2cute2care

What happens once your wife does get pregnant with someone else's baby? Will the other guy then have any relationship with the baby, will the baby know you as his real dad or the other man? If the other man has contact what will you tell your family, the baby already will resemble you in no way! Could you really love that child, as it would be a constant 18 year reminder of your wife screwing someone else and having their child in her for 9 months. If so, then what about the baby once it's born, say you and the mrs have problems and end up splitting (I know you are not planning on it, but preparation is needed here). Will you still raise the child as your own if you two split, or tell her it is all hers as she couldn't draw child support or pass a dna test with it anyhow? Then what about the child, it wasn't asked into this world to be raised by one parent.. If you wanna do this, great, good luck, I wish you both the best, but make sure you definitely think out all those long and hard before you even consider because once she's pregnant, then it is too late. There's my two cents, take it as you will.

OK liquid, well then i was wrong -ill give u that im sorry..i cant honestly say what will ever happen again alura-cause right now i dont know..in some ways i think it would be cool cause they are a attractive couple but in the other sense, they are friends and i know if we continue to swing with them or something happens that any of the four of us finds uncool then we may very well lose a friendship over it, so right now i dont know if i ever do wish for something like that to happen again. but i agree IF anything was ever to happen again it would have to be talked out way before hand-

well not to be rude but i think thats why i said WE STOPED SWINGING!!! IM NOT THE ONE WHO SAID HEY LETS GET BACK INTO it, had u of read my posts like everyone else on here since day one u would have read that part. why do u think i came looking for advice in the first place? i know exactly what i want, but im with someone who auto changes how things are thats why i started posting on here, please if ur gonna comment read my whole post cuase i dont think u understand at all.

-to be honest i dont know, i hate to say great and turn around two days from now and have another breakdown lol..were talking more but i still think were a long way from where we need to be ---thanks for asking though c(:

no wildflower, u made perfect sense! i understand what ur saying completly..the other guy did know that we used to be swingers yes, so he just assumed i think more or less that it would be ok, thats why he came to us cuase they had never done anything with another couple and thought it would be more comfortable to do something with us--and i dont mind that it happened, im over all of it now at first i was just like WAIT HOLD UP, we said we werent gonna swing anymore and we didnt agree on it before they came, so i just felt soo left out..

you absoltuely right 2N! Hubby and I did talk through all of this last night, he had no idea at all how hurt i was i dont think-and he said if its ever going to happen again, we talk about that situation , couple, whatever were thinking of doing long in advance not mins before it could happen, that way theres no more spur of the moment things where i just feel left out, and if the time does come for a spur of the moment then he said i could bring it up if i was really interested--otherwise that night its not gonna happen. as far as the drinking, its not fair to say were drunk everytime cause we have been sober when things have occured, i think we both just tend to be a lil more frisky and adventurous after a couple beers and thats why like this time it occured. u live and u learn, thanks for ur insight.

2N, Got ur questions, here is ur answers: How long ago did what happen? the incident or us to agree to hold off on swinging? the incident -- 5 days ago, when we agreed--couple months ago my husband and i have been together 7 years married for 2 1/2 of those. the relationship we have with the other couple is a lil hard to summarize. we have known the guy in the relaitonship for quite some time-the girl he is with now we really dont know at all as he just got divorced and starting dating her within this last year, but we have known him from before when he was married so id say a good 3-4 years or so. what led me to persue swinging i guess was, my husband said he got off fantasizing about me with other men, he loved me and wanted to make it happen. im more of a freak in bed so two guys at once? come on more or less it all got the better of me and i accepted, havent ever had a bad time sexually so swinging just all kind of fell in from there. we've had a rocky marriage. i wont hide behind walls and sit here and tell u its all been great, cuase thats not true, but to sit here and tell u why we decided to stop swinging all the incidents, could take forever and be really confusing unless i give details, so to sum it up we were one pen away from signging for divorce at one time, kinda tried working on it and got back together and thats when we agreed we needed to work on us as a couple before we swung with other couples. hope ive answered all ur quesitons , talk to u soon 2cute

haha if that's the case, where do I sign up as one of the ten?

I agree, it is definitely easy for women, but here again could one man really satisfy ten women all at once without someone getting disappointed? It is easier for a woman to get a lot of guys off at one time than it is a man-not to mention more guys i think just know about this lifestyle. I know i had no idea it even existed until my husband brought it to my attention when we were engaged.

I think cheating is doing something u know ur partner would not approve of with someone else, plain and simple. Cheating isnt necessarily kissing someone, or flirting on the internet, or even screwing someone else for that matter, if u and ur partner agree thats ok, but I think that if ur partner says no doing this or that, and then u go and do that-ur cheating! thats how we look at it, because to us its all about honesty and being upfront cuase the way we see it is if u have to sneak around to do it, then u shouldnt be doing it in the first place-- just my two sense, take it as u will

well im glad i made way for a grewat discussion all of u have given me great insight and different aspects, ways to look at this matter, so thank you so much. you have no idea how much u have helped me deal with this and debating whether to talk it out with him or not, you all have made it easier in some weird way, so thank you. I will definetly stay on this board. ur right, communicate-the answers really simple to say just so hard to get across when interacting with another, but if were gonna keep swinging part of our lifestyle then we just gotta talk it all out--plain and simple. thanks again

