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Thread: Why bareback?

  1. #26
    Swap Meet Enthusiast Dont.Stop's Avatar
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    dontstoporlando

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Quote Originally Posted by bbarnsworth View Post
    A fun related note; I've recently had a health issue that could have potentially been caused by an STD, though a somewhat low chance. Other possibilities weren't providing an answer, and the doctor was puzzled. So, I asked for an STD test, checking off a number of STDs for which I wanted to be checked. My doctor knows I've been married for quite a long while now, so he was perplexed. I could see him begin to form the question on his lips, but he never brought himself to ask. It was hard not to smile Everything came back clean thankfully.
    I'm of the belief that there is no good reason not to tell your doctor that you are non-monogamous. My wife and I have the same general physician and it's in our records. I don't have to blurt out "Hey, we're swingers!" but he knows what I do for a living, what my hobbies are and enough background on my sex life so that he can consider that when suggesting tests and examining results.
    You say "oral fixation" like it's a bad thing!

  2. #27

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Quote Originally Posted by padoc View Post
    Selectivity is the key. Random partners and mechanical sex has never been for us. We share intimacy with our playmates and are more than reasonably certain that they are disease free. Condoms reduce the level of intimacy for us and are a firm rule on those few occasions that we attend and play at on premises clubs. All of life is a risk, most hobbies, even knitting, entail some risk so we strive to eliminate the risk of STD through our selection process. So far its worked..
    Ok.. what would you suggest for someone like me? Maybe I don't have the right to participate. Do I try to find couples who have hsv2? What if they have something in addition to that. So I guess everyone interested in one another should head to the doctor to get tested.. then just stay monogamous in that group...

  3. #28
    Swingers Board Addict padoc's Avatar
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    padoc

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    I don't think this is a rights issue. You can do whatever you want to do however, decency, courtesy and simple humanity dictates that you not expose your partners to your affliction. Finding compatible partners is really hard, finding them with the added complication of hsv2 is nearly impossible. That being said, I have seen a very few profiles on swinger sites where the couple or single indicates that they are infected as well.

  4. #29

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bluediamond View Post
    Ok.. what would you suggest for someone like me? Maybe I don't have the right to participate. Do I try to find couples who have hsv2? What if they have something in addition to that. So I guess everyone interested in one another should head to the doctor to get tested.. then just stay monogamous in that group...
    There's HSwing.com if someone is interested in finding other couples with HSV.

  5. #30

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    From a female perspective, certainly intercourse without a condom is more pleasureful. After all, how many of us require our hubby’s to wear one. It feels better, its more versatile in terms of moving back and forth between oral and vaginal play, and, if you allow it, the warm gush at the end is rewarding. For guys that are polite enough to offer to withdraw just before climax, you can quickly go down and reward them by orally accepting their climax. Unfortunately, there are other, very real concerns about diseases and infections. Most problematic, at least in my experience, are that the guys who are most insistent about no condom are frequently the ones where we as women must be most insistent that they wear one. It’s really not up for negotiation with me. If there is any resistance at all when I lay out the initial ground rule, its easy enough to find a more cooperative volunteer.

  6. #31

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Quote Originally Posted by chiccouplexx View Post
    From a female perspective, certainly intercourse without a condom is more pleasureful. After all, how many of us require our hubby’s to wear one. It feels better, its more versatile in terms of moving back and forth between oral and vaginal play, and, if you allow it, the warm gush at the end is rewarding. For guys that are polite enough to offer to withdraw just before climax, you can quickly go down and reward them by orally accepting their climax. Unfortunately, there are other, very real concerns about diseases and infections. Most problematic, at least in my experience, are that the guys who are most insistent about no condom are frequently the ones where we as women must be most insistent that they wear one. It’s really not up for negotiation with me. If there is any resistance at all when I lay out the initial ground rule, its easy enough to find a more cooperative volunteer.
    I rarely ejaculate during play. That is more for Amy. But if I was and my partner said "don't cum in me, cum in my mouth" that would be hot. If that is your preference, just tell them!

