Swinging before you are swinging

A lot of folks mention that they were basically "swinging" before they knew there was a name for it or before they realized that there was an entire community of other people who are interested in the same things. They basically just stumbled upon it. While others stumble upon a site like this or a story or a book and discover it and go from there.

So which was it for you?

Were you swinging before you discovered what swinging was?

Or did you learn what swinging was first, then look to swing?

We had a few experiences before we started to consider ourselves swingers.

We knew what swingers meant but didn't really consider ourselves swingers until we looked into actualy seeking out another couple instead of just kind of swiinging by chance.

Mrs naughty looked into it first. We had talked about the idea of swinging and she looked on the internet to find out what swinging actualy was.

She told me from what she read we are definately swingers. So I started looking around and found this site. And she was right.

We are going to our first "official" swingers event next weekend.

I definately knew I was getting into swinging when I got into it. Lee had been involved in the Lifestyle long before I had ever met him. He presented the concept of swinging to me in a very low pressure and informative way and I agreed to at least check it out.... Turns out I was hooked from the very first time we visited a club

On an amusing side note here.... At least once a month I get contacted by couples I dont know on yahoo that are looking for another couple or single woman to play with. If I try to send them to any local yahoo swingers groups, or even when I try to send them to SwingersBoard so they can get more info...quite often they actually get offended and tell me "we are NOT swingers, we just enjoy sex with other couples occasionally" Go figure!!!!!

My husband and I talked about it for awhile. Then checked into it...of course we just wanted the infamous single bi female. So we started a yahoo group, and went from there.

We didnt understand "swinging" until after a couple of meet n greets. We were lifestyle stupid lol.

Originally posted by JustAskJulie

Were you swinging before you discovered what swinging was?

That would be us.

We started playing with others over 20 years ago while living in California. Had no idea it was called swinging, only that it was fun. Moved back to this small town, took a break (about 15 years) then Ted brought home the URL to a web site about a local Swingers social and two weeks later we were there.

Mrs naughty here-

I'm not sure why, but I hate that word 'swinger'

I prefer being called a bad girl!!

We started swinging before we knew anything about the lifestyle. I always thought that "swingers" were something that faded out with the seventies, until a friend turned us on to SLS and I eventually found my way here.

I was swinging long before I even knew swinging existed. I was a groupie soapbox in a former life

I think my past has a lot to do with my penchant for multiple partners in the present.

Long, long ago, in my youth , I was involved in a 'swap' with my girfriend-of-the-moment and some friends. This was long before I knew anything about swinging (I was about 20 or so.) Unfortunately, the evening came crashing down when, at the sight of her boyfriend banging my girlfriend, my friend freaked out and that was that.

Let's see -- my first "swinging" experiences... The first one happened because I was dating two guys at the same time when I was (well I was young) -- they knew each other and decided we should just have a little party... really fun MFM though none of us knew what to do...

Then one of these guys got himself an extra GF too (if I could he could thing) and he brought her over and we had an MFMF MFM FMF FMFM FF... etc...

By this time I realized that I like the attention of more than one person in bed at a time....

I had my first threesome 12 years ago and a couple months after that my husband and I "swapped" partners. I never knew it as anything but swapping, maybe even wife swapping. We continued to have a few of these experiences from threesomes to fivesomes. Five years ago my new husband and I experimented a little with others but it still wasn't swinging. I don't know what I learned the term "swinger" but a year ago when we were looking for play partners the word "swinger" is what I put on the google search. I do like it better that "swapping partners" but I still don't care for it. I don't like "The Lifestyle" either because it's not my lifestyle (except I spend a lot of time on the computer reading/posting about it )

We are new and enterered the "lifestyle" via the computer, so we always knew it as swinging. I like describing our activities as "being naughty" The word "Swinging" still doesn't sound right to me.

We started swinging after we knew what it was, but we really didn't call it "swinging". Mostly we talked about threesomes and what the possibility of our neighbors ever swapping with us. Stuff like that. I don't think we ever said "hey, you wanna' swing?" We started then discovered it had a name. We had never even heard the term "lifestyle" used for swingers.

