I wanna share my gf

[Tommyfenix 4]

Trying to find another guy who’s serious about helping me convince my gf to double team her. In Florida 

[cplnuswing 4,711]

This site isn't really a hookup site, more of a discussion site.  For hooking up, I'd try one of the swingers personals sites like SLS, SDC, or Swingtowns.  You can set up a free profile to try them out, but once you find the one you like the best, people will take you more seriously if you spring for a paid account. 

 

Was that your main question, the best way to find a third for a threesome after you and her have already agreed to it?  Just asking because it kind of reads like you are expecting the other guy to help do the convincing?  If that's the case, I can about promise you that isn't going to go too well.  Would you be convinced of anything if a virtual stranger is involved in doing the convincing?  Probably going to have the opposite effect.  Just some food for thought...

[couplers 4,140]

7 hours ago, cplnuswing said:

it kind of reads like you are expecting the other guy to help do the convincing

Yeah, I doubt that would work.  My suggestion is to let her know that it would make you happy if she enjoyed some extra sex on the side.  Most women are choosy about who they have sex with (unlike men), but it's still natural for us women to want and have multiple partners.  So let her seduce and fuck guys/friends she finds attractive.  It may be that she starts out with them alone, but if she later tells him/them that you have to be there to keep getting it, he/they will go along. 

[PeterJ 826]

On 2/26/2023 at 2:03 AM, Tommyfenix said:

Trying to find another guy who’s serious about helping me convince my gf to double team her. In Florida 

The odds of this happening are asymptotically zero.

 

I only use Feeld these days to find prospective partners, but years ago I was more into the hotwife scene as the third for couples. I had modest success with  AFF & SLS as a way of connecting with couples who "said" they were looking for a male third. For every couple with whom I had a successful sexual episode there were one or two guys where as the text discussion went on it turned out the guy wanted me to help them persuade (or seduce) their wife/partner, who either wasn’t on board or didn’t even know this was what her husband/partner had in mind. I couldn’t imagine such a scenario ever working out and as soon it became apparent that was the situation, I tapped out.

[MrMrsswinger 184]

So you're looking to find another guy to 'convince' your girlfriend to double team her. Wow, nothing could possibly go wrong here.

 

As others have said, sign up with the swinger site that is prevalent in your area. You won't have any issue finding a guy to join. And if you play your cards right, this approach will get what you want AND you'll lose your girlfriend. Two for the price of one!

[lcmim 1,008]

Have you ever raised a garden?

One thing I keep hearing is "Well sown is half Grown."

Getting results takes time and preparation.

Your question reads like you want to go directly to the harvest.

 

I believe that most of us who have been here for a bit have taken the time to properly put things in the ground.

 Let her know that you desire this. Wait for  awhile.

If the occasion arises you can allude to it without pushing.

 

If she expresses any interest you can reassure her that you are serious about it , with no repercussions for her.

 

Maybe you can offer that you would be willing to explore this with her, or be open to her researching it. 

 Patience, Patience, Patience.

 

 

[GoldCoCouple 4,014]

 

If she isn't interested when you have suggested it, then the outcome is probably already determined and you have been watching too much porn. This is a train wreck looking for a place to happen. Don't do it unless she is on board.

[Tommyfenix 4]

It’s not that I need someone to convince her or that she’s not interested. When I bring it up during sex or simply foreplay she’s really into it and says it’d be really hot. But during everyday situations when I bring it up she says “I duno” like she’s nervous or concerned about it. It’s as if she’s into it but worried.

[PeterJ 826]

1 hour ago, Tommyfenix said:

It’s not that I need someone to convince her or that she’s not interested. When I bring it up during sex or simply foreplay she’s really into it and says it’d be really hot. But during everyday situations when I bring it up she says “I duno” like she’s nervous or concerned about it. It’s as if she’s into it but worried.

People’s fantasy lives can be, and very often are, very different from what they want in their "real" sexual lives. That’s why the advice from members of this board is pretty consistently to have this conversation at the breakfast table over coffee rather than in bed while in a sexual setting.

