how would you proceed?

[Numex 2,175]

Several week ago, I had some alone play with one of the wives in our closed married group of swingers. We had played before, but not alone. After some play, she said to me, "You can do whatever you want". I asked what she liked, but she replied firmly "I want you to do whatever you want to me".  It's not a situation that I've faced before; all my previous encounters with women were negotiated for our mutual pleasure, even if a little bit extreme or kinky.

 

What would you have done?

 

 

Edited February 17 by Numex

[let's do it again 379]

42 minutes ago, Numex said:

Several week ago, I had some alone play with one of the wives in our closed married group of swingers. We had played before, but not alone. After some play, she said to me, "You can do whatever you want". I asked what she liked, but she replied firmly "I want you to do whatever you want to me".  It's not a situation that I've faced before; all my previous encounters with women were negotiated for our mutual pleasure, even if a little bit extreme or kinky.

 

What would you have done?

 

 

I would have done the filthiest things that I could have thought of. Nothing would have been off limits!

[bbarnsworth 2,536]

For my part, I would have done everything I could think of to pleasure her.

 

Some people would take what she said as a sign that she wanted to give herself up to the person's desires. That doesn't work for me. To me, sex is a mutual thing.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,086]

Well, to quote a famous song by the Eurythmics, "Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you".

 

There are certainly people who take pleasure in being used for other's pleasure. As long as it's her stated desire and all is consensual - have at it!

[TnA83 273]

12 hours ago, Numex said:

 

 

What would you have done?

Definitely I would start licking her butt and see where that went.

 

[Billygoat 405]

It can be a fine line.

 

Without some discussion with her or observation of what she is like it leaves too much in question.  I have received that request both before or as an invite to play as well as in the heat of the moment.  You have to tread lightly here as each playmate could have something different in mind than another or the last time you played with them.  Permission at this time is not auto-applied permission the next time.

 

personally I will not participate in very aggressive play, pain/hitting, choking, unsanitary play anything that can be observed/defined as assault. 
 

I have, by request, after discussion with the woman/women involved or boyfriend/husband/SO/master and what is desired/wanted/desired.  Those experiences have been for the most part awesome a few while still good it was obvious the male part of the couple instructed for non discussed/surprise but didn’t end badly.

 

I have experienced a few events that didn’t really kick off/cold feet etc.  Nothing disastrous.  And several one on one play with married/coupled women after discussion with their husband/SO or if single/solo some boundaries discussed.

 

In most cases it came down to wanting to be dominated/aggressive/used but not abused.  A open most anything goes, take me experience.

[couplers 4,140]

22 hours ago, Billygoat said:

You have to tread lightly here

Yes, the advantage goes to a woman when faced with such a situation.  If a man tells a woman to do whatever she wants, any of his complaints won't be taken seriously afterwards.  Not so the other way around. 

[oldswinger64 86]

Yes, it seems (in my opinion) she was in a place where she wanted to feel used for your pleasure.  At that moment, that was arousing to her.  I know some who would find that arousing.  For me, I would not respond well to that.  I get aroused by giving pleasure to others.  I personally would accept the fact that at that moment we were not clicking.

[polymath 17]

I think someone who says “anything” has likely not given a lot of thought to what “anything” might entail. Anyone will have boundaries, even if he or she has never considered what they might be. I would do nothing that would have a chance of crossing an unstated boundary, in case this was a situation involving any level of kinky play. 

[Anon321 481]

My GF has done this with several guys in the past.  Some jump right in with whatever kinky stuff they've been suppressing and others are caught off guard and look like a deer in headlights.  But the most important part of proceeding from there is to establish a safe word.

[shy_couple 448]

I would have asked her to play the rusty trombone of me to let me go chili-dogging. 
 

mainly to see her reaction. 

[Sophy 551]

Clearly, she wanted to feel used by you; that is a common fetish couples have; it can be very hot if it is done with someone you trust. 

The message was she felt comfortable enough with you to give you a blank check to her body.

From a female perspective, I would expect kinky dominant rough sex involving face-fuck, anal and some dirty talking.

Next time, don't be shy, have in mind that your actions will not only please her but for sure will please her partner who will be thrilled to watch or being told what you did to her

[discreetplay 218]

On 2/17/2024 at 5:37 PM, Numex said:

What would you have done?

 

Never played alone before and she says you can do whatever you want...I would have walked away, quickly. That appears to be a landmine I would want nothing to do with.

 

Never played alone before...has the agreement changed in the closed group where you can play alone? If not, why is she suggesting you break the agreement of the group?

 

"I want you to do whatever you want to me"...this too is a loaded request, especially when playing alone. If you wanted to play a little rough, would she claim it was "too rough" the next day, leading to the destruction of the closed group (or worse)? 

 

 

[MrMrsswinger 184]

On 2/20/2024 at 9:47 AM, discreetplay said:

this too is a loaded request

I completely agree. If this is a closed group where everyone plays together, why would she suggest such a thing alone? I wouldn't have taken that bait for fear there was some ulterior motive.

