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Hello everyone !

So I would request the always helpful members of this board to review my SLS profile.

 

The screen name is ablisb.

 

Please have a look at my profile when you have time and I would very much appreciate your valuable opinions.

 

Thanks in advance.

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Hello everyone !

So I would request the always helpful members of this board to review my Swing Lifestyle profile.

 

The screen name is ablisb.

 

Please have a look at my profile when you have time and I would very much appreciate your valuable opinions.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

 

I think your profile is nice. I would tighten up the grammar a little bit. I would take out the smilies and the lol's. Consider it to be an advertisement for you. It should be informative, clear and succinct, but still present yourself and your personality. Yours is a little loose and flighty, but you do sound like a fun guy. I italicized the lines from your profile I'm commenting on.

 

We haven't played with single guys so others can probably comment on this more accurately than me:

But as far as I can understand, friendship is what everyone else looking for as well.

I don't think everyone is looking for friends when they're looking for single guys.

 

I would take out this line since you already mention your soccer playing in the first paragraph:

I love playing soccer (as I have mentioned) and do play it regularly, sometimes a bit too much at a time like 2 hours straight and get my entire body sore lol

 

Take this out also, it's not necessary:

And bad or the "not so good things"...well...as I said I am neither the perfect masculine specimen nor Don Juan. But this is not "The search for living Casanova" either :). This is a lifestyle and I guess this is how I am embracing it.

 

Same with this:

So yeah, I do have experiences and I think I am smart enough to figure out the fine line between being good and pretending to be good. But then again, I am not the person to judge me, it's you ;)..so I will leave it there.

 

Hope that helps, good luck to you!

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Your profile, ablisb, has an overall good look. It also gives a general impress that you are looking for a life-long partner rather than casual sex. You need to find a way to say that you are looking for sex that is somewhere between "let's fuck" and "want friends and maybe more". Final point, you're selling yourself short; no need to say that you are not Brad Pitt; your pictures speak better of your physical attraction that comparisons to recognizable Hollywood people. Best to avoid negatives of any kind in an on-line profile.

 

Happy Hunting,

 

~Michael

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Michael and funcoupledayton,

 

Both of you are right, and I have made some changes to my profile.

I suppose it will probably take some time to have it entirely polished.

 

In any case, thank you guys for your tips and all.

I really appreciate this.

 

Best

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You should also turn on the external profile.

 

Thanks for the advice, it has also been done.

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Thanks, Julie

 

My profile is: shondre611@swinglifestyle.com

 

would be a good idea to have a thread where single guys can post a link to their SLS profile (or other external profiles/ personal ads on other sites) and let the couples who are interested in single guys review said profiles to give them an idea of how to make it better and more appealing to said couples.

 

So single guys, here's your opportunity, post your link. And couples, be honest and let them know what you think.

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Thanks, Julie

 

My profile is: shondre611@swinglifestyle.com

 

Hello and welcome,

Here are my suggestions.

 

I really like to see guys smiling. I think if you want to portray yourself as a fun person you should have one picture where you are smiling.

 

I would take out the line about being to honest, it makes me feel suspicious. Like, what are you too honest about? Do you give too much information, are you a felon?

 

"I'm the single male that most couple want because I am fun in and out the bedroom, can hold conversations with couples, treat everyone equally and respectfully, and don't cause drama." - I would take out the first line about most couples wanting you.

 

You might describe more about your cuckolding fantasy if you are looking to attract that particular type of couple. You may also want to say that you are interested in non-cuckold play too.

 

I like the information you give about photography, that makes you a bit unique.

 

I'm sure others will give you suggestions also.

 

Good luck, have fun!

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Thanks to the guidance of a kind person who pointed me to this forum thread, I've read a number of the suggestions written here, edited my profile, and am placing it up for others to view and respond to.

 

Especially experienced swingers, both men and women, I would appreciate your comments and suggestions. If you'd like to see the actual profile online, it's on swinglifestyle under the name "curiousman77."

 

Thank you! :)

 

curiousman77

Curious about the swinger lifestyle

 

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moderate Wild

 

Him:

 

Straight

47 5'3" 117lbs

 

Member since: 08/13/11

 

Springfield MA 0 Miles

 

You don't have any notes for this member.