 

In my own erotic life one particular example of this stands out. A decades-long FWB entertained wild fantasies during sex, some of which she refused to even share with me. But she encouraged me to suggest non-conventional sexual scenarios to her while we were having sex. One I suggested was to have a close male friend of mine join us for an MFM that would include DP and her being spit-roasted. This was something I would have been more than happy to have done, so later, in a non-sexual setting, I brought it up. She was absolutely firm that she did not want to do this. But during subsequent sex sessions she enjoyed playing with that fantasy.
 

(As an addendum, when she was in med school she had a MFF fuck-lick session with a married couple who were close friends of hers. In retrospect she was neutral about the experience, not at all sorry she’d done it, but not eager for a repeat.)

[enhancer 1,542]

If you can not talk about it with each other in a normal conversation then maybe it is best left as a fantasy!  Without good communication the lifestyle just doesn’t work.

[jamesok 39]

4 hours ago, Tommyfenix said:

It’s not that I need someone to convince her or that she’s not interested. When I bring it up during sex or simply foreplay she’s really into it and says it’d be really hot. But during everyday situations when I bring it up she says “I duno” like she’s nervous or concerned about it. It’s as if she’s into it but worried.

Understand your situation, kinda where my wife and I were a couple of years ago. I'd suggest letting the idea simmer a bit and see where it goes from there. If she is sayin' "I dunno" right now in a nervous or concerned fashion, then she is worried about it. If you think it's bad now, wait till after the fact and she's double thinking what happened. A lot of good advice has already been offered. Just to reiterate though, communication is key. At least you're picking up on her ques. Good luck regardless man. Remember, this is good place to talk about matters like this, no judgement and a lot of knowledge and wisdom to help out us noobs. 

[Numex 2,175]

5 hours ago, jamesok said:

I'd suggest letting the idea simmer a bit and see where it goes from there.

Let her know that she is in control and can make the decisions for both of you in all respects - who, where, when, how often, whether you're there or not, whether and how you participate.  Make her comfortable with what it is she decides.  Tell her that you will support her whatever she decides, don't criticize, and tell her that you are grateful to be the one taken along on her adventures.  Worked for me.

Edited March 1, 2023 by Numex

[GoldCoCouple 4,014]

Yes, it's all about trust.

[herpob 523]

 

On 2/28/2023 at 12:07 PM, Tommyfenix said:

Trying to find another guy who’s serious about helping me convince my gf to double team her. In Florida 

 

It’s not that I need someone to convince her or that she’s not interested. When I bring it up during sex or simply foreplay she’s really into it and says it’d be really hot. But during everyday situations when I bring it up she says “I duno” like she’s nervous or concerned about it. It’s as if she’s into it but worried.

 

Awesome advice here. My husband was like your GF, interested, hot, loved the idea, but totally concerned with the real deal. I was extremely patient and over much time we learned to play wonderfully together.

 

On 2/28/2023 at 4:35 PM, jamesok said:

Understand your situation, kinda where my wife and I were a couple of years ago. I'd suggest letting the idea simmer a bit and see where it goes from there. If she is sayin' "I dunno" right now in a nervous or concerned fashion, then she is worried about it. If you think it's bad now, wait till after the fact and she's double thinking what happened. A lot of good advice has already been offered. Just to reiterate though, communication is key. At least you're picking up on her ques. Good luck regardless man. Remember, this is good place to talk about matters like this, no judgement and a lot of knowledge and wisdom to help out us noobs. 

After many years, once mu husband joined in the first many times, he was like your wife. After the face he was like, "Whhaaaaaaa did I just do?"

 

 

On 2/28/2023 at 10:08 PM, Numex said:

Let her know that she is in control and can make the decisions for both of you in all respects - who, where, when, how often, whether you're there or not, whether and how you participate.  Make her comfortable with what it is she decides.  Tell her that you will support her whatever she decides, don't criticize, and tell her that you are grateful to be the one taken along on her adventures.  Worked for me.

 

Amen Amen Amen to this! So much wisdom in these posts from everyone.

 

 

Now for the good and the bad - be prepared - duh duh duh duuuunnnnn.