  7. #32

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Quote Originally Posted by kcjones View Post
    There's HSwing.com if someone is interested in finding other couples with HSV.
    WOW!! Thanx for the website re. swingers w herpes! I appreciate all the wonderful feedback from everyone)

  8. #33

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Condoms make it a little faker


  9. #34

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Random sex at a swingers club is always with a condom. When we go to a resort and meet a couple by the pool and get to know them throughout the day, a level of trust is established. To be honest, what couple, if containing an STD, would hide it from another couple. How cruel is that?

    We've had condom-free sex with a few couples, and one this past April at Desire and we're fine. And not only that, the sex was hot as hell and may not have been as hot with a condom.

  10. #35

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    My wife and I have been married 43 years, swinging 40. In the 70's most all STDs could be cured with a shot. But my wife and I never used protection. It was stupid and careless. But we were young and a lot to learn and hated the feel of a condom. We made it through that period of our lives without any STDs and no unwanted pregnancies truthfully by DUMB LUCK. By the time Herpes, Hepatitis, and HIV arrived, we had already established our friends, we knew who we could trust, was clean, through making kids and we guys got vasectomies. In short, we were fucking everyone's spouses, keeping out diseases, and we guys were sterile, so we don't wear condoms. So "WHY BAREBACK?" It's the natural way of having sex and it feels so damn good and lots of fun. But, a rule of thumb is: Use common sense.

  11. #36

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Similar situation and concur with older couple's post

  12. #37

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    As a woman, a condom does not make a huge difference to me in terms of physical pleasure, but bareback does increase my sense of intimacy and connection to a man when his semen is ejaculated inside me. I do go bareback with very close friends. My husband does lose sensation using even thin condoms. Overall, sex is more pleasurable for both of us bareback, but especially for my husband. However, for the sake of safety we use condoms, except with a few boyfriends whom I know well.

  13. #38

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    I like wearing a condom. It's a different feeling than bare, not better, not worse, just different - I will say that finding the right condom is an important factor. I usually wear a condom with Ms A, as the condom is smoother, maintains lube longer, and with age related lubrication issues, makes penetration more enjoyable for her. When playing with others, we're happy to use barriers for oral and gloves for digital stim too - we just treat them as additional toys. In a group situation, it makes switching from partner to partner a no brainer, tear off the condom, toss the glove, grab another sheet of saranwrap and go. Bare hand for me, gloved hand for you.

    No judgement, really, you do you. But this works for us.

    Really, you can psych yourself out of anything, but the interesting thing is you can psych your self in to things too.

  14. #39

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    I never thought people would put on gloves or use Saran Wrap for sex. I wrote before about condom use and I still say I don't feel a difference but guys say they do. The only time a surgical glove has been down there is my gyn and I understand that but if a sex partner did that I think I would say what the hell. I have never given or got oral sex with protection. I don't think it has ever been an issue with any partner.

  15. #40

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Quote Originally Posted by a_d_xxx View Post
    I like wearing a condom. It's a different feeling than bare, not better, not worse, just different - I will say that finding the right condom is an important factor. I usually wear a condom with Ms A, as the condom is smoother, maintains lube longer, and with age related lubrication issues, makes penetration more enjoyable for her. When playing with others, we're happy to use barriers for oral and gloves for digital stim too - we just treat them as additional toys. In a group situation, it makes switching from partner to partner a no brainer, tear off the condom, toss the glove, grab another sheet of saranwrap and go. Bare hand for me, gloved hand for you.

    No judgement, really, you do you. But this works for us.

    Really, you can psych yourself out of anything, but the interesting thing is you can psych your self in to things too.
    I would run screaming from the room.

  16. #41

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lionheart72 View Post
    The desire for bareback sex comes up in discussion after discussion, and I must say, it puzzles me. I don't really see the appeal. I do have bareback sex with my wife but I don't particularly mind condoms. I've never really noticed that much of much difference in the general quality of the sex.

    So, I thought I'd ask... what is the appeal of bareback sex?
    This must be a joke. You never noticed a difference in the general quality of the sex?


  17. #42

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    I just saw this thread and would say the following on bareback versus condoms. Here is my guidelines, in part borrowed from another one of my posts.

    I tend to see it as a three step process which I actually like.

