Best Age for Swinging.

[William2001 53]

Is there a best age for swinging?

 

I have always wondered about what is the best age for swinging. I began in my early 20's. I was introduced to the lifestyle by an older woman (Alice 40.) And for a long time I would always be looking for an older woman of around the same age as Alice. (35 to 45)...

 

But over the years I grew older and of course I came to realise that age was just a number and that the personality of the people you meet is more important then their age.

 

So I would like let people comment on about the age of themselves, partner,  and the other people that you choose to meet and have become involved with.

 

(🙂 Yes I have found the text and colour buttons..!)

[couplers 4,140]

3 hours ago, William2001 said:

Is there a best age for swinging?

From my experience having started in the lifestyle (but not exactly swinging) not long after I became sexually active, I would say that the best age is from the beginning.

 

There are two reasons for this.

 

The first is that humans are non-monogamous by nature, so it's best to throw off the religious and social inhibitions and constraints as young as possible. (Better even if one is raised without them in the first place.)  I struggled a little with non-monogamy; not my own, but my husband’s and boyfriend's.  From what I've read here, it's much more difficult for couples who have been married for twenty years to do so without doubt, drams, and difficulties. 

 

The second reason is that having multiple sex partners, and knowing that the person or person you love do as well, is physically and emotionally fulfilling.  Let the fun begin early! 

 

 

Edited December 4, 2023 by couplers

[couplers 4,140]

  

On 6/7/2014 at 2:40 PM, eldiablo311 said:

Question for women - how and why did you start swinging?

 

On 6/7/2014 at 4:27 PM, kellimc said:

I'm not in a relationship and wasn't in one when I got into the lifestyle. My parents were open swingers and I've always been something of an exhibitionist. I guess swinging was my fate.

I miss kellimc.  As another young woman in the lifestyle, I empathize with her.  Her approach to the lifestyle is refreshing.

[couplers 4,140]

  

On 11/26/2019 at 8:29 AM, PSULioness said:

Three years ago after meeting my friend at a Rutgers-Penn State football game and the weather turned cold and snowy icy I stayed with my friend and her guy friend at a hotel. It was an innocent invitation I thought. To this day I don’t know how I allowed things to happen. It sure changed my life. What started as a cuddle by my friend ended up as my first experience with a girlfriend. I think what certainly changed my life was having sex with her guy friend. It was the guy that made me admit to my boyfriend what I did. Even though it was the girl friend sex that was what was the new thing I never thought of before, it was the cheating with a guy that made me tell. It was my admission that led to my marriage I am sure.

  

On 5/3/2019 at 7:40 AM, PSULioness said:

We have been playing with my husband’s best friend for a few years now. It was my husband’s idea. My introduction to group sex was based on a bisexual feeling I didn’t know I had. The only men I played with were at parties or my friends partners. We were newlyweds and my husband got to experience all my college girlfriends who partied. I never expected to hear that my husband wanted our friend to join us. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, I truly like him as a friend. Fast forward a few years and I can’t remember the time before we started doing this. He is the only man I have one on one sex with outside of my husband. My husband travels for work and many times our friend keeps me company. It has not hurt any relationship.

I miss PSU Lioness as well, for the same reasons, although her approach to the lifestyle and her situation as a young married woman is different from Kellimc and more similar to mine,

[AdamGunn2 187]

I had what is now called a hotwife in my twenties, participated very briefly in foursome activities in my thirties, and my 2nd wife and I enthusiastically took up swinging in our early 50's through our sixties.

 

The best time to be swinging: Now!  

 

If you (and your significant other, if you have one,) are excited about sharing yourself with other people, then you'll have fun no matter what age you are. Can you do stuff longer and more acrobaticly when you're young? Of course! On the other hand, as you age your experience allows you to appreciate what you're into more and more.

