fault of society and the shallowness of the person discriminating against someone of larger size? Yes. But like I also mentioned, I'm sure they don't visit this board.

 

Quote

It is NOT ok to judge, tease or humiliate anyone.

At the risk of sounding like a dim witted Muscle head.

Its just not cool!

And I didn't. Was my post read, or just responded to in with a knee-jerk reaction.

 

You are right, it's not okay. I'll go out with business associates that don't know my wife and they'll make fun of chubby chicks and yes, it pisses me off. Just the same as making fun of one's race, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, political orientation, and yes even being too skinny offends me. I don't accept that kind of attitude. Making fun of anyone isn't cool. Period.

 

I'll say it once again... To me, "Ken & Barbie" is a state of mind... not a number on the BMI scale. There are bigger people that are jerks, there are skinny people that are jerks. I'm not saying you are a shallow "Ken & Barbie" because your skinny. However, every time I defend my wife's right to be a happy size 14-16 I get jumped on for being anti-skinny people. Where did I say I'm anti-skinny people?! I AM ONE! MY WHOLE SIDE OF THE FAMILY ARE SKINNY PEOPLE WHO HAVE A PROBLEM KEEPING WEIGHT ON! I get teased by my wife that I use the restroom and lose 5 pounds. I know both sides of the argument very well.

[SuAndBud 21]

WS.

 

We suffer intolerance on an almost daily basis where we live due to Su's race and the fact that we're a mixed race couple. We see the nudges and the supercilious smirks and general disdain.

 

We used to suffer (well, Bud more so) positive intimidation due to Su's ethnicity and (perversely) barbed comments about her beauty and their seeming incredulity that she were not hanging off the arm of a movie star or millionaire as opposed to Bud.

 

One of the reasons Bud returned to the gym and took up hitting the bag again. Happily for us, it's generally paid off as his mere presence and obvious streetwise charm is now enough to intimidate them right back.

[Thkmlkchoclik 15]

SuAndBud said:

ThkMlkChkLik,

 

What do we mean by looking after our bodies?

 

Duhhh, a little exercise perhaps (really thought that was a "no-brainer" - but nevermind).

 

WesternSwing,

 

Your pithy generalizations about people who's BMI is lower than that of your wife and your preferred body type is precisely the type of blinkered attitude of some overweight people or their aficionado's which prompted us to throw our 2Cents in to the discussion.

 

If overweight people are so happy, why do they persistently attack the non-fat with sweeping generalizations and flawed opinions as to our character and "shallowness"? What possible effect can extra body weight have on someones capacity to be "deep" and "nice" and "loving" and any of the other positive superlatives they invariably use to cover up their bodily insecurities? Why do fat people so often describe themselves as "cuddly"? We cuddle a lot. We're cuddly. A cuddle is an act of closeness and caresses - not a measurement of mass.

 

Why do the overweight contingent so often start threads that timidly ask questions like "Am I too fat to be a swinger?"; "Do any board-members like/prefer BBW's?" etc., etc.

 

If we contacted another couple we wouldn't say "hope Su being of mixed race is OK with you" or "hope Bud being white is not a problem" or "sorry Su's only a 32" bust size" ad infinitum. We would simply give our stats over and leave it up to them. We wouldn't hazard a pre-guess as to why the other couple might not be attracted to us. We're secure in ourselves and life's too short to concern ourselves with the inalienable fact that not everyone is gonna want to jump in the sack with either or both of us.

 

We never yet saw a thread on the lines of "Am I too fit to be a swinger?"

 

It would appear to be an insecurity issue on your part and perhaps a reason for your attempts to put us down in order to make yourselves feel better.

 

Just an observation. We don't judge or dislike you if you're of a larger size. We just don't find you that physically attractive is all. Does that make us shallow? Is a gay guy "shallow" because he doesn't find girls attractive? No. Are you "shallow" because you find large breast, hips, tummies, ass's more attractive than skinny ones? No. Why then are we deemed shallow (but only by fat people) when the situation is reversed?

 

First of all If you go back and reread my post you'll see that I AGREED WITH YOU!! You and your mate have a right to your preference of who you want to lay up with!! I also said you don't have to aplogize for that.

 

The only problem I had with your post was that little statement you made. So when you see a overweight, fat, cuddly, obese person in the street you automatically think that they're that way because they don't take care of their bodies or don't care to take care of their bodies??? This is what I was trying to understand but from this comment right here:

Quote

Duhhh, a little excercise perhaps (really thought that was a "no-brainer" - but nevermind).

It's obvious that's how you feel. So you must know ever fat, overweight, obese, cuddly person in the world?

 

I'm going to say this and be done with you because internet arguing is not my style.

 

I'm happy with myself. I've never been diagnosed with diabetes, high cholesterol., high blood pressure or any horrible problems that can be associated with being overweight. When I walk down the street or driving in my car, the last thing I got on my mind is "Wow she's sure is skinny she must work out a lot" "I hate her because she's skinny" It's not that deep for me. The weight issue is not on my mind 24/7

 

I prefer coffee over tea. My husband prefer tea over coffee. Get where I'm coming from?? It's all about your own preference.

