Not a typical site

[TricianMike 732]

Ashley Madison. We understand the site attracts those looking for affairs not for swingers. We are swingers in the lifestyle and enjoy all the things we do together. Additionally we enjoy the hunt of finding new partners who aren’t searching, couples and men at a hotel, bar or sporting event. Michael watches me approaching others and convincing them to join us. Finding willing couples is extremely difficult, men a little easier. Finding a man who is willing to allow Michael watch is a problem. The men who agree are more and more nasty to both of us and we are now choosing with more discretion. 
Michael agrees that I could join and meet men if he gets to see who they are and possibly meet them. 
Has anyone met others on that site, is it safe and what quality of partners have you met. 

[enhancer 1,542]

We would never use the site personally!  I imagine the quality of people you would find on there is shitty!  Unless you don’t think people that lie and cheat are low quality people.  Don’t think there is much safe about playing with people that don’t even respect their own partner. What kind of respect are they going to show complete strangers? Pretty sure if they are okay lying to their spouse they are not going to have much problem lying to you about any disease they might be carrying.

[let's do it again 379]

Yes, wasn't Ashley Madison the site that used a bunch of fake profiles to make it look like more people used their site. A couple of years ago they were hacked and users names were exposed.  Wouldn't touch it!

[NWAtlSwing 487]

We go our of our way to avoid being the "Other cpl" this courts it

[Billygoat 405]

Our advice has always been the same to couples looking for an extra.  Attend meet and greets, house party’s, join small swinger groups and go to swinger events and clubs.  You do not need to swing with anyone there but be social, watch and talk with others.

 

First it is much safer.  Next everyone there…couples and singles….are all there with the same interests and mind set.  There are vetted singles and couples.  There are couples who play separately….sharing their spouses openly.  Not one near you? Make it a weekend get away.  An adventure.

 

you are much more likely to find what ever you are looking for including a one and done.
 

Edit to add…..we had a very high success rate doing this over a couple of decades to recruit 90% of our male talent for our group activities, MFM, MMFMM and gangbang activities.

 

Edited March 18, 2023 by Billygoat
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[Numex 2,175]

Before we were married, Daniela's had on-going relationships mostly with married men.  Usually more than one at a time.  But she didn't find them on cheaters sites, she just met men struggling in their marriage in real life.  Daniela believed that married men that she chose were safer in all respects, more grateful, and knew the boundaries of the relationship; there was love to varying degrees, but he wasn't leaving his wife.

 

Daniela says that she saved marriages, didn't destroy them.  She had several men over the years as lovers whose wives were struggling with post-partum sex issues.  She would encourage them to tell her about their wives and coax them to let her meet them under innocent circumstances.  She would compliment their wives, and then wives to the husbands.  Daniela was in control - she would choose him in the first place; paid for what they did.  She likened it to eating off the other woman's plate in a restaurant, "Yours looks better than mine."  She would have him tell her of his vulnerabilities, of his sex life with his wife.  When he would complain about his wife not giving him blowjobs or anal, she'd tell him that's what she was here for.  None of them divorced, even the one where the wife figured it out and civilly let Daniela know by telling me that I must be a good fuck.  Daniela says that she was, but an even better listener.  Daniela and the other man's wife still communicate on good terms.

 

So maybe that would be a good approach - it certainly would be an interesting one - find a married man in a struggling marriage and try to help the couple get through the rough times.

[NoAngels 303]