[cplnluv1 804]

3 hours ago, couplers said:

  

  

I miss PSU Lioness as well, for the same reasons, although her approach to the lifestyle and her situation as a young married woman is different from Kellimc and more similar to mine,

Our Lioness has gone through so much since she stopped posting. Very ironic the two quotes you posted, not all situations turn out the way we want.
Our friend is a young lady that has witnessed some dark times but has support from very good nonjudgmental friends now. 

[PeterJ 826]

3 hours ago, AdamGunn2 said:

I had what is now called a hotwife in my twenties, participated very briefly in foursome activities in my thirties, and my 2nd wife and I enthusiastically took up swinging in our early 50's through our sixties.

 

The best time to be swinging: Now!  

 

If you (and your significant other, if you have one,) are excited about sharing yourself with other people, then you'll have fun no matter what age you are. Can you do stuff longer and more acrobaticly when you're young? Of course! On the other hand, as you age your experience allows you to appreciate what you're into more and more.

Adam, I agree completely and enthusiastically with everything you’ve written here! Most particularly that, as the Blues Project sang decades ago "(t)here’s no tome like the right time, and baby, the right time is now!"

[lcmim 1,008]

William , before I respond to your question, I must ask ,Your profile says Glasgow , is that UK or somewhere in the US?

 

We started later than some of the others. We were in our 60's. We married later in life, and it was not until then that the last of our children had moved on.

 

We had always been of the mindset of there being a time for every purpose and up until that point the purpose was seeing them off into the world.

We had always maintained an active sex life between us and had , early on, gotten into the habit of reserving time for just the two of us to do things together outside of the home. We realized that having offspring around was only a temporary thing.

 

When we had the empty nest the questions were :

What's next? 

Why not?

 

There were some personal elements for me as well, but I have addressed them in other posts.

 

For the two of us it was adventure.

Because of our  longer time together, right around 30 years, and our ages we did not have many of the issues some  face. We knew each other and had a bedrock surety in our relationship.

[NC_Seniors 492]

40 minutes ago, lcmim said:

We started later than some of the others. We were in our 60's. We married later in life, and it was not until then that the last of our children had moved on.

Same here. We had less than a year in it when COVID hit. Now wishing we could have started earlier … sigh.

[lcmim 1,008]

NC ,

We asked ourselves "Should we have started sooner?" also.

Our answer was a  resounding NO, for us.

Starting sooner would have been distracting from what we should have been doing then.

When one door opens another is at least partially closed.

 

When we were in our thirties, having children was the focus, mission accomplished.

In our forties and fifties launching our children into adulthood was the focus, mission pleasantly accomplished.

Our mid sixties and seventies have thus far been focused on exploration together.

 

  Most likely we are cultural outliers.

It suits us.

 

 

 

[MidwestHoneys 334]

The best time to start is when she wants to start. Starting before marriage gives you an idea of what your future together will be. 

[NC_Seniors 492]

4 hours ago, lcmim said:

We asked ourselves "Should we have started sooner?" also.

Our answer was a  resounding NO, for us.

mim — Note that I said “could have” … not “would have”.   ;-D   Like you, we had our priorities. Although to be totally honest, the idea of swinging didn’t really occur to us until several years after the kids were all gone. Like many males, I had told my wife in bed — more than once — how exciting it would be to see her with somebody else, but we never actually considered acting on it until our 60s. Maybe one of these days, I’ll recount the story of how that discussion came about.

[William2001 53]

Fascinating response to my question about the best age for beginning to join in the lifestyle and a wide range of ages and advice.

 

😍

[TnA83 273]

14 hours ago, NC_Seniors said:

mim — Note that I said “could have” … not “would have”.   ;-D   Like you, we had our priorities. Although to be totally honest, the idea of swinging didn’t really occur to us until several years after the kids were all gone. Like many males, I had told my wife in bed — more than once — how exciting it would be to see her with somebody else, but we never actually considered acting on it until our 60s. Maybe one of these days, I’ll recount the story of how that discussion came about.

 

We're all ears!  I love hearing about how other got into it!