9 recent views.

 

 

 

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Interest Levels

Tame Couples

Moderate Males

Wild Females

Desired Age Range: 30 to 65

Other Info: Drinkers OK No Smokers

 

We Are Looking For:

Hello. I am a down to earth man looking for friendly women with whom to enjoy sex in a more liberal way, free of past constraints, with respect and fun. I have been curious and thought about the swinging lifestyle for years and am now open to trying it.

 

Description:

I am slender with brown eyes and an easy smile. Movies, music, and hiking are some of the activities I enjoy. I also enjoy good conversations and getting to know people as human beings. I am in my 40's and young at heart. Who says aging is a negative? It just means more life experience, slightly more wisdom (smiley face), and a greater appreciation for simple things like morning glories and for people who say thank you.

 

Our fantasies and/or real experiences:

My fantasies include enjoying adult fun with women of various ages (30 -65). I would also like to have sex with more than one woman at a time (FMF). This seems to be a fantasy of many men, and I am no exception! I am open to a sexual date with a couple if I feel comfortable with both partners after we get to know each other. In the past I have enjoyed sex in monogamous relationships with women and one time as friends with benefits. Mostly in the bed, though once in the woods on a mountain (didn't turn out that great) and a number of times in the car (fun!). Women with large breasts really turn me on. I am clean and in good health, free of drugs and diseases, and ask the same from others.

 

What else we'd like to say, do, see, hear about and/or learn:

I am open to this lifestyle and look forward to meeting others who share the same desires. If you like the sound of my profile let me know and I'll be happy to send you a photo. Let's get to know each other and see if we feel compatible to take it further.

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Thanks to the guidance of a kind person who pointed me to this forum thread, I've read a number of the suggestions written here, edited my profile, and am placing it up for others to view and respond to.

 

Especially experienced swingers, both men and women, I would appreciate your comments and suggestions. If you'd like to see the actual profile online, it's on swinglifestyle under the name "curiousman77."

 

Thank you! :)

 

curiousman77

Curious about the swinger lifestyle

 

Hi, welcome! You will always get more attention if you have a photo visible. It can be a clothed shot without your face showing. Many people search only profiles with photos.

 

Your profile looks nice. You might want to clarify "sex in a more liberal way" I take it to mean no strings attached, but am not really sure what you mean. I would take out the, "without past constraints" That to me implies you had sexual hang-ups until recently.

 

Good luck in your search! You sound like a fun guy.

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Thanks for the suggestions. I've updated the wording and will consider that photo idea as well. I appreciate your feedback and support.

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Wow, it's been a long time since someone posted here for a profile review...just sayin'.

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Hi everyone I thought I mite post my profile and see what you guys thought about it.

kasidie.com/ash5608

 

Anyone have a Kasadie account and able to review Ash5608's profile?

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Anyone have a Kasadie account and able to review Ash5608's profile?

 

Not that I can make work, which is why I let it go dormant. That and not liking the way too busy graphics.

 

Sorry, ash5608! However, if you would like to copy the text over here, I'm sure there would be a few of us happy to review your profile.

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Thanks for trying Maui! Yes, ash, please copy and paste it in and we'll give it a once over:)

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Anyone have a Kasadie account and able to review Ash5608's profile?

 

I do! I am super busy with meet and greet today but I'll look at it this weekend.

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I copy and paste it on the thread.

 

 

ash5608

 

Member is a: Single Male

Status: Elite

City: Saint Charles

 

State: IL

 

Country: US

 

Last Seen: Nov 16, 2012

Member Since: October 2012

 

 

Certification Status:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click here to upload your standard photos...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click here to upload your exclusive photos...

 

 

Click here to upload your private photos...

 

 

 

 

 

 

click here to create a new photo album >>

 

 

 

Click here to create a

Travel & Party photo album!

 

 

 

 

Click to see all 0 of my photo albums!