 

Quote

If overweight people are so happy, why do they persistently attack the non-fat with sweeping generalizations and flawed opinions as to our character and "shallowness"?

 

Isn't that what you do?? You see a overweight person and automatically thinks or he/she don't exercise

 

Quote

Why do fat people so often describe themselves as "cuddly"?

What's it to you?? How we describe ourselves is how we describe OURSELVES. So it's better if we describe ourselves as being "FAT"?? If us "FAT" people say you're skinny, we're wrong. No you're "FIT".

 

Just an observation, but from you post it just sounds like you're upset because most of the people in this thread prefer THICK!!

 

Quote

Why do the overweight contingent so often start threads that timidly ask questions like "Am I too fat to be a swinger?"; "Do any board-members like/prefer BBW's?" etc., etc.

Maybe they start them because of word like these....

 

Quote

overweight people

Quote

We don't judge or dislike you if you're of a larger size. We just don't find you that physically attractive is all.

Quote

but only by fat people

 

Us "FAT PEOPLE"(is that better?) should just accept the fact that "Skinny People" dont find us physically attractive. While "Skinny People can't accept the fact that us "FAT PEOPLE"(feel better now) don't find them physically attractive. As if to say "What do they mean we're not attractive?? What's not attractive about us?? We're in shape, we're fit, we workout every day, we eat right. How can they not find us attractive??

 

Now I'm done!!!!!!!!

[2jersey 15]

Now in the lifestyle she has never once been discriminated against EXCEPT by the Barbie and Ken's... and let me tell my definition of a Barbie and Ken. I am not talking about fit, attractive people with personality and open minds. I am talking about the superficial, self-absorbed, arrogant "it doesn't matter who I am, what matters is who I appear to be" type of people. Of course, they always tend to play within their own little circle anyway and never venture out beyond it, so they are not much of an issue to others. They also seem to be the ones who are looking mostly for girl-on-girl or are just at the club to be doing the new fad and they don't seem to be around long.

 

That to me is a Barbie and Ken. Barbie and Ken would not visit this Board. Barbie and Ken would have nothing really to say here. So to me, Barbie and Ken is more an attitude then a physical appearance - although Barbie and Ken's usually have a common "look" about them. To me it wouldn't seem much like swapping if the other woman looked just like my wife.

 

In defense of those that look like Barbie and Ken's but aren't... Like my wife says "it would be so much easier to hate you if you weren't so damn nice."

 

Mr. WS

 

Good post WS.

 

As you say, Ken and Barbie are defined by their attitude rather than their physiques. This means, in essence, that we can only diagnose Ken and Barbie by reading their minds - by knowing what they think about themselves and others. And, because Ken and Barbie are difficult to approach, we must accomplish this incredible mind reading feat with minimal person to person contact. If someone avoids us, we must assume we know what is on their mind. Quite a dramatic accomplishment...

 

I have been called Barbie in the past. I've been called Barbie on this board. The label doesn't really bother me - partially because I've never had any respect or admiration for the persons who have hurled the insult. (If Chicup or Thrax or Spoo called me Barbie, that might hurt. )

[intensity_too 16]

I'm pleasantly plump, I am attractive, I am sexy, I eat healthy and I work out.

 

But I am still fat.

 

Did I mention of have the most wonderful personality ever?

 

If my weight turns you off, that's your choice, but you never know what you may have missed.

 

Your loss.

 

(That's how I think. PMA people . . positive mental attitude.)

[WesternSwing 504]

Okay... now that I've cooled-off a bit and had time to think some, let me put it this way"

 

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

 

Nobody has ever "hated" someone for being thin and beautiful. They may "admire" them. They may "envy" them. But they've never "hated" them. Envy is not good by nature and manifests itself in mean comments toward the one being envied, when in fact the ones making those comments really deep-down want to be just like the one they envy.

 

But I don't think anyone has ever "envied" an overweight person. Okay, maybe some skinny women with small breasts envy the natural cleavage of a larger women. But in general, mean-spirited comments made about larger people in general, and larger women specifically come from people who are bigoted and just plain mean. They serve no purpose other then to hurt someone else.

 

A big difference.

 

Now is this any one person's fault. No. It is a reflection of society. But, if 140 years and 6 generations after the Civil War we still can't get the issue of racial tolerance right, then what makes me think we can change people's minds about something as minor as body size. Like I said, I don't allow any intolerance around me, and I will continue to fight the good fight until I fix my little corner of the world.

[WesternSwing 504]

SuAndBud said:

WS.

 

We suffer intolerance on an almost daily basis where we live due to Su's race and the fact that we're a mixed race couple. We see the nudges and the supercilious smirks and general disdain.