    1. Traditional Swinging where all the norms apply. I tend to do this on occasions but not regularly. Use a condom.
    2. Fuck Buddies is where we met and had a good time and want to repeat that, generally swinging norms apply. Normally use a condom.
    3. Friends with benefits where we hang out with each other and families do meet. Being friends is as important as the sex and the sex gets even better as we learn what flips each other switch. At that point swinging norms are not usually in force. A FWB is someone that you hang out with but realistically you are not going to make them your SO in life. I have two FWB for ten plus years, we know each others sexual health histories. This realm for me is bareback friendly.

  18. #43

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    We only have condomless sex with our most closest friends, people we know for years.
    In fact last 8 years I have only received cum inside me from 3 different males including hubby.

  19. #44
    Swingers Board Addict Fi86's Avatar
    Status
    Single female

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    I find sex less pleasurable with them, I can feel a difference. They interrupt things and get in the way. Men generally perform worse. I like men cumming inside me.

  20. #45

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    For both of us, it's a "mental" stimulation as well as to my two "friends with benefits." Be it with them or the small, private "club," all have been tested and are done so at least a couple times per year and after knowing them and their life "situations" as well as commitment to keeping it within the group.

    Over the years, I believe I've learned a few things about the male sexual "psychology" and both my husband and close "sexual associated" agree that men are very sensitive about their genitals and their semen. While I make no judgment for those women who are "grossed out" by semen, men are almost always elated with a sexual encounter with a woman who actually appreciates and wants their semen. Don't get me wrong, I do NOT particularly appreciate the taste of it, but I do want it in my body, will swallow it, respect it, and thank him/them for their "gift." In my experience, men who know you WANT their semen, when you're grateful for it, make better and more confident lovers!

  21. #46

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Two reasons - both the men and women who we play with like the feel of skin on vagina, and both like the cum in there.

  22. #47

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    I truely love unprotected sex for so many reasons... But let me explain before you label me as stupid. There are probably 7 men I have unprotected sex with. They are close to us and there is a next level of trust going on. I don't let everyone pump away down there. It's all psychological.
    I feel more connected to my partner when our juices really flow. This may just be in my head but i think a man feels better unwrapped... On the more external part anyway. I can feel his heat, the head, the skin pulling on his shaft, etc. To me it feels right, the way it's supposed to be. The taboos make it even better. When a man that isn't my husband cums in me I feel empowered, like I truely took all he had to offer. His orgasm feels better on my end, the way a man really leans into a woman when he ejaculates is driven.

    Ive never heard a man say a woman feels better with a rubber. Pussy may feel pleasant with a rubber but it can beat the real deal of truly feeling a woman. And for men it's instinct, survival of the species. Cumming in a woman is hard wired, when a man can accomplish that it makes his orgasm gratifying at a cave man level, even if he knows the real outcome. I'm sure I could rattle off more reasons why unprotected sex is better but I'll stop here.

    Unprotected sex isn't something that should be taken lightly. But when it can happen it should be enjoyed by both.

  23. #48

    Default Re: Why bareback?

    Well said... I prefer without "but" when we are in the LS we use protection. One time with a good friend we did a MFM and it just kind of happened without. The sex is so much better without "but".



    Quote Originally Posted by wildones8474 View Post
    I truely love unprotected sex for so many reasons... But let me explain before you label me as stupid. There are probably 7 men I have unprotected sex with. They are close to us and there is a next level of trust going on. I don't let everyone pump away down there. It's all psychological.
    I feel more connected to my partner when our juices really flow. This may just be in my head but i think a man feels better unwrapped... On the more external part anyway. I can feel his heat, the head, the skin pulling on his shaft, etc. To me it feels right, the way it's supposed to be. The taboos make it even better. When a man that isn't my husband cums in me I feel empowered, like I truely took all he had to offer. His orgasm feels better on my end, the way a man really leans into a woman when he ejaculates is driven.

    Ive never heard a man say a woman feels better with a rubber. Pussy may feel pleasant with a rubber but it can beat the real deal of truly feeling a woman. And for men it's instinct, survival of the species. Cumming in a woman is hard wired, when a man can accomplish that it makes his orgasm gratifying at a cave man level, even if he knows the real outcome. I'm sure I could rattle off more reasons why unprotected sex is better but I'll stop here.

    Unprotected sex isn't something that should be taken lightly. But when it can happen it should be enjoyed by both.

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