Isn't this interesting? It seems as though nobody really likes the term 'swinging'. And, we're all here on the swingersboard.

And really the other terms like, lifestyle, wife swapping, open marriage, and others aren't that acceptable to 'swingers' either. Or apparently most 'swingers' anyway.

Reading the posts I think that there are some horny men looking for sex through 'swinging'.

There are some folks looking for bi women through 'swinging'.

There are some people going long with their spouse for the sake of the marriage through 'swinging'.

And there are those who simply want to prove they're daring through 'swinging'.

But these are the folks who make the terms unacceptable to most of us who were just born to be 'swingers'. Those of us who'd just about as soon be celibate as monogamous. Those of us who can enjoy an emotionally monogamous marriage but also enjoy physical pleasures with others and enjoy knowing our partner is doing the same. I really think that there are those of us who really are 'swingers'. But lifestyle? Well, that seems to sound like your whole world revolves around 'swinging' situations, doesn't it? Maybe the under 25 crowd could use 'Swinging Lifestyle' but after that I tend to think that most of us do, and think about, other things too every now and then. LOL!

I, personally, prefer to say that I'm just very open-minded to sex. If you do a Google on 'open minded' you'll get some of the same results as 'lifestyle' and 'swinger'.

I just had another thought that relates to this thread...

I had an aunt and uncle who were always the talk of the family. It seems that there sexual promiscuity's were not kept totally private.

As a kid I'd hear about them having another woman friend or other couples around that the whole family knew weren't just platonic. I always thought it was cool and I liked them both very much. I never heard of either of them doing anything wrong other than this.

When I first heard about 'wife swappers' I thought of them realized that this is exactly what they were. They were 'swingers' long before the term was common place.

And, they were the happiest couple of all my family, including my prude parents! I may have developed my own attitudes by their example.

I don't know about y'all, but if threesomes count as swinging, then wouldn't many people first experience this in college? I know that is when I did! Once I was away from my parents, and far away, of course I went a bit wild. For me, college was a chance to experience all those things I could never have done back home. (Yeah, it was also time to get edju-mah-cated, but who really paid attention to that?)

Anyhow, this is where I began to discover not only my desire for other women, but also my penchant for threesomes. Although my fmf experience during this time was limited to only a few times, I learned a lot about my own budding bi-sexuality.

Now, many years later, after finding my wonderful husband, and discovering our mutual desire to investigate the swinging lifestyle, I have again had the opportunity to explore my and our sexuality together. It has only been through this journey with Mr. Xx2 that I have learned that my previous experiences were just a precursor to who I am. If it is a swinger, so be it. It may not be a term everyone in the lifestyle prefers, but it is what it is, as am I.

After all of this talking and getting to know ya'll, I finally figured out that I did do some swing type stuff in my ahem, younger years. Had a soft swap 2 different times with an ex of mine and 2 seperate groups of friends, and then on 2 different occasions was with another girl giving a guy head....so I guess that falls under the babystep swinging category. But I know that my future experiences with James will be 10 times better because of the love and commitment to each other.

Well folks, we were swinging before we knew it was called swinging. And we didn't know there were such a large amount of people doing it.

But we've still got to meet genuine people on the net...one meet since 2 yrs advertising....the rest?? A bunch of time wasters.

But our time will come.

Meanwhile we are sticking with the folks we know already, those we were swinging with before we knew what swinging was.

In France, the term is "Libertin", meaning open-minded; so you are quite right, although the sound of swinging is much better to say and hear to us a french couple than the french term.

Angel started swinging in highschool she just didn't know it. The details have been posted before but in a nut shell she had a clique of friends and everyone in the clique had sex with everyone else (excluding MM). If there was an odd number then someone got a FMF or MFM.

I had a couple of expierences in HS also but it was either same room or changing girlfriends. It was different during my military days in the early '80's. Being a barracks rat same room sex was a given as was inviting a lonely roommate (mine or hers) to join.