I can never tell you I totally understand, but I do know what you are referring to. My best friend and his wife are a mixed-race couple and I see the attitudes of those around them in their quiet little conservative neighborhood.

[2jersey 15]

WesternSwing said:

But I don't think anyone has ever "envied" an overweight person. Okay, maybe some skinny women with small breasts envy the natural cleavage of a larger women. But in general, mean-spirited comments made about larger people in general, and larger women specifically come from people who are bigoted and just plain mean. They serve no purpose other then to hurt someone else.

 

Tough love can help motivate an obese person to improve their health by lowering their body weight. Most critical commentary aimed at the obese does not have a tough love motive, however.

[SuAndBud 21]

Quote

 

Thkmlkchoclik,

 

The only problem I had with your post was that little statement you made. So when you see a overweight, fat, cuddly, obese person in the street you automatically think that they're that way because they don't take care of their bodies or don't care to take care of their bodies???

 

 

On the whole, we pay them no more nor less attention than anyone else. We certainly don't judge them but if we were to consider that question then we'd have to agree with you in that how can they be looking after their bodies? The evidence is plain to see that they aren't. Take a look in the shopping trolley of an obese person next time your out and figure for yourself. Not every fat person has a "gland" problem.

 

Ain't it strange that when piling on the pounds, most will blame anything and everything for their condition but as soon as they've woken up and started to take more care and shed those extra pounds, they invariably say words to the effect of "truth be known I was out of condition and I was just eating too much".

 

The first step to solving a problem is recognizing it. You then establish the causes and seek to rectify them.

 

Diabetes affects three members of Bud's family and is a very, very, very bad condition to have (one young girl, at the age of 22, is probably having both legs amputated shortly and none of them are expected to live to average longevity). Guess what? They all agree that their chocolate and soda intake whilst growing up was way in excess of what would be considered safe or usual.

 

The "glands" argument is subjective and not fully proven either way.

 

How many obese people left from Belsen or Auschwitz or Chiangi?

 

Ask us how it feels to be stood at the airline check-in and taking the credit card out and paying excess baggage charges of £360 (that's around 600USD) for greedily bringing along one stupid spare suitcase, when Bud weighs 150Lb and Su weighs 100Lb and the guy next to us weighing around 300Lb and his equally obese wife and poor sustenance abused kids all stroll through unhindered and credit cards intact?

 

Weight is weight. They should weigh you and your suitcase same time.

 

We're no more naturally light than they were naturally heavy (uh oh, sorry, maybe they all had the "gland" thing). We eat careful (still enjoy our food and don't feel we're losing out) and exercise. Do we get a rebate for being lighter baggage for the aircraft?

 

Being big doesn't afford you a monopoly on getting annoyed, by the way.

 

Close your eyes for 5 before bedtime. Open your mind and think it over.

[2inVT 122]

So, essentially, BudandSue, you posted in this thread to share your lack of attraction to heavy people, and to continue that by telling overweight people to eat less, make different food choices than those you assume they make now, and to exercise more.

 

Thanks. I'm pretty sure none of us have ever heard any of THOSE comments before.

[fitcouple 25]

Holy crap this thread took off!

 

Here's my politically correct message:

 

We all like what we like, just because someone does like you, it doesn't give you the right to throw insults.

 

A few not so politically correct messages:

 

As I noted earlier, we are a very fit couple. I'm just over 6' and almost 280lbs, with a 34" waist. Basically a very musuclar, veiny, lean build. I know that the majority of the average population thinks I'm a circus side show. I can't walk into a room, bar, meeting with out at least one comment being said to me. I simply don't care, I'm me, my wife thinks I'm hot. I don't bash those that think I'm disgustingly to muscular. In essence, I understand the snickering behind your back and sometimes hurtful comments. But don't let those folks turn thier negativity onto you.

 

Society as a whole has a major weight epidemic. Especially in the US, were no one seems to be responisble for thier own actions. Having worked with many folks (as a hobby, not career) in changing thier bodies, I really believe that most of obesity issues are self inflicted, and not a "gland, or medical condition". It is really a choice for many, and society says it's OK. Its very disturbing as I know that by simply losing 5 pounds it make some one who has little self esteem, turn into a much more positive person.

 

Anyway my rant is over, I hope that everyone reading this post does come out of here with a more compassionate view of the "other side"

 

Fitcouple, OUT...

[SuAndBud 21]

2inVT, may we remind you of our first post?

 

We didn't post for your stated reasons at all. We were responding to the patronising and rude "fit people" bashing that was unashamedly going on.

 

SuAndBud said:

Guess we're about to get shot down in flames.

 

We're not Ken and Barbie (Su's better looking than Barbie for a kick-off. Bud's less attractive facially than Ken).

 

Su's naturally petite. 5' and around 100lb. 32A/B breasts. Takes little conscious exercise but is very active and eats primarily vegetables and fish (for taste reasons, not because of any dietary fad).