 

 

 

Laid back guy look for fun. Open to all to almost anything been in the lifestyle for almost 4 years and I love it. I have met a lot of great people in the lifestyle and I am looking to meet more.I'm kind of shy to start out with but when you get to know me you find me a shameless flirt. Who is down for most anything. So please drop a line I would love to here from you.

 

 

 

 

 

Couples Single Females

 

I am looking for great wild people who love to have a good time.

 

 

 

 

 

Only visible to people if you have granted them a backstage pass

 

 

 

 

 

Art - Painting/Drawing Audio/Electronics Automobiles Bowling Comedy Comics & Anime Computers & Technology Fishing Golf Movies Music - Listening (specify) Poetry Reading Science Science Fiction & Fantasy Snowmobiles Space Swimming Theater/Performing Arts Video Games Wine Yachting

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rating:

1 = Maybe, but not likely

2 = Sometimes, it depends

3 = I'm game if you are

4 = I enjoy this a LOT

5 = Essential, absolutely part of my play

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rating:

1 = Maybe, but not likely

2 = Sometimes, it depends

3 = I'm game if you are

4 = I enjoy this a LOT

5 = Essential, absolutely part of my play

 

 

Girl/Girl Play

 

Girl/Guy Play

 

Same room play

 

Separate room play

 

No swap,

lets watch each other

 

Flirting

 

Touching

 

Kissing lightly

 

Kissing passionately

 

Hand Jobs

 

Oral Sex

 

Vaginal Sex

 

Anal Sex (giving)

 

Toys

 

Voyeurism, just watching

 

Exhibitionist, being watched

 

Role Playing

 

Erotic massage

 

BDSM

 

Bondage (no D, S, or M)

 

Fetishes

 

Kink

 

Playing separately

(aka "hall pass")

 

Play photography

 

Lets make a video

 

Photo exchange

 

Erotic emails

 

Web cams

 

Other, ask me...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Likes it soft Likes it aggressive Talk dirty to me Make me laugh I'm shy Laid back Deep discussions Loves foreplay Tickle me Make the first move, please Be passionate Loves to flirt Casually dressed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

click to manage My Raves >>

 

Check out all the raves! >>

 

 

 

 

click to manage My Q&A's >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Age: 0

Her Play:

Height: Prefer not to say

Weight: Prefer not to say

Body Type: Prefer not to say

 

Age: 36

Birthday: February 23

Preference: Open Minded

His Play: Soft swap - girl/girl

Soft swap - guy/girl

Full swap - situational

Full swap

 

Height: 5'8" - 173cm

Weight: 240lbs - 109kg

Complexion: Beautiful Black

Body Type: A Few Extra Pounds

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Brown

Smokes: No

Drinks: Socially

Sign: Pisces

Hometown: Maywood

High School: Proviso East

Maywood IL

University: Devry

Naperville IL

Computers

 

 

 

 

 

Laid back guy look for fun. Open to all to almost anything been in the lifestyle for almost 4 years and I love it. I have met a lot of great people in the lifestyle and I am looking to meet more.I'm kind of shy to start out with but when you get to know me you find me a shameless flirt. Who is down for most anything. So please drop a line I would love to here from you.

 

 

 

 

 

Couples Single Females

 

I am looking for great wild people who love to have a good time.

 

 

 

 

 

Only visible to people if you have granted them a backstage pass

 

 

 

 

 

Art - Painting/Drawing Audio/Electronics Automobiles Bowling Comedy Comics & Anime Computers & Technology Fishing Golf Movies Music - Listening (specify) Poetry Reading Science Science Fiction & Fantasy Snowmobiles Space Swimming Theater/Performing Arts Video Games Wine Yachting

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rating:

1 = Maybe, but not likely

2 = Sometimes, it depends

3 = I'm game if you are

4 = I enjoy this a LOT

5 = Essential, absolutely part of my play

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rating:

1 = Maybe, but not likely

2 = Sometimes, it depends

3 = I'm game if you are

4 = I enjoy this a LOT

5 = Essential, absolutely part of my play

 

 

Girl/Girl Play

 

Girl/Guy Play

 

Same room play

 

Separate room play

 

No swap,

lets watch each other

 

Flirting

 

Touching

 

Kissing lightly

 