[Fundamental Law 2,817]

On 2/18/2024 at 12:16 AM, hunterdonNJcpl said:

Well, to quote a famous song by the Eurythmics, "Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you".

 

There are certainly people who take pleasure in being used for other's pleasure. As long as it's her stated desire and all is consensual - have at it!

The lyric :

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused
 

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/17/2024 at 9:42 PM, bbarnsworth said:

I would have done everything I could think of to pleasure her.

That is my usual approach, but it was obvious she wanted something off the regular track. Why me?

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/17/2024 at 10:16 PM, hunterdonNJcpl said:

There are certainly people who take pleasure in being used for other's pleasure. As long as it's her stated desire and all is consensual - have at it!

My problem was/is that there is nothing that would please me in "using" her, even in a conventional way. Mutual pleasure is my thing.

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/18/2024 at 5:22 AM, TnA83 said:

I would start licking her butt

I've done anal with this girl before and fingered her ass, but butt licking is not my thing.

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/19/2024 at 9:12 AM, polymath said:

someone who says “anything” has likely not given a lot of thought to what “anything” might entail.

I was being very timid, so I think that she was trying to push me on. She didn't think I would go from zero to a hundred in one step. I went from zero to one after her prodding me and she was hoping that I would go to two.

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/19/2024 at 9:22 PM, shy_couple said:

I would have asked her to play the rusty trombone of me to let me go chili-dogging. 

Good thought. I should have asked her to clean the house and do the laundry.

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/19/2024 at 11:45 PM, Sophy said:

she wanted to feel used by you; that is a common fetish couples have; .... your actions will not only please her but for sure will please her partner 

Her husband told my wife that he was glad that I was taking care of it. It wasn't his thing to "use" her, see it, or know about it.

 

 

 

Edited February 24 by Numex

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/19/2024 at 11:45 PM, Sophy said:

it can be very hot if it is done with someone you trust. 

The message was she felt comfortable enough with you to give you a blank check to her body.

From a female perspective, I would expect kinky dominant rough sex involving face-fuck, anal and some dirty talking.

Next time, don't be shy,

Yeah, Daniela told me that I'm seen as trustworthy and without some hidden dangers.  I'm trying to be more dominant with her, but by telling her what to do to me rather than doing things to her. That way she can always just not do it. As rough as I've gotten is spanking her ass, not my thing, but OK. I've done anal before with her in a regular swap, and I've done dirty talking. Face-fucking isn't something I'd like. I am trying not to be shy by pushing the limits very slowly.

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/20/2024 at 8:47 AM, discreetplay said:

Never played alone before...has the agreement changed in the closed group where you can play alone? If not, why is she suggesting you break the agreement of the group?

I have never play alone with this particular woman before, but alone play in our group is very common, mostly because it allows for more play. Her husband knew what was up, more than I did actually.

 

Especially on weekdays, two non-spouses getting together alone is much more convenient. For us and the close-by couples in group, we can easily switch off watching the kids, take them out for dinner, while the other adults play. Our whole group gets together every month or so, but most weekends everyone splits into two groups based on geographic location, with texts and emails flying during the week. Even then, married couples will sometimes split between the two groups depending on who they want to play with. Some in the group have even gone on vacations alone, or one spouse with another couple. Both Daniela and I have gone on vacations alone with favorites of ours.

 

The only agreement among everyone in our group is no playing of any kind outside the group.

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/22/2024 at 11:31 AM, MrMrsswinger said:

If this is a closed group where everyone plays together, why would she suggest such a thing alone?

It's a closed group, but everyone doesn't necessarily play together.

[Numex 2,175]

Thanks to all who have replied. I didn’t want to taint the answers, so in my original post I didn’t say what we did, but initially I too had reservations on how this would go and what to do.

As I mentioned, Joan and I had played before in a group setting, but not alone. Our previous play was very normal. In this first alone play, we had considerable foreplay, hands all over each other’s bodies, oral on each other, proceeding to doggie and missionary. She, Joan, came, but I had not yet. Joan told me to do whatever I wanted after we had been at it for about 45 minutes.

The first thing I did was start to play with her pussy using my hands, finger fucking her with two, then three fingers. She took it easily and liked it, started bucking towards another orgasm then she came. Afterwards she grabbed my cock and started stroking it and I “demanded” that she suck it. I’m not a very creative person, so I was struggling with what to do next. Joan was doing a good job giving head, so I decided to just go with it and instead of cumming into her pussy, which I prefer, I was going to just let the experience run until I came. Usually, I’m cautious about ejaculating in a woman’s mouth without prior agreement, but I figured this situation was different and she could always spit anyway. I came pretty good, she made noises as if it were a pleasant surprise when it pumped out. I told her to show it to me, since I always blow it inside a girl’s pussy or sometimes ass, and don’t get to see my work. She did, it was impressive, then I told her to swallow it all, she did.