 

Bud eats similar but also likes lean red meat and works out regularly at the gym. 5'10 and 150lb of muscle. Neither of us show our ribcage though and are not overly worried to have a layer of flesh on our bones.

 

Guess what? We have a GREAT time (between the sheets and otherwise). We can string a couple of words of more than one syllable together and can even smile, laugh and engage in serious or amusing conversations. If you met us you'd find Su in particular to be the life and soul of any party.

 

You don't have to be overweight to enjoy life to the full. The immortal words of Will Shakespeare "methinks thou doth protest too much" springs to mind when reading some of the posts on this subject.

 

Apologies are extended if we don't fulfill the criteria as laid down by the majority of the respondents to this thread. Likewise if it's considered wrong and selfish of us to look after and cherish our bodies and health. No doubt we are to be damned eternally for actually being proud of our physical appearances.

 

And yes, we do generally (not always) find similar body types more physically attractive. A few extra pounds is fine, but we're just not attracted to fat (or skeletal, for that matter) body types. Our desires are our desires as are your own. We can no more change what we find attractive anymore than could a gay person.

 

A little more tolerance and understanding from the members would be cool (we are disappointed to have found such tolerance that we extend to those who are overweight appears not to be reciprocated).

 

But, if the cap fits:

 

Overweight people might wanna consider eating less and more healthily and engaging in a little light exercise rather than the current "fit-bashing" that is becoming an increasingly regular occurrence.

 

Surely you've heard similar said before.

[2inVT 122]

I swear, I'm gonna start going into the fitness and exercise threads and start telling people to sit down and eat a sandwich. - and that all these exercise junkie Type A personalities are headed for early heart attacks.

[2jersey 15]

I swear, I'm gonna start going into the fitness and exercise threads and start telling people to sit down and eat a sandwich. - and that all these exercise junkie Type A personalities are headed for early heart attacks.

 

Most of the fitness fanatics do eat sandwiches, but only one at a time.

 

You are correct, being type A can increase one's exposure to coronary heart disease. Exercise, however, is very good for the heart.

[2inVT 122]

Apparently, my sarcasm escaped you.

[curiouscouple4f 17]

cause big people are fun cause there is more to love.

 

Yup, my husband and I aren't huge, but we are definatly NOT Ken and Barbie, I'm much more muscle bound then that (Though not butch). I could pick Barbie up and use her as a javelin My husband is large, and could tie Ken in knots. We are fun and sexy and love sex, too bad some people are too picky...they miss out on a bunch!

 

the Mrs.

[SuAndBud 21]

You're not "picky"?

 

So you don't "pick" who who have sex with?

 

Coooool! Your place or ours?

 

Oh, nearly forgot - we do pick who we have sex with. Maybe you're not our type.

 

We might not be yours either, but then, you're not picky are you?

[curiouscouple4f 17]

Sorry, maybe that seemed wrong, definitely "picky" but base it more on the personality side, we don't care for people with the brain ability of turnips. Humor, intelligence, cleanliness (the ability to laugh at my lack of spelling ability) and willingness to be creative and have fun, they are the most important....

 

The Mrs.

[2jersey 15]

Sorry, maybe that seemed wrong, definatly "picky" but base it more on the personality side, we don't care for people with the brain ablity of turnips. Humor, intelligence, cleanliness (the ablity to laught at my lack of spelling ability) and willingness to be creative and have fun, they are the most important....

 

The Mrs.

 

I'm not flaming you, just using your comments to make a point.

 

Intelligence is probably the central component of personality. Why is it politically correct to be prejudiced against people with a low IQ, but not okay to be biased against a person with a heavy body weight?

 

IQ is only partially within one's control and has an enormous genetic link - correct? Do we need to reexamine our feelings towards those who are suffering from mental retardation?

[Dooode 18]

I can't believe the tangents this thread went into!!

 

Cripes. Throughout my adulthood I have been skinny, fat, fit and just plain ol' straight-down-the-middle Dooode.

 

I don't knock heavyset people because I know what some of them have to go through to attain an acceptable weight level for their frame size. Try quitting smoking cold-turkey and see if you don't blimp out. Ugh. I know how difficult it is to lose weight. Been there, done that. t-shirt

 

I don't knock fit people because I know the hard work they go through to attain their fitness level. I used to run (easily) 10 miles a day, weights daily, and was even a member of an amature rugby team. Been there, done that again. t-shirt

 

The only thing that irks me about one level or the other is how one or the other exclaim some air of superiorty over the other because they CAN'T walk in the other person's shoes.

 

Until one can do so, it's really difficult to assert their "rightness" and have the other listen to what they have to say.

[telly2 15]

Hi. MrTelly2 here.

 

Fat, thin, mid-sized. Does it all really matter?

 

Peel back the skin. Do we all have the same parts?

 

Insult us. Will our feelings not be hurt?

 

Love us. Will we not enjoy the feeling?

 

I have no problem with people having preferences. It's natural. My problem is with the people who don't have enough tact to realize that it is another person,s feelings they are messing with. Maybe it's the newbie in me, but if cutting others up because of what they look like, or being cut up myself, is part of the game, maybe we should reconsider.