Kissing passionately

 

Hand Jobs

 

Oral Sex

 

Vaginal Sex

 

Anal Sex (giving)

 

Toys

 

Voyeurism, just watching

 

Exhibitionist, being watched

 

Role Playing

 

Erotic massage

 

BDSM

 

Bondage (no D, S, or M)

 

Fetishes

 

Kink

 

Playing separately

(aka "hall pass")

 

Play photography

 

Lets make a video

 

Photo exchange

 

Erotic emails

 

Web cams

 

Other, ask me...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Likes it soft Likes it aggressive Talk dirty to me Make me laugh I'm shy Laid back Deep discussions Loves foreplay Tickle me Make the first move, please Be passionate Loves to flirt Casually dressed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

click to manage My Raves >>

 

Check out all the raves! >>

 

 

 

 

click to manage My Q&A's >>

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Laid back guy look for fun. Open to all to almost anything been in the lifestyle for almost 4 years and I love it. I have met a lot of great people in the lifestyle and I am looking to meet more.I'm kind of shy to start out with but when you get to know me you find me a shameless flirt. Who is down for most anything. So please drop a line I would love to here from you.

 

 

Couples Single Females

 

I am looking for great wild people who love to have a good time.

 

You have a lot of typos in your profile that should be corrected. If that's your natural style of writing, then you'll make a better impression if you fix them and use spell check for all your emails.

 

Here's how I'd correct what you have: Laid back guy looking for fun. Open to almost anything. I have been in the lifestyle for almost 4 years and I love it. I have met a lot of great people and I am looking to meet more. I'm kind of shy to start out with, but when you get to know me I am a shameless flirt who is down for most anything. So please drop me a line, because I would love to here from you.

 

Otherwise, while I'm not familiar with Kasidie's formatting and structure, this seems a little sparse to me. There are a lot of single men out there and your profile isn't doing enough to explain why couples should contact you instead of any of your brethren. Do you love women? Do you understand and respect what couples in the lifestyle are doing? What is the unique thing that you bring that makes you the one people should contact?

 

Anyway, I'm sure you'll get different takes from others, so be patient and see what others have to say! ;)

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Ash, it can be difficult to present ourselves is just a few sentences. Like Maui, I don't know much about Kasadie's site, but I would guess the most successful guys have a bit more on their profile.

 

It appears from what you have pasted above that you certainly do enjoy a wide range of sexual activities...but to me that comes across as indecisive. Maybe hone your interests down to half of what is listed so that others can get a sense if you are a good fit or not. Surely you have some activities you prefer more than others? Perhaps it is clear if you used the rating system, hard to tell here.

 

Let's hope funcoupledayton can get to the profile this weekend since they are familiar with the site.

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Hi everyone I thought I mite post my profile and see what you guys thought about it.

kasidie.com/ash5608

 

Hello,

Nice smile on your photo.

 

There are a lot of grammatical errors:

Laid back guy look for fun. I am a laid back guy looking for fun.Open to all to almost anything I am open to almost anything (do you mean you play with men? bdsm? water sports? because that is how I read it, you need to be careful saying you are open to anything been in the lifestyle for almost 4 years and I love it. I've been...I have met a lot of great people in the lifestyle and I am looking to meet more.I'm kind of shy to start out with but when you get to know me you willfind me to be a shameless flirt. Who is down for most anything get rid of this sentence repeat of above. So please drop a line . I would love to here should be hear from you.

 

You list a lot of interests. Maybe pick one or two and talk about them in your description.

 

Are you single or married or in a relationship?

 

In the what you are looking for section I would describe the type of situation you are looking for. Do you want threesomes with couples where you play with both members or threesomes focused on the woman? Do you like to play at clubs or home? Do you want ongoing friends with benefits or one time thing? Single girls, do you want a relationship?, a partner in crime to swing with as a couple? Do you like to play on the first meet or platonic first meet? Do you participate in gang bangs? Do you play bareback or require condoms?

 

I would review your vanilla interest list. Yachting??! seriously. Your interests seem a little scattered/schizophrenic. I would pare that down a little.

 

Good luck to you.