DandS, I did somewhat discuss it all with him the other night yes. I tried my best to, but like most times he just seems to tune me out whenever i want to sit down with him because i have a problem with something. He takes things very different, is very carefree, unemotional alota times whereas things bother me alot easier and i always want to talk and talk and talk things out until im positive we come to a solution. he said he doesnt feel he did pressure me that the other guy was the one who ended up talking me into it in the end. nothing about not swinging was mentioned--so yes i have tried tlaking to him but i feel like im talking to a wall, and since this incident we havent had sex at all, my choice more or less, but i guess i just in a way feel used by him, like i dunno why are we still a couple if were gonna live for our own benefit, ive been selfish during our marriage dont get me wrong, i am in no way perfect and to say ive been the best wife ever would be the farthest thing from the truth, and maybe him reacting to there invitiation like he did got me to wake up and see all of this, i dont know i know i love him im sure of that, i just wish talking to him came easier and he'd listen...

I've read all the responses to this, and seems theres a battle amongst because of this issue, so perhaps I should expand. When we first started swinging, yes it was agreed I would get other men, have mfm's and that was all, UNLESS I and he both agreed on a couple together, then I had a couple handfuls of other men and we hadnt really found any couples that we both agreed upon, my husband decided he didnt like the way he felt after watching me with men, or that was what he said, i do believe yes he felt a little cheated, but we agreed to stop swinging, it would just be the two of us till way later in our lives when we both trusted each other completly and were 100% in love as our marriage was rocky. So now a few months later, friends we havent seen in awhile come over and this is the point we are to now as I am speaking of about all of a sudden its ok again. Both of us getting some wasnt the picture in the beginning, but had he of come to me at any time and said he really wanted someone i would have given that to him i love him with all my heart, and Im not bothered that he was with someone else, watching it-thinking about it--its all fine to me, im not upset about any of that. Im really just confused about the whole how it wasnt ok, then at his convience all of a sudden it is and i should just have to accept it. I talked to him last night and he him jumping the gun like that wouldnt happen again, but Im just sort of feeling like if this is how swinging is going to be, one of us says yes so now the other has to go along with it, then i dont want to....i dont think it should be about that, and thats why i came on here for advice, to see if i was overreacting or not, not to start a battle so im sorry if its come to that-

i really agree with what spoomonkey said..i even said to him not right now, maybe next weekend cause i just felt so pressured with him blaming me that i wasnt being fair that i had other people and he hasnt yet, and i did feel bad about that-but we havent talked to these friends in prolly six months, they just showed up at our house unexpected sunday and i felt violated in a way if that makes sense..i didnt want to do anything i dont know i would say ever, but at that time because i felt pressured, insecure and i just wasnt completly into it. -- ive always in the back of my mind waited for the "you owe me card", and i always heard i would never get it , that we were closing that chapter of our lives(swinging) until way later in life, and then spur of the moment its reopened by his choice? i dont know, part of me feels so unfair to him cause i have had more partners since we opened this part of our lives, but in another sense i just feel violated too. i did talk to him and he just tells me he wishes it never happened becuase she was terrible and just laid there (the other woman)--not that next time i will have a say so other than everyone around me getting naked while i just sit there wishing anytime i would wake up from my nightmare.. he tried to blame me for kissing the other guy and riding him so hard that he and the other girl felt jealous...first of all i didnt even want to do this , then i get blamed im too good? i appreciate ur comments, thank u to all of u-i think me and my husband just lack a ton of communication about what we expect when swinging i just dont really know a clear way how to change that :\

hi guys..im pretty new to this site.. My husband and I agreed about a year ago that we would start swinging together, this was his idea. So for the last year, I have had a handful of different men in which we have both been there and participated during the events. Well last night a good friend of ours came over with his girl whom is pregnant and they just decided that they wanted to start swinging. My husband and I agreed about two months ago that we would no longer swing as it was hard for him to find someone and he didnt feel right or like the way it made him feel watching me with other men, which is all fine to me, i was willing to stop. Then all of a sudden last night we were all sitting around drinking and they really wanted to experiment with us and my husband Ray was all into it, willing as could be and I just didnt feel right. We went in the other room to talk and he threw it at me that Ive had other poeple and I Just didnt want this because he was going to get someone. so i agreed to go along with it knowing that had i not of been drunk theres no way i ever would have. so we all in fact ended up switching partners and watching him with her wasnt really all that bad but now today that i am sober it all just feels weird to me. Both of them are somewhat friends we hang out with every now and again and I dont know i feel right hanging out with them anymore. I dont even know why I feel liek this and my feelings are all kind of boggled on the whole situation. Dont get me wrong the other guy was good so I didnt have a bad time, but its just different to me now, like i dont know where our realtionship is going, if i should be mad at my husband for making me go through with it just so he could get some pussy, or mad at myself for ever starting to swing in the first place. is this just a normal thing after watching ur man with another woman for the first time? will it fade in time or am i just not cut out for swinging? I love doing it providing that i have been drinking but the next day it just keeps playing in my mind-guess im worried now that there friends they will do things when im not around and ill be left out or it will be a continous thing, i dunno maybe im being silly -any advice at all id appreciate it ..thanks