 

Or maybe I don't understand the intended concept of swinging. Is it all about getting what you want from someone else. or playing together for mutual enjoyment?

 

DID I MISS SOMETHING HERE?!!!!! head bang

[ShellyM 1]

WesternSwing said:

In the Army she was the fittest she's ever been, and even then because she was a size 8 our government had her on the "fatty plan" throughout her career, and she looked awesome.

 

Now look what you've done, here I get dragged in to this discussion lol. I can relate to this. I was in the Army too, and because of my wide hips I wore about a size 8-9 pants...and that was with running around Fort Polk every day. Because of this I had to have "tape tests" done every month because according to the Army's scale I was overweight....and you literally could see my hip bones poke out when I stood up. Now I don't even know if I have hip bones lol. jk.

 

WesternSwing said:

Both of us are in the lending industry and I'll tell you, all the account executives from lenders calling on our brokerage are skinny little hotties. The lenders use sex to sell to lonely, horny brokers who actually think they may get lucky someday with one of them.

 

I have a good friend who is physically "HWP"...gorgeous. Also, a beautiful person I must say. She told me that in Austin, Texas she was approached by a realty company that wanted to hire her.....all of the realtors are women, and blonde. You have to be blonde, and she would be required to dye her hair blonde. This is truly the truth, I know that for a fact. Sad, but true.

 

WesternSwing said:

We went to Victoria's Secret to find her a strapless bra (she's a 38C) and the nice 105 lb clerk told her they don't have stuff for "bigger" women like her and she might want to try one of the stores for bigger women, like Lane Bryant, then she bopped off to help a Barbie and Ken that walked in. A 32DD for skinny women with big boob jobs is there, but nothing for real women with real breasts. Mrs. WS almost broke down in tears. She was humiliated.

 

And, I know this is true. My friend is NOT obese. She is chubby from having a baby just 4 months ago. She went to a mall in Austin, Tx (not to give Austin a bad name or nothin lol), and went to buy some panties at VS....the young girl looked at her and said "we don't sell them that big here, you have to go to the internet for that"...now, honestly it may have been different. But when she told me she said had her son not been with her she would have slapped the devil out of the girl across her face.

 

WesternSwing said:

Thus, I always find it amusing when skinnier folk cry persecution. At least they have a better chance of getting employed and they never get moo'd at.

 

I am not talking about fit, attractive people with personality and open minds. I am talking about the superficial, self-absorbed, arrogant "it doesn't matter who I am, what matters is who I appear to be" type of people. ..

 

I agree completely. Most people who are fit and attractive are wonderful, beautiful people. As a matter of fact, I have talked to some I met on here, and they were happy to help talk to me about exercising and the like. Again, the few bad ones ruin it for everyone. I just got on the case of a particular Barbie not long ago. Physically beautiful. Knock down gorgeous. But her personality is just like you said. Nothing matters but her, and if she grants you the PRIVILEGE of being around her you are pretty lucky. I'm not kidding, she really is like this. So, I let her know that I would rather be around a slightly less physically perfect person with a nice, warm personality than a woman who is such a narcissist that she is unable to see past herself.

 

JMO

[ShellyM 1]

How many BBWs do you see on TV or in the movies being portrayed as attractive?

 

I have to agree. You never do, ever. Not even the children are anything other than rail thin. Well, except for Raven Symone, and this is why I like her. She refuses to go stick thin. My concern with this is my daughter, and how she sees herself. She is tall with an athletic type body, and is at the age where the thin girls are the popular, pretty girls. This concerns me when on tv a woman is pregnant, then has the baby and is absolutely rail thin again.

 

What else bothers me, and this is for the Barbies? How they allow men to treat them like property. These are lovely women with minds and opinions. But all they are there for is to show their pretty face and their nice body. Their opinion is for naught, and no one wants to hear their opinion. I think that is sad.

[ShellyM 1]

Overweight people might wanna consider eating less and more healthily and engaging in a little light excercise rather than the current "fit-bashing" that is becoming an increasingly regular occurence.

 

Okay, I will keep my opinion on this post to myself. I won't go there, and I will just leave it at that.

[ShellyM 1]

Thkmlkchoclik,

 

You said:

 

"The only problem I had with your post was that little statement you made. So when you see a overweight, fat, cuddly, obese person in the street you automatically think that they're that way because they don't take care of their bodies or don't care to take care of their bodies???"

 

Answer:

 

On the whole, we pay them no more nor less attention than anyone else. We certainly don't judge them but if we were to consider that question then we'd have to agree with you in that how can they be looking after their bodies? The evidence is plain to see that they aren't. Take a look in the shopping trolley of an obese person next time your out and figure for yourself. Not every fat person has a "gland" problem.