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Thanks for the advice guys. I redid my description based on what you said. What do you think about this:

 

Laid back guy look for fun. Black male currently single no kids. Been in the lifestyle a few years, and I love it. I have made some good friends and would like to meet more people. I am kind of shy to start out with, but when you get to know me I am a shameless flirt. I love going to bookstores, jazz clubs, bowling, and hanging with my friend at the bar. I love to play video games and have been described as a bit of a nerd. I have been a part of a few gangbangs and some threesomes.

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Thanks for the advice guys. I redid my description based on what you said. What do you think about this:

 

Laid back guy look for fun. Black male currently single no kids. Been in the lifestyle a few years, and I love it. I have made some good friends and would like to meet more people. I am kind of shy to start out with, but when you get to know me I am a shameless flirt. I love going to bookstores, juazz clubs, bowling and hanging with my friend at the bar. I love play video games and have been describe as a bit of a nerd. I have been a part of a few gangbangs and some threesomes

 

How about a little rearranging and typo corrections, like this:

 

Laid back guy looking for fun. I am a black male, currently single with no kids. Kind of shy to start out with, but once you get to know me, I am a shameless flirt. I enjoy going to bookstores, jazz clubs, bowling and hanging with my friends at the bar. I love to play video games and have been described as a bit of a nerd. I have been in the lifestyle a few years, and I love it...I have been a part of a few gangbangs and some threesomes. I have made some good friends and would like to meet more people.

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Funcouple:

 

I have been thinking about what you posted about "the looking for section". What do you think of this:

I am looking for females and couples for friendships and fun. I would like meet a couple who are laid back, but can get wild as well. I have been in threesomes with MFM, but would like to try FMF. I would also like to visit a swing club or two. With single girls I would to start with a friendship and see what develops. I have participated in gangbangs and would love to do more. I am drug and disease free and will use condoms when asked.

 

That the basic idea. I would love to hear everyone's thoughts.

 

Thanks for the help guys and gals.

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Well, SLS hasn't approved my photos yet, but I would like to get some feedback on my profile. Check it out and let me know what you think. Swingergirl985

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Well, your pictures are up:) I think your profile is fine - many people will advise not to focus on the negative, though you've done it so cleverly I think it's endearing. Your personality comes through as intelligent, witty, sarcastic, and playful.

 

I am not the best profile reviewer, so I hope someone else will come along and give you a better critique.

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It comes right through, even to a person who, like me, knows you not at all. After reading your profile, a person will feel that he or she does know you. Not sure it is really worthwhile to warn the World that you have no interest in sex with animals, etc. Nobody at SLS ever seems to suggest or even hint at anything like this. But like Angelkin observed, you decorate the suggestion of a negative so cleverly that I'm sure it will cause no harm to your chances of meeting the right people.

 

If I was not so far out of your stated age range and no nearer than a sixteen-hour drive, reading this profile would have me wanting to hit on ya', for sure. Two thumbs up.

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Thanks for the kind words Angelkin and SW_PA_Couple. I really appreciate the feedback. And SW_PA_Couple, although we are not a perfect match, I still consider it an honor to be hit on by someone so well-spoken and courteous. :)

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Well, SLS hasn't approved my photos yet, but I would like to get some feedback on my profile. Check it out and let me know what you think. Swingergirl985

 

Very nice profile. I like it a lot. I think it will appeal to the type of people you are looking to find.

 

One thing I'd say is that it's a little long. You will get lots of email. You want people who take the time to read it since you really put out there what you are about. If I were you I'd bury a line toward the bottom that tells them to put a phrase like, "Inconceivable! or "Do we have to read the kissing parts?" (I was going to say, "my name is Inigo... but that didn't seem quite fitting, lol.) in the subject line when they contact you so you know they read it. Then you can delete the ones that don't and save time.

 

You would be perfect for our group in Dayton OH! We have some other unicorns and many couples who sound like you.

 

Best wishes and look forward to hearing more from you on the forums!

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funcoupledayton said:
Very nice profile. I like it a lot. I think it will appeal to the type of people you are looking to find.