The closest thing to swinging that I ever did in my early years was once when I was spending the night with a friend. There was a guy that we both wanted and somehow we convinced him to stay the night with us and he slept in the middle. I remember rubbing him and as my hand moved more towards her side of him I ran into her. Nothing more than touching (mostly of him) happened. That guy probably could have had a threesome if he'd acted on it.

I remember back when we got started. We had been married about 4 years and we had a friend from college who we knew was a little different. She started telling us about this party she went to with her boyfriend at the time and we were astonished that we knew someone who would do that. We were just having a conversation with this friend one day and she said how hot it would be if she could watch us one day. Not wanting an opportunity to pass by, we jumped right into it and needless to say, she did a little more than watch. Later, we went to the beach and shared a condo with her and her boyfriend and they started in their bed and we got turned on and started in ours. By the time the night was over we were all in the same bed. We never really thought of ourselves as swingers, just a young couple exploring and having fun. The sad part is once her friend moved away, we were never able to find anyone else who shared our desire.

Even by my mid-teens, I knew what swinging was just from books, and also dating a girl whose parents were the talk of the town for a while when an ugly divorce getting uglier with all sorts of rumors flying around town about the parties they used to have at their house and what might have led to the divorce. A lot of it was the usual bullshit of people just piling on someone else's bad times, but we would talk to me about it, and there probably was some element of truth she thought.

So, when "the talk" happened between me and mrs cplnuswing, swinging is the term that was used even though we didn't have any direct experience ourselves.

... Were you swinging before you discovered what swinging was?

 

Or did you learn what swinging was first, then look to swing?

We knew what swinging was, but hadn't decide to become swingers at first. We just always found it exciting to talk about the sex we had with exes before we met, the good ones. I just asked my wife if she'd like to fuck any of them again. She said "Yeah!" I said go ahead, and that's how it was for a while. It was easy for me because she had already fucked them anyway. We were honest about me knowing, and it developed into MFMs.

After that we explored everything else.

One thing that struck us immediately was the lightness of it all. It was great fun without any of the usual relationship anxiety. It has continued that way - both of us free to engage in fun without worrying about it affecting our marriage.

Thinking back yes. Not at the level today.

From early to late teens participation in M/F mixed group 3 or more, sharing/swapping:

Variety of kissing games, sin the bottle etc.

Truth or dare....got far more interesting as we got a year or two older.

Early on, various versions of time and how we were paired, in a closet or adjacent room or area. What went on with who expanded over the years.

Strip poker.

Strip poker with a twist of what you where willing to do as a bet.

High Low draw. Many variations.

Skinny dipping, skinny dipping with touch or making out in the water. Sunbathing semi and nude

Group couples same room, car parking, drive in, camping

The changing of partners or sharing mixed in fairly often in theses games and with a variety activity.

Oral was the exception not the norm. Manual was very common and until some point later in high school penetrative sex, penis vagina was not often at all everyone scared of pregnancy and was considered to private in most cases.

Sex play? Depends on your definition of sex is. But most anyone who has since raised children would count all the above.

First MFM summer of my fifteenth year and more of taking turns. Second in my late teens, my now bride, very close friend and I. More experience, more activity. Over twenty years before it would happen again.

Never experienced a FMF until I was in my forties.

This wasn’t common. We happened to have some close and curious friends. Certainly wasn’t the norm in the early to mid seventies.

Fast forward we have participated in many of these games with a very much higher adult twist to them at various events, gatherings and parties.

A prelude.....I think it was.

Were you swinging before you discovered what swinging was?

It just came natural for us. It was just a fun thing to do when we partied. We didn't know there was a term/label for it.

When I look back, we kind of eased into it but really weren’t swinging until we did with our first MFM. I mean, along the way I got a bit comfortable with light exhibitionism, take my top off for my bf (now husband) and a buddy, dancing topless and less at the Garden of Eden, etc. And then I can remember meeting a couple in Key West who then had two more couples meeting up them, hanging with them all for a couple of evenings out, hitting a strip club and some how getting switched around so my BF was standing behind her and her husband was standing behind me with his hands on my breasts and playing with my ass but thinking that’s ok, and then seeing my bf doing the same with his wife so, again, thinking this is ok. That kind of stuff.