My wife is on Ashley Madison with my knowledge, not everyone on there is cheating. She joined as revenge for my indiscretions and now we both have a better understanding. 
On AM women are free members so if there are bots it doesn’t affect her membership. We no longer hide our passwords and emails, we are an open book to the other with full permission to read everything. 
There was a data breach years ago so she set up an email she only uses on the site and now has a cell exclusively for those she meets. She never put a credit card on her membership. 
Not every man she meets is a scumbag. As @numex said about his wife and married men she met, men have reasons to be members. No sex at home, bad marriages,  most men talk in bed about the why. 
This is not swinging in the purest sense, it’s consensual sex outside of marriage. I have no desire or need to watch my wife have sex with others. I read on here how men want to watch their wives do things, multi-men, gang bangs, or enjoy being cuckolded, I don’t. The times we met others together I preferred separate rooms. I have been with her with men she met for threesomes that were strange for me but fun in that strange way. 
Her meetings are set up now with me looking at the profiles and reading the texts of the men contacting her. I know where she is going and she only goes to better hotels, no hourly flea bag hotels. She has in her profile that she doesn’t want any long term relationships, one nighters are fine. 
Ashley Madison is not for everyone, there are fakes on all sex sites. I have looked at joining for myself, it’s not cheap for men and possibly there are female bots to get men to spend credits, I never joined. Most of the men are cheaters which I feel is safer over single men, they have to go home with clean health records. The best men to play with for her are men who can financially go to better hotels and restaurants. 
 

[Shore2Please 533]

I just a reply from an astute member that advised me that the right thing is what works for you. If both spouses are in agreement that joining that group works for you then you should join. I understand what others claim, you will be playing with cheaters, I believe that you not meeting them is not going to change them. Do we know they are cheating or are they like you meeting others with full knowledge by a spouse. Even calling someone a cheater bothers me, are we all cheating on vows or does the approval make it less wrong. What degree of others morality makes it acceptable?

[couplers 4,140]

15 hours ago, Shore2Please said:

are we all cheating on vows or does the approval make it less wrong.

My belief is that if it is consensual, it's not cheating.  Any agreement can be modified by further agreement of the parties. 

 

For us though, it doesn't matter.  Since I already had my relationship with Red when David and I got married, we left "forsake all others" out of our vows.  David was monogamous with me at the time, but I didn't want to be too obvious by making our vows non-reciprocal.

 

My parents were astounded that Red was even at the wedding since he was my ex fiancé. 

[PeterJ 826]

5 hours ago, couplers said:

My parents were astounded that Red was even at the wedding since he was my ex fiancé. 

Yeah, I’ll bet they were…😉😂 

 

Petra, I know you and your family are discrete about your relationship status. I believe that’s wise, given that your family includes minor children. But your comment above made me wonder if you have made your parents (or sibs if you have them) aware of your now longstanding family arrangement? And have others in your joint family made their own parents and sibs aware?

[couplers 4,140]

17 hours ago, PeterJ said:

if you have made your parents (or sibs if you have them) aware of your now longstanding family arrangement?

My mom, dad and sister know of our family; it's hard to hide unlike in the beginning.  Mom, despite her moral disapproval, has reconciled herself to the situation and is wonderful with the children, accepting all of them as her grandchildren (even the brown ones).  Dad disowned me years ago and we are estranged.  My sister is accepting but ... basically jealous.  (Her marriage is always in turmoil, but they stay together.)

 

17 hours ago, PeterJ said:

And have others in your joint family made their own parents and sibs aware?

Yes.  Their like of our arrangement varies, as does contact with different relatives.

Edited March 22, 2023 by couplers

[TricianMike 732]

I signed up for Ashley Madison and am already getting messages sent to me. Mike and I have read every message together also looking at profiles. I won’t make any move without Mike’s approval.  
We also have an opportunity to meet someone that we met at a party about 5 years ago and that may be something we do next. 

[TnA83 273]

9 hours ago, TricianMike said:

I signed up for Ashley Madison and am already getting messages sent to me. Mike and I have read every message together also looking at profiles. I won’t make any move without Mike’s approval.  
We also have an opportunity to meet someone that we met at a party about 5 years ago and that may be something we do next. 

How do the prospects look on Ashley Madison?

 

And tell us more about the person from five years ago...

Edited March 23, 2023 by TnA83
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[NoAngels 303]

7 hours ago, TnA83 said:

How do the prospects look on Ashley Madison?