 

One thing I'd say is that it's a little long. You will get lots of email. You want people who take the time to read it since you really put out there what you are about. If I were you I'd bury a line toward the bottom that tells them to put a phrase like, "Inconceivable! or "Do we have to read the kissing parts?" (I was going to say, "my name is Inigo... but that didn't seem quite fitting, lol.) in the subject line when they contact you so you know they read it. Then you can delete the ones that don't and save time.

 

You would be perfect for our group in Dayton OH! We have some other unicorns and many couples who sound like you.

 

Best wishes and look forward to hearing more from you on the forums!

 

Love the suggestion and I think I will do that since my updated profile is receiving oodles of attention. Also, I might have to make my way to OH one of these days! Hmmmmm :)

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Love the suggestion and I think I will do that since my updated profile is receiving oodles of attention. Also, I might have to make my way to OH one of these days! Hmmmmm :)

 

I think your profile is great. There are some commas where there shouldn't be any and none where there should, but nobody is going to notice. It's exactly the sort of quirky, smart profile that will get a ton of attention, which will increase your chances of meeting quality people. Really nice job.

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Hang tight, I am away from my computer but someone (or I) will take a look soon.

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Would anyone care to review my profile? I'm on SLS under EthicalManSlut86. Thanks

 

I think it looks great. You are clear about who you are and what you are looking for. It's too bad you are so far from us!

 

I hope you continue to share your thoughts and opinions here on the forum.

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I think it looks great. You are clear about who you are and what you are looking for. It's too bad you are so far from us!

 

I hope you continue to share your thoughts and opinions here on the forum.

 

I concur! It's rare that you get a profile review on here and there are no suggestions for improvement, but you nailed it!

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May I ask for a review of my profiles?

 

On Kasidie I'm "RunSilentRunDeep." 

 

On SLS I'm also "RunSilentRunDeep."

 

Those who look -- thank you!

 

-- RSRD

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Owing to the fact that you have not logged in more that 213 days, I was not able to see your profile at SLS. And I am not a member at Kasidie.

 

Your external SLS profile seems to still be in place. From an external, I will not be able to see if you have posted any pictures. If not, you should. Single men (or men who are acting singly in a functional sense at SLS) are not very likely to receive a warm response from anybody unless the messages they send are Charles Dickens prose. Very, very little chance that anybody will contact you. Do put up a picture.

 

You are looking for "mild"? Really? Is there a reason that you do not want intimate contact? If there is, it's not explained in your profile. SLS is not a dating site. People are at SLS because that want sex.

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May I ask for a review of my profiles?

 

Based on your external SLS profile, I think what's there is fine as a starting point, but as SW_PA_Couple pointed out, showing your greatest interest as "Tame" activities sends the message that SLS is not a good fit. And that's kinda the problem with the rest of the profile as well. SLS is a swinger site, meant to be for finding playmates for sex. It's all well and good to say that sex is only a maybe (that's true for everyone, actually) and to discuss how you'd like to keep your marriage strong, but if you're looking for playmates, then you need an entirely different mindset when you're writing it. Who are you, why would couples be interested in you, what are you looking for and why? Definitely address your marriage, although I think it might be useful to not mention in your profile that your wife has no interest in swinging and instead focus on the fact that you have her permission to play. Also, you've activated my pet peeve (and the one thing that will make me close a profile and move on faster than anything else) and left a section blank.

 

Until I understand why you've shown your interests in Tame, etc. the way you have, that's pretty much all I have to say.

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RunSilentRunDeep, thanks for submitting your profile for review.

 

I am hyper-critical on profiles, so here goes. I agree with all the comments above. I went to your profile through my sls account, it is different than the external profile.

 

Your tagline: "Married, Straight and available" in my version. The external profile includes "sane"

I think it's a turn-off, I wouldn't even click on the profile with married as a tagline for a single guy. Even though you have permission, my mind immediately goes to cheater with that tagline. It's not right that that happens, but it does. I look at a ton of single profiles. I am ok with married guys with permission, but I wouldn't open yours. I would leave that off the tagline, put the explanation in the body of the profile.

 

I think straight in the tagline is not necessary.

