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realcplub2

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realcplub2 last won the day on February 25 2022

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About realcplub2

  • Rank
    Super Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Hudson Valley NY
  • Swinging Experience
    over 10 years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    putnamcocpl
  • Favorite Club(s)
    The Fantasy House

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  1. There are great resources right here on this site.. Many to inform.. Ultimately, getting input from other women, while sure because you are asking here you will get positive re-enforcement, there are a few stumbling blocks, that again go back to whats between you both. Sharing fantasies, between couples is always positive. When we suggested you needed to talk without distraction, we meant far far away from a bedroom, in as vanilla a setting as you can get.. Car rides worked for us.. When we started we had kids, and finding non bedroom alone time was a bitch.. appointments with a sitter to watch the kids even for an hour, helped greatly. New people starting into this, need to discuss more than worries about feelings. Which to be sure is going to come up and no matter how confident you are in how you THINK you are going to feel during or after, you can not predict it. Little things may hit you both.. the new partner may do something that drives her wild, making her moan like never before.. see what we are getting at.. when starting jealousy can and usually does pop up.. the way around it is , again.. talk.. Now, to the other advice, Never give out personal contact information, to a initial play partner.. Never share last names in the first date, Never share personal details of where either of you work, what you do.. Your choice to enter into this world , should not endanger your home life.. Security from being semi anonymous. Make rules, for some, meeting new playmates some make the rule, no play on the first date, for others the other end of the spectrum is to dive into the deep end and go to a club.. you and her personal rules, and deciding how you go about it if it happens and who participates, vaginal sex or just oral, condoms no condoms, kissing or no kissing, Yes it takes the spontaneity out of it, but it also protects the home base, your relationship. A night of fucking someone can be fun , For a night, destroying what you already have not.
  2. ok, lets break this down honestly, YOU, the husband wrote this, and want affirmation that you are doing it right, RIGHT? You arent, and are asking for problems. Setting this up WITHOUT her input, choices, ECT, is the worst thing you can do.. If you want this to work, make the choice WITH her, Discuss EVERYTHING before that choice is even considered.. Women, sometimes because of upbringing, parental teaching, church/religious beliefs not only have a hard time ENJOYING sex, but often confuse extra curricular sex with feelings, instead of an enjoyable physical activity. You say "Because the wife is nervous of how the husband will react after." Well, that would depend on how HE paints the picture to her.. Suggestion is, discuss this with each other honestly, FAR FAR FAR away from the bedroom.. in a situation with no interruptions distractions.. and be honest with each other, and accept the answers.. if more time to consider is asked for, give it.. if its not now.. accept it.. If its maybe, then both of you do the search, and one final RULE, regardless of what HE wants thinks .. if you meet another guy and SHE isnt into it, its NO.. Find someone else
  3. Quite agree... One thing that is GOING TO SURPRISE you is, there are more of us out there, and yes in your area, so, do a bit of looking before you drop money..
  4. Ok, first to answer the above question Yes, and be honest with her, as you would anyone else within the lifestyle. The ages of your friends is the hurdle for her. You said originally you and your husband started 12 years ago, putting you at about 30? AT that time, would have considered someone 60+.. Thats the first concern. Like i said, be honest with her, to some swinging can be like a candy store, esp given her age.. Stress that she has the right to say no over and over again.. Like I said before, a 19 yr old in a club is going to draw alot of male attention from guys that in some cases if not most cases are twice her age.. again.. No means No
  5. All too often, we see these questions, and yes, the answers based on the Alpha male brain.. Centuries ago, Roman soldiers engaged in bisexual play, and went home to wives and families.. Hmm seems to me if you spend your days raising cities and conquering people, and your nights .. well.. what happens in the tent stays in the tent.. Recently read thru the post, Why do some men try to force their wives to be bisexual? , and another asking Are we swingers or something else? Seems to me, we the freest of thinkers , the current sexually liberated generation are too hung up on what we call ourselves.. LGTBQ, all seek acceptance.. We get it.. But, why seek labels? We are human, and SEXUAL BEINGS, enjoy whatever you wish, DO WHATEVER YOU WISH WITH A CONCENTING PARTNER OR PARTNERS.. Be Sexual.. focus less on the gender and more on the experience
  6. Oh yes there are.. and some masquerade as bi.. we met a guy for a MFM years ago, and he got hard sucking Mr Real, but lost it when Mrs went down on him, and other than a casual playing of the nipples, hands never went south never touched her pussy, but went back after Mr's Cock
  7. Our thinking as well, wading into a pool is one thing.. Jumping into the deep end is another.. While we are joining the conversation a bit late the council we would have given is simple this.. As much talk as you had going in, needs to be held coming out.. Her apparent enjoyment and the backstory given, are a harsh mental conflict.. Being supportive and re enforcing the positives rather than the mental negatives she may be having.. For some women, getting past the enjoyment of the moment followed by the personal criticism of how they feel they will be judged or judging themselves by the yardstick they were raised by can be daunting. Then there is the flip side, which again, should have been discussed at length going in and coming out, Her enjoyment of getting fucked, cumming for the first time vaginally, a larger cock.. again, perhaps she is asking herself what have I been missing? Its up to the Husband who coherence her into this, to hopefully have explained the dynamics of opening a relationship. Of understanding its sex, not a instance to throw away a lifetime.