[Anon321 481]

We started very young and the swinging wasn't great.  You don't find a lot of others who are also in their twenties that are swingers and the ones that were, were not ready for it.  We did a lot more MFM, hot"wifing" (she my GF) and keeping an open relationship which worked better at a younger age.

[let's do it again 379]

5 hours ago, TnA83 said:

 

We're all ears!  I love hearing about how other got into it!

I didn't consider it swinging at the time but looking back, it was  cuckolding. In the late 70's my brother told me about this bar in our college town, it was known for older married women that would pick up college men for sex. Sure enough I would start dancing with the older women and eventually go to a hotel or their home. Many times their husbands would watch and either jerk off or go for sloppy seconds.  The first time that my ex wife and me swapped was with her maid of honor and her boyfriend. Me and the ex was having sex in front of them and they joined in. 

Edited December 5, 2023 by let's do it again
Spelling

[couplers 4,140]

I saw an article in the NY Times today written by the daughter of Ronald Reagan about Sandra Day O'Connor.  A few paragraphs went into the struggle that Justice Day had with her husband John's Alzheimer's dementia and how she faced it.  Quoting:

 

"Sandra Day O’Connor Told a Truth About Marriage That Few Others Dared To
By Patti Davis

My father [Ronald Reagan] had died two years before, and during the decade of his illness, I paid close attention to what other people chose to share about Alzheimer’s. There was a notable silence about placing a family member in a facility designed to provide safe, appropriate care. I so admired Sandra Day O’Connor’s openness, and I imagined the thousands of people in similar situations who felt gratitude that someone was shining a light on a dilemma that so many suffer through in the shadows.

In 2007, she went even further, allowing her son Scott to disclose that John had fallen in love with a resident at the facility — and that he did so with the former justice’s blessing. In an interview with KPNX-TV, a Phoenix station, Scott described how his mother would watch John and his new partner sitting on a bench together, clearly smitten with each other. “Mom was thrilled that Dad was relaxed and happy and comfortable living here.” She continued to visit him, though he no longer recognized her.

 

People with Alzheimer’s lose connections, memories become frayed threads, but the desire for companionship runs deep — deeper than the disease. It’s fairly common for patients to develop new romantic, even sexual, relationships. But it’s something that few people feel comfortable talking about."

 

This makes me proud to say that I am polyamorous.  Although it was very late in life, this showed a wife's genuine love for her husband.  It would have been so easy for her to do what everyone would have expected, pulled him out out of the facility and raised a lot of fuss and drama.  But she didn't, she responded with love.

[starswingers 23]

Im 38 and my wife is 33. We started swinging 10 years a go when she was 23 and I was 28.

 

We have managed to juggle an active home and work life with an extremely busy social life. We have some great memories recorded to look back on when we decide to 'retire' from the lifestyle.

 

We have agreed that when im hitting 50 we will start to wind down and finish our swinging adventures. 

 

We wanted to enjoy it while we were young and in good shape physically. We have played with partners ranging in age from early 20s right up into their late 60s!

 

So basically whatever age is the right fit for you as a couple is the age you should start.

 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,086]

4 hours ago, starswingers said:

We have agreed that when im hitting 50 we will start to wind down and finish our swinging adventures...

 

We once thought that, but we're both in our 50s now and see no sign of slowing down - quite the opposite in fact!

[William2001 53]

I am beginning to see some patterns between the various answers that people are giving to my Question..!

 

I would say that most people agree the the best age...

Is the age you are already at...

And that that Age Range is between your 20's and all the way to your70's. And Beyond..!

🥰

Edited December 7, 2023 by William2001
spelling

[couplers 4,140]

5 hours ago, starswingers said:

We started swinging 10 years a go when she was 23 and I was 28.

 

It's nice to hear from another married couple who started in the lifestyle young.  We're you married first, or did you meet in the lifestyle? 