Joan now looked weird, crawling naked on all fours towards me. Then I grabbed some random lotion that was nearby and stuck a finger in her ass, working it in and out and using the two adjacent fingers to circle her ass hole on the outside. I spanked her with my other hand. We did a few other things and called it a night. I wondered afterwards if I met her expectations, since what I did actually seemed a bit silly to me. Joan called me the following evening, however, and thanked me for the “experience”, she really appreciated it.

 

Daniela and I met up with Joan and her husband at one of our less than full group get togethers several days later, during the next weekend. Joan’s husband, Steve, made a point of telling me that I know Joan’s kinks better than he did. I was more confused than impressed. Joan got Daniela and her husband together with us during that evening and we did a conventional couples swap, back to normal play. Joan then arranged with Daniela for me to play with her alone again the following week.

Now this was a challenge, I’m just not that creative. The only thing that I did in advance was to call and talk to Joan’s husband and ask if I could have Joan call him when she and I got together next time. His response was affirmative, but sort of indicated that he was going along with it in a boring, not an excited, way. When Joan and I got together again, it was at Daniela’s and my home, Joan doing that so as to least inconvenience me. Daniela took our daughter out for the afternoon. Long story short, I stripped Joan naked and made her do things, display herself for me, spread her pussy, crawl around and swing her tits, finger herself and we shared the taste. I told her to suck my dick and as I did her doggy call her husband and made her talk about how great it was. Steve went along with it, but didn’t have much to say or a reaction, but Joan loved it. It seemed to be getting stupid to me so I had her hang up the phone and fucked Joan doggy while fingering her ass. Now it had gotten intense. We both came.

 

 I told her to dress. I pulled her with me down to the garage and into my car. She was a wreck - wrinkled dress, nipples poking out, sweating, hair a mess. I didn’t know where I was taking her, but decided to go to a clothing store where Daniela shops. We went in and I asked the saleswoman for something nice for my woman when we go out. She looked at us suspiciously and I was a little afraid she might call the police thinking our appearance might be over the top. But she was helpful and gave Joan a few things to try on. I went into the dressing room with her as she tried clothes on and in passing played with her tits and pussy. I “forced” Joan to choose something for me to buy her, because this was the most pushback she had given me.  We left, Joan wearing what I had bought her. She gave me a blowjob and I finger fucked her as I drove back to my house to get her car.

Joan called Daniela when she got home to tell us she had arrived safely, and to thank me for fulfilling her fantasies; Daniela said Steve thanked her as well. The sex with Joan is good, but the “do what you want to me” part isn’t really fun for me, more like work, but interesting in a way.

I suspect there will be a next time, and am starting to think about what else I can do. My ideas are to tell Joan not to shave anywhere on her body, so of to counteract the trend of every woman shaving everywhere. My thinking is that since I want to be cautious and safe, I will tell Joan to do things to me rather than just doing something to her. Like I will “demand” that Joan pee on me in the shower. Depending on how that goes, I might pee on her as well. Since she likes performing oral, I might order her give me extended oral on my dick in some way. I may insist that Joan masturbate for me. Finally, maybe I’ll pretend to take pictures of Joan and tell her that I’m going to post them, something I definitely wouldn’t do.

None of Joan’s weirdness has every come out when Daniela and I were playing with her and her husband, so it doesn’t seem that involving him in this is the way to go. He told Daniela he was happy that I was taking care of this. I am thinking, however, that involving Daniela may be a good idea though for two reasons. First, Daniela possibly understands Joan better than I do and can think of more kinky ideas. Second, both Joan and Daniela have no problem being bi, so I can demand that Joan please Daniela in some ways, and have Daniela do things to her. I can also have sex with Daniela and “torment” Joan with a description of how good Daniela is.

 

Anyway, we'll see.
 

[KatrinaandDriverX 88]

Alex here.

 

The sex has to be consensual. It was obvious you did not want to consent to her request.

 

No crime in that.

 

Sometimes the sex is 'no strings attached'  is because the strings are made into a 'web',

 

Also, if here husband didn't know anything about this, there would be trouble.

 

 

[couplers 4,140]

15 hours ago, Numex said:

I am thinking, however, that involving Daniela may be a good idea.., both Joan and Daniela have no problem being bi, so I can demand that Joan please Daniela in some ways, and have Daniela do things to her.

As a bi woman myself, I think that FFM is a way to go.  Threesomes can be overwhelming and confusing in a good way. 

[let's do it again 379]

This is something that I have done before that I would bet you and Joan hasn't done. Make a play date and tell her to put on either a blue or red thong panty. Tell her you want her to wear this thong panty 2 days before the play date not changing them and not to bathe. When Joan arrives and both of you are naked put her panties over your head with the crotch over your nose and align the leg holes with your eyes, if the panties are red you are spiderman and blue you are captain America! After the first round of sex , tell her to take a bath because you want to lay down face first in her dirty bath water !  Then depending on if she has a full bush, trim her and save her pussy hair in a baggy. Take some neosporin and a razor and shave her pussy and butthole.