Would this work for a first experience?

[kai33 2]

We want to try something new to us, my wife wants an experience with another woman but isn't sure how she would feel me being with the other woman. I want to watch her with another woman but feel the same when it comes to seeing her with a man. We're considering another couple...us men could watch our wives play then join in while they continue to be intimate. Does this sound a good way to get started? We've considered the possibility that our apprehensions regarding eachother being with the opposite sex may completely disappear when we're in the "swing" of things...but if they didn't is this still something another couple would enjoy? 

[couplers 4,140]

19 minutes ago, kai33 said:

my wife wants an experience with another woman but isn't sure how she would feel me being with the other woman.

My suggestion is to start your experience in the lifestyle whichever way makes your wife feel most comfortable, whether it be with a man, woman or couple, with you there or not.  After she has had some fun and is comfortable let her take your hand and have you accompany her on the adventure. 

 

19 minutes ago, kai33 said:

We're considering another couple...us men could watch our wives play then join in while they continue to be intimate. Does this sound a good way to get started?

To me it does not sound like a good way to start unless this is expressly what she wants to do. There could be too much pressure for her to "perform" up to the men's expectations. 

 

19 minutes ago, kai33 said:

our apprehensions regarding each other being with the opposite sex may completely disappear when we're in the "swing" of things..

Without the opportunity for your wife to eagerly accede to every step of what will likely be a fast moving sexual situation, I could foresee resentment and disaster.  Let her control everything. 

Edited June 18, 2023 by couplers

[kai33 2]

Thank you, it's quite daunting knowing where to start. She expressed interest in going to some clubs and seeing how we feel when we're there so I think that will be the road we go down. I was thinking a bit further in but I suppose it's impossible to plan things when we're not sure how we will feel. Just have to kind of go with the flow. 

[Sprocket 12]

Keep it simple, start slow and enjoy the thrill of just thinking and talking about fun with others until the you want to actually do it. You can't second guess what might or might not happen until that moment arrives. Just take things slowly until you actually meet people you feel comfortable with. You can only know how you feel emotionally when the moment arrives so it is essential that you and your partner are on the same page. And the first swinging encounter needs to be one that leaves one or both of you not feeling so good about it.

Good luck to you and just have fun.

 

[cplnluv1 804]

Our scenario was similar but not exactly as yours. We looked for a single woman, a unicorn that Alan could watch with me. He never saw something I did before I met him, me and another woman. If we found the right female I don’t think I expected him to just watch. Didn’t make a difference, unicorns don’t exist so we found another couple. My memory says I was less worried of him with a woman, I was more worried how he would react watching me with a man. 
You are not the only wife who wants to experiment while fearing your husband with a woman. For years we met many just like you and because of our first time we allowed those we met go as far as they wanted. Most women are very anxious being with a woman the first time, we always tried to play just to their comfort level. So many women eventually want their husbands involved. 
 

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,086]

Although our first-ever experience was mfm, when we joined a swing club soon after we noticed it was very common for new couples (including us) to start out with just the ladies playing with each other (while their men watched) then as things heated up the ladies would rejoin their respective partners. After a couple times playing this way then start to mix things up a little. That seemed to be a somewhat standard approach for new couples and definitely eased us into full-swap couples swinging.

[enhancer 1,542]

We have played with other couples where only the women played with each other and the men with their own wife in the past and it went well!  It is the only thing we are interested in with other couples now after years of trying swaps.  Most men in other couples however do not like this arrangement  which is fine they do not have to meet us if that is the case.  For us it has nothing to do with jealousy,  we just prefer to have sex with each other over other people, because it is always better.  The only thing that keeps us interested in the lifestyle now is her being able to fulfill her bi side when opportunity comes along. 

 

[GoldCoCouple 4,014]

All of the above advice is great. Just keep it simple, no matter what you try to plan, things will not work out the way you planned them (sometimes better, sometimes not). Set your rules and limits in advance and make sure that the other couple know what they are and make sure that everyone sticks to them. Unicorns really do exist...just know that others will find them and you will never run across one (okay, you might, but understand they are called unicorns for a reason). Communication (and trust) is the enemy of jealousy. The better the communication you have, the less the jealousy will (usually) be able to intervene. There are some people who like the jealousy, but most of us seem to want to avoid jealousy and drama. This is something the two of you are embarking on together, remember to enjoy the trip as much as the destination. Also, let us know how things are progressing. Good luck and enjoy the ride.

[couplers 4,140]

On 6/18/2023 at 3:03 PM, kai33 said:

We want to try something new to us, my wife wants an experience with another woman but isn't sure how she would feel me being with the other woman.

 

On 6/18/2023 at 7:32 PM, cplnluv1 said:

unicorns don’t exist

In our early days of playing, it was easy for me to set up my husband with female friends and acquaintances of mine.  Single women do have an attraction to married men, and if the wife encourages it, it's even easier to arrange. 

 

On 6/18/2023 at 7:32 PM, cplnluv1 said:

We looked for a single woman, a unicorn that Alan could watch with me.

That was the hard part, few of those women who were eager to fuck my husband wanted me to participate or even watch.  But the Lesbian play wasn't his desire, it was mine.

 

On 6/20/2023 at 9:14 AM, GoldCoCouple said:

some people who like the jealousy, but most of us seem to want to avoid jealousy and drama.

I'm the jealous type, addicted to it, but I never bring drama, just an eagerness to please, to prove my sexual worthiness to both of them afterwards.  As a bi woman, it works out well.

 

 

Edited June 25, 2023 by couplers

[Numex 2,175]

7 hours ago, couplers said:

Single women do have an attraction to married men,

My wife is a testament to that.

7 hours ago, couplers said:

few of those women who were eager to fuck my husband wanted me to participate or even watch.

Daniela, now my wife, always got her lesbian activity separately from the husbands she took care of.  Before we met, that is.  Now she gets everything within our swinging group.

 

Edited June 25, 2023 by Numex

[KatrinaandDriverX 88]

I’ve learned a lot of people overthink, or try to create a perfect experience. The problem is, experience gives you an excellent experience, being a novice cannot. This is why we call them learning experiences.

 

Yet, we really don’t want learning experiences when it comes to sex. We want the imagined thrill. I admit my husband and  I had an amazingly great first experience, yet it was NOTHING like we had planned. I actually got the best fucking I had ever had along with my first girl. This is rare.

 

As far as your wife getting her some ‘ girl ‘. Perhaps she could find a nice lesbian or bi gal so she can have her experience, then focus on your joint one.  
 

And it my not be a bad idea to hire a sex worker. In that case, she would be there purely for you. 
 

Also if an arrangement starts going badly you can always leave. This is a powerful consideration that people forget about. We picked up a couple and once it became apparent things weren’t right, we left. No drama, the guy tried to kiss my husband, without asking,  and that ended that. You always have choices and knowing you always have the right to invoke them. 

I have ‘broken in’  a girl or two. Two were solo experiences and she realized very quickly it wasn’t for her. No crime no foul. The other couldn’t get enough. She went down on me like she had done it all her life. I came like a freight train. With her, we did get together as two couples and still see them, when time allows. 
 

So, try to have a good experience, not a perfect one. Yet, do find a way to have it. After all, there’s infinite diversity within infinite combinations.

 

One last thing, while it is no strings attached sex, be careful that string doesn’t become a web. 
 

Be seeing you.

 

Katrina