 

Thank goodness you took out sane. I think anyone who has to proclaim their non-craziness up front is probably a bit crazy.

 

Use your tagline to get attention. Something short and funny or appealing. Maybe something tied to your username, which is unique and interesting.

 

Photo - one partial face photo. A little disconcerting since it's a chopped up face, but nice that you are smiling. If possible I think it's best to have a full body, clothed or swim suit/towel pic or face pic as your main profile pic. You do need a face pic and clothed body shot at least in a private gallery.

 

"The wife wanted to go there with me, because her husband requires a lot of her attention (for various reasons not relevant here) and she hoped that with me she could simply relax and be more flirty and provocative than she is able to be in her everyday life ("mom and middle aged housewife"). - I'd leave this out. It's TMI, not flattering and makes me wonder what you'd say about me to other people if we played.

 

"When we got back to her home, we did nothing beyond soft-swap stuff, but that was OK. That was what we had all agreed-to, and I had no wish to push their boundaries. " I would rephrase this. Maybe - After the club we had a fun soft swap encounter. In the future I'd like to full-swap, but I am comfortable in soft swap situations. The important thing for me is that everyone is upfront and comfortable with their boundaries.

 

"Rules or boundaries? Let's talk." Why can't you succinctly tell me your rules and boundaries? This line makes me uncomfortable. It makes me wonder if you have strange or hard to follow rules.

 

"Yes, I'm married. No, my wife isn't interested in swinging, or in looking for new "friends with benefits." Yes, she knows I'm here, and yes she's good with it." - This sounds defensive, kind of like you have an attitude. I'd tone it down a little. Maybe, My wife and I have an open relationship. She does not swing with me. Then move on to your next sentence about you touching base and her meeting partners.

 

proofreading: "My wife and I embarked on this in 2010" This journey or adventure?

"others' men's" Should be other men's

"I'm would like to." Should be: I would like to

 

 

" As some cheating wives (on other web sites) have been shocked to find out! " To me this is also not necessary. Reads as, "Holier than thou," to me.

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Is the profile RunSilentRunDeep made by the same person as the profile RunSilentRunDeep627? If these two profile are both, indeed, yours, please tell us which of the two you want us to review. I looked at both yesterday and my clear memory is that RunSilentRunDeep627 showed a city-and-state location nowhere near St. Louis and concluded, therefore, that it was not yours.

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Is the profile RunSilentRunDeep made by the same person as the profile RunSilentRunDeep627? If these two profile are both, indeed, yours, please tell us which of the two you want us to review. I looked at both yesterday and my clear memory is that RunSilentRunDeep627 showed a city-and-state location nowhere near St. Louis and concluded, therefore, that it was not yours.

 

Haha! Perhaps someone just got an unsolicited review from me then! The situations are remarkably similar though, and both are in MO.

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Is the profile RunSilentRunDeep made by the same person as the profile RunSilentRunDeep627? If these two profile are both, indeed, yours, please tell us which of the two you want us to review. I looked at both yesterday and my clear memory is that RunSilentRunDeep627 showed a city-and-state location nowhere near St. Louis and concluded, therefore, that it was not yours.
My gosh, I just realized that I had indeed goofed. For some reason, I had trouble recently logging on as RSRD, and created a new SLS account using RSRD627. I had put a lot of thought into my info on this one -- and it was the one I intended to ask people to review.

 

My most abject apologies for the confusion of the people who tried to look. Oh God.

 

I'm now able to get into the RSRD account; I'm going to move my info (and photo(s)) over to it from the RSRD627 account, and close/delete/whatever the 627 account.

 

Once I have done that, I hope you'll be willing to let me ask for another look. Back soon ...

 

... and once again, my most abject apologies. (with a sheepish "Sheesh")

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RunSilentRunDeep, thanks for submitting your profile for review.

 

I am hyper-critical on profiles, so here goes. I agree with all the comments above. I went to your profile through my sls account, it is different than the external profile.

 

Your tagline: "Married, Straight and available" in my version. The external profile includes "sane"

I think it's a turn-off, I wouldn't even click on the profile with married as a tagline for a single guy. Even though you have permission, my mind immediately goes to cheater with that tagline. It's not right that that happens, but it does. I look at a ton of single profiles. I am ok with married guys with permission, but I wouldn't open yours. I would leave that off the tagline, put the explanation in the body of the profile.