  8. Thats better than Honeybee health, 30X5mg 39.99
  9. Too True! this isnt the 70s with the singles bars, lol
  10. Welcome The first thought is, you and He need to really sit down and talk about your personal "rules for the road". Y. But your comfort level, and his may be different, which need to be discussed. How each of us approaches our personal swinging life, is very different. Ultimately, you and he need to decide whats right for you, even if its just at this moment. As to his participation, thats a part of what we suggest you question further as to the why's, and what he may or may not want to do, WHO he may or may not want.. again we are all different and different criteria that turns us on.
  11. Its totally you .. We had good friends we made in the lifestyle ghost us, and we had another couple explain they were having issues and asked us to understand, we certainly did, and stepped back.. months went by and the next contact was to ask if Mr Real would come for a 3some.. and we politely explained the same we do when the flip side occurs.. you want one you get both.. And then they broke up, he was screwing around outside the relationship Courtesy sure, but there are times when it happens and if they are truly friends of yours they will respect it and step back...
  12. Alright, since this is POST GAME here is where our suggestions are We all come up with rules, that as you go further into the lifestyle get either broken or flat out taken off the table.. Soft swap, is fine if you arent ready to go all the way.. but the problem then becomes stopping everything to have a convo, when such a change should have been discussed as a possibility long before taking your shoes off The other issue, just from reading your post is, if one or the other isnt into the other play partner, why are you doing it? Swinging, is a great activity but its also like dating, where 4 people have to have some attraction for the bio chemical reaction to happen down below.. If your husband was fine with everything up until fucking, the issue is what he wasnt into that caused him to lose wood.. If it was your choice to go full in the moment then he should have called a flag on the play and yes, stopped Since we are Post Game now, the other part of this is the convo you both should have had 20 minutes after you left the room that this happened in, what happened, why, and then talk some more.. Our first full swap happened over New Years eve, ages ago, where we all met at a hotel celebrated the new year, then started the new year with a bang so to speak.. in the morning when we left for the ride home, the moment we hit the car, we started talking.. She wasnt that into the other guy (way older), and He really wasnt that into the other woman (older and plus sized) but we had a good time ( it was sex, like pizza, even if its bad its still good ) it was a 45 minute ride home, and we talked the whole way, and after we sent the babysitter home for hours after.. We decided on new rules, and how we would do things, little signals for pre game and for during. So as of this writing its months later, and feelings that were hurt may have healed a bit.. but the convo still has to happen.. if you are going to try again To fuck or not to fuck that is the question
  13. My friend, why are you looking to define yourselves? The experiences you have had, were they enjoyable to you both? Did the other partners enjoy themselves? How we define ourselves within our relationships, is the first step. Do you both enjoy what you have done, and want to do more, or find new play partners? Here is the term we coined years ago.. and you are more than welcome to borrow We enjoy SEXPLORATION...
  14. Well my friend, the key question is, why you are interested in it? who, mom? sister? cousin? The next question is why? With all the people out there, hell in this lifestyle, why are you trolling the family BBQ? A point we never quite understood, with all the men, women out there, why look within the bloodline.. 30 seconds on AFF or SLS and there ya go
  15. Wow, a lot of food for thought with this one.. Putting ourselves in your position isnt that hard, Our oldest found out about us, when he was in his 20s. And while it was an interesting few months of questions out of nowhere, it led to his own sexploration the break up of a short marriage and his current relationship (over 14 year) with the BiF that they invited into their bedroom. But, thats our son, if it was our daughter.. again food for thought Ok, here is where we came around to on this topic.. Think in terms of way back when she was learning to ride a bike.. you helped her after the training wheels came off, and after that she was on her own.. Same applies here.. Be supportive, explain anything and everything, Hell Point her HERE to ask.. but be clear on the points of not wanting to be in the moment with her in the same building, or vise versa.. Being she is the age she is, yes the Sharks or maybe more to the point the Leisure Suit Larrys will be circling.. Make sure she know the NO mean No rules in any club, or even private setting.. and the true meaning of the word DISCRETION.. i think back to the conversations with first our son, then the awkward questions from his wife, again, awkward.. esp when we saw the end before they did. But more importantly the teenage conversations our daughter had on the phone with her girlfriends, when she didnt think we were listening.. She told you of her sexploration last summer, which probably outted her girlfriend to you.. Our chief concern would be your daughter sharing her new found knowledge with other girlfriends and the next thing you know ... You both are in the spotlight as the "tour guides" Hence the reasoning of learning to ride a bike.. yes point her in the safe direction, but be clear on YOUR boundaries, and come up with a new set of rules, and a clear way of signaling to her, you are out to play, or she is
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