 

Ain't it strange that when piling on the pounds, most will blame anything and everything for their condition but as soon as they've woken up and started to take more care and shed those extra pounds, they invariably say words to the effect of "truth be known I was out of condition and I was just eating too much".

 

The first step to solving a problem is recognising it. You then establish the causes and seek to rectify them.

 

Diabetes affects three members of Bud's family and is a very, very, very bad condition to have (one young girl, at the age of 22, is probably having both legs amputated shortly and none of them are expected to live to average longevity). Guess what? They all agree that their chocolate and soda intake whilst growing up was way in excess of what would be considered safe or usual.

 

The "glands" argument is subjective and not fully proven either way.

 

How many obese people left from Belsen or Auschwiz or Chiangi?

 

Ask us how it feels to be stood at the airline check-in and taking the credit card out and paying excess baggage charges of £360 (that's around 600USD) for greedily bringing along one stupid spare suitcase, when Bud weighs 150Lb and Su weighs 100Lb and the guy next to us weighing around 300Lb and his equally obese wife and poor sustenance abused kids all stroll through unhindered and credit cards intact?

 

Weight is weight. They should weigh you and your suitcase same time.

 

We're no more naturally light than they were naturally heavy (uh oh, sorry, maybe they all had the "gland" thing). We eat careful (still enjoy our food and don't feel we're losing out) and excercise. Do we get a rebate for being lighter baggage for the aircraft?

 

Being big doesn't afford you a monopoly on getting annoyed, by the way.

 

Close your eyes for 5 before bedtime. Open your mind and think it over.

 

Julie, you have to forgive me on this one, because not much gets under my skin. But this gets under my skin and really pisses me off. Okay, just who the hell do you think you are? Just where do you get off saying such inflammatory, rude and inconsiderate things about other human beings? I am not obese, but if I were I'd tell you where you could kiss my obese you know what. I don't know you Bud, and I'm sure you are a very nice person. But this is a load of crap. Number one, you think that you are inherently a more valuable person than a heavy person. Why, I ask. Listen here buddy! If I work and pay for my groceries who are you to tell me what I can and cannot buy? What business is it of yours, anyways? Im not saying anymore, I knew I should not have read these posts. This really, really ticks me off. I think you owe people an apology for this. Not for saying that obese people are less healthy than their thinner counterparts, but for really insinuating that you are somehow worth more as a human being than I am. Okay, I'm done with this.

[ShellyM 1]

LikeMinds321 said:

Now why would you look for some one who isn't correct anatomically? .

 

It is prejudiced attitudes like this that scare me. This is what leads girls my daughter's age to throw up their dinner rather than digest to avoid "getting fat". I hope you don't teach your daughter this mind set. Anatomically incorrect, give me a frickin' break. I didn't know my appendix moved to my left side because of my fat. Wow, I didn't know that was possible.

 

LikeMinds321 said:

They don't stop us though, cause slender people are fun cause there is less fat. .

 

No comment on this, because I try to only respond to posts that actually make sense.

[2jersey 15]

Overweight people might wanna consider eating less and more healthily and engaging in a little light excercise rather than the current "fit-bashing" that is becoming an increasingly regular occurence.

 

Chicup got this thread off to a very constructive start when he described his experience:

 

We were overweight and out of shape. Instead of complaining about Ken and Barbie, we are working on becoming them.

 

To each his own, but when I was somewhat fat I knew it was my fault, and I didn't get upset if others found me unattractive because of it.

 

We are now looking pretty damn good and I'm hoping we can move from the B list to the A list (or at least A-) in a couple more months.

 

Shallow, you bet, but its about what WE find attractive and if our fat wasn't attractive to us, we couldn't expect in-shape couples to be attracted to us either.

 

This is a good example for others. Not sure why more people don't go this route - it offers so many benefits. I realize it is not easy. Neither is it easy to maintain when you are in your forties (I know) - but I work my butt off - daily exercise, proper nutrition, etc...

[2jersey 15]

It is prejudiced attitudes like this that scare me. This is what leads girls my daughter's age to throw up their dinner rather than digest to avoid "getting fat". I hope you don't teach your daughter this mind set. Anatomically incorrect, give me a frickin break. I didn't know my appendix moved to my left side because of my fat. Wow, I didn't know that was possible.

 

 

 

No comment on this, because I try to only respond to posts that actually make sense.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sweetie, I think she was referring to Barbie and Ken. The dolls are anatomically incorrect - no genitalia. Just a joke.

[ShellyM 1]

Sweetie, I think she was referring to Barbie and Ken. The dolls are anatomically incorrect - no genitalia. Just a joke.

 

Sorry if I was mistaken, but this thread has me all ticked off. I'm not saying any more about this, you are all on your own on this stuff lol.

[ShellyM 1]

 

This is a good example for others. Not sure why more people don't go this route - it offers so many benefits. I realize it is not easy. Neither is it easy to maintain when you are in your forties (I know) - but I work my butt off - daily exercise, proper nutrition, etc...