I am going to tell you from the husband of a woman who is on Ashley Madison for years, it’s similar to the prospects you find on any dating site, some attractive, some unattractive, some real, some fake. There are less fakes on AM because it’s not cheap for men to be on there.  I have learned the criteria she has in responding to men, looks are primary, age and then her gut feeling. She has brought the old adage of you can’t always tell a book by its cover to her comments when describing the men she met. From the time we became honest with our meeting others she has been satisfied by the majority of her meetings. More than once she came home saying no wonder a guy’s wife doesn’t want sex. The sex acts are not always something you can tell from pictures or messages sent. 
I would say Your Mileage May Vary if I had to rate the site according to my Angel. We found that SLS has a similar outcome for us. 
I will wait for the OP to give their take. 

[TricianMike 732]

14 hours ago, TnA83 said:

How do the prospects look on Ashley Madison?

NoAngels has a better take on what’s on Ashley Madison, I am just starting. Every guy I see that is good looking makes wonder why he is on here, others look like they can use a makeover or better pictures. I found out guys have to pay to contact you and get free additional messages. I gave my special private email to four different men and am continuing messaging off the site. I like that these men were not explicitly sexual in their contacts. I’m getting to know them first before going to the next step. 
 

 

14 hours ago, TnA83 said:

 

And tell us more about the person from five years ago...

 

 

It’s a couple from a house party we met more than five years ago. Mike had their contact information and tried to remind me who they are, my memory is foggy. Michael showed me a picture of them and I still don’t remember but I can I understand why Michael is interested. 
Our plan is to spend a full night separately with them, I can be free to do whatever I want with anyone watching, and he also has privacy with her. This is still only in the planning stage for this weekend. 
 

 

[NoAngels 303]

17 hours ago, TricianMike said:

This is still only in the planning stage for this weekend. 

The weekend is here. ENJOY !!!

[TricianMike 732]

On 3/24/2023 at 4:43 PM, NoAngels said:

The weekend is here. ENJOY !!!

We didn’t meet them because one of them was sick. 
Learning more about Ashley Madison and what the men want and how they want to meet. Some men only want to meet in the afternoon I guess to hide from their wives, some only offered cheap hotel rooms, and then there are ones who travel to this area on business. 
Mike and I spoke about the typical sites to meet others which is a real possibility if we find the right one for us. 

[couplers 4,140]

On 3/17/2023 at 3:06 PM, TricianMike said:

We ... enjoy all the things we do together. Additionally we enjoy the hunt of finding new partners who aren’t searching

You bring back good memories of our early days of hubby, Red and me before our poly family formed.  As a couple, hubby and I (at my instigation) would do the same thing with single women.  After two years of hubby letting me keep my boyfriend from before we met, I finally overcame my jealousy and set it up for him to have a sexual relationship with an acquaintance of mine.  (She didn't want me to watch, however.)  The jealous burn for me was addicting so I wanted to do it more, and be able to watch.

 

We never used any dating sites or other online hookup methods.  I would approach acquaintances from the gym, coffee shop, bookstore, from church even. We would date them together: take them to dinner, the theater, concerts, even on vacation with us (separate rooms), paying for everything and never expecting anything.

 

We would never come on to her, but create opportunities for her to take it further: I would leave her alone with David to show I was not jealous and comfortable with it (and call her phone letting her know when I was coming back), I would undress/dress in front of them both. While I was primarily looking for her to play with David (and hopefully letting me watch), we were open to having threesomes. Many didn't go anywhere sexually but were fun times anyway and the fantasies and sex afterwards between hubby, Red, and me was incredible.  Some, having been given the opportunity, were willing to fuck hubby; a few let me watch or get involved. Regardless of the outcome, there were no hard feeling or regrets by anyone and we still occasionally get together with all of the women that we are still in contact with - two with their husbands.  One woman openly discusses the adventures we three had in the presence of her husband.

 

The hunt and seduction is exciting foreplay, whether successful or not. 

Edited March 27, 2023 by couplers
wrong word

[Numex 2,175]

When we started in the lifestyle, Daniela went first and I remained monogamous.  I enjoyed meeting her sex partners (the first two were exes, so it was no big deal for me) for a meet and greet to make sure everyone knew that everybody knew everything before they first had sex at a later date.  Together Daniela and I enjoyed the hunt and dating process as well.

 

The only experience like that recently is when we as part of our closed group vetted a new couple that wanted to join the group.

Edited March 29, 2023 by Numex