[herpob 523]

On 12/4/2023 at 3:47 PM, MidwestHoneys said:

The best time to start is when she wants to start. Starting before marriage gives you an idea of what your future together will be. 

We were both sexing around a great deal prior to marriage. We met in a group sex setting. Sort of crazy that we didn't swing from day one. I think is would have been amazing. However, we never thought about having sex with others as a couple in the beginning.  I assume it was because we had so much exploring of each other to do. We did tell each other all about our exploits which fueled our nonlove making (the crazy sex portion). Still it never came up, to swing. 

 

On 12/7/2023 at 1:58 AM, starswingers said:

Im 38 and my wife is 33. We started swinging 10 years a go when she was 23 and I was 28.

 

We have managed to juggle an active home and work life with an extremely busy social life. We have some great memories recorded to look back on when we decide to 'retire' from the lifestyle.

 

We have agreed that when im hitting 50 we will start to wind down and finish our swinging adventures. 

 

We wanted to enjoy it while we were young and in good shape physically. We have played with partners ranging in age from early 20s right up into their late 60s!

 

So basically whatever age is the right fit for you as a couple is the age you should start.

 

Our sex partners range 20s to 60s as well. 

 

On 12/7/2023 at 6:20 AM, hunterdonNJcpl said:

We once thought that, but we're both in our 50s now and see no sign of slowing down - quite the opposite in fact!

We are building steam as we go. 

 

As for a good age to start? For my husband it was when our fantasy play got out of hand and he realized he might need some help sexually with me. For me it was when I recognized that my fantasies were projections of what I wanted in real life that I wish I'd continued from college and the fact that I had truly found the best man for me and wanted to share every single experience with him, no matter the experience. No specific age number, more of a time in life. 

[couplers 4,140]

12 hours ago, herpob said:

We were both sexing around a great deal prior to marriage. We met in a group sex setting.

I find these "how we met" marriage stories romantic.  How it should be - love blossoming obviously without sexual jealousy. 

[Juan234 9]

No one has regrets or says to wait.  

I will rephrase the question and ask what is the median age of swingers? Do men tend to be older or younger than the median?  On the other end, at what age do swingers fade away, e.g., at 80?

[William2001 53]

Well that is a good question... Probably better than my original question...

 

I began in my early 20's and have kept dabbling in and out of the lifestyle over the years... ( I am now officially a Retiree...)

 

Over all I met 'older' people until I was into my mid 30's and after that most people I met were of a similar age group.

 

Year by year there seemed not to be much age difference... Then it was like a whole new younger generation came in and I found that there was a more even general spread of ages... from 20's to 60's 70's etc.

Edited December 12, 2023 by William2001
bad spelling...

[couplers 4,140]

On 12/8/2023 at 6:28 PM, herpob said:

For my husband it was when our fantasy play got out of hand and he realized he might need some help sexually with me.

My marriage started as a threesome; I brought my boyfriend (ex-fiancé) along with me.  The love and the sex were wonderful, but it was a challenge keeping them satisfied, but I never failed to respond positively to any hint that either one (or both together) of them wanted it.  Women have it easily that way.

 

And I never regretted having made love or letting either of my men just "use" me.  It wasn't that I needed help sexually that led me to set up my husband with other women, it was the thrill of knowing, watching, participating with in him and another woman. 

[kellimc 214]

On 12/4/2023 at 6:41 AM, couplers said:

  

 

I miss kellimc.  As another young woman in the lifestyle, I empathize with her.  Her approach to the lifestyle is refreshing.

I'm still around. Surprised anyone still remembers me. I might not post as much as I used to, but I do read the forums occasionally. 

[ToeDippers 79]

Best age is before 50, our age when we started. We missed out on younger fun. When your relationship is secure is the best age. 

Edited January 9 by ToeDippers

[couplers 4,140]

13 hours ago, ToeDippers said:

We missed out on younger fun.

 

13 hours ago, ToeDippers said:

When your relationship is secure is the best age. 