 

I think straight in the tagline is not necessary.

 

Thank goodness you took out sane. I think anyone who has to proclaim their non-craziness up front is probably a bit crazy.

 

Use your tagline to get attention. Something short and funny or appealing. Maybe something tied to your username, which is unique and interesting.

 

Photo - one partial face photo. A little disconcerting since it's a chopped up face, but nice that you are smiling. If possible I think it's best to have a full body, clothed or swim suit/towel pic or face pic as your main profile pic. You do need a face pic and clothed body shot at least in a private gallery.

 

"The wife wanted to go there with me, because her husband requires a lot of her attention (for various reasons not relevant here) and she hoped that with me she could simply relax and be more flirty and provocative than she is able to be in her everyday life ("mom and middle aged housewife"). - I'd leave this out. It's TMI, not flattering and makes me wonder what you'd say about me to other people if we played.

 

"When we got back to her home, we did nothing beyond soft-swap stuff, but that was OK. That was what we had all agreed-to, and I had no wish to push their boundaries. " I would rephrase this. Maybe - After the club we had a fun soft swap encounter. In the future I'd like to full-swap, but I am comfortable in soft swap situations. The important thing for me is that everyone is upfront and comfortable with their boundaries.

 

"Rules or boundaries? Let's talk." Why can't you succinctly tell me your rules and boundaries? This line makes me uncomfortable. It makes me wonder if you have strange or hard to follow rules.

 

"Yes, I'm married. No, my wife isn't interested in swinging, or in looking for new "friends with benefits." Yes, she knows I'm here, and yes she's good with it." - This sounds defensive, kind of like you have an attitude. I'd tone it down a little. Maybe, My wife and I have an open relationship. She does not swing with me. Then move on to your next sentence about you touching base and her meeting partners.

 

proofreading: "My wife and I embarked on this in 2010" This journey or adventure?

"others' men's" Should be other men's

"I'm would like to." Should be: I would like to

 

 

" As some cheating wives (on other web sites) have been shocked to find out! " To me this is also not necessary. Reads as, "Holier than thou," to me.

 

Thank you very, very much! I'm glad you were hyper critical, and I'm glad you found the profile I had recently updated!

 

I'm going through it now, to reflect your very helpful comments.

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HO kay! "RSRD" SLS account updated with the entries I had meant to make -- clipped photo added -- remarks already made incorporated.

 

I need to sit back and think about how publicly I want a full face or full body photo to be visible there. As a non-paying member, I can't keep any photos private ... and my wife is worried about some local swingers who might think she is "available" to them, if they see me on the site.

 

If anyone would be willing to take another look, I would be very grateful.

 

Thanks,

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I did not see the previous version of your profile and I'm just looking at the external version of your profile now (so no pic). I do have a couple of thoughts. I would truncate the military experience down to the first sentence stating that you served and in what branch, and the follow-up of why you chose your username.

 

I have not yet played with a couple

This is confusing. Did you mean that you have not had a full-swap situation with a couple? I had gathered early on that you had played with couples but that was no sex between you and the female. If that is the case, I would suggest you reword that sentence.

 

Other than that, it looked really good and I enjoyed reading your profile (which says a lot).

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I did not see the previous version of your profile and I'm just looking at the external version of your profile now (so no pic). I do have a couple of thoughts. I would truncate the military experience down to the first sentence stating that you served and in what branch, and the follow-up of why you chose your username.

 

 

This is confusing. Did you mean that you have not had a full-swap situation with a couple? I had gathered early on that you had played with couples but that was no sex between you and the female. If that is the case, I would suggest you reword that sentence.

 

Other than that, it looked really good and I enjoyed reading your profile (which says a lot).

Thank you for your feedback. It is good to find out what wordings are not clear-and-obvious to another person. It is also good to find out what passages might make a reader's eyes glaze over (also known as the EGO effect -- Eyes Glaze Over effect).

 

And I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! :)

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