 

OK, I see your point. But see my point. Why should I HAVE to follow that example? I am NOT broken simply because I have more weight than you do! Don't get me wrong girl, I think you are a beautiful woman...and I'm working on losing weight as well so I know you work hard. But thats not my point. My point is this: People who are not HWP by society's standards are NOT DEFECTIVE. They should NOT have to feel like they are sub-standard people. This is all I'm saying. Like I give you respect I only ask that you extend to me the same courtesy. Thats all I am saying.

[telly2 15]

Hi everyone this is a nightmare of a thread, Why are we all accusing and bashing eacho ther, this is so High school sounding, the jocks and cheerleaders verses everyone else. This is nuts. We all have our preferences and that is the way it is. I think this thread should be Sex with a Bitch or not. If you look like christie brinkley, but have the personality of a garden troll, then get off my comp. If you are huge with the same personality get off my comp. Let's end this and just accept we all have differences and preferences. Surrender

 

I do have to respond to some of the comments that have been made, this is a pure thread of insults.

 

Some say we fat people have to stop eating so much and exercise more then explain this one if you are all knowing" I eat less junk food for that matter food in general the my hubby, and exercise more, Yet I am 249 lbs and he is 150? When you can answer that then maybe you can sell your book. Until then keep your answers to life to yourself and shut up. and good for you getting stiffed at the airport, they had to make space for your ego as well. You know who you are.

[bear_and_babe 68]

So far I have kept my big mouth shut on this thread, until now. But I agree with ShellyM on this.

 

I am a larger woman, I know I have posted that before. But SuAndBud I would like to inform you about some of us "fat" people. I happen to have a "medical condition" that one of the side effects is being overweight. I have been fighting this condition for more then 25 years. I have PCOS. Even my new family Dr. did not know what this was. And like I told him, I will bet you that you eat more for breakfast then I eat all day. I have no appitite to speak of, if I could eat a salad every day for the rest of my life I would be happy. But due to low blood sugar, I can't do that. Bear gets worried about me because he thinks I don't eat enough. I do exercise, but due to my condition I don't loose weight. I would never wish this condition on anyone. I not only have to deal with everyone thinking I eat way too much, I also have to deal with a host of other side effects of this condition. I am telling you all this in the hopes that you might learn that not every fat person is that way because of what they eat or because they don't exercise. Not every fat person lives on McDonalds and candy. Not every fat person is fat by their own hand. Some of us were handed a raw deal with our genes. But I will agree that a lot of overweight people do it to themselves. Just not everyone.

 

As for swinging, I understand that not everyone will find me attractive, and that is ok. I don't find everyone I meet attractive either. To each his own.

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

ShellyM said:

Quote

Now why would you look for some one who isn't correct anatomically?

It is prejudiced attitudes like this that scare me. This is what leads girls my daughter's age to throw up their dinner rather than digest to avoid "getting fat". I hope you don't teach your daughter this mind set. Anatomically incorrect, give me a frickin break. I didn't know my appendix moved to my left side because of my fat. Wow, I didn't know that was possible.

My point exactly.

 

If you read the opening post that started this thread, you'll see that I quoted that post and replaced just a few words to give people a different way to view how posts like that come across. Written either way, I find them offensive.

 

ShellyM said:

Quote

They don't stop us though, cause slender people are fun cause there is less fat.

No comment on this, because I try to only respond to posts that actually make sense.

I don't think the opening post of this thread made sense either.

[2jersey 15]

OK, I see your point. But see my point. Why should I HAVE to follow that example? I am NOT broken simply because I have more weight than you do! Don't get me wrong girl, I think you are a beautiful woman...and I'm working on losing weight as well so I know you work hard. But thats not my point. My point is this: People who are not HWP by society's standards are NOT DEFECTIVE. They should NOT have to feel like they are sub-standard people. This is all I'm saying. Like I give you respect I only ask that you extend to me the same courtesy. Thats all I am saying.

 

I'll repeat what I said earlier in this thread. Looks in general, and body type in particular, are irrelevant to me in vanilla interpersonal dealings. I don't judge people by their body type, unless we are getting naked and climbing between the sheets.

 

When I'm having lunch with a friend, I don't care if she is HWP. When I'm living a sexual fantasy, I like my partner to be relatively lean. This is how I was wired at the factory (apparently) - or maybe I have been conditioned to be this way by Hollywood and Vogue.

 

Thanks for the compliment Shelly. If you choose to lose a few pounds, great. If you are happpy with your body, great. I'm not here to judge you personally - and I'm certainly not deliberately offending you.

[ShellyM 1]

Okay, now that I am calm I do want to apologize to everyone. If I offended you I truly did not mean to in any way. I like everyone I have met on this board, and you are all completely entitled to your opinion. You know my opinion on this, so I will leave that alone. But if I was offensive I offer you most sincerest of apologies.