For a couple to not miss out on "younger fun," yet be secure with partner sharing, I think it best that they meet and fall in love in the lifestyle. 

[couplers 4,140]

On 1/7/2024 at 9:06 AM, kellimc said:

I'm still around.

May I ask, are you still in the lifestyle?  Do you have a husband or partner?  

[kellimc 214]

7 hours ago, couplers said:

May I ask, are you still in the lifestyle?  Do you have a husband or partner?  

Yes, I'm still very much in the lifestyle. Recently got out of a relationship. Single and enjoying it.  

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,086]

5 hours ago, kellimc said:

Yes, I'm still very much in the lifestyle. Recently got out of a relationship. Single and enjoying it.  

Unicorn in the house 😀

[couplers 4,140]

17 hours ago, kellimc said:

Yes, I'm still very much in the lifestyle. Recently got out of a relationship. Single and enjoying it.  

That's great to hear.  Living life your own way.  I admire you. 

[ChristianSwinging 51]

On 1/10/2024 at 11:36 AM, couplers said:

I think it best that they meet and fall in love in the lifestyle. 

Yes, It is much easier to enjoy this kind of lovemaking if one or both of the couple already have some experiences.
In our case, it was my wife, who had some previous experiences in clubs.
This gave her a good relationship with her own body and she also learned to experience herself and her sexuality as normal and natural and that it is something completely natural when you can share it with others.

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/8/2024 at 6:13 AM, ChristianSwinging said:

Yes, It is much easier to enjoy this kind of lovemaking if one or both of the couple already have some experiences.
In our case, it was my wife, who had some previous experiences in clubs.

In our case as well, it was my wife who was much more experienced, mostly having two men going romantically at once as well as a woman just for sex.  My wife says, however, that I've had more sex because I had a very active, albeit monogamous, sex life with my ex-wife.

 

On 2/8/2024 at 6:13 AM, ChristianSwinging said:

she also learned to experience herself and her sexuality as normal and natural and that it is something completely natural when you can share it with others.

My wife learned that before I did.

[ChristianSwinging 51]

46 minutes ago, Numex said:

In our case as well, it was my wife who was much more experienced, mostly having two men going romantically at once as well as a woman just for sex.  My wife says, however, that I've had more sex because I had a very active, albeit monogamous, sex life with my ex-wife.

Would be interesting to know how starts you open your sex for others after your monogamous sex life.

Normally monogamous people don't Open it.

 

46 minutes ago, Numex said:

 

My wife learned that before I did.

So your wife was the motivation for you both to open up the sex life?

[AdamGunn2 187]

Christian Swinging, after over two decades of being monogamous my wife and I decided to open our marriage to swinging in most of its variations, then adding on hotwife activity. We started by recollecting about our past lovers and fantasizing together. After nearly three years of talking about it, we jointly decided to jump into the pool.

 

We knew many couples who'd been monogamous for years or decades, and then became open in one fashion or another. It usually happened as they were hitting the empty next period of their lives.

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/11/2024 at 8:38 PM, ChristianSwinging said:

Would be interesting to know how starts you open your sex for others after your monogamous sex life.

Normally monogamous people don't Open it.

My first wife and I had a monogamous but vigorous sex life.  We still had sex during and after the divorce for a while.  

 

 

 

On 2/11/2024 at 8:38 PM, ChristianSwinging said:

So your wife was the motivation for you both to open up the sex life?

Yes, it began when

 

On 2/11/2024 at 9:53 PM, AdamGunn2 said:

We started by recollecting about our past lovers

Daniela had a many lovers, both men and women before me, many more than I had despite her being much younger.  It turned us both on to talk and hear about our past sexual experiences, although mine consisted of sex with the same woman for twenty years.  It didn't take long for me to realize that Daniela was inherently not a one man woman, and liked sex with women as well.  I wanted her to be happy, so for a while she played while I didn't.  Then we started couple swapping and are now in a closed group of married couples.