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Hey sexy people! My wife and I have been trying the lifestyle now for about a year and it's been a fun time so far. We've been together for 15 years and she's never known my kinky and sex driven side. We've always had regular sex frequently but it's just not enough for me. A couple years ago we almost had a falling out, I got to the point where I didn't care anymore and told her about how I think and how sexually frustrated I was. I'm not bashful or shameful in any way but she definitely is. Anyways, she agreed to try endulging in the sexier bedroom fun with me and it's been good. We've had a few threesoms and a soft swap with another couple. The problem I'm having is that she likes to be shared but doesn't like when I'm shared. She knows I enjoy when we have company in the bedroom whether it be a man or woman or both. When we talk about sharing me she says she can't and gets worked up. I tell her I like her being able to enjoy another man in front of me ( I join in of course) then she tells me that she's only playing with other men because I like it. Now, I do like it but at what point do I say that it is unfair? Any suggestions or pointers would be greatly appreciated! I've been suppressing the kinkster and swinger inside me for a very long time and now the cat is out of the bag.

 

Please help!

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Does she really want to swing or is she just taking one for the team? By your story it sounds to me that she is doing it for you so she won't lose you. Tread lightly, play it cool to let her ease into more swinging, jealousy is something that all deal with in the swinging lifestyle. As she gets more experienced she may be more open to share you.

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It’s often said to go at the pace of the slower partner. She said she’s only doing this because you like it. What are your priorities here? Enjoying your kinks or her comfort? It seems she feels pushed into this and that is unfair to not just her but other couples unaware of this that you may meet. 

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I was the same as your wife, my husband David was fine with me having a boyfriend, but I was too jealous to share.  At first, I had sex with them separately, but then the MFMs started and became a regular occurrence.  I tried hard to keep both happy and was a busy girl.

 

It took two years, but then I snapped.  A friend of mine said she found my husband attractive and it must be nice sleeping with him.  I fibbed and told her David thinks you're hot and it can be arranged.  I went home and told David that she was coming over Saturday so that they could fuck.  He was surprised, but didn't object.

 

I went on to arrange a number of partners for hubby among my friends and acquaintances.  I was jealous, it hurt like hell, but I couldn't stop.

 

So my advice is to make it so that your wife has as much fun as possible.  Let her choose her sex partners and how she plays - with you there or not, when, where, how, how often...  Make it all about her and her sexuality, her adventure and fun.  It took me two years, but what my husband let me do while asking nothing in return brought me to the point to wanting for him to fuck other women and for me to be there.

Edited by couplers
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What I find strange is that nobody mentions the possibility that his wife is not 100% honest. That she does not want to share him is most likely true, but if then she was to admit enjoying the mfms, she knows it would make her look selfish, so she pretends that she's only doing the mfms for him.....and we all know that thats BS! I love how some of you right away tell him, look she's only doing it for you....of course on this board. the ''it's all about the women and they can do no wrong'' attitude does not surprise me.

Edited by machiavel55
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On 4/29/2023 at 10:28 AM, machiavel55 said:

the possibility that his wife is not 100% honest. That she does not want to share him is most likely true, but if then she was to admit enjoying the mfms,

I certainly didn't have that problem.  Before she wanted me to and I started playing with other women, Daniela was enthusiastic about her hotwifing - MFMs with me and alone play with her lovers.  She made it clear that she was grateful to me for the great sex she had (with others), how much she loved me for it, and she gave me all the sex I could handle.  One way play started out great for us and our relationship, then it got even better.  I got to play with other women and she got to play with other couples (FMF is her thing, especially where they are married).

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