 

One of my best friends in college (yes a guy) married an awesome tiny sexy hot little thing. According to them both they had an incredible sex life. No children after 8 years and the sex was crazy good they say. Then my friend got the bug of wanting to see her taking multiple cocks. He didn't tell me until years later. He talked 5 of his friends into being fuck buddies. The deal was to use condoms with her if they are having sex with anyone else. If they were clean and not having sex with anyone else, condomless was preferred. He introduced it into role play and she enjoyed it, he spoke to her about it a little bit off and on, they used multiple sex toys eventually adding sex machines, they both say her orgasms were bigger and better. He figured, time to ask. His friends were still on board and he popped the question.  She said yes to his request asking him how many at one time catching him by surprise. She was delighted with the number. He was again surprised. She began to push him to set the date. A month later they had a 3 day weekend planned. 6 guys, his wife, 3 days. I know you are talking adding one guy but what happened is still plausible. She told me years later that it was the most eye opening and body awakening experience of her life. He told me it was the hardest weekend of his life. So as many have said, take it slow, let her lead, and be very careful of what you wish for, you may get it and a whole lot more. According to them both, over the past several years they have had a consistent trains, gangbangs, and groups of men. His interest exploded into events. He says it got out of hand day one and is still out of control but he can’t slow down the express. From her side of it the stories are downright orgasmic, from him its more of - he is along for the ride barely able to keep up.

[Numex 2,175]

On 3/9/2023 at 1:14 PM, herpob said:

he is along for the ride barely able to keep up.

It's great that they found each other and opened up the communications.  And goes to show that women, at least some women, are capable of and desire much more sex than their partner.  Another important lesson is that this openness and common interest enhances a loving couple's marriage.

[herpob 523]

I thought I'd check in with them and see how they were doing. She is having lots of amazing sex to hear it from her. She failed to tell me that they have contracted several diseases. My long time friend told me. He has been upset by the whole ordeal since the beginning. Last time they had sex together was over a month ago, she's to busy with other men. She doesn't care what she is passing around or to whom. He is. He did not offer me any details about what they have. He did answer my question, "Why do you stay with her?" He looked so sad, "I love her, I wanted this, I opened the door, I don't know how  to close it." I asked one more, "Are you going to tell your friends about everything?" "I am, but she is with more than them now," my very distraught friend.

[couplers 4,140]

6 hours ago, herpob said:

"Why do you stay with her?" He looked so sad, "I love her, I wanted this, I opened the door,..."

One must give the guy credit for his devotion.

 

She has a mental disease as well.  It's not the promiscuous sex itself, but the self-destructive ignoring of the danger.

[EastInWest 1,508]

1 hour ago, couplers said:

One must give the guy credit for his devotion.

 

She has a mental disease as well.  It's not the promiscuous sex itself, but the self-destructive ignoring of the danger.

I dunno. I feel like there's a point when it becomes a character defect to fail to recognize that the devotion is only flowing in one direction. We've all been there in vanilla relationships but when the behavior is this extreme?

Edited March 17, 2023 by EastInWest

[lcmim 1,008]

On 3/17/2023 at 7:50 AM, EastInWest said:

 

We've all been there in vanilla relationships but when the behavior is this extreme?

 

 

Not all of us can succeed in the endeavor, but the "in sickness and health" thing does set that standard.

 

I have witnessed some cases of that kind of devotion , at least two involving several years of 24/7 complete personal care.

The spouses were scary impressive in their devotion under duress.

 

I am grateful that, thus far, neither myself or my spouse have been thus challenged. I like to think that I would be up for it. 

You never know until you know.

None of the impressive spouses mentioned above thought of themselves as special. Their Loves were in trouble and they reacted. 

 

This case is a different sickness, but it still is a couples problem.

The question on him is how to best be of positive support.

This is more like an addiction problem than having a spouse with a stroke or MS.

[GoldCoCouple 4,014]

Original poster hasn't returned since Feb 28...

[couplers 4,140]

23 hours ago, EastInWest said:

there's a point when it becomes a character defect to fail to recognize that the devotion is only flowing in one direction.

 

22 hours ago, lcmim said:

Not all of us can succeed in the endeavor, but the "in sickness and health" thing does set that standard

Even making the proper decision is difficult.  No one wants to be a quitter, but no one wants to be a fool either.

[Numex 2,175]

On 2/27/2023 at 7:57 AM, PeterJ said:

The odds of this happening are asymptotically zero.

Doesn't whether it is zero or not depend on the area under the curve?  Asking for a friend.