[2jersey 15]

Okay, now that I am calm I do want to apologize to everyone. If I offended you I truly did not mean to in any way. I like everyone I have met on this board, and you are all completely entitled to your opinion. You know my opinion on this, so I will leave that alone. But if I was offensive I offer you most sincerest of apologies.

 

ShellyM, I don't believe you have been offensive. In fact, I don't believe anyone has been deliberately offense in this thread. It is obvious that some people carry some emotional baggage on this topic and others (like me) are very matter of fact. We all have our soft spots, I guess.

[Chicup 38]

Quote

We were overweight and out of shape. Instead of complaining about Ken and Barbie, we are working on becoming them.

 

To each his own, but when I was somewhat fat I knew it was my fault, and I didn't get upset if others found me unattractive because of it.

 

We are now looking pretty damn good and I'm hoping we can move from the B list to the A list (or at least A-) in a couple more months.

 

Shallow, you bet, but its about what WE find attractive and if our fat wasn't attractive to us, we couldn't expect in-shape couples to be attracted to us either.

 

Wow I almost forgot writing that, this is a old thread

 

As a follow up Mrs. Chicup is most definitely in the A range now and has worked her ass off to get there, me I got lazy and am staying a B until I figure out a way to get my ass back in gear.

 

Now no one HAS to go this route we took, but I recommend it if you are not happy with your looks and willing to work on it.

 

What I've seen from some over the years is a hostility to anyone who recommends someone out of shape gets in shape. In one thread I recommended dieting to the guy, got flamed somewhat for it, but guess what, the guy decided to get in shape. So sure you can be any size and swing, that's not a problem, but if someone wants to look better, I don't see a problem with recommending an exercise program rather than blowing sunshine up their ass and telling them they are perfect they way they are.

 

If you are happy where you are at, that's wonderful, being comfortable in your appearance is great, if you aren't happy then there are steps you can take to improve it.

[SuAndBud 21]

ShellyM,

 

Think you "lost it" for a while there.

 

If you'd read the posts you'd have spotted we were quoting almost word for word in a flippant manner what had been said to us by another. It was a point scoring excercise, admitted, but it was fun at the time and designed to show the other poster that you can turn almost any insult back on the person who made it.

 

That was also exactly what LikeMinds321 did, by turning the thread-starting post on it's head.

 

LM321 Wish we'd had the wit to think of that one.

 

Our point entirely.

 

Bud's a gym rat, true. He numbers a lot of people of varying degrees of overweightness as friends (echo's of "How can you call me homophobic when one of my friends is gay" sure, but true nonetheless).

 

Su's best friend is a BBW. She almost lives with us due to ISO (inattentive sygnificant other). She's a pal, a mate, a buddy to us both and a serious grounding experience to fit people like ourselves (we're not "thin" as we're not below the BMI guide). We love her to bits. She'd like to lose some weight and makes no secret of her envy of us which is sad as we like her as she is and won't like her any the more/less if she loses it or puts it on.

 

Neither of us puts ourselves above a person who is heavier than ourselves. If you can find a single comment in our threads where we attacked the personalities &/or characters of any BBW or BHM we'll eat our chocolate marsmallow hats. Why would body mass make you a better or worse person either spiritually, mentally, morally or any other "....ally"?

 

Why do bigger people not restrict their comments to their lack of attraction to fitter folk or their preference for bigger folk?

 

Why do they attack our mentallity, our supposed vanity, our intelligence, our ability to have fun, to communicate, to not be self-absorbed? Our "shallowness" and our inabillity to hold a worthwhile conversation (where'd that one surface from?).

 

We can assure you that we're not always happy when we look in the mirror (but often we are, too).

 

No shame in being proud of efforts rewarded. No pride in letting it go, either!

 

We have goals as do you. We cry when we fail and celebrate when we succeed.

 

Guess what?

 

We're human, too.

 

If we went to bed tonight and discovered tomorrow that we'd somehow put on 5lb in the morning, we'd be upset at that.

 

If you went to bed tonight and discovered tomorrow that you'd somehow put on 5lb in the morning, how'd you feel?

 

Doesn't that say something to you?

[2inVT 122]

SuAndBud said:

If we went to bed tonight and discovered tomorrow that we'd somehow put on 5lb in the morning, we'd be upset at that.

 

If you went to bed tonight and discovered tomorrow that you'd somehow put on 5lb in the morning, how'd you feel?

 

I guess that would depend on how much my self-esteem depended on my weight. Since my self-esteem does not go up or down based on my weight, I don't imagine it would really make a difference to me.

 

What I object to - and this is without any criticism of thin, fit people in and of themselves - is the implication that heavier people are less attractive, and are on the "B" list - simply because of their size. Or that heavier people are never attractive to thin, fit people. Or vice versa.

 

We all have different preferences, different qualities that we find attractive or sexy. As someone (sorry, can't remember the screen name) said in an earlier post, it's not that someone prefers a different type - it's that they don't consider that the way they phrase that preference is insulting and hurtful to others. Which is EXACTLY what you thin folks have come into this thread complaining about.